General: Food Network »
The Food Network Drinking Game: OPEN CALL FOR SUGGESTIONS
 |
We here at FNH have tasked ourselves with putting together the internet’s largest Food Network Drinking Game – and we want your suggestions! The goal? At least 5 drink rules for every single show on the Food Network.
A few FNH readers have already gotten us off to a great start:
-1 drink every time Sandra Lee says “flavorful.” 1 extra drink if she uses “delicious” in the same sentence.”
-1 drink every time Giada does the claw hand movement next to her face (usually indicating “creamy” but sometimes “crunchy”).
-1 drink every time Bobby Flay loses a throwdown…1 bonus drink if he’s insulted in the process by his competitor.
-1 drink every time a Chopped chef violates health codes (bleeding into the food, reusing a tasting spoon, etc.). 2 bonus drinks if the judges eat it anyway.
-2 drinks every time Ina puts fruit in dessert.
-3 drinks every time Paula Deen invites a woman on the show to fix up her son (whichever the single one is – who knows the difference?).
-Sara, from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business
-1 drink every time Rachael Ray says “sammies”
-1 drink every time Paula Deen says “y’all”
-1 drink for each tablespoon of butter used by Paula Deen (that’s 8 drinks per stick of butter, y’all)
-1 drink every time Alton Brown chooses a multi-tasker over a uni-tasker
-1 drink every time Alton Brown makes a recipe you’ll never be able to replicate
-1 drink every time Sandra Lee takes a drink
-Drink continually while Sandra Lee adds “just a little tequila” to that cocktail
-1 drink if Ina Garten is wearing her denim shirt
-2 drinks if Ina Garten is wearing a black shirt
-1 drink if Ina Garten is making food for a dinner party of her gay friends
-5 drinks if none of them are named Steven
-1 drink if you have no idea who the hell the person with this new TV show is
-1 drink every time Robert Irvine yells at someone
-Go drink a glass of water if you’re playing this game while Emeril is on
-1 drink if it looks like Bobby Flay forgot his sunscreen
-Dani D. from Hanover
Leave your suggestions in the comments section – and we’ll post the final results some time next week!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---THE FOOD NETWORK DRINKING GAME---5 Food Network Game Shows That Should Exist
---The FNH Cupcake Wars Drinking Game
---The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game
---Chopped Champions: The Drinking Game
- General: Food Network
Filed Under
Post your comments
HELP US PAY THE BILLS!
If you enjoy the content on Food Network Humor and would like to help me pay the website bills, please use the "donate" option below. Any amount is greatly appreciated.
Thank you! -Jill
LISTEN TO THE LATEST PODCAST: Episode 20
THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.
Categories
- Best Of FNH (91)
- Closed Captions (20)
- FN on Facebook (5)
- FNH Google Search Terms (6)
- FNH Interviews (1)
- FNH Podcast (20)
- FNH Voicemails (1)
- Food Fight (5)
- Food Network Hosts (857)
- Aaron McCargo Jr (13)
- Adam Gertler (2)
- Aida Mollenkamp (6)
- Alex Guarnaschelli (5)
- Alton Brown (29)
- Anne Burrell (30)
- Bobby Flay (41)
- Claire Robinson (10)
- Dave Lieberman (1)
- Duff Goldman/Mary Alice (30)
- Giada De Laurentiis (66)
- Guy Fieri (150)
- Ina Garten (78)
- Ingrid Hoffman (2)
- Paula Deen (139)
- Rachael Ray (112)
- Sandra Lee (144)
- Sunny Anderson (7)
- The Neelys (4)
- Tyler Florence (13)
- Foodie of the Week (1)
- General: Food Humor (107)
- General: Food Network (485)
- Letters To FNH (33)
- Lists (33)
- New Rules (3)
- Next Food Network Star (80)
- Next Iron Chef (18)
- Numbers in the News (2)
- Open Thread (6)
- Reader Submitted Posts (28)
- SHOW SWAP (1)
- Things We Hate (11)
- Twitter Conversations (35)
- Uncategorized (1)
- Worst Cooks In America (7)
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
417 Responses
1 drink every time Ina asks some stupid, rhetorical question…”How bad can that be?” “How good is that?” etc.
Three drinks for “Don’t have fun without me.”
Three more drinks if she explains why it’s best to use homemade chicken stock.
One bonus drink if she’s wearing her Loro Piana slippers made of GOOD Italian cashmere.
3 drinks when she tells you that saffron is the stamens of crochuses.
And what’s especially funny about that is that it’s not the stamen but the stigma ;)
2 drinks everytime she mentions the Hamptons/somewhere/place in the Hamptons
Drink anytime she talks about “good vanilla.”
drink every time she giggles while serving her friends their meal.
That’s amazing…we’ve been playing the same drinking game for 2 years!
One drink everytime you hear the Barefoot Contessa theme song. Two shots everytime you suspect Jeffrey’s “work during the week” involves dating a man.
hahahahah Amanda! Best drinking game of them all. Ill be drunk 24/7 if i get the series on dvd!
2 drinks everytime you clearly see Ina behind the steering wheel of a Mercedes.
1 drink every time Ina takes a Barefoot Contessa container out of the fridge to get out her “fresh” ingredients.
1 drink every time Ina goes to a local Hamptons specialty store; an additional drink if anything in the store is priced under $20/pound
One drink for every DDD customer who describes the food as “fresh”;
One drink each time the Neelys coo over each other using the words “sweet”, “sweetie”, “sugar” or “honey”;
One drink for each out-of-the-kitchen road trip that Ina Garten takes;
or “Big Daddy” and “Mama.” Yuck!!
“-2 drinks every time Ina puts fruit in dessert.”
How many drinks when Ina puts dessert in a fruit?
Hilarious!
LOL!
Matt, that’s EXAAACTLY what I was thinking! How faaabulous!
One drink every time Sandra Lee says “And can I tell you . . .”
Or “I cannot wait for you to try this….”
Or “I want you to…”
My thoughts exactlt CherryRose!
No Anne Burrell ones yet? These are too easy.
1. Drink when Anne uses the deep “growling” voice
2. Drink when Anne says “brown food”
3. Drink when Anne says “earl” instead of oil
4. Drink when Anne adds a handful of salt to a dish
5. Drink when Anne talks to her food, such as “hey my little cuties”
How about a drink every time Anne talks to throwaway food “thanks for coming to the party”
a handful of salt…hahahaha, so true
Drink when Anne says, “Because we’ve got time for thyme”.
A double shot whenever Anne wears a shirt that’s two sizes too small. I know it’s a cooking show but please put away the muffin top!
And a bonus shot if she’s wearing her Follow-the-Yellow-Brick-Road red clogs.
How about one drink every time Chef Anne speaks in a British accent, and one drink every time Chef Anne mentions the phrase “Happy Girl”? Oh, didn’t someone already say one drink every time Chef Anne says “BIIIIIIIG MEAT”?
P.S.: I really like Chef Anne because I’ve actually learned some helpful tips by watching her show. But hey, gotta spread the love around, right?
Helllooow little honey bear
Why not just simply try to keep up with Sandra Lee.
Hehehe, good one!
Barefoot Contessa:
1 drink when Ina says:
-”use GOOD —-” (vanilla, olive oil, chocolate, etc.)
-”how bad can that be?” (already mentioned by anita)
-”i wonder what (guest friend) is up to?”
-”jeffery” and “chicken”
2 drinks when Ina:
-goes to a local store
-gets flowers from her garden
-uses a liqueur in a recipe
I was going to make similar suggestions:
Ina mentioning Jeffrey, “good vanilla,” butter at room temperature, etc.,
Also when Sandra Lee over enunciates the letter “L.”
When Giada says a word in Italian.
When Rachael Ray mentions nutmeg followed by, “Hmm…what is that?”
2 drinks every time Rachel Ray say EVOO then has to tell you it’s extra virgin olive oil
Take an extra drink if Ina uses “Jeffrey” and “chicken” in the same sentence.
5 drinks if today’s episode of Barefoot Contessa has been on at least once a week for the past 3 months
lol, so funny
3 drinks every time Ina just ”randomly” calls one of her friends to check up on them, see what they’re doing for the dinner party, or suggest something they should bring. We all know how realistic that is.
3 drinks for every time Guy says “flip-flop” in a DD&D episode.
4 drinks if he actually wears flip flops in a restaurant’s kitchen.
2 drinks everytime he says “winner, winner chicken dinner”
I actually heard someone say that phrase yesterday, and I knew right away that they were a Fietti-fan… How sad that that phrase is catching on…
ACTUALLY, “winner, winner, chicken dinner” is not a Guy Fieri original. It potentially came from gambling in Las Vegas where back in the day winning a couple of bucks meant you had enough to buy a chicken dinner, but regardless of the origin it is actually a fairly common phrase now.
Can we forget the drinks and just shoot him when he says “flip flop”?
This one gets my vote!
Excellent!
The following is required:
-Finish your beer/cup/glass anytime Guy uses rhyming nonsense words (eg. “This sandwich is slamma-jamma!”).
Totally LOLing in my work cubicle!! My co-workers must think I’m crazy :)
*1 drink for every time Ina giggles
*1 drink for every giant Giada grin
*1 drink for each lonnnnnnnnnng, drawnnnnnnnnnn-out syllable spoken by Sandra Lee
*1 drink for any mention of “Aunt Sandy”
*1 drink for every “super-simple” said by Sandra Lee
Add three drinks if Giada, while chopping or whisking something, suddenly looks at the camera and flashes her gigantic tooth-filled smile.
1 drink for anytime ANY host says “I wish you had smell-o-vision”
Shoot, you stole my idea…I’ll drink for that – one shot of tequila with worm!
Drink every time you get an urge to throw your shoe at the TV.
Finish the entire bottle when you feel like blowing up the TV.
- 1 drink every time Ina uses “good vanilla” in a recipe.
- 2 drinks every time Guy Fieri says “winner winner chicken dinner”.
- 2 drinks every time Ina acts like it’s no big deal to go down to your local specialty cheese shop and drop $50 on 2 wedges of cheese.
- 3 drinks every time a contestant on Chopped steals equipment from another contestant.
- 5 drinks if they don’t wash the equipment before using it themselves.
