General: Food Network »
Remind Me To Never Go To A Super Bowl Party At Melissa D’Arabian’s House
Published on: February 1, 2010 – 9:10 am by Jillian Madison 
Comment
The Super Bowl is one week away! Time for chicken wings! Time for chili! And if you’re at Melissa d’Arabian’s house, time for… hearty black bean hummus and tapenade with tuna!
Food Network’s featured some pretty nasty sports-themed recipes in the past (Baked Bologna, anyone?), but perhaps none of them have been as vile as the crap Melissa d’Arabian prepared on yesterday’s Football Fiesta episode of Ten Dollar Dinners. Not only were her recipes un-SuperBowl-ish, but they looked completely revolting as well:
By the looks of it, even SHE couldn’t stand the shit she just made.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Screw that. Sorry, Melissa. Remind me to score an invite to Paula Deen’s house next year.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Possible Rapper Names For Melissa D’Arabian---FNH Review: $10 Dinners With Melissa D’Arabian
---Super Bowl Commercials You Might Have Missed
---Next Food Network Star Winner: Melissa D’Arabian
---Twitter Conversations: Melissa D’Arabian’s $10 Dinners
1 Trackback(s)
- Apr 1, 2010: Scripps Networks Acquires Food Network Humor! « Food Network Humor
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
Saw it! If she served me that shit, I’d leave.
Don’t forget you get to all split a beer mixed with lemonade to wash it all down. My husband would kill me if I served this menu to his friends.
I saw it too. The whole thing was a big miss. It was more Museum Opening than Super Bowl.
Also, my DVR said she was supposed to be making popcorn. I saw no popcorn!
Let’s guess, the season popcorn was air popped (cheapest way) sprinkled with “smoky” cumin and she would have told am adorable story how she lets her little girls shake it up in a paper bag
Can this possibly be theeee Gayle King, Oprah’s side kick??? Lets give the girl a break…Nobody’s perfect and I’am sure there are one’s worse than her..
The woman can’t even make a quesadilla. And she’s on Food Network……… why???
I know, that is the saddest quesadilla ever.
Seriously Missy, couldn’t you just re-make a quesadilla, it costs maybe 45 cents. In reality, that was probably the last tortilla, all the other ones probably looked/were worse.
Her quesadillas are really “faux pizza”.
Black bean “hummus” is the most disgusting recipe ever. She’s so frantic on camera there is no way I can watch her.
While the black bean hummus was gross looking and had no relevance at all to a Super Bowl appetizer, I actually hoped it would look more gross – sorta like “fecal occult matter”; such disappointment.
And, what was the difference between it and refried beans out of a can?
Now, not that it’s to my taste because I don’t care for Blue/Bleu Cheese and/or gorgonzola – I found a recipe for “Angel of Death Cheese Spread”
Horrible on camera. She is un-watchable.
That guy she lost to would have been MUCH better. He seemed more likable, too.
She reminds me of an irritating neighbor that would bitch if a leaf fell into her yard or something.
I also have a feeling she’s an ice queen, but that’s just a guess.
Good Guess!
I liked the harisa guy better too!
Is she pregnant or what? She didn’t even take a sip of her nasty watered down beer.
Who the hell puts beer and lemonade over a gugantic fucking cup of ice?
’bout 20 years ago, my party friends and I used to put equal parts beer, frozen lemonade concentrate and vodka into a blender with ice, whir, and suck those puppies down on hot summer nights. They go down pretty easy. Just sayin’.
:-D
Sounds like a variation of “Skip and Go Naked Punch” from the 1970s
Yes’m! It’s called Summer Beer, and my fellow college students and I have it instead of air conditioning in the summer. It’s cheap, tasty, and can only be made with Crystal Light. Of course, we’re not on the Food Network either.
a “shandy” beer, originating from Germany, is essentially beer and lemonade…though i wouldn’t put it over ice.
IF it’s available near you, try Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy for how a shandy is supposed to taste. it’s a little more tart than most, but still good.
WHY? Why is Mommy D’earest even on tv?
Why, God, why………
I missed that. Thank GOD.
I’m with NEO. I’d leave too.
I didn’t see the episode, but those pics of the food are just nasty. Why mess with trying new funky recipes? The classics are what people want for something like a Super Bowl party. Duh.
