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20

No One Is Safe This Christmas
Posted on December 24th 2009 by Jillian Madison

food network christmas cards

(Merry Christmas, everyone!)


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Merry Christmas from Sandra Lee
---Food Network Christmas Cards: 2009
---The Food Network Christmas Commercial
---Rachael Ray Has Her Own CHRISTMAS CD
---‘Twas The Night Before Christmas – FNH Style

    20 Responses

  1. CherryRose says:
    December 24, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    Dearest Jillian,
    Your creativity and sense of humor never ceases to amaze! Best wishes to you and yours for a very Merry Christmas!
    CR and THT

    Reply
  2. Julia says:
    December 24, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    OH Ha Ha Ha! Back from the inlaws still smiling from Melissa’s poem and another present awaits me! I’ve certainly not been this good this year, will have to make amends. Merry Christmas Jilly, we all love ya! Thanks for making me laugh out loud everyday.

    Reply
  3. Dante says:
    December 24, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A TOUR BUS
    DRIVEN BY GUY FIERI, CHRISTMAS EVE
    YOU MIGHT SAY GUY FIERI IS A DOUCHEBAG
    THAT’S WHAT FOOD NETWORK HUMOR WOULD BELIEVE.

    Reply
    • lostinplace says:
      December 24, 2009 at 9:17 pm

      (another verse!)
      she went out on Christmas mornin
      lots of eggnog to be found
      little did she know that mornin
      his tour bus would run her
      right into the ground….

      Reply
  4. Alex says:
    December 24, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    That’s killer! Eesh, even I’m cringing at how bad that pun was.

    Reply
  5. Squarebob Spongepants says:
    December 24, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    Merry Christmas everybody! :)

    Reply
  6. Dank Dillweed says:
    December 24, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    Merry Christmas, Jillian, and all the other FNH jokers. Good night, and may Santa bring you all you dreamed of. Don’t forget to leave some treats for him.

    Reply
  7. Ray says:
    December 24, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    Merry Christmas, Jillian. Since discovering FNH last spring, it has been a constant source of amusement and has become I site I have to visit at least a couple times a day. Thanks for all the laughs, and I look forward to many more in the coming year.

    Reply
  8. Freezezzy says:
    December 25, 2009 at 12:23 am

    That pic on the side of the bus just makes it that much funnier. It’s like Guy desperately trying to get someone (like Grandma) to try some of his food.

    Reply
  9. Judith says:
    December 25, 2009 at 1:41 am

    Thank you Jillian, you have given me much joy. I come to this site 3 or 4 times a day just to have a “GOOD” laugh!!!

    Reply
  10. Lana says:
    December 25, 2009 at 2:14 am

    Hey, I think I got hit by that bus too! Freakin’ repeat offender! LOL

    Merry Christmas to all! Thanks for 1000 laughs this past year, and here’s to 1000 more ….
    *clink*

    Reply
  11. jpquinlan says:
    December 25, 2009 at 9:19 am

    Guy’s face on the side reminds me of that cartoon character on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The fry guy.

    Reply
  12. Hilbil says:
    December 25, 2009 at 9:26 am

    This site is great. Thanks for all the fun stuff! Merry Christmas.

    Reply
  13. Cole Slaughter says:
    December 25, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Merry Christmas to all, and to all a big bite!

    Reply
  14. Mystie says:
    December 25, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Merry Christmas, Jillian–thanks for all the laughs!

    Reply
  15. Di says:
    December 25, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Granny couldn’t get her panties off fast enough to throw at the bus, I guess?
    Another Christmas tragedy in Flavortown.
    LOL
    Thanks Jillian – that’s cute.

    Reply
  16. jpquinlan says:
    December 25, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Do you think we can get Keanu and Sandra back together for this one?

    Reply
  17. BOO says:
    December 27, 2009 at 7:18 am

    WOW! I missed this one!

    Ya think Aunt (hic)(burfpff) Toddy was DRIVING?

    Reply
  18. Sajib Malalaoo says:
    December 28, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Guy rents his ‘wife’ (beard) and ‘children’ from summer stock rejects. The dude is a poof.

    Reply

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