- 1 drink every time a contestant on Chopped insults another contestant’s food or throws them under the bus.
- 3 drinks every time Rachel Ray says “e.v.o.o.”
- 2 drinks every time Paula Deen deep fries something.
- 8 drinks if she deep fries a stick of butter.
- 3 drinks every time Alton Brown goes into some scientific explanation and you have NO IDEA what the heck he’s talking about.
- 2 drinks every time Geoff from Charm City Cakes (Ace of Cakes) is on camera talking and sounds like he is high as a kite.
- 4 drinks every time Sandra Lee’s outfit matches her kitchen decor.
- 4 drinks every time you turn on Food Network and see Aida MollenKamp, Sunny Anderson, Ingrid Hoffman, Dave Lieberman, Claire Robinson, or Aaron McCargo Jr. and have NO IDEA who the heck they are and why they have a cooking show.
Are you trying to kill us?
Didn’t you read the “12 step” disclaimer? Hee, hee!
8 drinks if she deep fries a stick of butter… LMAO!!!
lol, these are so funny. especially about the other hosts, some are okay but could never compete on the real food network or this website
One drink every time Iron Chef America adds a weird sound effect to the chairman’s dramatic movements.
One drink if you can’t identify any necessary pieces of dinnerware set out on Sandra Lee’s tablescape.
One drink every time Ina mentions that Jeffrey likes chicken.
Chairmen wise, you’d be wasted before any real cooking began.
-1 drink for every hydrangea in Ina’s centerpiece.
-1 drink for every gay man that Ina invites over for dinner. Geoffry does not count.
-Drink one for every instance Ina references some fabulous trip to France, Italy, etc.
-1 drink every time Tyler says “off the hook”
-1 drink every time Rachel burns something.
-1 drink for each 30 Minute Meal dish that looks like dog food.
-1 drink for every item in Aunt Sandy’s kitchen that happens to match her outfit.*
-1 drink each time the Nealy’s make a sexual innuendo.
-1 drink for each ring on Paula’s fingers. Drink twice if she jams these into some sort of dough or pile of meat.
-Drink 5 should Paula NOT add butter to something.
*WARNING: May result in alcohol poisoning and/or death.
“-1 drink each time the Nealy’s make a sexual innuendo.”
i think that deserves an star too haha
Tyler says “off the chart” Guy says “off the hook.”
You’re right! They have too many damn catch phrases.
1 drink for every time Tyler says “boom” when he adds an ingredient
A bonus shot for every time Tyler says “amazing.”
1 drink every time Rachel reminds you that she ”needs to keep an eye on that because she always burns the bread.”
-3 snifters of Courvoisier (or “good” brandy) when Ina seems surprised by the amount of meat that she’s purchased for two people.
-3 glasses of expensive aged Port when Ina serves or mentions really good Stilton.
But of course, it’s got to be “good” spirits with Ina!
1 drink every time Gina Neely says something stupid and superfluous.
2 drinks everytime Pat Neely employs his fake laugh; “heh, heh, heh”.
Between these two, you’ll have alcohol poisoning before the first commercial.
1 drink everytime Guy Fieri on GBB refers to an ingredient as a “bad boy”.
LOL!! these are Gold!
-1 drink every time Guy refers to a food as money
-1 drink every time Rachel Ray makes stoup
-1 drink every time Aaron McCargo wears too much jewelry
-1 drink every time Alton goes out of his way to make a dish more complicated than it needs to be
-1 drink every time Duff doesn’t do work
-1 drink every time Mary Alice has a bad hair day (yess! a couple drinks every episode)
-1 drink every time Sandra Lee talks about her “easy” table-scape
And another drink every time RR has to explain what “stoup” means……
How about a double shot every time Mary Alice narrates the past 10 minutes of ace of cakes.
Oh geez, I see alot of dead livers in the future.
–Anytime Alton uses a prop to explain something
–When Giada uses the word “heavenly”
–A keg stand for any episode trying to prove how popular they are by hosting a party
–A fifth for every Challenge marathon
–A drink for every “swoosh” noise on ICA
–Any Rachel gibberish/arm waving/hell, just drink anytime her raspy voice pisses you off
–Any time a cook on DD&D uses granulated garlic
–Any time Guy uses 50′s speak
–Any time Alex makes a constipated face
–Chug for the entire Sunny inexplicably pimping Viva commercials
My liver aches just reading this. Good stuff!
2 drinks everytime Alex Guarnaschelli condescendingly calls out a contestant on Chopped for a teensy-tiny issue that she makes seem epochal, that she herself has probably committed at least 5,000 times.
I would like to direct y’all to this Facebook group for the Unwrapped Drinking Game that my boyfriend and I created. It’s pretty awesome! (And will get you pretty hammered.)
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2204609123
Wow, I was just thinking “Huh, February is almost done and I haven’t gone to the ER for alcohol poisoning ONCE!”
Ooh, this is fun. What about some old-school Chiarello? Take one drink:
- every time he uses fennel spice.
- per pinch of gray salt he uses
- for each tedious appetizer he presents in a serving spoon
- for each Aunt Sandy-esque themed party he throws
- for every non-hetero thing he utters, wears, and does. (ex. “just need to shave my Pecorino”)
Or maybe Skeletor herself, Robin Miller? Again, take one drink:
- for every dish she claims is kid-friendly, when no actual child (or adult) would be able to taste it without heaving
- each time she wears a tracksuit to give the impression of having a “busy” lifestyle
- every time you wince at the horrible ORANGE blush on her face
- for each bone you see protruding from her malnourished flesh
- every time she gives the camera a creepy, lifeless, bug-eyed stare (make sure you can afford enough alcohol for this.)
Oh, forgot to add…finish the entire bottle if you actually see Chiarello’s wife.
He could seriously pass for one of Ina’s friends.
I did see the alleged “wife” on one episode several years ago. He prepared an anniversary dinner for her and they dined alfresco. She had short blonde hair and they didn’t look like a convincing couple to me since I picture him with a man. She was probably some actress they hired to make him appear heterosexual.
OMG…Stephanie, those are HILARIOUS!
My friend and I are convinced Robin killed her husband and cooked him for the Food Network execs, threatened to do the same to them and that’s how she ended up with a show.
…another couple of drinks for each time Tyler Florence says “boom.” Aaaaggghhhh…it’s not even for some big moment like Emeril’s BAM was!!! Geez.
LOL.. and another drink everytime he shoves a plate of food into the camera to show you how gorgeous it looks
5 drinks everytime the camera picks up the annoying chest/breast mole on Giada’s Aunt Raffi.
Priceless.
Grooossss
http://foodnetworkhumor.com/img/giada-raffi-4.jpg
HAHA! OMG
- Drink an entire bottle of Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio whenever Aunt Raffi appears on Giada’s show.
1. One drink every time Guy is “on the bus to flavor town”.
2. Two drinks if his trip to “flavortown” is “money”.
3. One drink any time Giada says “crispy”, “creamy”, or “crunchy”.
4. Two drinks when Robin Miller gives a thumbs-up during her tasting food-gasm.
5. One drink when Rachael tells you the meaning of “oregano” in Greek. Take a bonus drink if she, in the same episode, tells you that her “in-laws like the flavor of garlic, but don’t like pieces of garlic in their food”.
6. One drink whever Aunt Raffi tells Giada she’s doing something all wrong.
7. Drink continuously whenever Giada is making something with Nutella.
8. Open a fresh bottle of tequila when “Down Home with the Neelys” comes on. Prepare to drink every time either of them talks of “stealing sugar”. Switch to something stronger whenever Pat laughs.
9. Take two drinks every time you hear Alex say, “the best crunchy topped pie”.
10. Take three drinks every time you see Michael Groover and he totally creeps you out.
Ahahaha, I love #5!
“On the bus to flavor town.” GAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
“BEST CRUNCHY TOPPED PIE” LMFAO! That commercial is driving me to liver damage…
Another Sandra Lee one:
drink if she uses cool whip (extra drink if she adds flavored extract or food coloring to it)
Or when she mentions Kimber, Brycer the future “friend of Ina’s” or Miss Stephanie.
I keep thinking that one of these days Brycer is going to give “his Aunt Sandy” a facial head slap on camera…
hahaha, i was thinking about brycer too, so glad someone brought it up
When Alton Brown says “But that’s for another show…”
One entire bottle if he ever DOES that “thing” for another show.
2 drinks when Gina Neeley pretends to be the “spice fairy” when she’s sprinkling spices on the food.
haha yes!! that drives me nuts
1 drink for every time pat calls gina “mama”
1 drink for everytime they use cayanne pepper in a dish
1 drink for every pig you can spot in the kitchen
1 drink for every typical southern dish they make
(that combination will send you to the hospital before the first commercial.)
1 drink every time Giada practically has an orgasm when she eats something
5 drinks if the episode doesn’t include her having a picnic of somesort.
1 drink for every time Anne Burrell says “little cuties”
1 drink for every time she says “lovely” when describing a color or scent
1 drink for every crazy arm movement she does
1 drink for every time a contestant on Chopped puts red onions in a dish and Scott complains.
That’s all I got for now.
Tequila shots if the Chopped contestant puts red onions in the entree AFTER Scott complains about said contestant putting them in the appetizer.
Help! I’m outta likker and the game aint over!!!
Gulp your entire drink every time that look on Aunt Raffi’s face tells you that if the camera weren’t rolling, she’d sink as axe into Giada’s skull for contradicting or bossing her around for the n-th time.
1 drink everytime Todd seems like he’d rather be anywhere other than in another episode of Giada’s show.
For Food Network Challenge:
-1 drink if it’s a cake challenge
-2 drinks if it’s sugar sculptures
-1 drink for every “coming up after the commercial” segment that shows the audience gasping in horror
-1 drink every time someone’s crucial supplies were damaged in transit
-10 drinks if Kerry Vincent isn’t wearing that damn headband.
Hahahahahaha!!!
I was trying to think of a good one for Bronwen Weber…
Drink whatevers left in the bottle if you make it the entire challenge without seeing Bronwen wearing pink, making something in the cake pink, or mentioning that her favorite color is pink. Start over with a fresh bottle and drink this particular challenge was aired after an episode of DD&D.