I expected more of Melissa. That stuff looks absolutely horrible. In case you missed it, one of our favorite FN personalities, Bobby Fwaay, is the new monthly food columnist for Parade magazine in the Sunday newspaper. He likes to choose a “theme” for his Super Bowl parties “so the flavors don’t compete against one another.” This year, since the SB is in Miami, he chose a Cuban menu of Cuban Sandwich Crostini, Adobo-Seasoned Baked Chicken Wings, and Hot Cumin-Scented Potato Chips with Blue-Cheese Sauce. A bit contrived, but at least sandwiches, chicken wings, and potato chips are on the menu. Beats the heck out of Melissa’s hummus, tapenade, and burnt quesadillas.
Those Cuban sandwiches are overrated.
I’m no beer purist, but I do know ice cubes are never involved.
It wasn’t the Super Bowl. It was “The Big Game.” I hate the NFL bullying that keeps others from just calling it the Super Bowl. Giada’s show had a clip of a USC/UCLA game at the beginning. Pretty sure college football has been done for weeks now…
no matter what you put in beer to make an alternative drink — NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER (is that even grammatically correct? don’t care) ICE!!!! We had this very discussion last nite in going over some of the Mexican & German/Austrian/Bavarian (do I have to do that every time? can I just say German please?) recipes handed down to both of us for generations — & even here in Phoenix — NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER (changed it up a bit, see???? ;) ) ICE!!!! Wrong, on so many levels … and even though that’s a cliche & overused statement, can give those levels, depending on the original recipe… yikes a momma-sita, yet again… could go with FAIL, but fear verbal retaliation from other “purists” which would likely induce stupendous insomnia…. or not. ;) Cheers!
Stupid is as stupid does.
it’s just downright stooooo-pit… yeah it is.
holy crap! no fugging way I’d eat that. I don’t think my beagle would either.
also, I don’t really “get” super bowl parties. it’s too hard to pay attention to the game w/ so much going on.
SuperBowl parties are for the women who don’t really care about football. They just want to eat food and “watch the commercials”.
Anyway, I saw literally a minute of this show before I changed the channel. I came in during the part where she was blending the tapenade. She seriously repeated everything she said 4 times each. “You really don’t wanna over-blend the tapenade. It will get watery. Ok, so lets blend the tapenade, but don’t over-blend it. It will break down and get watery. If you over-blend the tapenade, it will get watery and break down. If you over-blend the tapenade, it will look creamy, but really, it’s watery and broken down.”
Who let this hack on the television?
Hey now – last time I looked (checking my chest), I am female and I watch the game!
Which is why I said SuperBowl parties are for the women who don’t care about football. :)
If the tapenade is too watery, try it over a giant glass of ice. It is sort of like Melissa’s four-step meals. If something fails, drink it.
I too, think she is pregnant. She has had a belly the last few weeks and is definitely wearing a maternity top.
Come to my house for superbowl. My market had a special on ribs. Buy one huge rack and get TWO FREE. They will be gone before half time even with the huge bowl of guacamole and taco stand. And, I have four different beer twelve-packs. No one will have to share.
My schnauzer and dachshund wouldn’t eat that stuff either. Scary, but I think their palates are more refined that hers!!
probably their plates, too… as it should be ;)
Did she REALLY put ice cubes in a beer? I didn’t see this shite, but good Lord if someone gave me a brew on the rocks!
I think there was lemonade involved too. The woman should be burned at the stake!
I’ll bring the match.
That’s gotta be some sort of mortal sin right there.
Now, if Melissa D’Retard had shown us a nice recipe for Michelada, it would all make sense. Michelada is a neat drink made with beer, lime, Tabasco and other shite and served over ice. It’s pretty awesome. If she then made a REAL quesadilla (cripe, that looks like Velveeta up there!) and a few other ‘themed’ items, we’d have a real football munchiefest.
motzi,
The Mexican Giada made Micheladas on her show this weekend. It was just beer and lime (and ice). Super boring.
If I wanted just beer and lime I could go to the local pub and have some piss-warm Corona and an old dried up wedge of lime shoved in it by the disinterested bartender. As usual, a FN host has cocked up a good thing.
