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Paula Deen »

Paula Deen Launching Designer Paper Products Line
Posted on December 22nd 2009 by Jillian Madison

Paula Deen’s got her own television shows, her own magazine, and her own restaurants. She’s got her own furniture line, her own cookware line, her own jewelry, and her own food products. She’s got her own cookbooks, her own playing cards, her own stores, and her own bedazzled eyewear. She hawks for Smithfield, Kaleen, and B. Lloyd’s nuts. She even has her own line of baked goods at Wal-Mart. But guess what, y’all?

PAULA DEEN AIN’T DONE YET!

It was announced today that Paula Deen will soon be launching her own line of… DESIGNER PAPER PRODUCTS, including stationery, recipe cards, and food containers. The products will be available in May 2010 in over 1,000 Michaels craft stores across America.

Paula better slow down, or she’s going to run out of products to put her name on.  All I know is that the second I see a line of Paula Deen sex toys, I’m moving to Guam.



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Paula Deen Getting Her Own (Wait For It…) FURNITURE LINE
---Paula Deen Has Her Own Line Of Mac and Cheese
---Paula Deen Getting Her Own Line Of Serta Mattresses
---Paula Deen In Legal Trouble
---The Paula Deen Recipe Advisory System

    39 Responses

  1. byrdie says:

    OMG. Hope they add toilet paper. Poopy Potty Paper.

    How appropriate. And WTF does paper have to do with cooking and food? NADA DAMN THING. What a cash ho.

  2. Hilbil says:

    And let’s not forget her husband’s coffee line…what’s it called, “Captain Michael’s Coffee”?

  3. Sarah says:

    This just makes me loathe the fat old cow even more.
    Disgust factor at an alltime high.

    If anything I hope she will leave her vast fortune to a good cause, because she ain’t looking all that good of late.

  4. leash says:

    I can’t believe she doesn’t have a butter deal yet.

  5. CherryRose says:

    Michaels’ craft stores…Hmmm? I wonder if Sandra Lee will start featuring Paula Deen’s paper products in her tablescapes?

    Perish this thought: Paula plans to BUY Michaels’ and change the name to “Michael Groover’s”.

  6. lostinplace says:

    hmmmm….would a Paula Deen sex toy be a vibrator shaped like a stick of butter?

  7. Alex says:

    What a cow.

  8. DippyDog says:

    I actually used to like her show – back when she had only one show, and none of those products deals – but the main reason I liked to watch her show back then was that she reminded me somewhat of my grandmother who I miss very much. But now Paula just makes me sigh and reach for the remote.

  9. Scoobie-Doobie-Doo says:

    Just who does that Pauler Deen think she is? Martha freaking Stewart?

    Good news is no one at Michael’s Crafts knows how to use any of the stuff they sell, so none of its’ Customers will, either. All her branded garbage will be in the Clearance aisle with this year’s leftover Christmas ornaments and Easter Bunny crap.

    Too bad she hasn’t put her name on Trash Bags. Insert your own joke.

    • CherryRose says:

      “Good news is no one at Michael’s Crafts knows how to use any of the stuff they sell..”

      I wondered about the “stationery” part. Does Paula Deen even know how to write or correspond with pen in hand? Do any of her TPT fans? Seems to me that a PD line of stationery is a waste of time and money.

  10. Belial says:

    My wife got a Paula Deen “skillet apple pie candle” as a office x-mas gift today. So theres another product

  11. Lauren says:

    LMAO I live in Guam! You’re welcome to move here! :)

    • byrdie says:

      Lauren, I don’t think that even Guam is far enough away. What we need is a space shuttle to Mars.

      All abooaarrrdd……

  12. Natalie says:

    The woman is like Krusty the clown!

  13. bon appetit says:

    Sorry this is off topic, but the side ad of “Grillin’ with Bobby Flay” might give me nightmares for weeks :)

  14. Stephen says:

    You forgot tacky ass candles. I was in Kroger the other day when I heard on the demo TV above me “Throw some more butter in that y’all!” and I’ll be damned if she wasn’t on a DVD on permanent repeat. Anywho below her butter bloated white wig was a display full of candles.

    From what I can tell, they are just as bad as that nasty ass pie from Walmart.

  15. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    Next thing you know Paula will have talk show.

  16. Teague says:

    I’d like to now just who these poor half wit’s are that look to Paula as a beacon of style and taste.

    • Sarah says:

      Good question. I imagine it is fueled by the lower socio-economic segments.

      Smarter, more well to do people would never pay inflated prices for some of the shit Pauler shills. One reason why they have more money to start.

  17. Dave says:

    When I read the headline, I thought she was coming out with her own line of paper towels and toilet paper. I’m sure that won’t be too far off in the future either.

    The woman has crossed the line from marketing herself to WHORING HERSELF.

  18. Fuy Gieri says:

    Who does she think she is? Gene Simmons?

  19. Freezezzy says:

    Paula’s already got her own set of paper products. It’s called MONEY!

  20. Jamie says:

    I’ve only tasted two things of Paula Deen’s that were worth eating. Some Gooey cookies and pork tenderloin. Everything else ended up in the trash.

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