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THE FOOD NETWORK DRINKING GAME
Posted on March 5th 2010 by Jillian Madison

FNH proudly presents:

THE INTERNET’S LARGEST FOOD NETWORK DRINKING GAME!
“One drink” means “one sip” of whatever beverage you’re drinking. This is a work of satire, so play responsibly and have fun!

1 drink if Ina Garten is wearing her denim shirt. 2 drinks if she’s wearing her black shirt. Bonus drink if the collar is popped.
1 drink if Ina Garten is making food for a dinner party. 2 drinks if at least one of them is gay. 5 drinks if none of them are named Steven.
1 drink every time Ina asks a stupid rhetorical question (example: “How bad can that be?” or “How easy is that?”)
1 drink whenever Ina refers to any ingredient as “GOOD.”
Drink continually throughout each Ina Garten giggle session.
2 drinks every time Ina takes her Mercedes out for a spin.
1 drink if Ina uses a “secret ingredient” to bring out a recipe’s flavor. Bonus drink if she mentions “turning the volume up.”
3 drinks every time Ina mentions “chicken” and “Jeffrey” in the same sentence.
1 drink each time a song that sounds like the Weather Channel local forecast music comes on Barefoot Contessa.
1 drink whenever hydrangeas are used as a centerpiece.
1 drink if Ina “air kisses” a friend on both cheeks.

1 drink every time Giada does the claw hand movement next to her face (usually indicating “creamy” but sometimes “crunchy”).
1 drink whenever Giada pauses to smile at the camera out of nowhere.
2 drinks whenever Aunt Raffi shows up. 3 drinks if her cleavage is more visible than Giada’s.
1 drink for every lemon Giada zests.
1 drink every time Giada says “perfect!”
2 drinks every time Giada says “and thennnnnnnnn…” in that sing-songy voice.
1 drink whenever Giada over-enunciates an Italian word.
3 drinks if Giada’s husband Todd shows up looking bored out of his mind.
1 drink if there’s an up-close shot of Giada ripping open a clove of garlic.
1 drink every time Giada says something is “nice and crispy on the outside and soft and chewy on the inside.”

1 drink every time Sandra Lee says “flavorful.” 1 extra drink if she uses the word “delicious” in the same sentence.”
1 drink every time Sandra Lee takes a drink.
Drink continually while Sandra Lee adds “just a little vodka” to that cocktail.
1 drink every time Sandra Lee says, “and can I just tell you . . .”
1 drink every time Sandra Lee says “I can not WAIT for you to try this.”
2 drinks if Sandra’s shirt is the same color as her Kitchen-Aid stand mixer.
1 drink if you can spot an actual plate on one of Sandra’s tablescapes.
1 drink every time Sandra Lee says “super simple.” 2 drinks if she says the word “super” twice (“SUPER SUPER SIMPLE!”)
1 drink every time Sandra uses Cool Whip. 2 drinks if she adds extract or food coloring to it.
1 drink every time Sandra opens a seasoning packet and tells you it contains “all sorts of great flavors.”
4 drinks if Sandra’s making one of her No-Bake Love Cakes (or puts store-bought cupcakes or cookies on a store-bought cake).


1 drink if Guy’s sunglasses are on the back of his neck.
1 drink if Guy’s wearing flip-flops in a restaurant kitchen on DDD.
1 drink whenever Guy says, “look at those bad boys.”
1 drink every time Guy is “on the bus to flavor town.”
2 drinks if Guy claps his hands and points at the camera.
Finish your drink whenever Guy uses rhyming nonsense words (eg. “This sandwich is slamma-jamma!”).
1 drink if Guy’s wearing a black sweatband. 2 drinks if it looks dirty or unwashed.
1 drink if Guy is wearing a tacky bowling shirt. 2 drinks if it has flames drawn on it.

1 drink every time Rachael Ray says  the word “sammies”.
1 drink every time Rachael says “EVOO.” 2 drinks if she then explains it stands for “extra virgin olive oil.”
3 drinks if Rachael mentions that she always “burns the bread.”
1 drink whenever Rachael tells you the meaning of “oregano” in Greek. Take a bonus drink if she, in the same episode, tells you that her “in-laws like the flavor of garlic, but don’t like pieces of garlic in their food.”
1 drink every time Rachael reminds you that “stoup” is thicker than soup, and thinner than stew.
1 drink whenever Rachael carries more than 6 things to her work counter. 2 drinks if she drops something along the way.
1 drink every time Rachael overfills a pot of water in the sink because she forgot about it.
1 drink whenever Rachael tells you to “get the pan screamin’ hot.”
1 drink if John Cusimano (Rachael’s husband) shows up looking unshowered.
Finish your drink if Rachael’s wearing a unitard tucked into a pair of mom jeans with a black belt.