Aah, start over with a fresh bottle and drink from that bottle if this particular challenge was aired following an episode of DD&D. I didn’t flesh that out that well.
Every time Rachael explains EVOO, finds away to talk about “her sweetie” or says Kids.
Everytime Pat Neeley says “Ya’ll”.
1 drink every time Alton says “Uh”
1 drink for every extra second gadia takes to pronounce a word
3 drinks if aida gets asked a question a 12 year old couldn’t answer
2 drinks if Alton uses puppets
-Drink once for each time Paula cackles like someone who has escaped from a mental institution.
-Drink once every time Paula leers lecherously at a male audience member of Paula’s Party.
-Drink once every time Rachel Ray looks like a big old frump.
-Drink once for each time Paula, Giata, or Guy experience a foodgasm.
-Drink once for each time you are blinded by Giata’s big white teeth.
-Drink once every time you ask yourself how a figure skater got his own cooking show.
2 drinks if Rachael Ray is wearing a snap-crotch bodysuit.
I’m sorry, but two drinks is not enough. I’d need a lot more booze to cope after seeing that!
1 drink for every lemon that Giada zests
1 drink for every time Sandra says “purrfect”
1 drink for every time Ina thinks she knows more about other people’s tastes than they do themselves.
lmaoo @ the lemon zzzzzzest!
* 1 drink when Michael Groover mumbles an answer to something.
* 1 drink every time Sandra Lee is sporting a 1970′s Farrah Fawcett style hairdo.
* 2 drinks when it looks like an Iron Chef competitor has a drop of sweat fall from their face into the food they’re cooking.
* 3 drinks when Ina “air kisses” a friend on both cheeks.
* 3 drinks when Ina’s gay florist friend is shown wearing orange and hot pink.
* Big swig when Paula cackles too long and too hard, sounding like a barnyard chicken.
* Suck down half the bottle when Rachael instructs you FIVE TIMES IN AN EPISODE that “stoup” is thicker than soup, and thinner than stew.
Hey, Hey now………this was funny until you compared Paula Deen to a “barnyard chicken.” Show the barnyard chicken a little respect please.
Hee! Good one, Mary. :)
3 drinks when Rachael Ray licks the corner of her mouth.
Or sniffs and swallows it. Gross.
1 shot for ever time “Down Home with the Neallys” stops mid-recipe to interview Pat or Gina about how their love of barbeque strengthens their marriage.
1 shot every time Sandra Lee says that searing meat seals in juices.
1 shot every time she mentions “my nephew Bricer.”
1 shot every time she cradles a utensil even if it couldn’t possibly drip anything.
1 shot every time Alton uses styrofoam balls to represent food at the molecular level.
1 shot every time Marcella says tor-DEE-a.
Ha Jenni, I love your first one–that always bugs the hell out of me.
lmao these are effin hilarious and true!
2 drinks for everytime Paula digs into Michael Gruber’s beard and pulls out a mushroom.
yuck! LOLOL
I’d take the opposite approach — drinking when you’ve learned something useful (in other words, staying sober while watching the food network):
–each time Giada gets through a show without adding Mascarpone, Pancetta, or Prosciutto to what would otherwise be a recipe anyone could find anywhere.
–when they tell us where their recipe ideas came from instead of pretending they made them up themselves.
–when Ina makes a recipe that doesn’t feed 643.
–or when Jeffrey says to Ina, “You know I love you, but I’d be OK if you never made this again.”
–or when Ina “searches” her pantry for ingredients and actually finds something really surprising. Or old and moldy that has to be thrown away.
–when Tyler issues corrections for the mistakes in his cookbooks.
–when Aida answers a question in a way that doesn’t seem rehearsed for at least a day. She can’t stir and talk at the same time anyway.
–when the Neelys make a nutritious and visually appealing meal.
Funny! I’ve cooked three of Tyler’s recipes, each time hoping and praying that the previous disaster was a fluke or a mistake on my part. But never again.
Bravo!! Good points, Tom.
2 drinks everytime Duff talks with his mouth full.
How about when any FN host talks with their mouth full? :)
Holy cow people, this must be a very drunk site!
You have to be drunk to sit through these shows.
- Enjoy a glass of fine French wine every time that Melissa D’Arabian gives tips on freezing bacon, lemons, blue cheese, etc. Better keep the bottle handy ;)
Or everytime she gets bug-eyed.
In that case, you’ll need two bottles!
2 drinks for everytime Sandra Lee says: “Can I tell you?”
3 drinks if she alternates with: “Can I just tell you?”
By the way, I’m all better now. Got some Predisone and I have quit smoking.
Unfortuantely last week the electrical in our wall went batshit and our computers EXPLODED. 3 new hard drives equal 3 dozen tequila shots. :) As soon as I get them reloaded and set up again, I’ll be back on the forums.
JAMIE! You’re alive!!! Great to hear from you. Bummer about the electricity and the hard drives, but I’m glad you’re feeling better. :)
1 drink every time you suspect that Jeffrey Steingarten is suppressing a huge burp or fart
Holy crap I thought I was the only one that noticed this.
1 drink every time Ina Garten says the full name of her recipe while in the process of cooking it
1 full Long Island Iced Tea every time Giada says MAAS-KUH-PO-NAY.
All Triple D based:
1 drink every time Guy says “Triple D”
1 drink every time Guy says “Flavor Town”
1 drink every time Guy pretends to be scared to get dirty
1 drink for every flip flop Guy is wearing
1 drink for every inch of dark roots Guy is showing
1 drink for every cameraman you can see in Guy’s shades
1 drink for every time Guy says ‘This , that’s right up there with some of the best I’ve had”
1 drink for every Guy rhyme-scheme (i.e. Holy moly cannoli, winner winner chicken dinner, etc)
1 drink for every Guy fist bump
One drink every time Guy makes some really bad joke or pun then stops and looks at the camera all smug and pleased with himself.
eewwwwww! I f’ing hate it when he does that. It makes me wish I could punch him in the face.
1 drink for every time I’m grateful that Aida dumped Noah Starr.
a HUGE drink every time Giada says “just like that”
Or “perfect!”
Or “Ohhhhh” and there is no vibrator in site to make sense…
What about when Giada says “AND thennn…” about a thousand times during the show!
(sorry for my Guy repeats, I didn’t read the comments prior to posting!)
1 drink every time you see Alex Guarnaschelli wearing that enormous green hunk of something necklace
1 drink every time you see Bobby Flay sweating profusely
1 drink for every extra bowl Ina uses to crack eggs
1 drink for every Viva paper towel Sonny uses
1 drink for every Neelys commercial you fast forward thru
1 drink for every Mary Alice hairstlye
Oh, I despise that necklace! I started seeing her fairly recently not wearing it and I thought, finally she got rid of that montrosity! Nope, saw her in something that wasn’t an old show and that f’ker was back around her chubby neck!
3 shots of tequila and a free grammar lesson everytime Claire Robinson says “in THUH oven” instead of in THEE oven.
1 Bombay martini every time you find out that orange roses are Ina’s favorite.
1 drink for every time the camera picks up Booby Flay’s man breasts.
Oh yeah. Seriously, Flay’s camera people must hate him.
- a bottle of Limoncello if Giada isn’t exposing cleavage
Darn, then I’ll never get to have a Limonchello drink.
How about one drink when Claire Robinson uses the word “amazing” which she does pretty much every other sentence she speaks.
1 chug for each jug everytime Giada shows her assets.
This is fun, but I thought it was going to be something where drinks are suggested to fit the various hosts – this one came to mind virtually immediately:
Paula Deen – Clamato (in honor of “Captain” Michael) and Everclear, garnished with a slice of bacon
Ran with your idea, Peaches….see my post below!
– One drink every time any host feels the need to explain to us what “al dente” means.
– Two drinks each time a “Chopped” contestant manages to include bodily fluids in a dish.
– One drink every time Rachael Ray uses “EVOO” or “GB” and then goes on to spell out what they mean.
Along with the “al dente” drink, a shot for every time a FN host tells us to caramelize the food item to give it more flavor.
Also, one drink if the host says “lemony thyme”, “smokey cumin”, or “parmesan adds a salty bite”.
or, every time the chef/host says, “Ooh, I can really taste the “.
Or every time a host tells you to salt the pasta water because, “That’s the only time you can season the pasta itself”
1 drink every time Alton tells us that an ingredient “brings flavor (or something) to the party”
Some of these are repetitive, but this is a list I devised previously for Barefoot Contessa alone.
Drink when Ina…
Mentions (good) quality of ingredient
Uses the phone
Drinks or mentions alcohol
Is outside
Has a friend over wearing sweater
Talks to someone who may be gay
Mentions Jeffrey
Mentions Barefoot contessa (store)
Goes or Sends someone shopping
Drives
Mentions or is in garden
Talks about flowers
Sits at computer
Love those, Eric!
How about all the times she walks into a store, gets her item and walks out without paying?
Aimee already caught a drink for every time Ina giggles, however, I suggest a twist on that concept.
Every time Ina giggles you must take a shot of GOOD vanilla.
Everyone took all my ideas!!! :(
How about take a drink for every time someone salt/peppers something.
But then again…. that’s just asking for alcohol poisoning.
when any host says and they all use it, NUTTY!
toasting to emphasize the nutty flavor of almost anything, spices, rice, nuts
An extra shot if Rachael says that anchovies cooked in oil taste nutty. How the hell did she arrive at that conclusion? She also likes the combo “nutty and SUH-WEET!!”
1 drink everytime Ina says “turn up the volume.”
1 drink when any of them, particularly Paula, says to “dump” ingredients.
2 drinks when the Neely’s start dancing and singing.
1 drink when RR says there should be a game show for carrying ingredients.
2 drinks whenever her scuzzi husband is on.
How ’bout one drink for every item Rachael tries to carry. Drink the whole bottle if she drops something.
Every time RR toasts bread and tells you she usually burns it.
1 drink every time Paula refers to a cheese-laden potato dish as being her “healthy vegetable” for the meal.
2 drinks when Paula actually uses a non-starchy vegetable in her cooking (I’ve only seen this once).
1 drink every time Sandra Lee describes something as “delicious.”
1 drink every time Giada whispers “Just like that!”
1 drink every time Paula cuts to commercial with a mouth full of food.
