General: Food Humor »
Guess The Mystery Gadget
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IS THIS:
a) A sculpture depicting Giada’s breast growth over the last 20 years
b) One of Guy Fieri’s goatee hairs under a really strong microscope
c) Ina Garten’s hydrangea planting tool
d) Gina and Pat Neely’s favorite bedroom toy
Leave your guesses in the comments section, or click here to see what it really is!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Guess The Mystery Gadget---Guess The Mystery Gadget
---Guess The Mystery Gadget
---PHOTO: Gina Neely Pregnant With Daughter Shelbi In 1995
---Party At Gina Neely’s House
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(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
85 Responses
That better be a citrus juicer! How scary is that?
My first reaction is that it’s a dilldoe [sp?] for those with carpel tunnel syndrome….hence the cushy handle.
Am I close??
LMAO!!
lolol
It’s D. Absolutely D. It’s actually a citrus reamer, though.
not sure that is big enough for Gina. Oh i hope it is not for Pat !!!!
:o)
I think a good name for it would be “rama lama ding dong.” The name is self-explanatory.
I don’t know what it is, but it gave me the urge to cross my legs.
HAHAHA!!!!
Aaron McGhetto Jr’s scalp massaging tool.
HAHAHAHA!
Oh, it’s a reamer alright, Alex.
Oh, you. ;)
It’s a buttplug the Neelys use.
Reamer. Gross looking reamer. But none the less, a reamer.
Bobby Dean’s anal reamer?
when you absolutely, positively, have to ream ALL the juice from your fruit….er, citrus, er, well, whatever.
fruit juice sex toys, for the creative chef, or a Deen bro…
Why dontcha ask Aida ?
LOL
It`s Ann Burrel’s ear wax remover…..
Or Brian Boitano`s Saturday night date…
BINGO!
I thought that was Bobby Dean
Well, Brian’s a butt lover too.
not that theres anything wrong with that =)
So many jokes, what to do…
I’m going with it’s a Rachel Ray larynx cleaner. I wish she’d choke on it.
LOL, Scruffy!
I think Jillian had it right with the flow chart. It’s a RR fake foodgasm inducer.
OMG!! the Amazon description of it makes me want to go shower with some bleach and steel wool!
“Call it sensual, but it’s a brute of a *************, thanks to its unique shape, solid construction, and “ball-tip” patterning.”
Really… who approved THAT copy?
Just check out the product description! Lotsa innuendo in there:
“Don’t let appearances fool you. It’s character that counts. Call it funny looking, but Art and Cook’s Citrus Reamer is a beauty at stripping the pulp and goodness from hard-skinned fruit. Call it sensual, but it’s a brute of a juicer, thanks to its unique shape, solid construction, and “ball-tip” patterning. The O2 Series is based on a pioneering, ergonomically designed air-cusion handle that features pockets of pressurized air. The patent-pending O2 technology is completely unique to any handle on the market and provides the user with the best comfort, the most secure grip and the most complete control of the tool.”
does reading that to your partner qualify as foreplay???
Oh my, is it hot in here or is it just me?
Do not want!
I’ll continue to fork my lemon, as I’ve been doing for years.
“fork” your lemon, eh? ;-D
I believe I learned that technique from Emeril – hold half lemon in hand and stab and twist with fork as hard as you can.
He got some pretty good laughs re the forking, as I recall, heh.
It’s a reamer, so my original guess is only *slightly* off.
Did anyone catch the Michael Chiarello method of squeezing citrus juice by putting it in his mouth and using his teeth to chomp down on ?
I thought I was seeing things on Top Chef Masters. Put a lime in his cakehole, positioned his head over the pan and squeezed out the juice. I wonder if he learned that at the CIA. Wouldn’t want citrus juice to mess with his lovely manicured nails uh ?
I use a variant on that technique, which I think I also learned from Chiarello – I put the citrus half in the hinge of a pair of spring-loaded kitchen tongs, then squeeze the tips together. The leverage squishes every last drop of juice out of the fruit.
I think everyone knows the tong method. Been around as long as tongs. But putting the lime in your mouth ? WTF ?