1 drink every time Alton Brown makes a recipe you’ll never be able to replicate.
1 drink every time Alton says, “But that’s for another show…”
1 drink whenever Alton uses styrofoam balls to represent food at the molecular level.
1 drink whenever Alton is shot through his FRIDGE CAM.
2 drinks if one of Alton’s family members show up.
3 drinks if you see his Welch’s grape juice commercial.  Finish your drink if you see it more than once in a half hour.

1 drink every time Paula Deen says “y’all”.
1 drink for each tablespoon of butter used by Paula Deen (that’s 8 drinks per stick of butter, y’all).
1 drink whenever Paula deep fries something. 2 drinks if she mentions she “just loves” her deep fryer.
1 drink if any dough, meat, or breading gets stuck to Paula’s rings.
3 drinks every time Paula Deen invites a woman on the show to try to fix up her son Bobby.
1 drink whenever Paula gropes a prop assistant during an episode of Paula’s Party.
1 drink if Michael Groover (Paula’s husband) shows up. 2 drinks if he gets food stuck in his beard.  3 drinks if he mumbles something incoherently.
3 drinks whenever Paula says the word PEE-kan (pecan).
Finish your drink if you see Paula in a Smithfield Ham commercial.

1 drink whenever Anne uses her Kermit The Frog voice.
1 drink every time Anne adds a handful of salt to a dish.
1 drink if Anne’s red clogs are clearly visible.
3 drinks if Anne mentions “brown food.”
1 drink every time Anne screams, “OOO-KAY.”
Finish your drink if Anne’s wearing a pink skirt.

1 drink whenever the Neely’s make a sexual innuendo. 2 drinks if it involves “brown sugar” or Gina’s ceramic pig.
1 drink every time Alex Guarnaschelli makes that squinty-eyed, constipated face.
1 drink if Michael Chiarello’s throwing a polenta party. Finish your drink drink if you actually see his wife there.
1 drink whenever Marc Summers awkwardly pauses while talking.
1 drink whenever Melissa d’Arabian mentions France or frozen bacon.
1 drink every time Robin Miller wears a tracksuit to give the impression of having a “busy” lifestyle.
1 drink every time Claire Robinson says “AMAZING.”
1 drink whenever Scott Conant says he hates raw onions.
1 drink if Bobby Flay loses a throwdown (bonus drink if he’s insulted in the process by his competitor).
1 drink if Bobby Flay’s man boobs are visible through a tight shirt.
1 drink whenever Aida Mollenkamp looks into the wrong camera.
1 drink whenever Sunny Anderson mentions Viva paper towels.
1 drink every time Sunny Anderson mentions her “army brat” days.
1 drink every time an Ace Of Cakes employee talks in a monotone voice.
1 drink whenever Mary Alice’s hair or Duff Goldman’s goatee changes style and/or color mid-episode.

1 drink every time a Chopped chef violates health codes (bleeding into the food, reusing a tasting spoon, etc.).  2 drinks if the judges eat it anyway.
1 drink every time a host mentions “smell-o-vision.”
5 drinks if Kerry Vincent is *NOT* wearing that hideous headband.
1 drink whenever someone is talking with their mouth full.
1 drink whenever a host tells you to salt the pasta water because “that’s the only time you can season the pasta itself.”
2 drinks anytime you see an episode of a show that has already been repeated 20 times.
1 drink if the Iron Chef secret ingredient is something you’ve never heard of before in your life.
1 drink if someone uses the ice cream machine on Iron Chef. Bonus drink if the flavor is something obscure (like salmon).
1 drink whenever someone uses the phrase “depth of flavor” or “flavor profile.”
1 drink every time you see a commercial for “The Best Thing I Ever Ate.”

(Thanks to everyone who contributed to this list! Did we miss something? Leave your new rules in the comments and we will update the post in the future.)


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---The Food Network Drinking Game: OPEN CALL FOR SUGGESTIONS
---The FNH Cupcake Wars Drinking Game
---5 Food Network Game Shows That Should Exist
---Chopped Champions: The Drinking Game
---The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game

    123 Responses

  1. Zach says:
    March 5, 2010 at 11:47 am

    LOL wow, you guys are actually planning on doing this?