1 drink for every inch of skin below her collarbone that Giada’s shirt reveals.
Loving these! :)
1 drink for every time Ina explains that saffron is the stamen of a crocus….then…
1 drink when she mentions how incredibly expensive saffron is.
1 drink when Giada extols the virtues of using fresh parsley/mint/thyme, etc.
1 glass of WATER every time Guy Feiri makes you want to puke. (Might offset the alcohol poisoning)
1 drink when Paula Deen mentions making/selling sandwiches in the “Bag Lady” days
One drink for every time Chiarello, Florence, Fieri or any other FN host refers to an ingredient as “guys,” e.g., “I’ll just give these guys a toss” (I bet you will, Michael), “Saute these guys until they’re lightly browned,” etc.
Or if they call food items, such as steaks or pieces of meat “bad boys”.
1 drink for whenever RR tells the story about how her husband says cilantro is “verdant”
-Drink every time Alton Brown say “uh”
There’s not enough liquor in the world for that challenge.
-Everytime Giada overpronounces a word, one drink for each syllable.
-1 drink each time a song that sounds like the Weather Channel local forecast music comes on Barefoot Contessa.
-1 drink each time a bodyless hand comes into the shot during Good Eats.
-1 drink anytime Guy mentions Hunter.
-1 drink anytime Guy questions a restaurant owner’s recipe or technique during DDD.
-1 drink anytime an ingredient is used that is not in your kitchen/pantry (don’t do this during Iron Chef or Chopped).
-1 drink every time Tyler Florence uses thyme. I swear he puts it in everything.
-1 drink every time Ina uses her stand mixer or parchment paper.
-1 drink each time a song that sounds like the Weather Channel local forecast music comes on Barefoot Contessa.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES I thought I was the only one who noticed!
So Ina gets the Weather Channel music, while Giada’s soundtrack is soft porn. Cool.
1 drink for every Giada boob shot
1 drink every time Sunny Anderson mentions Viva paper towels
1 drink every time Aaron McCargo utters gramatically incorrect phrases
1 drink every time Rachael Ray refers to some crappy, fattening meal as “healthy”
1 drink every time Rachael Ray claims to be Italian, yet can’t seem to pronounce any Italian words correctly
1 drink every time a chef has a foodgasm
One drink when….
-Guy says “That’s bananas..and bananas is GOOD”
-RR says “Remember to salt your pasta water, it’s the only chance you have to flavor the pasta-itself”
-Giada says “See how pretty that is” OR “Is that NOT beautiful?”
An entire bottle….
Whenever the Neelys are on!
You’re right about the Neelys. I’d have to get drunk just thinking about them, especially her loud-ass mouth.
1 drink for when Gina Neely says PAP-a-REEKA.
1 drink for when she says guh-REEEEN BEANS.
1 drink for whenever one of Pat’s loser brothers shows up.
1 drink for when their daughters look like they want to fall through the floor in humiliation.
1 drink for when they make any of their myriad versions of macaroni and cheese.
1 drink for when Gina mentions that she and Pat met in, like, first grade.
Thank you for the pap-a-reeka comment! I hate that. What about vinegar-ette instead of vinaigrette? Unfortunately she is not the only person on FN to say it this way. So vinegar-ette? That means a really small vinegar or what?
I think it means a french, female vinegar.
drink when rachael ray says:
-mmm, mmm, mmm
-and you know, this would be a great meal to entertainment
-oregano means ‘joy of the mountain’
two drinks every time you see an iron chef commercial
Yes! It seems that every meal RR makes is a great meal to entertain with-Good one!
I have noticed that as well. I’m really sure I would entertain with hamburgers cooked in a skillet. And don’t forget how every meal is figure friendly and healthy. I watched her EVOO bottle during an episode this week and she used half of the contents for on meal. I’m guessing 1/2 to 1 cup, which is in no way healthy. Has she ever made a meal that did not use EVOO?
1 drink every time a singer wants to dance to the beat of their own drum.
1 drink every time Alton Brown refers to his audience as “kids”
1 drink every time Good Eats recycles the “Lever Man” costume (“Lactose Man,” etc.)
1 drink every time Ted Allen says something unnecessary during the judging on Chopped.
1 drink every time Duff Goldman laughs….even in commercials.
1 drink every time a Rachel Rayism is used, regardless of show.
1 drink every time Melissa D’Arabian or Anne Burell talk with their hands.
1 drink every time the expression “Fried Black-Eyed Peas” is uttered.
Erik :)
1 drink everytime Paula Deen goes cross eyed
1 drink everytime Tyler Florence is out of breath from moving from one side of the kitchen to the other
1 drink for everytime Sunny Anderson mentions her army brat days
1 drink for everytime Claire Robinson uses some expensive ingredient that no one could ever find/afford
KAT! You are so right about Tyler’s breathlessness. Makes me wonder if he’s asthmatic or prone to panic attacks.
1 shot of GOOD tequila – whenever Ina says the word “Hamptons”
1 shot of CHEAP tequila – whenever Sandy says “lickedy-split”
You guys worked OVERTIME on this one!!!
1 drink all the way whenever a brand name item is used on a cooking show on FN.
1 Drink for Every “Uh…” or “Um…” said by Alton Brown
2 Drinks anytime you see an episode of a show that has already been repeated 20 times
1 Drink every time Bobby Flay mispronounces chipotle
1 Drink every time Sunny mentions being in the military or does a shout out to the military
1 drink everytime Sunny says “Me and my guy”
Sunny has a guy? I thought Sunny WAS a guy.
Hehe – I kind of thought that Sunny joined the Air Force so she could meet interesting guys ;)
(not a bad idea, actually . . .)
I was trying to think of a Sunny comment and you beat me to it. She does mention say “my guy” or “my man” a lot!
How about a shot for every time she says “it’s that simple.”?
Or “You’re good to go with that”
2 drinks every time Alton Brown builds something made out of parts you buy at a hardware store to cook food in
1 drink every time one of his relatives, real or false, appears on his show
5 drinks every time you see a judge on “Iron Chef” with NO discernible food-critiquing skills whatsoever
Half the bottle when the secret ingredient is something you never heard of before
Amen on the Iron Chef judges, Sara! Where do they find those people?!?!
Nice one’s Sara!
Though I’d modify the relatives one to: One shot if they’re fake. Two shots if they’re real.
* 1 drink whenever Rachael says to “get the pan screamin’ hot”
* 1 drink each time she chuckles to herself and starts to tell a boring story you have no interest in hearing.
* 1 drink if Michael Groover appears in Paula’s kitchen and looks uncomfortable on camera.
* 1 drink each time Alton can be heard saying “Oh bother.”
* 2 drinks when Alton is in a grocery store, and in the background they’re playing a musak version of the Good Eats theme over the speaker system.
* 3 drinks every time Kerry Vincent makes someone cry. (3 drinks with this one to calm you down so you don’t punch her thru the TV screen.)
* 1 drink whenever Tyler Florence reminds you of an overgrown frat boy.
THANK YOU. That “screamin’ hot” business pisses me off.
some more haha
1 drink everytime Rachael Ray puts running water in a pot and ends up pouring more than half of it out because she was too busy piling 838537 things in her arms
1 drink for every new weave Sunny has on
1 drink for everytime you wonder why Melissa D’Arabian has a job
1 drink for everytime the Neely’s say “brown sugar”
1 drink for everytime you wonder if the Neely’s is a cooking show or just an excuse for foreplay
Yup, the pasta water runneth over thing irriates me too!
1 drink every time the word “awesome” is said on Ace of Cakes.
Sorry if I’m repeating anyone else’s suggestions, here goes…
– chug to the end of an impromptu Neely “song,” such as “back…and forth…” or “in…and out…” Ew. They’re so horny.
– 2 drinks if Ina unwraps a wedge of cheese that costs more than your cell phone bill.
– 1 drink every time Anne Burrell growls.
– 1 drink every time Sandra says, “I cannot wait for you to try this.”
– 1 drink every time Giada says, “Just like this” or “Just like that.”
– 1 drink every time Rachel rolls her eyes when sampling food on any show.
– 2 drinks every time Ina makes an old recipe with “the volume turned up.” Or does this only happen in one episode that I’ve seen six hundred times?
– 1 drink every time Paula refers to rubbing meat (which should never be uttered by anyone over the age of 30).
– 1 drink every time Paula dips her bling into something nasty, like raw ground beef.
That’s all for now… may be back with more…
Love the ones about Ina’s cheese costing more than your cell phone bill and Pauler dipping her bling into something nasty!
Oh oh! Forgot a big one…
1 drink for every time Paula absolutely slays a Mexican word, like ha-la-pee-no or chi-pol-tee.
Or when she says PEE-kan instead of peh-KAHN. Drives me nuts! (No pun intended.)
A lot of people do that, I say it pee-can as well.
That depends on what part of the country you are from. I am from north Georgia and I say pa-kahn and the people from central to south Georgia tend to pronounce it pee-can.
1 drink every time anyone on Ace of Cakes uses a power tool.
2 drinks any time Mary Alice’s hair color/style changes in the middle of an Ace of Cakes episode (you’re not fooling anyone, we know that footage wasn’t from the same day!)
Everytime someone on Ace of Cakes IS a power tool….
What is up with her? She has lost quite a bit of weight and looks SO much younger. Do something with that hair chicky!! She did something normal with her hair one time and it looked really good. But hell no, next episode it was colored in a multi-unnaturally way and looked like she hadn’t combed it in a week!
For Claire Robinson- 5 Ingredient Fix
- 1 drink every time she rolls her eyes back when she tastes something
- 1 drink for every time she says: ‘great’, ‘incredible’, ‘perfect’, or ‘amazing’ (pick one or two at the beginning of the show or you’ll be in trouble:)
- 1 drink every time she says ‘just’
- 3 drinks if she says ‘yulks’
1 drink when Sunny says ‘good to go’
1 drink every time Ina pops her collar.
Forget all of this…just get everybody plastered at once…2 drinks every time a relative or friend appears in any episode of any show.
3 drinks every time Sandra Lee says, “thick, rich and delicious”
1 drink every time Anne Burrell says, “That’s the way we roll in the restaurant”
2 drinks every time Claire Robinson and Sunny Anderson say “yulks.”
