Rachael Ray »
VIDEO: Rachael Ray “Dancing” [And I Use That Term Loosely]
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Last week, Rachael Ray hosted the Seven Daughters soundcheck at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival. For some ungodly reason, her husband’s band performed at the event. It appears that John’s music caused Rachael to clumsily seize and shake and thrust her pelvis in ways no mortals should ever have had to witness. Luckily, someone shot video of the event – and thanks to the internet – as many of us can be traumatized as possible.
I’m warning you: this video is not easy to watch. Few things in life are more painful to witness than the sight of Rachael Ray slithering around like a rejected Bunny Ranch employee while mouthing the chorus to an awful John Mayer song as its being bastardized by her husband.
Other than that, enjoy!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---FNH VIDEO REMIX: Paula Deen and Rachael Ray Dancing---BEST WORST FOOD NETWORK REMIX VIDEO EVER (Starring Sandra Lee & Rachael Ray)
---Rachael Ray’s Montreal Vacation: Photo Gallery
---Rachael Ray’s Hawaiian Vacation: Photo Gallery
---EVOOHH MY EYES: Rachael Ray & John Cusimano’s Gross Halloween Costumes
- Rachael Ray
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107 Responses
That’s the first time I’ve heard her husband’s band – and I REALLY hope it’s the last as well.
That woman is the single most annoying, self absorbed person on the planet Go home! Now!
That was truly scary. But something kept coming to mind. How did she get her more than ample (read large) butt in those jeans?
I also realized that she is only a few pounds from being the next Paula Deen. Her food is already there, it’s awful.
Yeah, I wanna be sedated too, now…
No wonder Rachael Ray “lost” her voice and needed surgery. She’s always screaming or shouting to make herself the center of attention. Hey, Ratched, how about using your “indoor” voice once in a while? If not, you’ll be under the knife again real soon.
Yeah seriously – she’s almost like Gina Neely in that respect. I kind of feel sorry for the hubby – he’s just background noise for her antics.
Did she really have to have surgery to fix her voice? I thought something was up… There is such a dramatic difference between her volume and overall excitability on the old and new 30MM. I thought maybe the FN execs finally told her, “Hey, Ray-Ray, tone it down. People hate you.” Or at least that’s how it went in my daydreams.
Yes, RR had surgery, but I think she still sounds hoarse and raspy. In more recent episodes of 30MM, I see general malaise and an overall lack of enthusiasm from the usually perky hostess. There’s no longer any joy in 30MM, and I feel as if Ray could care less about continuing this show. jmo
Nah. FN is in total denial about anyone hating their “talent.”
Seriously. I thought her jaw was going to unhinge there for a second.
lol I was thinking the same thing.
And her dancing “buddies” are seriously uncoordinated as well. That was just painful to watch!
Yeah, who were the dorks hanging out with drunky Rachael? What am I saying, they looked better than her husband.
I’m seriously afraid to click “play.”
Oh, come on, Mystie. You can do it! Just have bleach handy…or a bottle of your favorite likker :)
If you don’t have any likker, just go raid Aunt Shhandy’s cabinet of altered reality (the liquor cabinet).
The most annoying thing about this video was…the entire video. Roachael and her pet–I mean, husband–should be put outta our misery!
The CREEPIEST thing about this video was the curly-haired guy to the left who kept staring at RayRay like he wanted nothing more than to wear her skin. Word to the authorities–if Ray goes missing, check that guy’s house!
That guy screams douchebag. He’s far too old for that haircut, but he’s dressed like he really misses the 70s.
He probably still goes to his old frat’s parties and thinks it’s funny to teabag sleeping guys.
I was cracking up at his haircut and nice, groovy shirt too. He was trying too hard to be her friend.
You do realize, do you not, that Rach has a “thing” for Jimmy Durante? Wonder how “close” she really was to Grampy Emanuel.
It rubs the EVOO on its skin. It does this whenever it’s told, or it gets the hose again.
or
Put the F-in’ EVOO in the garbage bowl!
Best. Comment. Ever.
Top 10, at least.
God bless you, Liz.
Robert, that was awesome!
ROTFLMAO!
Those two dweebs look like they’re part Cusimotos squid gang. That one guy gazes at Rachael harder than Noah Starr ever did Aida Mollenkamp.
I have a new cutesy abbreviation for RR “TTH”- for “Trying Too Hard.”
Only because “PDGDEFDOCA” for “Please Dear God Don’t Ever Fucking Dance On Camera Again” was too long.