    Reply
    • Betty Crocker says:
      March 5, 2010 at 5:59 pm

      You betcha, Zach! You’re on the forums, check it out. ;-)

      Reply
    • Gypsy Smith says:
      March 1, 2011 at 8:57 am

      Though a little late in terms of the timeliness of this feed, my husband and I follow the following drinking “rules”:

      1 drink for hearing the following:

      1. “Konbanwa”
      2. “Assertive”
      3. “Bold flavors”
      4. “Creme fraiche”
      5. “Application” (The Flay vs. Ben Ford episode will put you under the table on this one!)
      6. “Overpowering”
      7. “Ramekin”

      Cheers!

      Reply
  2. bon appetit says:
    March 5, 2010 at 11:53 am

    So many rules, so little liquor…time to go shopping!

    Reply
  3. Drew says:
    March 5, 2010 at 11:56 am

    No, no, no! You have obviously stacked the rules. No one could make it through a single episode, much less an entire “In the Kitchen” block. Alcohol poisoning anyone? Plus you could condense the Sandra Lee rules to just “take a drink every time she does” and “2 drinks every time she pulls something out of the oven that looks like shit on a baking sheet.” Blasted in 30 mins

    Reply
  4. urban bohemian says:
    March 5, 2010 at 11:58 am

    I barely made it past the Ina Garten rules before realizing that this isn’t a drinking “game”, it’s alcohol-fueled suicide, plain and simple.

    Reply
  5. CherryRose says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    Who needs alcohol? I’m feeling tipsy from laughter! Lots of funny stuff – thanks everyone who contributed and to Jillian for consolidating our efforts. Cheers!

    Reply
  6. Jenny says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Take one drink any time a host has the food item already done.

    Reply
  7. Notsayinjustsayin says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Clearly some of my fellow commentors are not drinking game veterans.

    1 drink doesnt necessarily (and really shouldnt) = 1 shot.
    As referenced in certain rules- “finish your drink” indicates that indeed the other “1 drink/2 drink” are just sips or deep quaffs from your beverage- be it beer, a cocktail, whathaveyou. The basis of the game is based in the actual verb “drink”.

    For the harider folks tho, Im using shots will make one hell of a night!

    Reply
  8. Lady S says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    OMG. I’m gonna be in the floor after 5-10 minutes of DDD.

    Reply
  9. Boobilicious says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    I know I won’t be playing the Paula Deen drinking game! That would equal imminent death.

    Reply
  10. christellar says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    * STANDING OVATION *

    great project, bookmarked FO SHO

    LOL LMAO great stuff guys as usual

    Reply
  11. Scruffy says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Five drinks any time a host inaccurately tells you to sear meat to seal in juices.

    Reply
  12. Jules says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    Those were great!!

    Reply
  13. byrdie says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I’m gonna buy some stock in Budweiser, Jack Daniels and every vodka company in the world….I’m gonna be rich! Ina alone would be a couple of bottles of ‘good’ scotch….

    Reply
  14. Di says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Guess I’d better either
    A – turn off the TV, or
    B – hook up an alcohol IV

    Reply
  15. Gypsy says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Awesomeness!

    Reply
  16. Pam says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    wow, that was brilliant. The Robin Miller one just killed me!

    Reply
  17. Ray says:
    March 5, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Great, great stuff. :) Congrats to all who contributed to this.

    Reply
  18. Ray says:
    March 5, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    “1 drink every time Alex Guarnaschelli makes that squinty-eyed, constipated face.”

    One episode of Chopped and I’d be passed out on the floor, with a monumental hangover the next morning.

    Reply
  19. Betty Crocker says:
    March 5, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    You know we’re actually gonna do this over in the forums. Cheers, everyone! ;-)

    Reply
  20. annmartina says:
    March 5, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    I’ve watched 2 minutes of Ina (more than I’ve ever watched before) and I’m up to 4 drinks already!

    Reply
  21. Loren says:
    March 5, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    I would be long dead by the time I got through seeing any of Flay’s shows and Alton’s Good Eats. These are absolutely hilarious!

    Reply
  22. Lady Callahan says:
    March 5, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    My brother and I did this about five years ago. This is how I blogged it back then:

    “So while he was here, we played a little game. A little drinking game. We both watch Food Network. I had mentioned to him a while back that Giada DeLaurentis drives me crazy with her enunciation. Like? how she never modulates her voice? at the end of a sentence? everything is smooth? and creamy? and perfectly al dente? and you put some olive oil? into a pan? and that will get the sausage browning nicely? And do you know what? He took a slug? of beer? for every? non-ending sentence? and finished the beer? even before the first commercial break? at about an ounce a slug? that was 12? in less than three minutes?”

    Reply
  23. Diane says:
    March 5, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    LOL!