2 drinks every time Sandra Lee says, “You can just see the flavor.”
1 drink every time Michael Chiarello says, “And that’s all she wrote.”
1 drink every time Rachael Ray tips less than 15%.
1 drink every time RR does her geisha-girl laugh after taking a bite of food.
1 drink every time Rachael’s Vacations/Tasty Travels shows a restaurant that RR doesn’t actually visit. Drink the whole glass/bottle if she’s just sitting in a bar in NYC and not actually in the city featured on the show.
1 drink every time John shows up on one of RR’s shows looking like a homeless person.
The “Cuse” looks like he hides bodies in the basement.
Less damage would be done to your liver if you just downed a bottle of Thunderbird every day for a month than by following any of the suggestions here.
1 Drink every time Bobby makes his own version of a throwdown dish and it includes chiles (or bourbon/pecan if it’s dessert)
1 drink every time Sandra Lee opens a nasty grocery store taco spice packet
1 drink every time the judges on Chopped argue like babies
1 drink every time Paula Deen puts an ingredient in that doesn’t belong–ex-cheese in fudge, tomatoes in a sundae
1 drink every time one of Duff’s employees talks in a monotone
1 Drink every time Alton Brown uses the most obscure metaphor to help you not understand a scientific process
1 Drink every time the Neelys make collard greens or mention Pat’s football days of past
1 Drink every time Ina goes to the neighborhood store to just buy one roll, one block of cheese, or one fish fillet. Bonus drink if she sends one of her gays to get it for her. 2 Bonus drinks if it’s JR in the surfer station wagon.
1 Drink every time Ina write down instructions to go with a meal
1 Drink every time Sandra Lee puts storebought cupcakes or cookies on a storebought cake. Bonus if it’s the May cake with a wooden pole and ribbons
Jodie, I’m dying!!!! These are hilarious!!!
We have a drinking game where we take a shot each time Tyler Florence says “beautiful” during his show. The record?, 25 times in a 30 minute episode.
Long time lurker, first time poster, you all are hilarious. In the spirit of the drinking game, here are some FNH cocktails for us all to create in honor of our “celebrity” chefs/cooks.
Alton Brown – “Molecular Mohito” (made in a beaker, of course)
Rachael Ray – “EV OH NO” (3 parts olive oil, one part hair grease from husband, one part rum)
Sandra Lee – Ok, not like she needs one but hers shall be called the “kitchen sink-a-scape” (just pour everything into giant 3 quart pitcher, and drink)
Bobby Flay – “The Nailer” 2 parts tequila, one part cilantro, one part nail bits that fell off into drink
The Neeleys – “Sugah Sippah” one part brown sugar, 2 parts bbq sauce, pinch of cayenne (so it has a little KICK dontcha know) and 3 parts beer. Drink from communal glass, with one straw.
Paula Deen – “Butter Bomb” – one stick butter, 2 cups buttermilk, 1 shot rum. Call cardiologist before enjoying
Giada De Laurentis – “LEEEMUUUUN CHELLO Shot” 1 part limoncello, one part fresh, lemony thyme, one part gelatin. Refrigerate until firm, invite half of L.A. over, talk over everyone & drink them all by yourself, muttering that you did not get enough air time on your own show. Alone, in the corner.
Tyler Florence – Pop open a Bud, write alimony check.
Sunny Anderson – “The strainer” make rice milk, add vodka, drink through strainer lined with VIVA paper towels.
Robin Miller “Carrotini” – Use apple corer to core out your meal for the day (a carrot), fill with “lite” beer, crunch and drink from bottom of carrot.
Enjoy
OMG!! These are so hilarious. ROFL!!!! Mascarponay, thanks for jumping onboard!!!
Thanks, Holly – think I’ll go make myself a “blonde-a-tini” for Anne Burrell One part hair dye, 1/2 a shot spray tan, and vanilla vodka to cover the toxic taste!
And don’t forget the thumbs up while chewing.
Excellent suggestions, M.
Absolutely brilliant!
Win!
Marscar-Ponay ~
SO glad you posted. You’re a riot!!! :)
Ooops, forgot one:
Guy Fieri – “Flavor town Fizz” One part MONEY ginger ale, two parts WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER tequila, one part BANANAS IS GOOD puree. Whiz in blender, place on pinball machine, attempt to drink & play without tilting machine.
Boobs rules:
One drink everytime you can tell Sandy and bras are not close friends.
Five drinks everytime Giada does not show hers.
2 drinks every time Sandra says “super simple” or “can I just tell you?”
Everyday Italian (Any show):
1 shot if Giada uses a pinch of salt
1 shot if Giada adds fresh pepper
1 shot if Giada adds lemon zest
1 shot if Giada adds lemon juice
1 shot if Giada adds garlic
1 shot if Giada peels and dices an onion
1 shot if Giada uses a blender/food processor
1 shot each time Giada uses or adds olive oil
1 shot each time she chops and adds fresh basil or parsley
1 shot each time Giada grates fresh cheese
Be careful. This game could be dangerous. Do not drive afterward.
Drive??? You couldn’t LIVE after following this for 1 episode!
Jillian got this drinking game idea from my voicemessage to her about Melissa D’Arabian’s show — I told Jillian that my husband and I have a contest (no kidding) for every time Melissa says “MY” and that if it were a drinking game . . . . CHECK IT OUT EVERYONE: “I’m using MY knife to scoop MY mushrooms to MY pot”. You’ll be passed-out before the first commercial break.
I haven’t noticed that before, but of course now I’m going to be watching just to see that. :)
Tom beat me to the idea, but to add to to it (i.e. this is for the designated drivers)
1 drink every time Aaron utters a grammatically correct sentence.
2 drinks if Ina says…”it’s gonna be great” or “it’s gonna add lots of flavor”
1 drink every time Pauler says “gonna.” You’ll be passed out before the first commercial break.
They don’t even mess with the “gonna.” It’s “I’mina.’ Listen carefully.
1 every time Duff laughs (or chokes, whatever that noise is).
2 each time Tyler Florence adds a handful of salt or “fresh-crack pepper” to anything.
2 every time “moment of truth” is proclaimed on Food Network Challenge.
1 drink any time Tyler Florence says “So we got that.”
1 drink any time Ina Garten adds coffee to chocolate to “bring out the flavor.”
5 drinks any time any chef suggests you add flat-leaf parsley to give a dish a nice fresh flavor.
Who keeps that much parsley in their kitchen?! Parsley does add to certain dishes but NOT every freaking dish that comes out of the kitchen!
Oh, let’s not forget the mint garnish that goes on every dessert from apple pie to zabaglione
And Paula says that adding mint to dessert is so you can eat your vegetables!
1 Drink every time on Good Eats Alton starts to explain something then says “Come here” leading to a model, puppet, etc
Jillian, this is the best post ever! So much fun. Keep them coming!!!
We really can’t leave Emeril out of this, even though he isn’t taping any new shows on FN, so here goes…
1. One drink every time you “touch that dial”.
2. One drink if you even THINK about getting something out of the “icebox”.
3. Two drinks if you use “that www, dot, internet, dot, Emeril Live, dot, thing”.
4. One drink every time Santos or Vince are summoned to the cooking floor.
5. Progressive drinks for every time Emeril yells, “AND THEN…”.
Last, but not least…
Ten drinks every time he says, “Did I tell you that Doc Gibbs was in the house?!”.
Hilarious list, FoodieOne, but you forgot one for Emeril!
–A bottle of your favorite alcoholic beverage for every time he bitches about the “chicken police.”
Haha! How could I forget! “Wash your hands, the car you drove home in, your sink…etc.”
Or when he pulls the knobs off the stove to prove that you can change the degree of heat used!
Or every time he says “I don’t know where you get your ________ (chicken, pork, etc.), but where I get mine, they don’t come seasoned.”
Or when he tells us that we are dumbfounded by an ordinary kitchen tool, like a serrated bread knife, and don’t know what it’s for.
One drink every time Rachael Ray tries to swallow her own head (disengaging her jaw) pretending she is amazed at something, or attempting to eat one of her GINORMOUS burgers.
One drink for every time Guy goes to a place on DD&D that’s “doin’ it their way.”
Two drinks every time some people look visibly uncomfortable that Guy is in their face while they’re eating.
Three drinks when Guy talks with his mouth full.
Four drinks every time Guy is in the Camaro and you’re thinking, “he’s not really driving all over the country in this thing dressed like that…is he?”
Finish the bottle if you sit through more than 2 episodes.
1 drink for everytime Bobby Flay uses poblano peppers as a totatlly irrelevant ingredient whether it be salad, pasta, brownies, ice cream, etc….and loses miserably to a food challenge.
and 3 drinks every time Bobby Flay uses molasses in all his recipes
3 drinks for every time C.C.C. takes an entire episode to reveal a “cake” that looks too disgusting and man handled to want to eat it.
3 drinks every time you wonder how Marc Summers went from hosting Double Dare on Nickelodeon to hosting Unwrapped and being a judge on Ultimate Recipe Showdown.
Reward yourself with a tall glass of water whenever Jeffrey Steingarten DOESN’T act like an entitled pompous windbag.
Take 3 shots of Southern Comfort back every time you wonder if Bobby Flay does Throwdown just to feed his ego, even though he rarely actually wins a throwdown.
4 drinks every time Guy BEGS a cook/chef on DD&D to reveal their secret family recipe on national television.
2 drinks every time you wonder how the chairman on ICA (who was previously an actor) got the gig and who he had to kill to get it. Because we all know that he isn’t really the biological nephew of the original Iron Chef chairman.
2 drinks every time the ice cream machine is used in an ICA battle.
4 drinks if the flavor is something obscure like salmon.
Take a double shot of tequila out of an (empty) salt cellar every time the Lady of the Refrigerator appears on Good Eats.
Look to the person sitting next to you and take a swig of their drink if you manage to catch Anne Burell wearing something else besides a skirt or if she doesn’t have that thumb ring on…
10 drinks every time that annoying Chopped judge says “I don’t eat raw onions” and dramatic music follows (You know you can just NOT eat the onions, you idiot!)
HAHA! That guy drives me crazy! I can’t remember which episode it was, but he actually told one of the contestants that it was “irresponsible” to use raw onion in a dish. Seriously? Irresponsible?!