EV-Oh No seems to fit too
Ok..no problem with you using that…but I SOOO invented that (see FNH drinking game). That having been said, totally appropriate usage, Scruffy….props to you!
Loopy Groupie wife-y
Geez! If that video reaches the right people, we might see Ratched on “Dancing With the Stars” one of these days!
Well after all, she does have those “fluid hips.” Just like a water bed mattress.
I thought for a minute she was going to go make a ‘love sandwich’ with those two losers on either side of her.
YEEECCCCHHHH!!!
‘love sandwich’
Given that it’s Rachael Ray, wouldn’t that be a “love Sammie”? LOL!
“Luv Sammie”
You’re totally right, CherryRose. Ugh…either way I’m feeling nauseous just thinking about it!
In her defense, she’s having a good time with friends, listening to her husband play music (regardless of how good or bad). I think that she looks happy – good for her.
I agree. I think that most are too harsh in their zealousness to bash her.
wrock on w/ yer badass rachelray self.
apparently y’all never been to a nightclub show.
If I want to hear crappy music I’m not paying a cover/admission and 7 bucks for a watered-down drink.
Not if the groupies look like that especially.
I love this site, and lmao quite a bit at the “celebrities” here, but in this case, I agree that she was just having some adult beverages and enjoying the crappy music. And “woo-ing” it up. I have been there, done that too many times…
She is wasted… the only way she is happy
I have to say that whoever shot the video should be shot. Don’t you have anything better to do with your time than try to get 15 minutes of “fame” by taking video of some lameass Food Network Star? Jeez. How long is that video, anyway? I couldn’t take more than a few seconds.
Although I have to say that any opportunity to make fun of RR is on some level welcome.
Well,that was just plan painful to watch. First off she was trying to sing along with songs she clearly does not know the words too. Then the way she was acting looked like she was trying to hard. I have a feeling she knew she would be taped so she was really amping it up for that purpose. Can you imagine her and Gina Neeley together and trying to out scream each other? Gawd….
Sorry, that should just be painful to watch.
I would gouge my eardrums and eyeballs out with a wooden spoon.
I have a big mouth, so I usually like to defend Rachel on that account, but I have seriously never seen anyone open it that wide before. Her husband is a lucky man.
Are you saying she can administer gargantuan pickle washes because she can open her mouth so wide ?
I just spewed coffee all over my computer screen, Sarah! LOL
Ecstasy and wine are a deadly combination.
Am I the only one who can’t view the video? :( It just buffers and never plays. My husband can’t play it on his computer, either.
You’re probably all the better for it, Gypsy. Just imagine RR swaying around disjointedly trying to sing along, and being eye raped by two middle aged losers. Oh, and then she tilts her head back to yell her support for Greasy and her face basically splits in half horizontally. Creepy.
I need a drink.
When you’re in a band there is nothing cooler then seeing your old lady rockin’ out.
Rach is cool. EVOO for EVER!
John?
Seriously…or are you paid? Oh, my bad…so is John. In Isaboos’ dog food bowl, I’m sure. BUT IT HAS EVOO ON IT, SO IT TASTES YUMMMMM-OOOOOO! (snark-TASTIC)
No Elaine comment yet????
hahahahaaaaaa. she doesn’t use her thumbs like elaine. never has, never will
Hah. Elaine was the first thing I thought of!
Wait…isn’t that lady at the very end of the who’s giving Rachael a hug Daisy from “Viva Daisy” that sometimes airs on FN?? If not, they definitely look similar.
Could be, RR and scuzzi produce Daisy’s show.
so clearly she’s not talented in the ways of the dance, but honestly I don’t see what this has to do with her cooking abilities, whch leads me to wonder why this was posted on a food network based website
Again I say,John, is that you?
We’re allowed here to comment on more than the FN hosts’ cooking abilities, honest.
We had our mommies sign the permission slips and everything
Well, my mommy didn’t sign mine, but I forged her signature so it’s all good.
Nor is she especially talented with cooking.
She’s not talented in the ways of cooking, either.
And it’s just SO damned much fun to rag on her!
Oh damn, you beat me to it!
why would you show this on your website. have you no self dignity. i found myself foaming at the mouth while watching this
http://www.flickr.com/photos/65944492@N00/4408163779/
i found myself foaming at the mouth>>>
have you considered vaccinations?
Ok, new here…been lurking (and LMFAO) for about a week now.
I couldn’t figure out which was worse…RR or the butchering of one the Ramones classics by that talentless hack. Oh wait, they’re both talentless hacks.
Hiya, Miss Conduct!