Don’t worry, there couldn’t have been more than 1/4 of an ounce of beer in that glass. One six pack for 40 guests.
thankfully, before I could get a good hunching over barf session going on, turned it off — what the hell, besides ice cubes & lemonade (lemon juice, as well as lime, in the pure, are acceptable — see Mexican drink or GERMAN etc recipes) did she use? Rocky Mountain Piss Water???? Oh wait, please don’t tell me Hamms… or Schlitz… please… I beg of you… altho wasting a quality “beer” (was she that generic???) may be even worse… on the cheap — yeah, saves a lot of bucks, but can cost a lot of friends. Daaaaaaaaaaang, foodness missed a lot this week (last week, too) with all the real deal cooking & what not going on! Even put hubby in the keeetchohn with some good directions & basic familiar ingredients & even Alex Scarfenelli would have whhhhoooolfed it down lol!
Foodness is on a roll tonite, albeit, not really into rolls… eh, but there ya are… sorry.
I’m sorry, but if you guys want a real expert on alcoholic drinks, bring in SANDRA LEE!
Oh Auntie Sandy! Drink emergency in Aisle D’Arabian!
Didn’t see the show, but I’m itching to know if there was bacon on the menu in any way, shape, or form :)
Cherry, no bacon, but every ingredient bought on sale of course. She suggesting freezing whole lemons.
Freezing whole lemons ? Are you fucking serious ? The citrus growers are gonna take issue with that. Another FN nincompoop dishing out misleading info. What a stain.
No bacon but at least (?) 4 mentions of her husband and France
Do they have black bean hummus and burned quesadillas in France?
Like many, I had hopes for her. I’m sure she’s a very nice lady, blah blah blah. I tuned in to the show for a few minutes too – she was trying to make that (ahem) “drink,” and spilled most of it on the counter.
Don’t they do several takes? Is there not a director / editor for her show? Can’t someone make this lady look good on TV?
(rhetorical)
Two words: bean night.
Followed quickly by GAS NIGHT.
Host an unplugged open mic at your house, serve beans and rice, offer some 2 buck chuck, and spread the errrrr, stench….!
Totally gives the “what a gas” description of a gathering a new meaning. The hosts had better have a good supply of Maximum Strength Gas-X in the powder room ;)
The pictures of the hummus and tapenade look the same…….and I bet they both taste like shit!
I didn’t see the show so I don’t know how she makes it but I really like black bean hummus. Having said that I’d never serve it with lettuce cups (huh???) and I probably wouldn’t serve it to a room that would most likely be dominated by straught men. And that tuna crap just looks nasty. I can almost smell it through the screen.
I meant “straight” men. Duh, me.
I hate when old people misuse/overuse the word “fail”.
Burt Quesadilla fail?? I think my IQ just dropped 20 points from reading that.
I hate when people overuse the stale joke “I think my IQ just dropped 20 points”…
LOL – nice one. :)
Who the hell is Burt Quesadilla and what did he fail?
“middle-aged people”???? Do you call your parents/grandparents “middle-aged people”? Think about it – if you live long enough you will be “middle-aged”…
I turned 60 last week during a “Gerry Atric” cruise in the Caribbean. The DH and I had looked forward to dancing the night away in the disco, but a majority of our fellow passengers ate dinner at 5:15, went to an early show, then went to bed. There were more bar waiters at the late-night disco than passengers on the dance floor! Oh, what fun! (rolls eyes)
Yeah, I’m 60, the DH is 61, but we don’t think of ourselves as “old” – or anything even remotely close to “old”.
I still haven’t figured out what constitutes “old” my grandmother passed at the age of 91 and I never considered her “old” she was too much fun.
I’m still trying to grasp how Liz could be referring to Jillian (co-owner of this website and the one who posted the photos and text here, including the “fail” reference) as “old people.” Last time I saw photos of Jill, she looked pretty young. Sheesh.
Not to mention that slang is just that–slang, to be used however one wants. And that “burt” (sic) quesadilla was indeed a “fail”!
My IQ just rose 20 points from reading Liz’s post. And yeah, I saw her apology in the post below, but I still don’t get it. I guess I must be senile….
I hate when middle-aged people misuse/overuse the word “fail”.