Bonus three drinks if Conant also mentions his dislike of raw peppers.
What? Irresponsible? Now, if they were using Drano in the recipes…THAT would be irresponsible.
That drives me nuts too! Who gives a rat’s ass whether you like raw onions or not. You are not a patron in a restaurant, you are a judge you moron! You give these chefs silly, time-consuming ingredients to prepare in a ridiculous amount of time with sub-grade “restaurant” stoves and you have the gall to state you don’t like raw onions?
and 1 drink every time Melissa d’Arabian cackles
2 drinks everytime Rachel Ray’s menu is a pasta dish, some type of greems, and an ice cream sundae.
How about another two for any time she makes a burger of some sort, or mashed potatoes.
1 drink every time Alton Brown refers to his refrigerator as the “chill chest” or his oven as the “hot box”
3 drinks every time Ted Allen unnecessarily rolls the “r” in Aaron Sanchez’s name on “Chopped”
2 drinks every time a vegetarian chef realizes he/she has to touch AND cook meat
Half the bottle if they survive the round (Don’t worry…it won’t happen)
2 drinks every time a contestant tries to justify his dish and Alex rips on him for interrupting her withering critique of his culinary ineptness.
1 drink every time Alex curls her lip in disgust, as if someone just dropped a doogie right on her plate.
Good ones, Fred Berfle LOL!
Now that he is a judge on Chopped, he is now Aron (accent on “r”, long “o”) Sanchez instead of just plain ole Aaron Sanchez as he has been since he first showed his face on FN?!
1 drink every time Aunt Sandy uses a seasoning packet.
Take another drink if she uses it for something it was not intended for (italian seasoning in corndogs, anyone?)
Drink continuously while she talks about how cheap and easy it is to use a seasoning packet and how much fllllavur it will add to your food.
1 drink for each time Guy Ferry acts overly amazed when a giant batch of food is made in an industrial sized mixer. Duhh! It’s going to feed many customers throughout the day this time Guy, not just your fat head!
A drink for every time someone has a foodgasm.
1 extra drink if they moan obnoxiously.
2 if their eyes roll in the back of their head.
A shot every time Alton says “Walk away…just walk away.”
Another every time “Thing” makes an appearance. (Or “lady of the fridge” or “nutritional anthropologist” )
A drink every time AB disparages French cooking.
Throw your empty liquor bottle at the t.v. every time AB says, “Oh, bother”.
Take a drink every time Michael Symon cackles and you want to smack him good!
Yes! His laugh drives me crazy!
That Laugh has no class!
None for Unwrapped? It’s on all the damn time!
–One drink for every unnecessary or unnatural pause in Marc Summer’s talking
–One shot for every unnecessary shot of some kid eating a product they don’t have the dexterity to handle yet
–Two shots for every obscure/regional/last place brand they feature being made when there’s an obvious leader (example, they go to the Del Monte ketchup facility instead of Heinz)
–Chug the bottle every time you swear you’ve seen that segment before and they repackaged it into another episode
–Chug another bottle for every segment they do featuring some OCD person and their ridiculous themed collection
And another shot every time the graphic refers to someone as an “Expert” instead of calling them a marketing or PR rep
None for Unwrapped….because I can’t stand to watch that damn show!!!!
I cringe and reach for the bottle whenever I hear Melissa D’Arabian say, “Welcome to my woooorld” in her commercial. WHY IS THAT SO IRRITATING????
Because, really, who WANTS to be in ‘her world’?
1 drink every time Rachael Ray uses some inane abbreviation like EVOO.
1 drink every time Ina Garten pronounces something she’s made as “perfect.”
1 drink every time Ina gets invited to a party or event at a friend’s house. . .to do the cooking.
1 drink every time the camera shows Bobby Flay’s stubby fingers with their gnawed-off nails. 2 drinks to help you forget the image burned into your retina.
I’d get a kick out of it if people took:
3 drinks each time Tyler Florence said “Absolutely amazing” or “Absolutely delicious.” Or, to make it easier, any time he said “ABSOLUTELY” haha
1 drink for anytime anyone says “I’d tell ya, but I’d have to kill ya” about their recipe.
Finish bottle if any Iron Chef challenger actually beats Morimoto.
You know he actually has the second WORST winning percentage?
He’s like 75-13.
1 drink for every ‘Challenge’ twist…an ex-con is your helper, you must bake a cake for a mystery couple, etc
1 drink for every dramatic musical hint that tragedy is soon to follow
1 drink for every Carrie evil eye dagger look
1 drink for every wooden dowel used to support wonky cakes
1 drink for every crack in the fondant
1 drink for every lost ingredient
1 drink for every gay, male cake designer
1 drink every time a host explains something that they’ve explained 100 times before (what EVOO means, what pancetta is, etc.)
More for Food Network Challenge:
- 1 drink for every time a contestant complains the judges didn’t “get it”.
- 1 drink for every time a returning contestant says they “should have won last time”.
- 1 drink for every time a contestant talks about how much they like a certain element of their piece, and then it cuts to the judges criticizing that element.
- 1 drink when Mike McCarey wins. 2 when he loses.
- 1 drink when something on their piece breaks or is otherwise ruined. 2 if they state that has “never happened before”.
- 2 drinks if Stevie Famulari is a contestant.
Two drinks every time Jeffrey Steingarten disagrees with
the other two judges on Iron Chef America.
(You’ll be passed out by the end of the judging).
Because I haven’t seen anything posted about him,
I LOATHE him, and his big fat jowls.
Me too. And his intense dislike of raw red onion is ridiculous. How many times must he berate a chef because of the use of gasp! red onion???
That’s Scott Conant you’re thinking of, another judge who can be childish at times. He appears on “Chopped”, and is much younger and *ahem* slenderer than Jeffrey Steingarten, who generally appears on ICA, The Next Iron Chef, and The Next Food Network Star. He was also one of the three judges who was recently on Worst Cooks of America, if that helps. He is often described as the author of the book, “The Man Who Ate Everything”. (He looks like it, too, and he often acts like something didn’t agree with him.)
Wahhh I have red onions in my dish!
You could just put them to one side, like I do, you big baby!!! I like cooked, but not raw, onions myself, but I don’t make nearly the fuss about that you do–you see, I’m a gwown-up and don’t have tantrums anymore.
I can’t help wondering if this thread set a record for the most comments within a certain time frame? Anyone else curious about this? Since I’ve been posting here at FNH, I don’t recall another thread that received so many hits in such a short period of time. Lots of funny stuff, too!
Kudos to Jillian!
Absolutely! The only other thing I remember even getting this many posts was the ongoing commentary with Candace.
One shot for every time Giada says, “So, I’m gonna start by…”
Three shots for every time Ina talks about how she used to ship brownies to Jeffrey.
One shot for every time you feel that Alex Guarnaschelli simply is not from this planet.
5 shots for every time Ina says the word “volume” in any given episode. By the time one show is over, you’ll be so piss-eyed drunk, you won’t give a d@mn what she’s making!
1 drink every time Sandra Lee drags out the L sound in the beginning of a word
1 drink every time Sandra Lee uses the phrase “nice and _____” (insert adjective)
1 drink every time Sandra Lee says the word “super” and 2 drinks if she says “super super”
1 drink every time Racheal Ray tells the story about how her in-laws like garlic flavor but don’t like big pieces of garlic
1 drink every time an Iron Chef America judge gives a ridiculously long and detailed opinion of what they just ate
1 drink every time Tyler Florence says “absolutely delicious” or “absolutely beautiful” (this one could easily be a drinking game in it’s own)
1 drink each time the Neely’s pronounce it “mah-zuh-rella”
One Bottle of “Very Good Wine” whenever Barefoot Contessa is on.
One Bottle of Home-made Grain Alcohol whenever “Semi-Homemade” is on..just to show Aunt Sandy you CAN do one better than her and make your own booze.
One case of Southern Comfort whenever Paula Deen AND the Neely’s are on.
One Bottle of “Lemoncello”, one bottle of Frangelica and One complete bottle of Ameretto just to get through one more episode of Italian cooking with Giada and her Aunt Rafi.
Three cases of Bud everytime Rachael Ray’s 30 Minute Meals are on. Cheap cookin’ cheaper drinkin’
Two bottles of Irish Wiskey whenever Bobby Flay is on. If you are of Irish decent as I am you will know this is to drown out the misery of looking at his pasty face.
I have to take a couple of asprin now.
La Coquette ~
Your comment on Sandra Lee gave me a terrific idea for a new FN show: Bootlegger Bimbo.
It could showcase Aunt Sandy making all her own hooch. :D
a large swig (of what ever you choose) for every “secret ingredient” that you roll your eyes over cause you have it your fridge (Battle Ground beef or Breakfast Battle, anyone?).
The rest of the bottle for any excessively stupid explanations on what “Iron Chef” or “The Challenger” is doing. (Really? They are deep frying basil? Never would have guessed that after I just watched them drop basil leaves into a deep fryer.)
Ha ha!
Chug a beer every time Ingrid Hoffmann forgets to pronounce the letter H.
Brew a tank of your own moonshine if anyone uses the N word.
This thread actually came to mind last night while I was falling asleep…LOL
1 drink every time a FN host talks about how a certain ingredient adds “Depth of flavor.”
The ONLY and I mean ONLY upshot to Sara Moulton being pushed out of the FN rotation was that I no longer had to hear her use that phrase with such frequency. It was on her show that I first heard it used on tv. Unfortunately, the then-JV team picked it up and has been running with it ever since.
Or “flavor profile”.
Some of these may have already appeared on the list.
1 drink any time RR gesticulates with her hands.
1 drink any time Guy has one of his greasy/oddly monikered sidekicks in the kitchen with him.
1 drink any time Tyler refers to something he made as luscious.
1 drink any time Duff cackles like a loon.
1 drink any time TYLER uses the term money. (He’s done it a time or two.)
1 drink any time Alton’s sister shows up on set.
Adding to the RR rule – finish the bottle if she knocks herself unconscious.
CHOPPED drinking game.
One drink every time Scott Conant says he hates raw onions.
One drink every time Alex Guarnaschelli gives the stink eye.
One drink every time Aaron Sanchez says he “appreciates” something the chef did.