Uh, Erica and Drew, apparently you missed the “HUMOR” part of this website’s title? It’s not Food Network, people, it’s FOOD NETWORK HUMOR.
If this video didn’t make you laugh, please go on your merry ways. No one will miss you.
I bet Rach (ch) (ch) had to get drunk often to pretend she likes this music. Poor hubby doesn’t know he sucks the big one!
ya it certainly looked like the two geeks on either side knew they were being filmed and were reveling in the thought of being on tape!
in other news, i was actually at the SoBe Food and Wine Fest working last Friday and saw Robert Irvine and Aaron McCargo walking about and, well, barely being noticed. one woman did ask Robert to take a pic with her and Aaron stood by looking almost forlorn. ah well, i must say in spite of myself Robert was rockin the jeans rather nicely, never thought i would actually say that——-
Thanks for the report. I was just thinking of asking over in our forums if anyone had been to SoBe.
unfortunately i was only there on that friday (and it was industry day, not crazy crowded) and i had to stick by my own booth so i could not do a lot of walking around….the weather was great, lots of the Beautiful People of south beach and i knew every time i heard wild cheers in the background that an FN star had arrived on scene. wish i could have seen more for a better review!! :/
If RR were playing charades instead of dancing, I would have guessed “dry humping”.
PS lmao @ “love sammies”. I never heard it called that. I thought it was just “the sandwich” or “3 way grind”.
Which just gave me the thought to adopt this video by cutting out the sound and replacing it with “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!”
She sounds like a man.
1. Ray-Ray is a lot more fun when she is wasted (in her old shows she is already half in the bag, that’s why she’s so perky. Sober Rachel=boring ass 30MM).
2. That leather jacket is extraordinarily ridiculous. She probably has a temporary tattoo tramp stamp that says “John” to give herself that truly authentic skanky groupie look.
3. The people standing around her look to be honored by her presence. Really, people? Really? They look like they’re ready to do body shots of stoup off of her shelf-butt.
LMAO!
“Body shots of Stoup off her shelf butt.” Hysterical!
You know…the site used to be hysterically funny, my head hitting my kb because I was laughing so hard at things.
This is spiteful, catty and well…just lame.
The site is just trying to damn hard of late, and it’s costing you. it’s more like a food network 4chan than it is a humour site these days. Please go reread the earlier stuff or something and get that back.
What do you mean, we’re not trying at all! See ya.
Excuse me, “it’s costing me?” What exactly are you talking about? What exactly is it costing me? Membership is up, and thanks to a great reader base, hits are stable even after my 10-day hiatus. And for what it’s worth, I would have posted this video last week, last month, or last year, for the simple fact that it is hilarious.
Websites have to evolve, change, and grow. Sure, the early stuff was different, but I can only post so many photos of Giada over-enunciating, or Ina Garten talking about “good vanilla” before people get bored. The fact of the matter is, no matter what you post, ungrateful people are going to complain. Too similar. Too repetitive. Too mean. Too this. Too that. Whatever. I’m taking time out of my day, my life, to try to entertain you. For no money. Just because I think it’s fun. So here’s a thought – if you don’t like the website anymore, then don’t visit it. Or if you think it is so easy to be gut-bustingly funny every day of every month, go start a website of your own. Honestly, it’s that easy.
Right on, Jill. Don’t let the naysayers get you down. Many people love you here and in the forums. There is still absolutely nothing like your site anywhere else on the Internet. Keep up the good work.
Jill, the true sign of a site’s impact is when the naysayers come out of the woodwork to decry it.
Although I haven’t been around too long, I’ve seen a trend towards more and more of a “Personality X Defense Force” coming out any time they don’t like something about the person that they or FN prop up unrealistically. And then there’s always the “good ole day” people who think something can only be cool if noone else knows about it.
As annoying as the Defense Forces and naysayers are, it means word is getting out. And outside of last night’s episode of Community, this site makes me laugh far more than almost every comedy source I seek out.
Even Monty Python had some duds, but you don’t get a Fish Slapping Dance without trying at all. Not calling this post a dud by any means, Rachel tries to present herself almost Tiger-esque as bubbly, warm, and personable, when all indications are she’s an egotistical, raging bitch when there isn’t a camera turned on. Cue the Rachel Defense Force.
Besides, there’s plenty of quick-witted people here ready and willing to skewer the comments of the dumb.
But you *were* gut bustingly funny when you weren’t posting every single day. COnsider the ‘haw haw’ personal nastiness of most of the comments to this post. Is that really what you want? It wasn’t like that before, and I think that’s the part of this that bothers me so much. Was this really what you wanted, and the ‘we mock them because we love them’ tones of the earlier posts and responses unsatisfying to you?