    Reply
  24. Dank Dillweed says:
    March 5, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    We’re all fucked when it comes to Guy Ferry, there’ll hardly be time to refill my glass, or even catch a breath!

    Perhaps an IV drip or just put my mouth under the tapper.

    Great stuff!

    Reply
  25. Charles Anderson says:
    March 5, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    Point of Clarification:
    2 drinks if one of Alton’s family members show up.

    Are those his REAL family members (mom, grandma, wife, daughter), or his TV family members?

    Reply
    • Judith says:
      March 5, 2010 at 3:14 pm

      That was his real grandma, and the little blond girl is his daughter, all the rest are actors. In fact the woman who plays his sister showed up on a Pepto Bismol ad playing a mother driving a car.

      Reply
      • Di says:
        March 5, 2010 at 3:30 pm

        My favorite family member is BA, Alton’s evil twin.
        Wish we’d see more of him. Wonder if he lost 50 lbs. like his brother ;)

        Reply
  26. lostinplace says:
    March 5, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    1 drink every time T-Flo says something’s flavor is “off the charts!!!!!”

    Reply
  27. Maitri says:
    March 5, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    You missed all of the Tyler Florence stuff!

    “All right” (seriously, he says “All right” twenty times an episode under his breath)
    “light as a cloud”
    “Boom”

    Reply
  28. Jp says:
    March 5, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I know what I’m doing this weekend! :D

    Reply
  29. Allen says:
    March 5, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    this game got me drunk after just five minutes *burp*

    Reply
  30. FoodieOne says:
    March 5, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    Holy cow! I’ll never be sober again for the rest of my life. Nicely done, as usual, Jillian!

    Reply
  31. Slow Cooker (for a reason!) says:
    March 5, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Julia would have been an ace at this one!!!

    Reply
  32. Lara says:
    March 5, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    Let’s steal one from Bravo:
    Drink every time someone says: I didn’t come here to make friends.

    Reply
  33. Numb says:
    March 5, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    “Finish your drink whenever Guy uses rhyming nonsense words (eg. “This sandwich is slamma-jamma!”).”

    OMG my suggestion became official, verbatim even! I feel so honored!

    Reply
  34. Numb says:
    March 5, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Also, I’m sure it goes without saying, but please make sure you’re using the GOOD hooch when playing the Ina game.

    Reply
    • Sandra Lee's Liver says:
      March 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm

      Also, take a swig everytime Ina uses BUTTER or CREAM in one of her recipes. How is it that she doesn’t have clogged arteries?

      Reply
  35. CherryRose says:
    March 5, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    “How is it that she doesn’t have clogged arteries?”

    Unless you’re Ina’s physician, how do you know that she doesn’t have butter/cream/cheese-clogged arteries? Mazel Tov!

    Reply
  36. Olive says:
    March 5, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    Chopped: – 1 drink anytime a contestant serves undercooked meat unintentionally. 2 drinks if they say that can’t serve it, but do anyway.
    - Finish your drink if a contestant forgets/doesn’t use an ingredient.

    Food Network: – 1 drink for every chocolate or cleaning commercial they play.
    - 1 drink every time they have an ad for another show in the corner of a show. 2 if it includes a picture of Guy Fieri.

    Paula Deen: – 1 drink if Paula makes a salad that is not remotely like a salad. 2 drinks if she puts whipped cream on top of it.

    Reply
  37. Chris says:
    March 5, 2010 at 9:44 pm

    1 drink when a 5 to 10 year old show that was canceled a long time ago shows up after 3 am or before 9 am because FN is still contractually obligated to broadcast it.

    Reply
    • Ray says:
      March 6, 2010 at 8:24 pm

      And why do I get the feeling a show that old would be better than most of what they run as new shows today? But, I can’t say for sure, as I haven’t had cable that long.

      Reply
      • Chris says:
        March 7, 2010 at 3:23 am

        They were much better, which is why they were canceled because they were educational, as opposed to entertaining the populace into ignorance and sloth

        Reply
  38. CEQ says:
    March 5, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    Been reading for awhile, decided to finally post… Take one drink everytime Guy says what the “kicker” is in a dish on DD&D.

    Reply
  39. Jason Reichert says:
    March 5, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    The only place you can play this game is inside a liquor superstore….the only place with enough liquor to supply this game for more than one hour.

    Reply
    • Flyingroo says:
      March 6, 2010 at 5:57 pm

      I would think the only place would be inside of a hospital…that way you’re close to the iron liver and kidneys!

      Reply
  40. Patrina says:
    March 5, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    Take one drink when Gina Neely decides to reminisce about “back in the day” with Pat and whatever threesomes she had with his brothers.

