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‘Tis the season for the Food Network to try to convince us their television personalities are all BFF’s!
In the latest propaganda video on Food Network, we’re led to believe that Alex Guarnaschelli, Anne Burrell, Sunny Anderson, Claire Robinson, and Aida Mollenkamp just can’t get enough of each other. Why, they love each other so much, they throw COOKIE SWAPS just so they can hang out more. How adorable! How special! How totally fake!
The video was supposed to be some sort of “How To Throw A Cookie Swap” tutorial for people with 3 brain cells (actual tip from Aida Mollenkamp: “Set a date for your cookie swap!”), but it played more like a nauseating, phony love fest. The truth is, you can only watch Anne Burrell hi-fiving Alex Guarnaschelli so many times before you want to throw up.
And you’ll never convince me the newly sexed-up Claire Robinson didn’t want to hit Aida Mollenkamp over her bony head with her frozen cookie log just once.
The video incorporated all the magical things that holidays are made of, including a corny intro that featured all the girls winking and waving at the camera like rejected Charlie’s Angels, Sunny Anderson shoving cookies in her mouth, and Anne Burrell flashing gang signs:
FNH reader Chelsea wrote in to let me know about this video, and her comments were too funny to not share:
Are we really supposed to believe that the FN hosts hang out with each other? That they’re “girlfriends?” Next I would like to see a video of them getting pedicures together. I bet Anne Burrell’s feet look like Frankenstein’s.
Also, I was insulted by some of their “tips.” Example: Aida instructs us to have our cookie swap on a weekend afternoon in early December, to be specific. God forbid you disobey her and have it whenever you f-ing feel like it. Alex’s segment about how to set up a buffet of cookies was remedial…we’re supposed to add “drama” to our cookie buffet?
Claire seems waaaay too excited about making a “nice, tight” log of cookies.
And I was SO disappointed to see that Sandra Lee phoned in her appearance. Those videos would have been a LOT more fun with drunken (and orange!) Aunt Sandy in the house.
How much ass-kissing are we expected to endure??
A lot, Chelsea. A lot.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---Food Network Glamour Shots
---Anne Burrell Hates Saggy Boobs… ALLEGEDLY!
---THINGS WE HATE: Barefoot Contessa’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix
---Ridiculous Food Network “Recipe” Of The Week: Robin Miller’s Sandwich Cookies
---Somebody Ask Aida Why She Can’t Talk Into The Right Camera
- General: Food Network