I’m a total Alton and Batali fan myself (with a side helping of Ming Tsai; I live in Boston and try, once a year, to go to Blue Ginger and blow $150 on a meal). I’m not really defending Rachael at all; can’t stand her show and loved this site for the way it mocked her *as a cooking show host*. But this mocks her….well, as a person who supports someone she cares about doing something he loves, even if he’ll never be a superstar.
Is that really what you were trying to do?
I agree! I love this site and think its hysterical no matter what is posted regarding the “celebrities”
Rachel Rays has no talent and I don’t know how she ever got a show! HER Husband is gross! The Neely’s don’t even know how to use a knife and chop anything correctly. Guy Fieri is disgusting and I can’t stand to look at him prepare anything with all of his jewelry on his sausage fingers…speaking of sausage fingers….Rachel Ray has them too and I find it difficult to watch her “massage” her food with them. I am so bored with the “next food network star” and was hoping they could atleast find some better material to replace most of the talent-less shows!
Did Candus send you?
You know, Thespian, the door is <== that way.
Actually, Thespian has a point, and I think it’s a good one. I watched that video myself and Rachel, while not an expert dancer, didn’t really embarrass herself THAT badly. Reading some of these comments, you’d have thought she lurched around like Frankenstein’s monster and mouthed off-key lyrics to entirely different songs than the ones being played. But actually she didn’t do anything that I’d be willing to bet most of us haven’t done on a night out in a nightclub; most of us don’t know all the words to songs when we sing along and most of us aren’t expert dancers but like to rock out to the beat. She just happened to be taped. I imagine if you were taped, you’d look just as bad or worse. So give the lady a break and mock her as a cooking show host, at which, I agree, she is abysmal. i’m no fan of Rachel Ray, by the way; I won’t watch her shows, and I despise her recipes. I received one of her cookbooks as a gift, and I had to modify the one recipe I do use out of it. It’s full of made-up words and references to Isaboo, too, which irritate me no end. But on this I’m giving her a pass.
I say, hear, hear Jillian! This post is brilliant! We need to see the “other side” of FN “stars” (and I use that term “stars” loosely since my dog can s*it out better looking food than some of these people can make on TV!)
Thank you Jillian for putting a smile in all of our days. You are brilliant and talented and I thank you for this website!
This video of Rachael Ray dancing reminded me of Elaine Benes on Seinfeld doing her convulsion dance. Painful to watch, but oh, so funny!
WHY do we need to see the “other side” of FN stars? Let’s critique them for their cooking and hosting abilities; that gives us lots to work with, right there!
You know, if you don’t like the content here, you are certainly free to leave and make your own website where you can dictate what is posted.
See how easy that is?
It’s probably just the video but her does her ass look gigantic or what? Second only to her gaping mouth. I have to hand it to her, though, for not getting red wine all over her shirt with all that spazzing around. Do bands really cover that stupid Sedated song anymore?
Did anyone notice Guy Ferry’s “hair” behind RR in the opening part of this video?
Oh God…do you think it finally made a break for it? If so, WHY would it go to this shit-fest? Probably just so used to being around crap.
How do you host a soundcheck? Sibilance! Sibilance! One, two. One, two. Check, check, check.
Yes that was Daisy of Viva Daisy she is mobbed up with the Ray/Cusimano gang they produce her show now that she left PBS. Watch out for her. I know her or should say I knew her. She is fucking nuts!! Talk about a grabbing attention whore!
I remember a night at SOB’s in the early nineties when this “mother and wife” ( she trots the family out now for the new show)stood on the tables lifting up her skirt while men threw ice cubes at her crotch. That was when she has long blond hair down to the middle of her back and a heavy Rosie Perez accent. She also went on Oprah and sat in the audience talking about the problems in her marriage ANYTHING for attention.
These two together are bile inducing.
There’s video of Rachel’s very white dancing and no video of crotch skeeball?
What is the world coming to?
Where can I find that video?! I could use a good laugh.
Who the hell dances with their hands in their pockets? If you’re not sure what to do with you hands, maybe you shouldn’t be dancing in the first place.
The video caught me on the way out, it took me all day to lose the red faced douche, I certainly wasn’t going to stick around and groove with a raspy, stumpy word truncator!
We can only hope that Rachael screaming “I wanna be sedated” comes true one day….Save that sound bite and play it to the “authorities” at a convenient time!