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Melissa D’Arabian Loves Brian Boitano’s Pork
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(from People magazine, October 2009)
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Melissa d’Arabian and Brian Boitano like PIGGING OUT ON PORK! (Cue hearty belly laugh from your inner 5 year old.)
Call me crazy, but I have absolutely no interest in finding out how Melissa d’Arabian plans on getting “creative” with Brian Boitano’s “other white meat.” Ewwwww.
In a slightly related story, new episodes of What Would Brian Boitano Make will be starting up next month. Let the fun – and glitter – begin.
(Thanks for the tip, Faron!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---3 Things That Are Guaranteed To Happen On Every Episode Of “What Would Brian Boitano Make”---FNH Review: What Would Brian Boitano Make
---Food Network Takes On South Park
---Ladies And Gentlemen, Melissa d’Arabia
---Melissa d’Arabian On Georgetown University’s Website
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved





























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26 Responses
Errr…were they going for the double entendre or what? Kinda makes me want to puke in my mouth a little bit either way.
People puke In Melissa’s household all the time, her buying all that week old milk for cheap.
When Brian Boitano was in the alps fighting grizzly bears, he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair.
Maybe ‘Brian Boitano and Melissa d’Arabian get creative with the other white meat’ via a three-some with Guy Ferry.
I would Fietty would be MASSIVELY slumming it for Brian…now, Ted Allen…
Oh Mort!!! Damn man, I just had a snack and now you made me think about the horror of Ferry in a sexual situation. Gotta go hurl now…
Forget the pork! I’m more curious about BB’s shirt. Is the dark area on his tee: a) an oil stain while he was tinkering with his car/motorcycle/scooter; b) a perspiration stain on only one side of his body; c) an outline of his right lung; d) a neighbor’s pooch peed on Brian; or e) a map; f) a frozen bacon splatter from Melissa D’???
f)
Don’t know what happened to the a)
It’s splatter from all of the really spicy chicken wings that he ate.
I’ve never seen a man eat so many chicken wings.
I am actually looking forward to Boitano’s show coming back on.
Me too. :) His show was highly entertaining and some of the recipes were excellent.
I was surprised to find myself enjoying Boitano’s cooking show, but I’m looking forward to new episodes, too. The foods that he prepared looked incredibly tasty. In the wake of Evan Lysacek’s Gold Medal performance last week, BB’s new season should be very popular.
Brian Boitano and that loin of pork… Hm… They remind me of a certain scene in Me, Myself, and Irene. This one to be exact: http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/152884/Me-Myself-And-Irene-Dildo-Scene.html?rh=188739
At 0:20, you can see a portrait of Michael Groover. By the way, I think Renee Zellweger looks like an Opossum.
This is made all of the worse by Brian’s “Offering” posture in the picture.
I can’t wait for Melissa’s “Be sure that your tablescape covers the entire table, so no one will know you’re down there” Pro-tip.
I thought A’Rabian’s 15 minutes of fame were up 5 minutes after they started. Wait till Aunt sandy hears PORK.
LOL @ outline of his right lung.
They need a show named what wouldn’t (insert sloppy excuse for a chef’s name here) make.
Then they can feature the greatest recipe foul-ups of all time. Like Pauler’s han and banana casserole. That’s a recipe for staving of the munchies after a little grass if I ever saw one.
THAT would be a show well worth watching, R.U. Heaven knows we’ve gotten enough lame-ass recipes over the years to at least have six seasons.
Who gives a $%^% what Brian Boitano would do ?
Everyone, of course.
Melissa D’Arabian getting any play in any magazine outside of FN’s rag is amazing. Her recipes are hideous. This recipe when first presented contained 2 TABLESPOONS of salt, and despite being completely inedible, garnered rave reviews (from FN’s bloggers I suspect) which looked quite odd next to real reviews slamming her on the salt, the nasty taste of too much cinnamon, ginger or onion and that it took way longer to cook than she noted. The recipe has since been amended, but the fact remains that she can hardly be considered an ‘authority’ in the kitchen.
If loving Brian Boitano is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
You can love him all you want, but I doubt he’d notice.
Of course he would not notice.
He’s too busy fighting Kubla Khan.
“What would Brian Boitano do?” Sorry, now I have that song from South Park stuck in my head.
I don’t know…that title COULD possibly be misinterpreted. :D
That song is fantastic.