NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.
The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game
---Chopped Champions: The Drinking Game
---The Food Network Drinking Game: OPEN CALL FOR SUGGESTIONS
---THE FOOD NETWORK DRINKING GAME
---The FNH Cupcake Wars Drinking Game
General: Food Network »
The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game
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After cringing my way through the second week of Private Chefs of Beverly Hills, I had an epiphany: THE SHOW IS SIMPLY NOT MEANT TO BE WATCHED WHILE SOBER.
And so, at the request of several chefs on the show, FNH proudly presents the Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game. For the 7 people out there who actually watch the show, please play responsibly and enjoy!
What am I missing? Leave your suggestions in the comments and I’ll update the post!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---FNH Review: Private Chefs Of Beverly Hills Might Be The “Worst” Show On “Television”---Chopped Champions: The Drinking Game
---The Food Network Drinking Game: OPEN CALL FOR SUGGESTIONS
---THE FOOD NETWORK DRINKING GAME
---The FNH Cupcake Wars Drinking Game
- General: Food Network
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
100 Responses
Name a FN show other than the one with Nigella Lawson that wouldn’t be enhanced by alcohol consumption. The rest of them suck.
Amen, brother.
Ooh, I disagree – Nigella’s show would be enhanced by alcohol… just in a different way! :-p
Yeah but Aunt Sandy’s already drunk out of dare I call it “mind” so there’s an exception
You may be waiting a while for suggestions… I don’t think anyone actually watches this.
Haven’t cared so much to watch this garbage. It’s no better than The Hills, but with less cheese.
<< laughing. Yeah, I didn't watch it either, so I don't get the jokes. However, I did get a few chuckles from the renaissance costumes.
Rock on, I’m in!!!!
haven’t seen this travesty yet but i’m all in for a wee bit of tippling and laughing at FN’s expense! (and it’s a veritable variety of badness from which to choose these days!)
ladies and gentlemen: turn on the telly and pour your libations, this is gonna be good!!!
Beware, lost! I’ve watched both episodes and it’s best to be “well-lubricated” before the show begins. *hic*
CL: thanks for the warning! i shall heed it (urp!) well!!!
(I posted a reply a few minutes ago. Didn’t post?)
*laughing* I didn’t watch either, so I don’t get the jokes. But I did have a few chuckles over the renaissance costumes.
Just thinking that I might have more entertaining things to do with my Friday night? Maybe?
At least the dorky kid from Can’t Buy Me Love has done etter than those losers. Wait till their clients see this and we’ll see if they will hire them back. Chances of that happening: LESS THAN ZERO!!!!
Don’t be jelouse because they have success and you dont. You need to get a life instead of putting other’s lives down…takes a loser to know a loser!
Melanie, this must be your first time on this site, eh? Just put down whatever you’re drinking and next time try some “correct spelling” juice.
Poor Melanie, resorting to such a weak attempt at an insult right off the bat. That’s the best you came up with? Yikes. Guess you didn’t give any speeches at graduation.
Find your wit, Mel. There’s nothing to be jelouse of.
I never really quite understood the logic behind “takes one to know one”. By Melanie’s logic, either both Jimbo and these chefs are all losers or all of them are not losers. And she says Jimbo needs to get a life (most likely something one says to a loser), meaning the chefs she is seemingly trying to defend are all losers as well. Hmm. Interesting.
Oh, God, not the “you’re just jealous” offense AGAIN *groan* Is that REALLY all they can come up with?
Yes. And they misspell jealous while they are at it. This is even more saddening given the fact that this commenting system does have spell check.
Melanie,
YOU JUST GOT OWNED!
@Sara, yes, that’s all people like that can come up with.
At least the dorky kid from Can’t Buy Me Love has done better than those losers. Wait till their clients see this and we’ll see if they will hire them back. Chances of that happening: LESS THAN ZERO!!!!
Considering both sides are most likely acting or at least playing it up, I doubt these particular clients will care. All future potential clients (assuming that these chefs are indeed private chefs and not just chefs pretending to be private chefs solely for TV purposes) probably will care, unless they want to part of the whole shenanigans.
Funny, the dorky kid is Patrick Dempsey…
No one watches this show! NO ONE!!!
Wishful thinking my friend.
Next thing you know, say half a year later, cooking will be tertiary and the primary purpose of the show will be to document storylines exploring the romances between the chefs with each other and/or the chefs with the clients. Perhaps one chef will find his or her love for chicken, in a morally wrong manner. It will be like Grey’s Anatomy, except with food instead of terminal diseases. (For the record, I watch neither show, so that makes me cool.)
It did really well in the ratings, hate to burst your bubble. It’s on par with most FN shows ratings-wise.
Clay, cite your source?
Damn Benny Boom, judging by your avatar if that is indeed what you look like, I can watch you ALL day long ♥
Clay’s source is his ass. There are no ratings numbers for the show I found in a quick basic cable search. And considering FN didn’t issue a bragging press release, and considering Friday night on basic cable is the wasteland of TV, it tells me they didn’t expect much from it in the first place.