Burt Quesadilla fail?? I think my IQ just dropped 20 points from reading that.
Sorry for the double-post. I figured “old” only covers a small portion of the population…
Too bad your IQ dropped 20 points…are you going to be able to feed yourself now that you have an IQ of zero?!?! :-p
Well I’m kind of old – but I think I can grasp the simple concept of “FAIL”
I think maybe it’s like when you misspell “burnt” ?
o irony, you always bring the lulz
Saw it. Could not believe that she ruined a perfectly good beer with lemonade and ice. And when she ate the crostini, she took the teeniest little bite from the edge of the crust. Even she won’t eat her vile crappy concoctions.
I saw that too! Do they think we don’t see that stuff?
Complete joke. Guess FN’s Hamburger Helper crowd adores her.
I think burning food is the new trend on Food Network. Ina broiled some broccoli in the oven and when she pulled it out, the broccoli was black! Rachael Ray made some cutlets of some sort the other day and when she flipped them, they were also black. Then Rachael said, “Don’t those look yummy?”
No Rachael, they didn’t look yummy. They looked burned!
I don’t blame Melissa D’Arabian for burning her quesadillas because everyone else on Food Network is doing it now!!!
I think you’re onto something….
“Blackened” what-not, douchebags trying to be Emeril and Prudhomme. It just doesn’t work with everything, FN morons.
I thought blackened food was a thing of the past. We did it at a restaurant where I worked back in 1992 and it was old news back then.
Just like bell-bottoms and penny-loafers, everything comes around again, like it or not. But you’re right, it has passed.
Ina refers to her burned, oven roasted veggies as being ‘carmelized’. So the quesadilla isn’t burned, it’s ‘carmelized’.
Waaa eva….
Okay, I’m with you on everything but the broccli. I roast it a few times a week, and if the ends aren’t dark and crispy, I thrown it back in for a bit. It tastes so good. Very nutty. (I just realized I sound just like a FN talking head with that…sorry.)
I’m with you Katie on this one…
Sounds like the nastiness I got served up at TGI Friday’s a couple of weeks ago. The stench of the grey, overcooked broccoli they had the audacity to serve me was vomitious.
TGI Friday’s…more like “TG I’m never coming here anymore”.
Take A Letter, Melissa.
LOL I got that.
I totally agree, the food was not appetizing at all. And since when did hummus and crostini qualify as dinner?
I don’t think the French like watching American football. so I’m sure Mommy McBacon won’t be having a Superbowl party anytime soon.
Not only did the food look disgusting, it sounded disgusting. When she poured the black beans into the food processor, I heard THUD, THUD, THUD, and I thought, maybe the beans were still dried. But, no, it was just the sound of frozen cooked black beans.
Poor Melissa. She rushes through every episode like FN is going to turn off the lights in the studio any minute.
LOL! That’s so true.
Using trendy names such as hummus and quesadillas doesn’t cover up the fact that Meliisa tried to serve up some faux bean dip and nachos. And lousy, nasty ass ones at that.
Exactly! You just cannot call that “hummus”!
Now hummus and quesadillas are trendy? Uh… I know I’m kind of a food snob, but those aren’t exactly haute cuisine.
Remember, she grew up in a spanish speaking household (her
nanny was Mexican.) You would think if she learned the
language she could have learned to cook as well as a Mexican. Was this her attempt to be interesting?
First, a great big “EEEWWWWWW!”
I turned it off right after she described what she was making. She sounded so excited to share her ‘bean night’ recipes…
aaaand she said that her husband never realized that they had a weekly ‘bean night.’ What was he on that he ate her ‘bean specials?’
How about this new Mexican Giada, Marcella whatsherface? FN decides to diversify with a show called Mexican Made Easy? Seriously? She made some super plain guac and torrrrrtiaaa chips (w/ torrrrtiaas, not from scratch). What is she going to teach us next, how to open a can of refried beans?
“How about this new Mexican Giada, Marcella whatsherface? FN decides to diversify with a show called Mexican Made Easy? Seriously? She made some super plain guac and torrrrrtiaaa chips (w/ torrrrtiaas, not from scratch). ”
AND they repeated the guac segment twice! And no one in editing caught it??!!!
