Things We Hate »

It’s Official: Anthony Bourdain Has Lost His Fucking Mind
Posted by Jillian Madison

If blatantly shilling for the Chase Sapphire card on a recent episode of No Reservations wasn’t enough to strip Anthony Bourdain of his “culinary bad boy” status, I submit this to you: a preview video of him awkwardly butchering scripted lines as “Doctor Tony” in an upcoming appearance on a Nickelodeon show called Yo Gabba Gabba:

“Your temperature is pretty high, Tooti! It looks like you’ve gotten food poisoning from one of Rachael Ray’s recipes!” Poor thing.

You can watch all of the coolness being stripped from Dr. Tony on Yo Gabba Gabba March 10th on Nickelodeon.



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Anthony Bourdain Sold Out To Chase Sapphire Card On “No Reservations”
---Anthony Bourdain Wants To Get Drunk With Rachael Ray
---Food Network Anthony Bourdain-isms
---Anthony Bourdain Blogs About Run-In With Sandra Lee
---Sandra Lee Tells Anthony Bourdain To “Have Cocktail And Lighten Up”

    93 Responses

  1. leash says:

    Oh, man, it’s a confluence of all sorts of scariness….trippy children’s show characters, techno music and a cadaverous, chain-smoking old chef with a bag of offal. I see therapy in the future of many a child subjected to this terror.

    • John Smith says:

      To be fair to Tony he has a 4 year old kid and if you read his recent book he makes it VERY clear that you cannot be cool once you have a Kid particularly a girl.

      Think about it his daughter is 4 and this might be her favourite show. We might not think it’s cool but I bet his daughter thinks he is frigging awesome and as any parent knows that is ALL that counts.

      Tony earnt his right to do this stuff, any of you try 28 years in a kitchen ?

      • Tiger says:

        From what I understand it is his kid’s favorite show. He talks about it on his blog. I’ve read every non fiction piece he’s ever done and I never thought of him as a bad buy, exactly. He’s just like a lot of cooks I’ve met, just now he’s aged in to some humility.

      • rico mango says:

        Great point

        Little surprised myself, but knowing he has a 4 y.o daughter cleared it all up.

        How do I get on gabba gabba?

  2. Motzi Greps says:

    Wow, all that’s missing for “Bore”dain is a face plant. What’s up with him lately? It seems as though some level of money-making desperation has set in. He’s never really approached anything stellar or senith-like as a celebrity chef and now he seems to be cashing in on any tripe that lands on his doorstep. What’s next? A game show? :P

    • nkirschner says:

      I almost died laughing when I watched this. It’s really sad whats happened to him, I mean he doesn’t have to be an asshat, but THIS is not aging gracefully. After the Chase Saphire card commerical and now this, I’m just bracing myself for the Bertolli add. He reminds me of Troy McClure.

  3. Aaron Traas says:

    He must be really broke or something… This is frightening.

  4. YouKnow WhoIam says:

    I’m not sure if he’s back on drugs again, or if I need to be after watching that clip. Holy shit.

  5. Dave says:

    Thank you, FNH, for being the only honest voice in food blogging. Every website kisses this man’s ass and I don’t know why. His appearance on this show is pretty laughable.

    • Rosa says:

      Amen! I hope he’s lost all his heroin-chic, fake-edgy street cred among foodies after this. But probably I’m wrong.

    • derek4me says:

      i don’t see what is so edgy about him…….he goes to distant lands and eat food big deal….and as for the culinary bad boy thing…..that is like being the bad boy of eating ice cream.—not that bad.

  6. Eyeris says:

    All the coolness was stripped from Bore-dain for me months ago!!! This video is the icing on the cake. Although that damn song is going to be in my head for hours, I just know it.

  7. Epic says:

    That black guy in the orange suit looked like an anorexic Samuel L Jackson.

  8. Scruffy says:

    I’d like to invoke a kid’s show exemption.

    Plus, Bourdain was stripped of any coolness the second he insisted on wearing an earring past the age of 30 without recording a rock album.

  9. Syd says:

    Looks like he might be back on the drugs.

  10. Gypsy says:

    OK, in his defense…when Yo Gabba Gabba premiered, it puzzled and creeped out all of us moms, but it does have some redeeming qualities. It has Mark Mothersbaugh (former Devo lead singer) in it! And it has DJ Lance! (Guy in orange suit and fuzzy hat…He grows on you, trust me, lol…)

    I wonder if Bourdain is doing a kids’ show because he has a little girl now? He did deliver the lines stiffly…didn’t seem quite comfortable doing it…Seems a bit out of his element.

