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Guy Fieri Doesn’t Know Where To Sell His Knuckle Sandwich “Knifes”
---Is Rachael Ray’s Santoku Rocker The Ugliest Knife Of All Time?
---Guy Fieri’s On Twitter
---Meat & Potatoes Geography Fail
---Cal State Disses Guy Fieri
Twitter Conversations »
Guy Fieri Doesn’t Know Where To Sell His Knuckle Sandwich “Knifes”
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Um, how about outside an elementary school, so one of the 3rd graders can teach you how to spell “knives?”
What sort of chef doesn’t know the difference between KNIFE and KNIVES? You’ve got to be KNIDDING ME.
(via Guy Ferry’s Twitter)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Guy Fieri Knuckle Sandwich Knives---Is Rachael Ray’s Santoku Rocker The Ugliest Knife Of All Time?
---Guy Fieri’s On Twitter
---Meat & Potatoes Geography Fail
---Cal State Disses Guy Fieri
- Twitter Conversations
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(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved








THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.





67 Responses
Well, at least his userpic is money.
Yes, it’s kind of Slamma-Jamma, isn’t it?
Douche, apparently he has some sort of appeal that talented chefs don’t.
I think he’s appealing because everyone feels less stupid when he’s around.
A la going to Wal-Mart. I feel like the biggest stud on the face of the Earth among those people.
And I feel positively waifish!
And I feel like the sexiest gal of all time, despite not feeling waifish! ;^)
heh… great observation, Alex.
This is too coincidental because just earlier tonight I was wondering which FN “personality” I would love to give MY knuckle sandwich to (yes, I actually was thinking “knuckle sandwich”) Swear to god. And yes, it was Guy, as always. Color me freakin’ out a little bit over here. I think I need a vacation from FNH for a while. Yikes.
I think he should sell them in a facility for the blind. That way, no one will know how hideous the freaking things are.
They are pretty ugly, aren’t they.
Now I’m intrigued and want to know who you are.
Sorry. Can’t Say Who I Am.
Dollar store much?
Sadly, his survey doesn’t have that option, or I would have voted for it. Either the Dollar store, Big Lots, or the area flea market.
Why would you insult the Dollar Store and Big Lots like that? They do have some standards…haha
LOL I was going to say there must be a flea market somewhere around Santa Rosa. Come to think of it, Santa Rosaians probably have too much taste for that. Mebbe out of the back of a pickup in a parking lot on Wilson Way in Stockton? I bet there are a lot of potential knife buyers in the area.
Are those the hideous ones where he ripped of the New England Patriots’ design?
Justin, closer to the Houston Texans logo.
Guy’s learned how to use bit.ly. I’m so fucking proud of him.
Not so fast, Lana! I’m pretty sure Twitter automatically shortens links for people now.
Do you REALLY think Guy Ferry would have the ability to copy a link URL, find his way to bit.ly, paste the URL, generate a shorter URL, copy it, and then re-paste it in Twitter?
I DOUBT IT!
Bwahahahaha!
Guy Fieri needs to get punched in his vagina.
You insult all of us with vajayjays…vajazzled or not……HAH! ;^p
LOL cloverleaf! I’m gonna get some Lee press-on rhinestones for my poontang!
You, and Kathy Griffin. ;)
Yeah……my Vagina totally resents that!!!!
The problem is finding someone who is willing to get that close to a douchey vagina.
I want to slap him for the misspelling, but I also want to slap him for using the term “411.” Can I get two slaps, please?
mystie, do you have two hands? ;)
Meet the year 2010, Guy.
I ‘think” I remember 411 in the 80′s.
well it’s no better than tyler florence’s horrible grammar…
Oh yes, and his “decedent” brownies. What a tool.
How about MetroKitchen.com?
There’s an ad for that website on this page with a picture of a knife on it.
Free shipping!
sTOopId iS as sTOopId dOEs.
I bet those suckers would sell like hotcakes in a trailer park or in the parking lot of a wrestling match. He’d be making money hand over fist!
I think that’s the best suggestion yet. And he might as well get comfy at the trailer park – when his 15 minutes are up he’ll need someone to turn to.
Agreed!
It doesn’t surprise me one bit. The guy’s a MORON.
A slammajammarammalammadingdong moron, mind you.
Funny, Ferd! Ha!
I’m sure a copycat Jeffrey Dahmer will show up with a use for!
Why not just toss the “knifes” into the audience on “Minute To Win It”? No one wants to buy Ferry’s knucklehead knives, but I’m sure his fans would love the freebies.
“Why not just toss the “knifes” into the audience on “Minute To Win It”?
Literally?! ;)
I’m not sure how effective that would be, aren’t some of the audience members actually cardboard pictures? Would be fun to watch in any event!
Better yet, have him toss a big ol’ handful of them straight up in the air over his head. And make sure he’s rooted in place so he can’t move. “Tonight, Guy gets a painful lesson in the law of gravity!”
WTF is a knuckle sandwich knife anyway??
A knife sold by a knucklehead like Guy Ferry.
Please neuter this asswipe now.
Too late, Sarah, he’s got demon seeds kids.
Gah with no edit button. “demon seed kids”.
It’s never too late.
Come on FN, where’s the Fieri package? FREE knuckle-knife when you buy a revolting bowling shirt, sweat bands, neck sunglasses, hair dye and gel and commemorative ‘bling’.
It also comes with a kick to the genitals.
Can we really be surprised?
I didn’t know he could just call Williams Sonoma and say “hey, sell my knives.”
I think they would probably say “uh, no.”
You know, I think Guy is literate enough to spell “knives” – but, on the other hand, I think he is dumb or disinterested enough to let illterate people speak for him on twitter.
Heh, can YOU spell “tomatoe” (D.Quayle)
Here’s a suggestion for Guy: You can sell your knifes at that depressing drive in movie/flea market on the south side that specializes naked Bratz dolls sold by the pail, Nazi memorabilia and misprinted WWJD bracelets.
Wait, maybe I am a dumbass but is there some inside joke behind Jillian’s spelling of “kidding”…she spelled it “knidding”. My inclination is to think that it is purposely misspelled since the whole post is a post about misspelling but I don’t know…I’m confused!!
You are not a dumbass but you have proven yourself as too naive to breed, therefore you will submit your genitalia upon the woodblock…you will now be neutered with a Guy Ferry K.H.K Special.
That’s all well and good but I’d like to see how you plan on neutering a female with “knifes”…Regardless, I am sure Sandra Lee could make a recipe out of the remains…
He makes me want to punch a puppy.
I’d like to go a couple of rounds with this piece of chit.
…is anyone else offended that he refers to himself as “ChefGuyFieri?” Who in the hell told this guy he was a chef?
Technically, I’m a chef too as I have cooked for other people once or twice.
In the second grade, a girl in my class mispronounced knife. She said, “Ka-nif.” She was humiliated by the teacher. I wish the same on Guy Fieri. Fucking toolbag.
I bet his parents named him “Guy” becaue it was easy for HIM to remember it, he doesn’t look like the brightest bulb out there