I was wondering what happened, they totally screwed up that editing (or lack of) job. WTF? I thought she had a full-on spanish accent, but she’s just like Giada. Over-enunciates every word.
bwaha! I didn’t make it past the first guac segment, so I didn’t catch that.
but yeah, eye makeup, ponytail, over enunciating certain words, and clothes are eerily similar to ol’ gigi.
And she’s got the cleavage action going, too, just like ol’ Gigi.
“I was wondering what happened”
I was sitting there wondering if I was still inerbriated. Looked over, saw the nearly full bottle of Stoli and decided I was sober. I was NOT seeing double!
LOL!
However, I could have made that guac in my most inebriated state…..
Yeah, I watched this yesterday and tweeted that Melissa was making 2 brown dips and a neon-orange flatbread.
… I just don’t get the FN food styling department. Whatever happened to “you eat with your eyes”?
Beans, beans, the musical fruit…
You serve those two dips at kickoff, and by halftime there will be some serious percolation going on. Serious methane action.
GAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
This is one of the most REVOLTING menus I ever saw grace the TV screen. They need to get rid of this idiot.
Melissa looks much older in these screenshots. She doesn’t look nearly as young as she did in TNFNS…almost like she’s aged five or more years since then.
Is it just me, or does she look like Lindsay Lohan in the beer pic? Creepy.
I had to go back and look…you’re right, she does!
I was going to say she looks like Kate Gosselin in that pic.
Thank God I didn’t watch this after all — was already feeling nauseous… I’m all for spiffin’ it up with appetizers & drinks, but Super Bowl calls for boring ass wings, dips, chili, burgers, dogs, veggies (God forbid already provided on a tray! I have enough sht to do!), keg, sodas, whatever. Cuz I’m one of apparently the few women who like to watch the game, too & not spend the entire time leading up to game coming up with stupid shit no one wants to eat then too groucy to enjoy it.
BTW, the beer drink was an ill-fated version of perhaps two to three different drinks, 2 of which have been served in Germany/Austria/Bavaria for many many years, & one in Mexico. The German versions either have half lime or lemon juice & are served at lunch — much like we drink soda here. Another one is mixed with lemon/lime soda & served in a heavy pilsner for renourishment between legs of bike & hike treks (alcohol content significantly lower so no, it doesn’t deliever a drunk). Mexican Mechalada previously mentioned — mexican style beer, lime (about 1/2 & half) then dash or several of Tabasco & dash of worcestershire — glass rimmed with salt. At least that’s how they serve it on the Yucatan Peninsula. And Monterey (city of beer lol). Looks like she cheated or didn’t get the research done.
grouchy…. & whatever else.
OMG! That crap looks disgusting. The black bean hummus looks like something that’d be found in my infant niece’s diaper on a bad day. What the hell is that crap to go on top of her crostini, which don’t look like the bread was grilled.
There’s no excuse for burnt quesadillas!
FN has been on a long slide into the toilet. This sure doesn’t help. Bleaah!
I hate to say this, but close to 40 years ago a “cheese crisp” was what we’d order as take out from the local Mexican restaurant in Phoenix. All it was was a huge tortilla with melted cheese, maybe diced green chilies. Nothing fancy, but we thought it was heaven.
This predates the manufactured nachos that are on every street corner and in every gas station. Probably before most of you were born. You couldn’t get “Mexican Food” just anywhere — heck, I remember buying corn tortillas in a sealed can. They were “exotic” back then.
But calling that thing that Melissa made an “open faced quesadilla?” Even George Forman makes it better!
are you still in Phoenix??? We were done a serious wrong tonite (or whenever it aired, just watched it) on WC tonite — scuba dive??? Anyhoo, agreed. We’re going to try Los Taquitos this week based on Fairy’s recommendation, altho we have to say even more so on the fact we’ve driven by it many times & it’s packed! That & those gals don’t take sheeola from Fairy! ;) Found only one bad review & it was so over the top it was obviously personal & not objective…
I saw this too, and was thinking same thing! I was like WTF kind of crap is she serving? and for the Super Bowl? GTFO
crap on a shingle — my friends & family are all for my creative cooking & always love it, but come Stupor Bowl time or Daytona 500 pary time, let’s just stick to the classics, shall we??? No need to go Medieval — or just downright EVIL on their arses!