Why else waste a brand new show on a terrible time slot? They didn’t even think enough of it to put it on paired with Ace of Tards.
Hey Manouschka. Unfortunately, I do not think he reciprocates the watching you all day long part, at least not on this particular show.
For the record, I watched a minute of the show and you (Manouschka) were easy on the eyes and ears, at least for that minute. That should not be saying much, but it is given some of the hosts on FN (e.g. Claire’s voice, Guy’s presence). You guys are fine. It is the whole premise of the show that has me all snarky.
DRATS… unrequitted love sucks! DANG Mike I had a “Minute to Win It”?!?!? Awesome. Sorry had to do it you left that one wiiiiiiiide open! Thanks, I’m having a BLAST & I’ll give mad props to Food Network for trying something new & despite popular belief on here… something original. We may not be for everyone but dammit we’re here!
My bad. Would it kill the joke if I said it was not so much a minute as it was 30 seconds? But damn, I completely missed that one. And it is all Guy’s fault! But probably also karma for dissing his presence not too long ago.
Good to know you guys are having fun. Let the ratings do the talking, not FNH! I am just here to mock and have fun, and not to be (overly) mean. :)
Crap the promos alone are 31 seconds, sweet cheezus & I’m not even in those. Give a sista a ba-REAK… hahahaha. It’s satire at it’s best, who ever doesn’t get it will be hurt on one end or mean on the other, I guess it must be my “Speidi senses” that is enjoying the sentiments of all 3.
Good to know that you are not taking any of this (the show, this site, everything) too seriously. Work hard and have fun. Best of luck to you!
SPANK you Mike! I will & trust me we all are pretty stoked & worked very hard for this op ♥
Manouschka, thanks for having a sense of humor. It’s refreshing as hell. The publicity on this site is actually going to make me tune in next week so I can see what it’s all about. I’m sure you worked hard to get where you’re at, so congrats.
And Benjamin Unbuttons, you coming back on here to tell me that just earned you a guest spot in my dreams tonight! SERIOUSLY… these avatars MUST get bigger! All jokes aside, thanks again boys ♥
It didn’t even make The Soup. Can relevancy be negative?
I’d rather watch CSPAN.
You know the show is WAY beyond bad if it does not rate a mention on The Soup!
I was waiting for this one to show up on The Soup, alas maybe this week.
Okay, so I watched the show last night for the first time… Interesting but I will tell you the weirdos of BH that have WAY to MUCH money- was spot on!!! I am not one of them but I work among them and let me tell you- they were NOT acting. These people have way to much time and money – So I do not fault the chefs – crazy kitchen lady – oh she exists and is very real- and murder mystery get up people who live in castles… real…so the real entertainment for me was the BH residents. The Chefs… well I just felt sorry for them So the drinking game should be centered around the party throwers- cause you will see the BH peeps all have one common thread that connects them- CRAZY!!!
I agree with you about actual crazy rich people and I can imagine real clients acting like the ones on TV. It is the premise of this show being a “dramatized documentary” (the phrase has become the norm as opposed to an oxymoron) that drives us crazy. In reality, chefs whose private chef reputations are on the line probably would not be so liberally dissing their clients on the record. Drinking with fellow chefs till drunk after a particularly bad experience with a client, yes. Physically rolling their eyes (as opposed to mentally rolling their eyes) within 3 yards of the client, no. So basically, both the chefs and the clients are part of a show and thus part of our mockery. The chefs would get more sympathy if they did not so evidently diss their clients, but then that would not make for good TV or good mockery.
Wow! I thought it was totally staged. They are for real?
Take 1 drink every time a chef says, “I came here to cook, not to _______.”
I’d already have to be seriously drunk to be watching this show in the first place.
I didn’t want to watch this show. It took all I had NOT to watch this last night. Now….guess what I’ll be watchting,next Friday night & making fun of ……drunk…..Thanx Jillian!
Some times I find this site to be unnecessarily harsh but this show deserves all of the hate it gets. Why didn’t they just make a script 30 minute TV show?
Am I crazy or was Brian on Top Chef season 1?
You are not crazy. Brian Hill was on season 1 of Top Chef.
Isn’t the dorky kid from “Can’t Buy Me Love” the one and only Dr. McDreamy on “Gray’s Anatomy”?
Why yes, yes he is Patrick Dempsey.
There do exist a variety of substances that enhance the quality of Food Network programming. I have found that the 1 am airing of Good Eats is immensely more enjoyable when I’ve just taken an Ambien and am starting to get loopy. Alton Brown’s dumb jokes make me laugh out loud under these circumstances.