One drink every time Jeffrey Zakarian looks like an uptight a@@hole.
One drink every time a cheftestant says he is better than the others and he will win.
One drink every time a cheftestant forgets an ingredient.
One drink every time a cheftestant sweats in their food.
-1 drink when Ted Allen gets in the cheftestant’s way and asks what they’re doing.
-1 drink when a cheftestant effs up the food “because of the time restraint”.
2 drinks if the cheftestant (I like that word!) cuts themselves
3 drinks if the cheftestant goes on anyway, bleeding into the food, because “they have to get done”, oblivious to the fact that the judges will then refuse to eat their food
3 drinks if any of the cheftestants mention that they have seen the show and that it seems “easy” Oh, really? May I sell you a dictionary?
Also, one drink any time a chef says “So you can control the salt in your recipe.”
Drink every time Giada says, “Just like that.”
Take a drink every time Jeffrey Steingarten starts an argument with someone and another one when someone puts him in his place.
Take two drinks every time Alex Guarnaschelli mentions arugula.
Take a drink every time someone makes an exaggerated expression on “The Best Thing I Ever Ate”.
Take three drinks every time a judge on Chopped tries to sound deep.
Take a drink and a sip every time one of the Neely’s says something that could be responded to with “That’s what she said”.
Take a two drinks every time Geoff from Ace of Cakes fails to express an emotion.
Take a drink every time Alton Brown sucessfully explains something in a way that makes sense.
Take two drinks every time the camera focuses on Giada’s chest.
Take a drink every time an Iron Chef contestant makes something you would never eat in your life.
Take two drinks every time an Iron Chef contestant makes something you actually would eat.
Take a drink if a judge on Food Network Challenge actually says something positive.
Down an entire bottle of vodka if Keri Vincent actually says something positive.
Take a drink every time Guy Fieri says “Funkalicious”
Take a drink every time Guy Fieri slowly pulls a chicken wing away from his mouth after biting it.
Take a drink every time Guy Fieri makes up a word.
Regurgitate 2 drinks worth of vomit if Sandra Lee makes something that doesn’t contain alcohol.
- 2 drinks every time Rachel Ray mentions that she was a fountain girl at “Ho-Jo’s”
- 1 drink anytime she gets a pan “screamin’ hot”
- 2 drinks anytime Ina wants to “turn up the volume” on a dish
- 3 drinks anytime Alton uses a wacky visual aid
-
I’m comment #301 !! A great big Canduce YAY!!!!!!! I’m such a joiner …. lol
From the FNH Forum archives:
Guy: “Winner Winner __________ Dinner,” flip a coin. Heads, you drink; tails; everyone else drinks.
Ace of Cakes: They make a stadium, you pound a beer; they make an animal, you take a shot; they make a cake that looks like food (hamburger, spaghetti, whatever), drink a glass of wine (must pair with the food); they make a Lionel Richie bust, free round.
Chopped: Someone cuts their hand, take a drink. Someone drops food on the floor, take two drinks (you’ll need the alcohol to disinfect).
Chopped: double dip the tasting spoon – the prize? Double shot! (courtesy Byrdie) with my addendum: But your second shot MUST be consumed from the same glass as the first. *snicker*
5 drinks every time Ted Allen tries to be Alton Brown but fails.
Hahahaha, this is one of my favorites! It has been plaguing me for so, so long.
= Good Eats =
- 1 drink every time Alton Brown makes a dorky reference (i.e., Monty Python or the equivalent)
- 2 drinks if someone else has to point it out to you
- 3 drinks if his entire episode is based on said reference (i.e., “Oh My, Meat Pie” episode)
= Semi-Homemade Cooking =
- 1 drink for every mention of Sandra’s tablescape
- 1 drink for every recipe that is way more than just ‘semi-homemade’
- 1 drink for every improbable cocktail she makes (i.e. the “beertini”)
= 30 Minute Meals =
- 1 drink for every story Rachel tells us about her childhood
- 1 shot for every ingredient she carries on her preliminary kitchen run
- A handful of pretzels if she gets through an entire segment without using a made-up word
= Throwdown =
- 1 drink if Bobby Flay completely changes the dish he’s supposed to make
- 1 drink if the contestant beats Bobby Flay
- Chug-a-lug the glass if Bobby Flay wins
= Ace of Cakes =
- 1 drink for every comment about them not finishing on time
- 1 drink for every non-cake segment
- 3 drinks for each time the cake falls apart
= Food Network Competition =
- Chug an entire bottle of vodka and spend the next hour puking instead of watching another Food Network Competition show.
Preach it. FN Competitions are the biggest waste of airtime since…well, most of their other shows, actually.
lmfaoo..these have made me laff
oh, and you’ll be drunk in 5 minutes with the Pauler Deen “ya’ll” game
2 shots each time Ina mentions how great it is to have a food processor.
2 shots each time Ina scolds you about using warm / soft butter incorrectly for the recipe.
1 drink everytime Anthony Bourdain is seen drinking a shitty Heineken.
1 drink every time Cat Cora loses the ICA battle. 2 bonus drinks if she takes a shot once she’s done cooking to show how hardcore she is.
1 drink if the total cost of a Sandra Lee Money-Saving Meal is less than $3.00 per person.
Bonus drink if any ingredient is clearly portioned out before pricing, i.e. $0.30 for a tablespoon of canola oil.
2 bonus drinks if she uses any other oil than canola.
2 bonus drinks if the recipe yields a finished product not worth serving to your dog, let alone your family.
Finish the bottle when Ellie Krieger uses fast food as the basis for a healthy recipe.
Finish the case when the Food Network debuts a new cooking show featuring a hot, young, Latina chef.
Take a drink every time…
- Sandra Lee says “expresso” or “aquorium”
- Rachael Ray says “Drizzle some E-V-O-O”
- Someone says “How fab is that?”
- Someone mentions nutmeg as the ingredient that will make you go “Hmmmm…”
- There’s a shot of Duff Goldman not working on a cake.
- Giada over-enunciates Italian words. Or any word, for that matter.
- There’s a close-up of Giada’s cleavage.
- You see the same episode of “The Best Thing I Ever Ate” being aired more than five times in one week.
1 drink every time there is a close-up of someone washing their hands or there is a reference to the need for hand-washing.
They do that b/c a lot of people complained that no one ever seemed to wash their hands! This is a fun website and all, but FN will NEVER EVER please everyone and even if for some miracle they came fairly close, there will always be nick picking minutiae.
or nit picking minutiae…
Everytime you confuse anne burrell for guy fairy.Every time you confuse anne burrell for guy fairy.
Hello everyone, long time lurker, first time poster! This is so hillarious just had to post.
one drink everytime Gina Neely say “Kay”
as in “We’re gonna put this into a 350 degree oven, kay”
two drinks everytime Aaron MacCargo uses “grapeseed oil”
two drinks everytime Bobby flay uses chilies and honey together in a recipe.
two drinks everytime Ina uses fennel in a recipe.
three drinks if while cutting fennel she explains how it has a licorice or anise taste.
four drinks if she explains that she does not like the taste of raw fennel but takes a nibble anyway and makes that funny face!
1 drink after every time Rachael Ray says, ” Delicous”!!
1 drink after every time Jeena makes a lil dance.
2 drinks when Iron Chef Chairman makes a stupid face!! lmaoooo
luv u guyz
Lol, this is one of the funniest posts yet…love Tarsha’s comment about Ina and the fennel, so true! I have one more to add:
one shot of Sambucca every time a Chopped Cheftestant’s food sticks to the grill pan
1 drink after Rachael say’s her nose know’s when her nuts are done.
1 drink when she mentions her grandpa Emmanuel, his garden, or his use of greens and nutmeg.
2 shots when she say’s “hello mr. honey bear” when she reaches for the honey.
2 shots when she say’s “into the hot tub” to her food.
1 drink when she say’s “You won’t get this out of a box, (or takeout) followed by “uh-uh.”
1 drink when she say’s to “salt the pasta water because it’s the only chance you have to salt the pasta itself.”
1 drink every time Alton interrupts Kevin on ICA.
1. One drink – When Sunny Anderson says “good to go”
2. One drink – When Ina cackles\laughs at nothing funny
3. Two drinks – When Melissa D’Arabian’s big horse teeth are so big she can’t close her mouth when she smiles
4. One drink – When “Big Head” (aka Giada) mangles any Italian word by over enunciating (i.e. PanCheetah)
5. Twelve drinks – When you catch Ina in the ever elusive and infrequently seen episode where she’s in the bath tub (does anyone else remember this??)
6. Suck down the whole bottle when Ina chases her jogging “friend” down the street on her one and only “healthy” day
7. Two drinks when some wall flower looks at Danny Boome with lust in her eyes
8. Down a sixer whenever Ina is having a beach party (and thankfully we don’t get to see her in her bikini)
ROTFLMAO
Haha! Also, go ahead an finish the whole case if there is a violent storm brewing off the coast during Ina’s beach party.
Another couple of drinks for any of Ina’s outdoor parties where the temperature clearly is below 50 (based on the jackets everyone’s wearing), the wind is howling and her guests’ teeth are chattering.
Yes, I remember Ina in the bathtub! She was relaxing in a bubble bath, and her feet were sticking out the end, her toenails painted red. They never show that episode anymore, lol.
1 drink any time Tyler uses the word “fold” incorrectly, as in “fold the meat back into the pot.”
Most of the FN programming is well worth my while, but if I hear Rachael Ray say AWESOME one more time I will croak. 2ndly, the whooping and hollering and dancing around by the Memphis queen is disgusting and her husband’s “y’all” in EVERY sentence. There, I’ve said it.
Shit. You could have a whole Rachael Ray drinking game.
1 drink every time she says:
“spoonula”
“spicy arugula” or “peppery arugula”
“smoky cumin” or “smoky paprika”
“sammie”
“stoup”
“joy of the mountain”
“hello mr. bear”
“heads up kids”
“everyone in the hot tub” or “everyone in the pool”
“get a pasta facial”
“EVOO”
“S&P”
“I’m not a chef, I’m a cook”
“delish!”
and so on…
And let’s not forget when she mentions being a counter girl at Ho Jo!