“Worm and Vomit Crostini” Bwahahahahaha!!
Yeah, Lord love her…when she pulled that tar rimmed quesadilla out of the oven and recommended that we “…take a picture of it” to compare our cooking efforts against, I just thought, “Hmmmm….NO!”
And then the ‘Cat Food on Lettuce Wedges’. When she was rolling one up to eat it I just about gagged.
Off topic, but WHY is her studio kitchen SO spread out? Poor girl looks like she’s doing a half marathon in every episode…
Her pantry’s the size of a guest room. Didn’t you expect she’d have 10 freezers to accomodate all her bacon? I want to smack her every time she opens both sides of her fridge –why didn’t they get her a one-door? She makes my eyes bleed.
LOL :)
Also, she’s constantly walking back and forth in that huge kitchen! It’s strange. Why didn’t she get a small kitchen like most other chefs. Even Paula Deens kitchen is smaller!
I think she is cooking out of her OWN kitchen. Giadia cooks out of a rented house. Ina cooks from home as do Guy, Bobby Flay, etc. It was explained by Giadia once that she films all the shows for one season in a two-week period. So, it’s a cushy job. Problem is like for Melissa, no one is overseeing what she considers great food and in two weeks, it’s in the can (literally speaking as well).
I actually had to comment on this, only for the “quesadilla.” I grew up in New Mexico, and as a little kid (we’re talking first grade), a fairly regular after school snack I could do myself was a tortilla with shredded cheese on top. If I could do it as a 6-year-old, there’s no excuse to burn something that easy on national television.
I mean, gorram. Seriously? How do you screw up something kids can make themselves?
No doubt! My little girl practically LIVES on cheese quesadillas at the moment (put it this way–shredded cheese and tortillas are staples at our house) and she’s been making them herself since she was five. They’re her favorite snack, so she learned to do it for herself. She could put Melissa to shame. She’s seven now–how old is Melissa?
By the way, Marley, nice use of the word “gorram”. Did you ever happen to watch “Firefly”?
Browncoat for life!
Niiiicceee! Me, too! Good to find someone else who knows who the TRUE captain of the ‘verse is!
I live in NM and the only place I have ever seen quesadillas on the menu is the drive-thru menu at Taco Bell. I did have quesadillas in Chiapas, Mexico last winter and they were divine. They were filled with huichalacotes (aka a fungus that grows on corn plants) and Mexican cheese. The huichalacotes (sp) are a real delicacy and really delish.
Quesadillas by their very definition are filled tortillas not open faced. What Melissa made are what I would often make during a long siege in the house due to a snow storm when I would run out of bread, I would use anything flat like a tortilla, English muffin, split pitas and just top with whatever leftovers were in the fridge — those were custom “pizzas”. I would never serve them to company.
Well, on the positive side, I’d be skinny if I cooked her food.
I am not one to yell at the TV normally, only when my Vikes blow the NFC championship. I actually yelled at the TV watching this show, ” STOP SAYING SILKY, DAMMIT!” I wasn’t even really watching the show, just had it going on as I was playing a game. I enjoy watching shows that have food that i could afford to make, but this is ridiculous. If I went to a Big Game party and this food came out, I would make any excuse to get the hell outta there.
What? No bacon?
How do you burn a quesadilla? DId she grill it? Looks like she used Velvetta on it too.
What I find so odd about her is that out of her own tv show she is so relaxed, calm, and warm (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2kj0PW4Vik) but when you watch her on ten dollar dinners she seems so rushed, tense, and frankly unwatchable. She seems to stand firmly behind her belief of easy meals at low costs which i respect, but at least cook your quesadilla properly.
I agree, you just KNOW Paula’s got the hook-up on Superbowl snacks. ‘Cause, really, who’s counting calories on game day? Not me!
Oh H3LLacious no! Not worrying about calories at all! Worried about not being friggin’ stoooopit with exhaustion getting ready for the big game, cuz this chick actually watches it! ;) Yay for you!!!!!! Please pass the butter. Preferably fried… on a stick. :)
My favorite comment of the whole show was when Melissa said she did not add the full recommended amount of water needed to reconstitute the lemonade because she “didn’t want to water down the beer too much.” I am surprised that no one mentioned this. This has to be the most ignorant statement of all time.