    Reply
  41. Spatuler says:
    March 6, 2010 at 1:50 am

    If we all followed those drinking rules, most of us would need to check into rehab within a month, or less. Too easy.

    Reply
  42. chefcatt says:
    March 6, 2010 at 10:34 am

    You need a drink for “low and slow” it seems to be the favorite of all the chefs now

    Reply
  43. Angel says:
    March 6, 2010 at 11:57 am

    (Food Network Humor Rule)

    10 Drinks every time Jillian insults Guy Fieri (LOL)

    Reply
  44. Flyingroo says:
    March 6, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    Ok Jillian, tell the truth now, you work for the liquor industry, right?!? ;-p

    Reply
  45. Beth says:
    March 6, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Tyler Florence: “it smells fantastic” “looks fantastic” “fantastic”

    basically, every time he says fantastic. be wasted in no time!

    Reply
  46. bud3245 says:
    March 7, 2010 at 2:23 am

    Awesome list. I felt like there could be more Anne Burrell stuff though. Here’s my list for her:

    1 drink every time she says “good things are happening” to the food

    1 drink every time she says “alright, let’s talk about ___”

    2 drinks every time she does an awkward dance

    Reply
    • valeri1274 says:
      March 7, 2010 at 10:06 am

      yeah and “shooting match”!!! today there was a “shooting match” in the onion soup pot and one in the “pickled peppers” and one somewhere else … can’t remember but it was, but there were at least three “shooting matches” at Anne k Corral i mean anne burrell and i tuned in halfway thru the show…

      Reply
    • Bravo says:
      March 9, 2010 at 8:49 am

      Or “Thank you for coming”

      Reply
  47. vinfan says:
    March 7, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    How could you have missed “That’s MONEY!” for Guy Fieri? Seriously, has anyone ever heard that word used that way before?
    And Gina Neeley playing the “spice fairy”?
    And do Paula’s family members (including the dogs) get paid if they appear in an episode?

    Reply
  48. Celina says:
    March 7, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    1 drink whenever Alton “brings something to the party;” 2 drinks if it turns out to be “golden brown and delicious.”

    Reply
    • I Heart Drinking Games says:
      November 14, 2010 at 1:04 am

      Brilliant addition. Also might I suggest the following:

      1 Drink every time Thing hands AB something.
      1 Drink per alliteration.
      1 Drink when AB says “thusly”.
      1 Drink if AB says “AB Speak”.
      1 Drink when AB inevitably reminds us to measure flour “by weight, please.”
      2 Drinks if the burping yeast sock puppets turn up.
      3 Drinks if AB explains that cinnamon is really cassia.

      Reply
  49. Stephanie says:
    March 7, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    For Giada you forgot to say, “Take a drink every time she says something is ‘so pretty’, as in, ‘I love it! Isn’t it pretty?’”

    Reply
  50. B says:
    March 7, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    1 drink every time Alton Brown uses kosher salt.

    Reply
  51. Catherine says:
    March 8, 2010 at 12:16 am

    “1 drink if the Iron Chef secret ingredient is something you’ve never heard of before in your life” – I think this should be for Chopped as well.

    Scott mentioning he hates raw onions – lol. He does mention it a lot!

    Reply
  52. tory1 says:
    March 8, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Can ANYONE tell me why you would want to watch a bad cook get worse ????? I got drunk just looking at these people. Please spare us this disaster show or I could end up in AA

    Reply
  53. Mixie says:
    March 8, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    Ha. My friend and I watch Barefoot Contessa and Down Home with the Neely’s every day. A few months ago we made a drinking game out of those two shows alone, so naturally I was excited when I saw this!

    Here are a few of ours:
    - Take 1 drink for every time the Neely’s add Cayenne pepper to a dish. Take two if Gina sings it.
    - Take 2 drinks every time Gina busts out the SPICE FAIRY.
    - Take 2 for every time Gina cheers like a freaking cheerleader.
    - Take 1 drink every time Pat does his creepy old man laugh.
    - Take 1 drink every time Pat and Gina give marriage advice.
    - Take 1 drink every time Ina Garten uses a 1 teaspoon salt to 1/2 teaspoon pepper ratio.

    Reply
    • Angela says:
      March 9, 2010 at 11:00 am

      I have a few more rules to add for the Neely’s
      1 drink for anytime their daughter’s Shelbi and Spencer appear
      2 drinks if they look em-brassed as hell to be there.
      1 drink if Pat’s man boobs are showing through those too tight shirts he wears.
      1 drink when they “remix” an “old school” recipe of their family members.

      Reply
  54. dkangelmykal says:
    March 8, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    OK, I’ve just made my reservations for rehab. Spring break and this game…here we go!!!

