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Food Network Humor Voicemails: Part 2
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(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
28 Responses
Jillian, you need to do this as a podcast. I’d love to be able to listen to them on the way to work or something. :)
Food Network Humor Podcast coming this summer with Jillian and I! It should be a lot of fun, and we plan on making listener calls a feature.
It never fails to make me chuckle when some bonehead leaves a voicemail or an email to this site, thinking it’s Food Network!
Yay! More voicemails! I agree with Ryan, these should be available in podcast form too. And longer!
Who the hell calls someone up asking for free stuff? People really do that? I’m shocked. The schmuck knew he didn’t have the right phone number, and left the message anyway! Unreal!
But, to redeem himself, he wished Jillian a “blessed day.”
Which is, of course, the proper way to sign off on a voice mail after you’ve proven yourself to be a cheap, poorly spoken piece of crap trying to get something you could download from the internet and then take to Kinkos to get blown up.
Oh yeah. That isn’t free.
I listened to his message about 5 times and maybe it’s because I was laughing at his request for cool-posters-for- environmental-lifting but to me it sounded like he said his name was Hydric Gas.
That’s what his name sounded like to me, too, boke1! LOL!
my timing blows! i literally just threw out my entire “Cool Pictures of Food” photo collection!
maybe internationally recognized artist Gregory Myrick can paint him some Cool Pictures of Food when he is not creating heinous paintings of Pauler….
btw, the auction ended, any ebay folks know what happened to the lovely artwork?
It was consumed in the firey blaze resulting from Gregory Myrick’s self-immolation after realizing how incredibly legendary he ISN’T.
I’m so glad I took the time to listen to this, the voicemails are hilarious! I agree with the previous commenter, posting this as a podcast would be awesome!
“Melissa D’Arabian bad” is now added to my vocabulary.
Freakin genius. AND…that last frame of booby DeLaurentis…I swear parts of her nippies are showing in that bikini top…AND that top makes her gazingees look “udderly” ridiculous.
Mental note. Things to pack for next vacation, pink tank top, safety goggles, nail gun.
Giada should just get it over with and pose in Playboy already. You know she’s dying to show it all off.
Hahaha, I love the way Jillian says “boobs.” Glad this feature is back.
Good stuff. I for one fully support more Giada boobage. It distracts from the bobblehead and man-hands.
I can see that melding into a semi-regular podcast. A food-slanted monthly roundtable thing with doses of pop culture and free-flowing topical conversation could be really entertaining, as long as the participants are witty and snarky. A good 10 minutes could be spent on the D’Arabianing of the network to a point where I’d rather watch a drunk Gina Neely.
I’m in the pro-Giada-cleavage camp, too!
That one dude who mentioned “room temperature shrimp” had it right on. Shrimp sounds gross in and of itself (I have a pet shrimp), as does all seafood, except my annual tuna sandwich (drowned in mayo and onions to kill the seafood flavor). Yay landfood!
Who are these people and why do they think that this number is not from a website that effing picks apart the food network. Do they ever read or listen carefully?
I’m thinking not, Alex. First you’ve got some hag who’s probably 105, and then you have ‘Hydric-Gas’ who sounds about as sharp as a cotton ball.
I’m surprised they can operate a telephone, let alone a computer.
You heard him call himself “Hydric Gas” too? That’s a relief. I was about to call Miracle Ear and sign up. Have a blessed day.
Yep, that’s what it sounded like to me. You have a blessed day too, boke1. ;)
Jill, you are thee shit! I totally agree with you 100%, but what I want to know is why do these people call the hot line thinking or might as well be thinking it’s the damn Food Network!? Can these people not read that this is Food Network HUMOR? Shows what that site [Food Network] can do to a person! But Jill, you are great!
Hilarious. Bravo.
HILARIOUS!
Very funny! I love this website! Just one thing, Giada should be pronounced “Jah-da.” :)