1 drink every time Tyler Florence says:
“boom”
“all right” (test it sometime, he says it 100x per episode)
“light as a cloud”
1 drink every time Guy Fieri says tender
2 drinks every time Guy Fieri pokes the food when it comes out of the oven/pan/smoker
- bonus drink if he talks about bark or crust
4 drinks when Guy pokes a huge container of somebody ELSE’S food (i.e., on DDD) when it comes out of the oven/pan/smoker/whatever. Way to go, Guy, so the restaurant can’t serve any of it to the patrons without violating health codes.
2 drinks if Bobby Flay is using peppers in any of his recipes
1 drink every time Beau leaves the “R” of the end of his words.
2 drinks every time Rachael decides to abreviate something.
And moving outside the FN realm.
3 drinks every time Tony Bourdain flashes his Chase Saphire card.
1 Drink every time Paula says “Daday”
OOOH!!! Totally forgot one!! I don’t think this has been mentioned yet.
1 drink any time one of the hosts is filled using a filtered camera lens! (I’m looking at you Ms. Lee and Mrs. D’Arabian.
FILMED… typo.
Buy a brewery any time Ina is not wearing a collared button-up shirt.
Feel free to drink yourself stupid everytime she wears high water pants and ugly shoes. Ditto when her friends wear sweaters tied around their shoulders.
ITA on the friends wearing sweaters tied around their shoulders! I realize some of Ina’s episodes are a few years old, but didn’t that particular fashion go out of style in the 1980s?
1 drink every time Tyler Florence says “Fantastic”
1 drink every time Giada De Laurentiis says “Just like that”
1 drink every time a Food network chef smashes a clove of garlic with the side of their knife.
1 drink every time you see the black chef throw down his towel in anger at the end of the “Chopped” commercial.
1 drink every time you see the 5 Ingredient Fix commercial. 2 if it’s the long version.
1 drink if the Food Network plays the “Ninja” Infomercial.
1 drink every time you see a Viva by Kleenex commercial featuring Sunny Anderson.
1 drink every time you see the “Best I Ever Ate” commercial.
There’s so many more but we don’t want death by alcohol poisoning, now do we?
This game has been the most fun ever-I don’t want it to end!
1 Drink every time Ina comes across as a pretentious douche bag.
1 Drink every time Guy Fierri looks and sounds like a douche bag
1 Drink every time you question whether Rachael Ray people actually knows what she is doing.
1 Drink every time you question Sandra Lee’s sanity.
1 Drink every time you get dizzy watching 12-half-second-close-up shots of Giada cutting and putting something in the pan.
1 Drink every time you wonder why they haven’t just put Alton Brown on 24/7 yet.
1 Drink every time you feel like you need to be smoking the same thing as Guy Fierri to find his show amusing.
1 Drink every time you think that Rachael Ray must be smoking the same thing as Guy Fierri.
1 Drink every time you question how Ina Garten’s marriage really works.
1 Drink every time you feel bad for Ina because she wishes she was a gay man.
1 Drink every time you find one of Ina’s recipes on the back of a Hershey’s bag.
1 Drink for every time you throw up a little in your mouth when ANY of these shows are on.
1 Drink for every time you wonder who’s heart is going to give out first: Paula Deen’s or Dick Cheney’s.
1 Drink every time Ina assumes that everybody has as much money as her.
1 Drink every time you think the Neely’s thought they were signing up for a porno when they made a contract with food network.
#3 Typo: 1 Drink every time you question whether Rachael Ray * actually knows what she is doing.
So right about the close-up shots. I hate the quick-cut, XTREME shots where the cameraman has his freaking lens damn near touching the food, then the editor has ADD and can’t pick one shot to stick with, so they blast through them all.
Giada’s shows are the worst and it’s an annoying trend you see with many others.
- 2 drinks everytime Anne Burell says ‘homogeneous mixture’
-1 drink everytime Anne Burell says the phrase ‘beautiful things are happening here!
Or, how ’bout when she informs us that the garlic is “off to its garlic destiny”.
how about a drink for “Brown food tastes good”
-3 drinks every time Rachel tells us the story of how she had this one item this one time and she thought ”I can make this at home!”
-1 drink every time you wonder if Paula Deen and her sons are more than just mother and son. You all know what I’m talkin’ about.
-1 drink every time you wonder if Sunny Anderson has her own show anymore of if she just does paper towel commercials.
-1 drink every time you realize you know the recipes for basil oil or double fried french fries by heart because of Sunny’s commercials.
-1 drink every time Bobby Flay just throws whatever he wants into a recipe on Boy Meets Grill without measuring it and spilling a little bit of it all over his cutting board.
-3 drinks every time Guy squats to take a bite of some food.
-1 drink every time Rachel Ray STOPS using her hands and/or whole body to talk and explain everything (you’ll never get a drink in with this rule).
-1 drink every time Rachel Ray says ”YUMMO!”
-1 drink for each time Sandra Lee says any of the following: ”darling, cute little, adorable, cheap cheap cheap, from the fabric store, cocktail time, or kid friendly (during or related to cocktail time).
Right on with your second point, Tyler. Paula did a recent show with her eldest son, Jamie (the married one), and she swatted him on the ass, talked about “rubbing your meat” (as they both massaged a rub into some meat), and to top it all off, made flesh-colored popsicles that were about the same shape and size as … well, take a guess. Then the camera panned in on both of them sucking these popsicles. ‘Nuff said. I nearly threw up.
Oh C’mon now! That was just puttin’ a little “south in your mouth” (total snark) :)
4 drinks every time Giada is teleporting on her show as a result of stupid camera work.
1 drink for each Chopped chef that’s sweating profusely and a bonus drink for every drop that lands in the food.
Here’s some more for Chopped:
1 drink every time Chef Alex angrily tells a contestant to stop interrupting her.
2 drinks every time Chef Alex looks furious at the contestants while she tells them how much she enjoyed their food.
4 drinks every time a judge lectures a contestant about a food rule (no cheese and fish, no raw onions, etc.) after making them cook a meal with some kind of unholy combination of things like sardines, chocolate and habanero peppers.
Just chug the whole bottle down when you start to think about actually eating a sardine, chocolate and habanero pepper appetizer.
3 drinks when an ingredient is something you’ve never heard of before
4 drinks when the chef has never heard of it before, either
I actually play an easy drinking game to triple D…
Every time Guy takes a bit of food you drink!
Take a shot if Tyler Florence mentions his recipe is the “Ultimate” anything….”You are going to LOVE my ultimate________.”
Take a shot whenever Alton Brown mentions that an ingredient “brings a lot of flavor to the party.”
Take a shot if a puppet or kids toy appears on “Good Eats.”
Dear Food Network,
One……Tequilla
Two……Tequilla
Three….Tequilla……
Now my friends have to hear me calling dragons on the floor!
Drink half a bottle if the recipes are not posted yet on the Food Network website for the first airing of any new episode of any show.
Actually, you might want to reduce that to a shot or two, since I swear this happens most of the time these days.
Aww, someone already beat me to “my nephew Bricer.” :(
How about: Drink every time Alton tells you to “wash those (fill in food here)-y hands”? Example: “Wash those chickeny hands!”
Drink every time Alton points out that the only unitasker you should have in your kitchen is a fire extinguisher. Five drinks if he uses it.
As far as Ace of Cakes, drink every time Anna whines about having to do something. Guaranteed you’ll be drunk before episode’s end.
Rum punch every time Gina says “shramp”.
Tequila shot and a beer when Giada serves Todd food that real men eat…guess you’ll be thirsty.
Any drink every time Sunny actually stops talking.Guaranteed to keep you sober.
Unwrapped? Just keep drinking.If you’re lucky,you’ll eventually pass out.
1 Drink every time Paula Deen pronounces “oil” as “awll”.
- 1 drink every time Ina asks a rhetorical question
I’m late to the game, but I’ll throw a few in here anyway:
- 1 drink when Fieri visibly dislikes something he just took a huge bite of on DDD
- 1 drink if Fieri refers to his show as “Triple-D”
- 2 drinks if Giada wears a high-necked top (4 drinks if the tragedy of this is just too much to bear)
- 1 drink if the “Chopped” judges favor a chef who didn’t finish their dish on time or failed to include one of the required ingredients, over those who actually worked within the rules of the show
- 3 drinks if that chef ends up winning
- 1 drink if Robert Irvine blames the local help for putting his mission in danger
- 1 drink if The Chairman doesn’t make a pun on the heritage/background of the challenger (i.e. “You hail from the wintry country of Sweden…but will your icy resolve be melted by the heat of Kitchen Stadium?!?!”)
- 1 drink if Flay adds corn to a dish and calls it “Corn (ordinary dish name)”
1 drink for every time Alton Brown’s microphone picks up his nose whistling.
” -1 drink every time Sandra Lee takes a drink ”
ROFL !!!!!!!
One drink every time Sandra Lee says “Pop”. She says it at least a dozen times every show, so plan on being sloshed.
Better late that never –
Alton Brown on Good Eats:
1 drink every time he says “kosher salt”
1 drink every time he whips that nutmeg out of his pocket and proceeds to tell you that’s where he keeps it.
1 drink every time a puppet is used in a demonstration.
bonus drink if there is bonus styrofoam shapes.
Giada:
1 drink every time she says “pancetta” in her Italian voice.
1 drink every time she sniffs an ingredient before putting it in the dish.
1 drink if the camera angles to a boob shot.
1 drink everytime Anne Burell says “Soooooooo” at the start of a sentence
Drink when Sandra says “NICE, aaand TTHHIICK, aaand RICH.” She says that all the time and always in that order, and very often she isn’t making foods that can be described by any of those words.
for chopped:
-drink if one contestant is a vegetarian or has a food allergy and can’t taste one ingredient.
-drink if one contestant has a kid that who they want to be proud of their mother/father if the mother/father wins.
-drink if, while one contestant hates an ingredient, another rejoices that the ingredient is in the basket (the episode that had ox tongue in the appetizer basket, for example).
-drink if one judge thinks the meats overdone/underdone, and another thinks its cooked perfectly.
-drink if the judges can’t find an ingredient in the contestant’s dish.
-drink if a contestant over/underseasons a piece of meat. finish the drink if one judge hates it, and one judge eats all of it.