    • Sara says:

      That IS why most of the cameos do walk-ons on kids’ shows. You’d be surprised who you see on Sesame Street, Imagination Movers, and yes, Yo Gabba Gabba. I hear Weird Al Yankovic is going on the show later that week.

    • Heather says:

      I agree, Yo Gabba Gabba has had tons of big names on there: Jack Black, Elijah Wood, Tony Hawk, The Ting Tings, Amy Sedaris, the list goes on….it is a weird show, but it is fun and it beats the heck out of what some call children’s programming in this day and age.

      I didn’t mind the clip so much thought it was funny given the show is a bit silly and meant to be fun. I have never been a big fan of Bourdain, but this didn’t bother me in the least given the other big names and what they have done on there–Elijah Wood and the Puppet Master dance–Yikes!

      To each their own!

      • Sara says:

        Did you see Jack Black and Don’t Bite Your Friends?

      • Motzi Greps says:

        Forgive me, but if Jack Black, Elijah Wood, Tony Hawk, The Ting Tings, and Amy Sedaris are cool stars–then, I must be smoking the crack pipe along with Tony baby here. Ummm, CAREER FAIL Alert, Anthony!

      • Sara says:

        How about Neil Patrick Harris? U2? Michelle Obama? They were on Sesame Street. Those aren’t the only ones, either, just the ones I can think of without my coffee.

      • nkirschner says:

        Yeah, but that was Sesame Street, not Yo Gabba Gabba. I like Sesame Street. I could respect a Sesame Street Cameo from most, but not Bourdain.

      • Sara says:

        Give it time–Sesame Street has been on the air for 30 years, after all. Yo Gabba Gabba just started last year. Most stars who don’t have small children don’t even know about it.

      • Dank Dillweed says:

        Yeah, I seen Jack Black and the little guy from the Smokey and the Bandit movies on here. Not to mention, Hyundai has a
        Yo Gabba Gabba” commercial that’s stuck in my head right now. “HOW YA LIKE ME NOW, HOW YA LIKE ME NOW….!”

    • Nick says:

      I don’t think that a walk-on for a kids’ show on Nick Jr is a big money-maker. I’m sure his appearance is all about being a cool dad for his young daughter. As a dad of 3-year old twins I can tell you it would make me a hero at home.

  11. nkirschner says:

    I’m sorry, why would you put Anthony Bourdain on a kids show? I would put Heidi Montag on a childrens program before Bore-dain. If he can go an episode of No Reservations without cursing, getting drunk, or majorly insulting someone, maybe it would make sense, but this guy doesn’t build his career around acting, just around being rude and shoving his face. After that credit card thing, I can’t say I didn’t see something like this coming.

    • trishatrue says:

      These shows must think getting a ‘star’ will generate parental interest. In my experience however, the half hour my kids were mesmerized by the Teletubbies was a gift I wouldn’t have squandered waching anyone. The resurrected Princess Di could have shown up carrying Tinky Winky’s purple purse and I would have cared less.

  12. Lynxie says:

    I am too afraid to click on play

  13. sarah says:

    oh that was terrible….my poor ears. i feel so bad for parents who have to watch that kind of crap with their kids

    • Sara says:

      Don’t feel too bad for us. We like to complain, but most of us have developed the art of tuning out what we don’t like and a lot of shows follow the Sesame Street model–they throw in jokes that the tykes don’t even notice but that make the parents snicker.

  14. Motzi Greps says:

    Shark officially jumped. R.I.P. Tony. We hardly knew ye.

  15. chefcatt says:

    I have to admit. That clip just made me like him more.
    I can see him jumping on that with the DEVO affiliation, but even more so to be on a show his kid could watch.

    now, the fact that rachael ray has his blog on a list of “sites we like” now THAT is disturbing.

  16. Diane says:

    Perhaps ‘Dr. Tony’ should have talked about how to rid yourself of parasites from eating grotesque crap on one’s food show. Just a thought.

  17. Mort says:

    Ah shit, cut him some slack. Yes, I like the old Tony better and dislike his credit card endorsement. I also liked the old Stones better too before they sold out. But I understand that all my heroes can’t be perfect.

