This is what happens when a girl who hates Guy Fieri is bored on a Sunday night, and decides to torture herself by watching NBC. Welcome to our spur of the moment Minute To Win It live blog!

8:00 pm: The first contestant is a hair stylist. Great. I know exxxxactly who his next 2 clients should be.

8:02: Last week, Mark won a whopping $2,500. He’s on level 3, and is about to play a game called “Speed Eraser.” I can only assume it involves Lindsay Lohan.

8:04: Sadly, “Speed Eraser” was just a middle-aged man trying to bounce pencils into a glass as Guy Fieri stood in the corner annoyingly egging him on. Now *that’s* what I call entertainment.

8:07: This show is awful. I don’t know if I can endure an entire hour of this. I’m just saying.

8:08: One of the studio lights just bounced off of Fieri’s pinky ring and partially blinded me in my right eye. Like my grandmother always said, “never trust a man with a pinky ring.”

8:15 pm: The level four challenge is called “Bucket Head.” The guy has to bounce ten ping pong balls off of a plastic wall into a bucket on his head. You know what that means: this show one plastic nose filled with green boogers away from being DOUBLE DARE.

8:17: Okay, the guy lost. Guess he didn’t practice the idiotic game at home enough, eh?

Anyway, here’s the next contestant. Her first challenge is called “This Blows.” Ironically, that’s exactly my opinion about this show right now.

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We interrupt this review to bring you opinions from Twitter users who are currently watching Minute To Win It:

Just discovered NBC’s “minute to win it”…how is this even worth the production costs? What a waste! -ElleLaMode

Guy Fieri is not a good host – it’s like he doesn’t know how to react to the contestants. -patlaeger

“Minute to win it” is basically just a show about what people do when they’re drunk. -MeganHobson

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Really, Megan Hobson? I’ve been drunk a few times, and never once did I say “Hey, let me put an Oreo on my eyeball and try to WIGGLE IT INTO MY MOUTH.” Imagine the crumbs! Can you say “corneal abrasion?”

Guy Fieri just said, “Oh, she’s doing the shake. No one’s ever done the shake in all the time we’ve been doing this.” Uh, THE SHOW IS BRAND NEW. No shit you’ve never seen anyone doing it.

8:28 pm: We’re a half hour into the show. Prize money given away: 0. Brain cells lost: 3,245.

8:30: The next challenge involves a woman in a blindfold groping around for some small orange balls. Or as Guy Fieri calls it, “a rockin’ Friday night.”

The contestant failed to complete the challenge, so now we have to WATCH HER TRY IT AGAIN. After the commercial break, of course. Is it 9 yet? I want to watch Cyndi Lauper crumble under Donald Trump’s questioning again.

8:43: Guy Fieri just explained the challenge by saying, “she has to grab onto two balls which are very easy to get off.” Whoa now. Is this a game show or the plot of the newest Debbie Does Dallas flick?

Oh. She lost again. She only has one life left. Too bad she’s not a cat.

After her 3rd try, the woman finally completed the stupid ball challenge. And of course, more commercials. I guess SOMETHING has to pay all the props on this shitty show.

8:53 pm: Sadly, the contestant couldn’t keep two feathers airborne by blowing on them for 60 seconds. And so, with a few pumps of his fist, Fieri ended the show by “dancing” and doing the white man’s overbite with the contestant.

Well folks, I can honestly say that hour was torture, and I wouldn’t watch this show again unless you gave ME a million dollars. Game over, the end.

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