    Reply
  55. Matthew says:
    March 9, 2010 at 11:12 am

    I guess if I watch FN, I will be as screwed up as Ke$ha on her song Tick Tok!!

    Reply
  56. Jenn says:
    March 9, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    I have to throw one in for every time Sandra Lee over enunciates her Ls.
    “Let’s grab some llllllllemons and some lllllllimes.”

    Reply
    • Greg H says:
      August 23, 2010 at 7:45 pm

      THAT’s the one I’ve been looking for on here!!! Nice job Jenn. Can’t believe everybody missed that one…like “mixing the ingredients alllllllllllllll together.”

      Reply
  57. Bad Vanilla says:
    March 9, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    Ina: Drink when she mentions that arugula is “peppery”.

    Reply
  58. T. says:
    March 9, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Take a drink everytime Sandra Lee misenunciates:

    Take the casserole OUT OF the oven. Pour the vodka INTO the glass. Put the booze ONTO the couter.

    Reply
  59. Lena says:
    March 9, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    1 drink for every time Marc Summers makes a horrible pun.

    Reply
  60. hottody says:
    March 9, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    Funny stuff.
    I tip my glass whenever Rachel Ray informs me that:
    -She ALWAYS keeps ______ on-hand (fill in the blank with ANY food-spice-condiment-random-ingredient).
    -Features burgers
    And whenever she says
    -”MMM-mmm-MMM-MMM-mmm!”
    -”Yumm-o!”

    Reply
  61. pynkie says:
    March 10, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    So my boyfriend and I decided to try this out last night (yeah, a Tuesday). We don’t have cable, so we streamed FN from the interwebs. First thing on was Everyday Italian where Giada was making SPA-GIT-HE,and BRU-SKET-AH. She also opened a garlic and the camera zoomed in. I was really hoping she would do the claw thing, but she didn’t. We also watched 1 recipe of Paula Dean who used a CUP of butter. 4- 40oz malt liquors and 2 margaritas later (between the two of us, I should clarify), my boyfriend is having a rough day at work.

    Reply
  62. Aimee says:
    March 10, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    One drink every time sandra lee ‘pops’ something: pop this in the oven, pop those in the mixer, pop it in the bowl/on the plate, etc. You’ll be trashed by the end of the first russipe!

    Reply
    • Gail says:
      June 17, 2012 at 12:55 pm

      1 drink every time she says “russipie.” Also, 1 drink eveyr time she says “beautiful.” THAT’S the killer right there. I tried this with her “Holiday Cocktail Party” and ended up with about 25 drinks, half of which came from “beautiful.”

      Reply
  63. Margaret S. says:
    March 11, 2010 at 7:55 am

    I think Ina drives a BMW and not a Mercedes….Do I get to have a drink for knowing that?

    Reply
  64. Langmick says:
    March 11, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Chug a beer if Robert Irvine makes a fart-smell face at some stupid request.

    Slam a shot whenever Bobby Flay decides to go “Asian”.

    Chug a beer than slam a shot whenever a throwdown contestant talks smack in a white-bread sort of suburban weeny way.

    Chug a beer, slam a shot and snort a line of detergent whenever Guy takes a bite of something then shuts his yapper.

    Chug a beer, take a hit of acid, slam a shot and do more coke if you see Mario Batali perspiring profusely and on the verge of a anudder heart attack.

    Chug a beer, take a bong hit and eat some shrooms if you hear an Iron Chef judge say they can’t taste enough of the secret ingredient of the dish, even if the secret ingredient is paper towels and it’s dessert they are eating (Keyshawn Johnson).

    Reply
  65. Michelle O. says:
    March 12, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    My hubby and I played one during DDD one night. Take a drink every time Guy says “That’s money!” We were wasted by the second commercial break!

    Reply
  66. Thomas Fraser says:
    March 14, 2010 at 8:47 am

    Where was this game during last season’s “Next Food Network Star”?

    One drink every time Debbie Lee reminds you that she is Korean.

    Reply
  67. Lindsey R. says:
    March 14, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    I really think this is the most hilarious thing I have ever read. Got the Food Network on right now, I just need my drink of choice :P

    Reply
  68. Ina's ego says:
    March 23, 2010 at 11:12 am

    My best friend and I played the Ina drinking game and we wore black and denim shirts with the collars popped. We could barely keep up with The game and our fake champagne!

    Reply
  69. Amanda says:
    March 23, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    One drink whenever Alton plays a character with a ridiculous accent.

    Two drinks if a Food Network Challenge features some sort of outdoor meat cooking competition.