    This video is funny because all I see is one big drug reference. Back in the day, the ‘doctor’ was the drug dealer so maybe Tony could relate to it.

    Can’t wait for his new book in June: Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook

  18. Di says:

    Well Tony’s daughter will probably enjoy it, even if no one else does ;)
    It’s kind of funny, in bizarre way. He’s kind of passing through this transition phase from bad boy to grumpy old man.
    Oh well, inevitable, I suppose . . .

  19. cloverleaf says:

    I think the new wife and their adorable daughter have something to do with this new “role” and his need for more financial security.

    Still can’t get over the Sapphire card shock, though. :(

  20. boke1 says:

    I watched a few minutes of No Reservations today because for once he wasn’t somewhere in dirt poor locale eating eyeballs but in Manhattan at a very old French restaurant. He was sitting with an older gentleman who may have been the manager or something, I don’t know. What I DO know is that Tony was sucking up to this guy so bad it was painful to watch. Effusively raving about every single thing he ate and how “no one does this anymore!! this is the only place around where you can get this!!!!” Jeez. I don’t have kids so I’ve never seen Yo Gabba Gabba but it seems like they get cool guest stars! That must be nice for the parents who are watching.

  21. Tallman says:

    Maybe….Just maybe…..he wanted to do something for his young daughter?????

  22. WhatMeWorry says:

    He did post a blog entry last August that I can completely relate to, being a parent myself :

    http://anthony-bourdain-blog.travelchannel.com/read/for-parents-only

    If I had a chance to be on one of my daughter’s favorite shows… yeah. In a heartbeat.

    • Jason says:

      Exactly. I think it was a great present to his daughter. Shilling for Chase is way worse than this

    • msix says:

      I agree, I kind of like that the “bad boy” has turned into such a softie for his daughter. the whole attitiude/pushing boundries/drugs/swearing thing that Tony does is part of who he is, but so is being a good father. Who says you cant be a so called “bad boy” and still love your little girl enough to make a fool of yourself just to make her happy?

  23. Alex says:

    Why must chidlrens’ entertainment shows set the bar for educational value so damn low? I cannot imagine any youth gleaning any useful knowledge whatsoever from this crap. Aside from that, Tony thinks he’s built his bad-boy image high enough that anything like this will be accepted… Um, no. By the way, he looks like a haggardly old lesbian doctor I once knew.

    • BOO says:

      Hey Alex… Want my doc’s #? He’s a hottie!

    • Sara says:

      Trust me, the kids who are watching this stuff NEED to learn things like don’t be scared to visit the doctor, don’t bite your friends (or anybody else, for that matter), eat new foods, always be alert to your surroundings, etc. Yes, I know what you’re thinking–their parents DO teach them this stuff but they frequently don’t listen. They say it takes 21 days for a behavior to become a habit, and often children don’t practice a new behavior for 21 days consistently. Plus, in the words of my 7-year-old, “you’re boring.” The new person on Yo Gabba Gabba or Sesame Street isn’t. And as long as Olivia eats her peas or remembers to ask the the dog’s owner if the dog is friendly BEFORE she approaches to pet, I don’t really care who she’s listening to.

      • Alex says:

        All I mean is, why can’t they wrap all of that up in a more intelligent package?

      • Sara says:

        Because then the kids wouldn’t watch it. The sad truth is that they’re really not that complicated. My kids didn’t like Sesame Street until they were about 4 1/2, because they said it was “too confusing”. Now their brains have developed a little more and they like it. I read to them daily from birth and now they read far above their age level, but their brains still have to develop.

  24. Trini says:

    That orange spiky cyclops looks like a reeeaaally freaky sex toy! Ouch!

  25. castle4mom says:

    Anthony Bourdain on Yo Gabba Gabba?!?!? Seriously! I know these are some seriously hard economic times, but come on….

  26. Jp says:

    Everyone is dissing this…but this made me the happiest person alive.
    I love Tony.
    I love Yo Gabba Gabba! (despite the fact that I’m 18 and should be watching other things…)
    Therefore this is pure awesomesauce!

    I love how Yo Gabba Gabba! has the most random people you’d never expect on here…and the musicians they have on here? AMAZING! I swear, if I had a dad and he went on this (or any other favorite show of mine) I would be the happiest daughter ever. I think it’s adorable. It makes me even more of a fan to learn that he actually likes the show and knows every song by heart. I don’t are what everyone else says…this makes me think more highly of Tony. Doesn’t make him any less awesome. :D

  27. Jason Reichert says:

    I’m going to give Tony a pass here and venture he lost a bet with Andrew Zimmern.