Can’t muster up enough torque to squeeze a a piece of citrus fruit ?
I think Chiarello proved he is the fruit.
He can probably do that from both ends. It’s a nice trick during his polenta parties, but not appropriate for cable television. ;)
That`s hilarious!
A citrus juicer :D
I knew it was a citrus reamer… but it looks like it wouldn’t be a particularly efficient one.
Or one you’d want your friends finding, if they were rooting around your cabinets. They’d think you misplaced it.
/shiver
Guy Fierei necklace charm
Alton Brown “Molecules on a Stick”
Barefoot Contessa really good orange tulip bulb hole digger (for the gardner)
Definitely D. And it is sick you would show this item on here! I hope this is a new item pic and not ‘previously used’ pic…. LOL And my next question is… how did you sneak this away from Gina’s hand…. I am sure she is searching all of her pigs trying to find it!
Seriously, I wonder what Alton would think of this item? What other uses would the ‘king of the multi-taskers’ come up with?
(Me, I just don’t like the looks of it ick)
Something that is best left where you found it: Paula Deen’s beside table.
LOL! “OH CAPTAIN!! C’MERE SUGAR!! I’VE THE TOY AND SOME OOOIIILLL!!”
Oh God. I just made myself sick.
me too, thanks a lot! lol
oh god…thanks for the visual! Eeeek
Wow, that just went from funny gross to vomit-inducing gross.
The word ‘reamer’ and anything to do with food should NOT be in the same phrase.
JMHO.
My thoughts EXACTLY! LMAO! And I love Deven’s comment, classic:
“As a former porn store clerk, that definitely looks like it goes in your ass.”
God, I love this site!
As a former porn store clerk, that definitely looks like it goes in your ass.
I bet one of Ina’s friends came up with the design!
I’m sure they did because as Ina would say you should use a “good” butt plug, I ment lemon reamer…oh and if I see her juice anymore lemons on that annoying as hell electric lemon juicer, im gonna scream.
A scene in the Hamptons:
JEFFREY: Ina, honey. Look what I just found between
the couch cushions!
INA: Ohhhhhhhhh. That must be T.R.’s. How bad can
that be?
lol..ewww..and this just in..Ina actually has the ends of her bob do flipped out! still sporting that damn blue shirt though, blah
LOL…you guys are hilarious!!!
I don’t know why, but “lemon reamer” just cracked me up! LOL
Oh C’mon! I’m eating!
Is it a steel model of one of Anthony Bourdain’s lungs?
hehehe!
I think AB would be proud of all these suggestions, we know how he feels about Uni-Taskers!
It reminds me something resembling a Hindu boob god fetish-cum-reamer. That that, AB! LOL!
I don’t know what it is but I am hoping it belongs to Giada.
It’s Sandra Lee’s botox redistributer.
Ahahaha, genius!
It’s something like a juicer, but I think Alton Brown would describe it as a “multitasker”
It just looks like something I would love to smack Guy Fieri with. Not really! Oh who am I kidding, I would love to.
Before I click that link to check, I am guessing a citrus juicer… but it does look like some freaky butt plug or maybe something Sandra Lee would use as a centerpiece in one of her crazy tablescapes.
But wait! You can get two of them – the Zinc one shown above and the Chrome one – I guess some like it rough and some like it smooth. I’m talking about reaming… citrus!
Discovered by Ina and Jeffrey on their latest trip to Paris, the Marais district. It’s known as a g(raper).
Vigorously inserted into the bottom end of a fruit, it causes the seed to spill out.
Rachel Ray found it works best when first dipped into EVOO.
Best answer!
LOVE IT!!
Looks like something Sandra Lee will hang all over next year’s ridiculous Christmas tree. (A la the “bar items” tree fiasco.)
Did they HAVE to call it a ‘reamer’? I was getting disturbing enough mental images as it was …
Of course I know what it is. I have one on my nightstand, next to BOB.
It’s a 3-D model for Duff Goldman’s next goatee style.
It’s a UNI-TASKER!
Looks like a citrus reamer that would have been used in Total Recall.
my vote is answer A–Giada
Booby Gay’s (Bobby Flay) anal stimulator.