    Reply
  70. REKS says:
    March 24, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    LOL..OMG I was trashed in the first 10 min of Ina barefoot contessa episode

    Reply
  71. Chuckers says:
    April 1, 2010 at 3:20 am

    The only person who could win this hilarious drinking game would be Sandra Lee, of course.

    Reply
  72. kt says:
    May 22, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    I am playing Ina Garden, added 1 drink per fabulous. 1 1/2 deep. (It’s the music!)
    OK, How about in the general area every time a food network “personality” grossly abuses or missuses the word caramelized or caramelization.
    Really, I have grown to despise the word caramelized and created my own Pee Wee Herman Word of the Day sort of response to it. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  73. Mike says:
    July 14, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    some more rules for anne burrell!
    1 drink every time she says something is beautiful, or can be used beautifully.
    1 drink every time she says “shootin’ match!”

    Reply
  74. Kimmer says:
    August 7, 2010 at 12:46 am

    Add 1 drink anytime someone says to set aside ingredients
    “so they can marry”.

    Giada saying “PASS-TA”

    Reply
  75. Greg H says:
    August 23, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    This is a brilliant and entertaining list. Thanks to all those who contributed.

    Reply
  76. bp8 says:
    September 25, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    drink every time alton says “oh bother”

    Reply
  77. Mark says:
    November 6, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    1 drink for every time someone on NFNS is asked about their “culinary point of view.”

    Reply
  78. amber says:
    November 12, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    One drink everytime alton says “uh” or “ummm”

    One drink every time rachael says “s&p, salt and pepper”

    One each time guy explains the stance when eating a large sandwich

    One each time tyler says “absolutely fantastic”

    Reply
  79. Fred says:
    November 12, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    Haha! what about take a drink whenever anne burell says she’s a “happy happy girl” or says “helloooo” to her food

    Reply
  80. Ryan says:
    November 16, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    A drink for every time RayRay says “need it twice, chop it once”
    A round of shots if an episode of Semi Homemade is a kid’s party for her nieces/nephews (an extra shot if she makes an “adult” version of the kiddie cocktail for herself)
    A drink every time Barefoot Contessa has a really out-of-place plot or awkward duologue

    This is a really wonderful list, yet has led me to wonder what would happen if my friends made a drinking game out of me.

    Reply
  81. Your Name says:
    November 20, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    1 drink on DDD when guy makes that akward orgasm sounding noise and has his mouth open whenever he eats something thats “money”

    Reply
  82. Your Name says:
    November 22, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    how about one drink for every time ina garten breathes extrememly loud into her microphone?

    Reply
  83. Chris says:
    December 22, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    A drink every time Ina uses her BlackBerry?

    Reply
  84. Mac says:
    December 30, 2010 at 7:22 am

    Jah Dah’s should really include “crunchy crust”. This list should also have the in general rule about cooking pasta “al dente”, especially since they usually advocate fresh pasta that, in fact, does not cook “al dete”-y. But over all wonderful game. I feel drunk just reading it.

    Reply
  85. Queenjane says:
    December 30, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    How about every time:

    Anne Burrell says “I rock.”

    Bobby Flay gets chipoltle in something

    Paula Deen shamelessly promotes her family and its businesses

    Ina makes that desert with the meringues, berries and whipped cream

    Ina’s Jersey accent pops up amid the long, drawn out vowels of the Hamptons

    Alton Brown starts a show with a bad skit.

    Reply
  86. Liz says:
    January 21, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    You should add one drink everytime Sandra Lee says “decadent”

    Reply
  87. Breakfast for Dinner: Barefoot’s Challah French Toast « Mm Nom Nom says:
    March 7, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    [...] She lives in East Hampton. She has her own herb garden. She only wears crisp button down shirts, mostly in a blue denim or white (honestly, the woman’s closet must be full of blue denim shirts). And most importantly, she loves to ask rhetorical questions like, “How easy is that?” or “And who doesn’t want a fresh lemon tart with mascarpone topping in the morning?” If Paula Deen is the queen of fried food and butter, Ina Garten is the queen of elegant dinner parties with hydrangea centerpieces. [For a fun drinking game involving all your favorite Food Network stars, see here.] [...]

    Reply
  88. Rachael says:
    March 12, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    1 drink every time Anne says olive earl

    1 drink whenever Alton mentions the word canadian before saying Kevin Brauch

    Reply
  89. blu_mem says:
    July 14, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    Take a drink every time Giada says, “There we go.”

    Reply
  90. Nina says:
    September 13, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    Anne Burrell
    - 1 drink every time she says the garlic has “fulfilled its garlic destiny.”