  28. WalterSobchak says:

    It’s actually quite hip and trendy in H’Wood to go on Gabba Gabba but I still prefer the Ramones Gabba Gabba Hey!

  29. Oh my.... says:

    OK, I may, *may* actually give him this one, since he’s said on his blog for Travel Channel that his daughter loves Yo Gabba Gabba. So, I can sort of see how he rationalized it….

    What I will not, however, cut him ANY slack for is his patently and transparently @ss-kissing, suck-up appearance on MARTHA-FREAKIN’-STEWART’S show last week, with Eric Rippert (whom I also used to love) shamelessly shilling for their limited time gig on Martha’s Sirrius radio channel.

    It was tragic, it was blatent, it was nauseating, and it was clear to me, no matter how much it saddens me to say it, that he’s become what he fought so vocally against. He’s a sell-out shill.

    Sorry AB, used to love ya. Now, so over ya.

    • Julia says:

      Oh, now you’ve hurt Alton’s feelings. Hope he reads the whole entry so he doesn’t think you mean him. I always loved watching Tony on A Cook’s Tour(yes I know I’m old)and also like most of No Reservations. I do hate he’s following the $$ but who isn’t these days?

  30. Betty Crocker says:

    Fatherhood has killed the old Tony. Some will love the new Tony, I’m sure, but not me.

  31. JaySticLe says:

    I love this. Especially the Rachael Ray burn. Gonna watch for sure.

    …yes, I’m a bit of a fan of trippy shows like this. What?

  32. Deanna says:

    Yo Gabba Gabba is the coolest show on TV. Don’t judge unless you’ve watched!

    • Toolshed says:

      It is! Plus he has a young daughter so of course he’s gonna do that.

      R.E.M. was on Sesame Street a few years ago singing “Furry, Happy Monsters” with a muppet version of Kate Pierson in tow. Common now.

      • Again, I’m not commenting on Yo Gabba Gabba’s entertainment value as a kids show. I’m saying BAD BOYS DON’T DO KIDS TV SHOWS.

        REM is a cool band, but they’re definitely not “bad boys” so I’m not sure what they have to do with anything?

      • Toolshed says:

        I never thought of Bourdain as “bad boy” so much as he just did his own thing — never conformed to that happy, smiling, peppy TV cooking personality. Just “real”.

        R.E.M. is the same way. Non-comforming rock band. They refuse to play Shiny Happy People for their paying audiences in concert but they played it surrounded by Muppets.

      • Sara says:

        I LOVED “Furry, Happy Monsters”; stop and watch it every time there’s a rerun. Yeah, I know, I’m an adult, and that’s sad; but hey, in a world of “Dora the Explorer” and “Ni Hao Kai-Lan”, you take what you can.

  33. ALICIA says:

    I really enjoy this site, but I think you have to give Tony some slack here. I love Yo Gabba Gabba because it doesn’t patronize kids and sometimes the parents can get a laugh too.
    So if Tony wants to please his kid he could do a lot worse than going on Yo Gabba Gabba.

    • Toolshed says:

      you’re right

    • It’s got nothing to do with “pleasing his kid.” It has to do with the reputation he has in the world of food. First he sold out to Chase. Then he kissed Martha Stewart’s ass. Now he’s on a children’s show? Please. He’s not the guy he once was. AND THAT’S FINE. But he’s no longer a freakin’ BAD BOY.

      • TS says:

        bad boys can’t do things for their children? or for money?

      • JuicyJ says:

        Things we hate is a horrible category for this. It should be Things that are awesome. Who cares if he’s a bad boy or not. it’s the travel channel painting him as that, not tony himself.

      • Epic says:

        Stop drinking the Kool-Aid, juicyJ. Go blow Bourdain on your own time.

      • JuicyJ says:

        I’m blowing the show, not tony. the show totally deserves a blowing. get it right. no reservations isn’t worth watching anymore.

      • Nikki says:

        Maybe he doesn’t personally value his “bad boy” reputation?

        From what I can tell anyway it mostly just means he’s thin, smokes a ton of cigarettes and occasionally swears.

  34. Cabrone Joe says:

    So how many of you actually considered him a bad boy?