I noticed that too, Martin! Giant “WTF?” It made absolutely no sense.
She’s trying to incorporate two, possibly three, very unrelated drinks into a watered-down mess because she didn’t do the research on the authentic drinks. Perchaps her fronsay uberhubby made some wave in the air suggestions & indicated she should not worry about substance & he would buy her a new pony as soon as this show was over — don’t worry about it mon shaaaaaiiir…
I was also disappointed that Melissa suggested to us the we store our unused whole zested citrus in the freezer without elaborating further. As far as I know, and I do have a Ph.D. in biochemistry, the only effective way to store lemons in the freezer is to first squeeze out the juice and store the JUICE in the freezer – not the whole lemons! Tip: fill ice cube trays with the juice. One section in an ice cube tray holds approximately 1 ½ tablespoons of liquid, but for greater accuracy, measure how much juice you want to store in each individual section.
Common sense, Martin, we can’t have any of that at FN.
Exactly! That’s a USEFUL tip! Heaven knows where you’d have to go on FN.com to find those.
Eww…all that looks revolting!
and she thinks it’s revolutionary… pass me the bayonette, if you please ;)
Hm, no bacon… I think of Melissa d’Arabian as the “Bubba” of Food Network. You know, bacon tortillas, bacon freezer pops, bacon-wrapped bacon tarts, etc. How oddly out of character for her not to use bacon in an episode of her, errr, um, show.
Maybe she forgot it was s’pose to be pancetta (please don’t make me try to spell it correctly or the way Jeeeee-yadda yadda yadda pronounces it lol!) & gave up — much like on the diluted delusional drinks! yikes — a momma… sita… or something! ;)
The only thing I could think of when I saw the burnt quesadilla was, quick throw the cheese frisbee!!! Lol yes I amuse myself.
I know this is an old thread, but had to post about Melissa’s show today 2/7/10 — Fish en Papillote, Rice w/ Shallots and Chocolate ‘Bread Pudding’. FN is up to some tricks with the reviewers’ area. Negative postings are removed and the reviewer is hit with obnoxious, rude and intimidating comments from other reviewers, which I suspect are FN employees. A total prop-up job to cover Melissa’s revolting recipes which aren’t fit for publishing, much less eating. Today she had her hands in all of her dishes, saying it was a way for her ‘to get to know her food’, and claimed that ‘butter is great for my cuticles.’ Is this a cooking show or manicure shop? UGH! Just once I’d like to see her plate 4 servings because what she puts on her tasting plate is way more than one serving. She said ‘aaaaaaaannddd’ 50 times during her show and of course reminded us that EVERYthing she used/uses is ‘bought on sale’, ‘frozen’ or ‘bought in bulk’. I simply cannot take her horse teeth, illegitimate food costings and non-existant camera skills. Whomever at FN thinks this chick is worthy of a show must be off his/her rocker. FN is hitting rock bottom IMO. Switched to PBS after Melissa’s atrocious show and never switched back.
I would beat the crap out of anyone who served food like this at a Superbowl party. Or any football game for that matter.
I think the gates of hell opened up with all you people putting down Melissa. No one is perfect, but most of her dishes are fine with me. Envy, jealousy, vindictiveness, on and on. Do you go to church. Are you kind to your fellow human beings. SO much harshness and pure unadulterated crap!
I could care less what most of you say. I will watch her show and not bad mouth her. Less is more. Why not just say, this particular show I did not care for? Nasty, hateful people who have nothing better to do than gripe. It is not worth wasting time to read what you say. Shame on you all.
So, uh, Alyce Carroll….why don’t you just not read the website if you think it is “nasty”? Go to church and shut the hell up! EVERYONE (yes, even you) is entitled to their opinion…and by the way,. MY opinion is that the ONLY reason horseface is on FN is b/c Bobby Flay had the hots for her…(a) Because she is blonde and (b) Because somewhere in her ever-changing stories about her life she said she lived in Texas or something. Her food sucks, she has NO personality and acts like she is forcing herself to try and be likeable…..
[...] 6) Four words: Super Bowl at d’Arabian’s. [...]