    Reply
  91. maria says:
    September 26, 2011 at 3:36 am

    5 drinks every time Paula and her goofy son have their “mmmmmm, mmmm, MMM, mmmmm!” moments simultaneously! Pretty freeking creepy and I have to turn away.
    The rest of the bottle whenever Michael Groover shows up and mumbles something then toddles off so everyone can laugh at the adorable I just need attention stupid ass thing he just said.
    2 drinks and maybe a shot for every time Ina does that nervous laugh with the little intake of more nervous breath!
    1 shot and a double vodka for every time they show Jeffrey being “surprised” by something Ina has whipped up for him — SURPRISE JEFFREY! I’m leaving you in good hands with the freezer all weekend!

    Reply
  92. Kathryn says:
    October 11, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    Drink the whole bottle if none of the people Ina invites over are gay.

    Drink if Sandra Lee’s curtains match her top. Drink two if the curtains have a floral pattern.

    Drink if Ted Allen is wearing a patterned shirt under his suit. Drink two if his tie is pastel colored.

    Reply
  93. Carolyn in KC (BEST BBQ ON THE PLANET) says:
    October 24, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    ALTON BROWN RULES CONTINUED:

    Do a shot if the episode title is a spin on a movie. Do two shots if it is a spin on a song.

    Yell the name of the show and take a drink at the appropriate time at the beginning of the episode.

    Do a shot if Alton uses the “temperature gun”.

    Take a drink when Alton is called, “AB”.

    Drink when Alton uses the term, “Multitasker”. Drink twice when Alton uses the term, “Unitasker”. Do a shot if you just bought a Unitasker within the last week. Do two shots if Alton shows you a drawer/cupboard full of Unitaskers.

    Do a shot if Alton has used at least one item from the hardware store in the making of the recipe. Do two shots if Alton added tin foil to the item from the hardware store.

    Take a drink if the sock-yeast puppets show up. Drink twice if they belch at least once. Do a shot if they belch twice.

    Do a shot when the “feds” are shown and a law/statute/ordinance is then recited by Alton. Do two shots if Alton takes off his dark sunglasses during this scene.

    Take a drink when Alton uses salt from the glass vessel with the metallic top. Take two drinks if he slams the top shut afterward.

    Drink when Alton says the “wet team is added to the dry team”.

    Drink when Alton uses the terms “hot box” and/or “chill chest”. Drink again if both of these terms are used within 5 minutes of each other.

    Take a drink if the item Alton made was originally for dinner, but Alton suggests you might want to try it for breakfast. Take two drinks if the item was originally for breakfast, but Alton suggests you try it for dinner. Do a shot if he suggests you have it with ice cream.

    Take a drink if the white ceramic chicken is on Alton’s kitchen counter; take two drinks if he is holding the chicken; take three drinks if the chicken is found in some other location during the episode.

    Take a drink when Alton reminds you at which temperature salmonella bacteria are killed.

    Drink when Alton reminds you not to over stir due to gluten.

    Take a drink if the painting of the roasted chicken wearing the bowler (derby) hat is shown. Take two drinks if someone in the episode is wearing a bowler (derby) hat. Do a shot if Alton is wearing the bowler (derby) hat.

    Take a drink if you recognize a prop that was also used in a previous episode. Take two drinks if you can name one of the recipes from that episode.

    Drink if Alton extols the virtues of parchment paper. Take two drinks when the parchment paper is cut to fit the pan/vessel.

    Drink when colored chalk is used on the blackboard. Drink twice when two different colors are used…three if three different colors…etc.

    Drink when the instructions involve ramekins and a water bath.

    Drink the total number of times that a kitchy piece of pop culture was presented during the episode.

    Drink twice if Alton has a glass of wine in the scene at the end of the episode, where he has sat down to eat the fruits of his labor.

    Reply
  94. Miss Jill says:
    February 17, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    Take a drink every time Giada uses the word light to describe something. Two drinks if the said something is fried.

    Reply
  95. Gail says:
    June 17, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    1 drink every time Sandra says “How beautiful is this!” or “Isn’t that beautiful?”

    Reply
  96. ginaraquel says:
    July 29, 2012 at 2:11 am

    Ina’s game–hilarious. I would also add one shot every time she says “earthy” or “casual”–you’ll be drunk in 10 minutes.

    Reply
  97. BR says:
    October 26, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    Don’t forget :

    Guy’s “winner, winner, chicken dinner”

    Ina adding coffee to chocolate “you don’t really taste it” (yes you do, Ina)

    Ina’s florist Michael wears a neon colored sweater

    Reply

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