  35. JuicyJ says:

    You guys all realize that this is one of the most awesome kids shows for cameos? Chromeo and Andrew Bird are my highlights. Also, he did this because his daughter loves the show. I’d be honored to be on there.

  36. Que says:

    The bottom line was watching Chef Tony smile his way through a looong guest spot on Martha Stewart! Apparently he and Eric Ripert are launching a radio show on Martha’s radio network and this was a must-do assignment. Count on Martha to interrupt him, ignore him, ridicule him during the initial interview and then again when the two chefs were preparing coq au vin. Tony, Tony, Tony … a penny for your thoughts during THAT fiasco. You and Martha … even more unthinkable than you and Rachel!

  37. Katie In Atlanta says:

    Awwww.

  38. Jerm says:

    Nah, Yo Gabba Gabba is way too hip even for Bourdain.
    Anything that is the mind child of Aquabats frontman Christian Jacobs, and regulary employs the talents of Devo frontman Mark Mothersbaugh AND instructs kids to mimuc the beats of Biz Marky is cooler than a recovering heroin addict chef who doesn’t even cook any longer.

  39. Jay says:

    I miss eating acid :(

  40. Spatuler says:

    WTF is with all these TV personalities having kids and suddenly having some epiphany that they have to do kids shows? My theory is that their rug rats are watching these shows and now they feel obligated (guilted into) to actually appear in them, especially since they are away on the road 340 days out of the year making millions of dollars. So, they (TV personalities) wield their TV powers and make it happen.

    Poor Tony, I’ve always thought of him as a pseudo-stud.

  41. [...] Network Humor also weighed in on YGG, and the comments were pretty brutal. They’re calling Tony “Bore-dain” over there. [...]

  42. Spot says:

    He’s got a kid now, right? Maybe that’s what this is about.

  43. MorganLF says:

    You guys are brutal but fucking funny, “haggy old lesbian doctor”, “cadaverous, chain smoking old chef”. I like Bourdain but as long as the comments are taut and funny, I’ll laugh.
    Ok he’s goofy over his kid, I kinda like that. Sorry but she’ll remember that all her life. It’s a stellar move for a family guy.

  44. DadMode says:

    I dont know guys, I think by Bourdain being on Yo Gabba Gabba i think it makes him cooler. As a father of 3 young kids that love this show, and a kid of the 80′s myself – I think this show is classic. I would even go so far as to say this show makes him cooler in my eyes.
    Being on Yo Gabba Gabba is like the new cool thing to do. Like when I was a kid, guest starring on Sesame Street got you props – it’s about the same.

    As far as the Chase card fiasco, *that* was lame.

  45. Laura says:

    I think both shows are pure awesomeness. Both my nephew and I enjoy Yo Gabba Gabba, and me and my mother really love Mr Bourdain and his show, No Reservations. I read several months back a blog post about his favorite vs. least favorite kids shows (because he has a daughter) and it is definitely no surprise that he made a guest appearance on Yo Gabba Gabba.

  46. Tony says:

    I’m not bothering to read all the comments because anyone criticizing this is irrelevant and probably wishes they were the “bad boy” that Tony used to be.

    You have to realize that Bourdain is indeed in a different phase of his life, whether or not you agree with the implications. Yes, he was a “bad boy” when he was younger, but he’s older now – and more, he’s older with kids. Of course he’s going to mellow a bit. And like it or not, his kid(s) have got to love that dad is on a tv show they can watch. He’s a dad, he likes being a dad, and he probably likes doing things for his kids.

    Complain all you want about that, but it’s a natural occurrence and he’s going through natural stages. While he obviously does things to get paid (like blatant product drops), he’s still got wit and he can still scathe. He’s just a different Bourdain than you first thought you knew, and you’re the only ones who need to get over that now.

  47. Chef Justin says:

    I like Anthony Bourdain, and I love that he was on this show. I agree its a bit out of his element. My daughter loves this show. Since she could crawl, Yo Gabba Gabba has been her favorite. She learns a lot of great things from here. They have an interesting way of getting stuff through to kids. Plus, they feature greats bands and Mark from Devo teaches kids to draw. They include arts into the show. Food is an art.

    I dressed up as DJ Lance Rock for her first birthday, and she would not leave my side. I scored huge points with her, and as much as I hated that silly costume, it simply was not about me.

    Took balls for him to do this. He is not broke. His books alone will give him a comfortable lifestyle for the rest of his life.

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