General: Food Network »
We’ve got some exciting news to report: Food Network Humor just inked a deal with Scripps Networks, the parent company of the Food Network! This partnership will give us the financial freedom to expand our community, and will enable us to reach a larger, more diverse audience via prime time television advertising.
Food Network Humor will continue to operate as usual, and I, Jillian Madison, will stay on as the lead blogger. There will, however, be a few key changes from this point forward:
1) There will be permanent ads for the Food Network, their shows, and/or Rachael Ray’s silicone bakeware in the blog sidebar, as well as in the header and footer.
2) I will no longer be allowed to make fun of Guy Fieri’s hair, Guy Fieri’s sunglasses, Guy Fieri’s clothing, or Guy Fieri’s penis.
3) I must reference VIVA paper towels daily.
4) I must travel to the Hamptons every other weekend to iron Ina Garten’s denim shirts.
5) I must YouTube a video of me writing “I will be nice to Aida Mollenkamp and Aaron McCargo” on a chalkboard 5,000 times.
6) Four words: Super Bowl at d’Arabian’s.
7) I will be required to use improper grammar and make at least 20 spelling errors per week, so that Guy Fieri’s fans may better be able to relate to the blog.
8) I will be contractually obligated to get my breasts enlarged, and must have a photo of me in a low-cut tank top prominently displayed on all pages – at all times.
Well, that’s about it. Oh, just one more thing… APRIL FREAKIN’ FOOLS! Ha! Did I have you guys going? Even for a second? Eh, probably not. As if this blog could exist without jokes about Guy Fieri’s penis!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---First Annual Food Network Humor Oscar Awards
---Food Network Humor Is Now 1 Year Old
---HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY from Food Network Humor
---Food Network Humor Monopoly Cards (Part 2)
- General: Food Network