I appreciate crappy television programming as much as the next gal but, I don’t think there is enough Merlot on the planet that could numb my good judgement enough to watch that show. Hell, I don’t even think there is enough crack on earth that could help me get through one episode. I am going by Jillian’s review last week of the first show. I 100% trust her opinions on all things FN, etc. so I knew to avoid it. So, I’m sort of left scratching my head as to why she, or anyone, would put themselves through such torture. I guess morbid curiousity could be involved. Who knows. I might just tune in next Friday just to see what all the buzz is about!
Ah yes, Jeremy London… or as I like to call him “The Poor Man’s James Spader.”
Jeremy did NOT age well. Yikes.
Male pattern baldness is a bitch.
I watched this show just to see what FNH would have to say about it. I agree it’s pretty awful, and I love all reality TV. The cast is likeable (except for annoying Brian Hill) but the situations they’re put in are really lame. They feel fake and forced. The bullshit today with the murder mystery was just unwatchable and the chef/wife making all those demands for her husband’s 35th birthday party was so staged.
If the show wasn’t so obviously fake and staged it would be a whole lot better.
Hey Jenna :) Thank you for giving us the rundown on the last episode. Seriously. Now, I have made the decision to NOT watch it on Friday. Instead, I’m sure there is some wet paint drying somewhere that needs a’watchin’.
No one could really play this drinking game. they’d have alcohol poisoning after 5 minutes! :)
No, I think Aunt Sandy could do it. ;) I watched the first 10 minutes of this train wreck…NEVER AGAIN!
Um, I think this drinking game will cause alcohol blood poisoning…..
Manouschka -
“these avatars MUST get bigger!”
That’s what I’ve been telling Ben, too! (On several threads.)
That man is all kinds of gorgeous, isn’t he? :)
To quote Chef Brian, he’s…. YUMSTERS! Let me know if there’s a petition Stoup x
Jesse is just waiting for a Stuart facial
I don’t drink so I guess I’m out.
Anyway, I saw this show last year (still confused about that one) and once was enough. Reality TV sucks. Well, unless it’s RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Take 2 drinks whenever it looks like Manoushka wants to kill the client.
Take 1 drink everytime Brooke is self-depricating about her appearance/wardrobe.
Take 1 drink everytime Sasha acts like she is the most spineless chef on the planet. OMG, my food sucks, save me, anybody.
Take 2 drinks everytime it looks like the client wants to kill Jesse.
If you did this along with the suggestions already on this thread (minus the ones on the forum since I do not check there), you will be dead in less than 2 minutes sir.
WUSS!
Considering it comes down to around 57 drinks in these 2 minutes, I doubt anyone short of Sandra Lee could survive. Of course, I mean 2 minutes of the show itself.
^ BURN! Well… 2 minutes is longer than the 30 seconds you gave us last time. It’s Friday night at 10 pm… LIVE A LITTLE!
To my credit, a commercial break came up and I changed the channel and never changed it back. I would have watched a little longer if FN did not so liberally place their commercial breaks. But then I remember changing the channels a few more times and then just shutting off the TV. This all happened within 3 minutes. So your 30 seconds was probably the winner of the night!
My existence has me reading legal text on Friday night. :( I probably should be doing that right now as well. :<
Show is so goddamn fake and staged. Burn the tapes please.
Read some of the posts here, clients are not really beverly hills clients, at least not most of them. The castle was no where near beverly hills.
The chefs on the show are doing this for publicity.. Scripted and staged – not completely but yes at least part of it is. And for those that say there will be romance among the chefs and or clients – that has already happened, just not on tv.
I was exaggerating along the lines of it becoming a drama with a background of food (or not) while still being shown on Food Network. The romance will not only be part of the show, it will be its focal point. But FN has too much food integrity and food pride to let that happen, right? :)
I watch the show only to see Tupperware’s Chef Stuart. The show was interesting and I loved seeing the Chef’s using Tupperware in the kitchen on National TV.
~Jeni
I must say I was confused about your random love of Tupperware until I followed your link.
Yes tupperware is really pushing this show on it’s website for consultants. Anytime there is anything remotely related to tupperware, there is an email sent out to everyone about it. It’s neat to see tuperware on tv, but dear lord it was more like a product placement than anything since I don’t remember seeing actually stuart make anything in the first episode. I did miss about 10 minutes of it so maybe he actually used the products in those 10 minutes?
I saw this show a few months ago, I guess it was a pilot and thought what a terrible show! Then saw it on primetime and went WTF!!!! This show is TERRIBLE!
To use a phrase coined here on FNH, this show is “Melissa D’Arabian bad.”
OK. I’m watching part of this “show’ on re-run today. Why the hell is Sasha wearing red high heels, working in he kitchen?
The better with which to fall with of course. Probably not the chef’s preference.
And that host of the “35th” birthday party who is also a Chef, was unbelievable & I believe she was totally staged. She claimed she usually does all the cooking but hired chef’s because she did’nt have time to cook for this party. Wellll, why did she spend the whole time in the kitchen getting in the way?
Well, while she and most of the clients/scenarios are most likely staged, it is not completely unbelievable for someone to hire professionals even though she is part of this same group of professionals. She claims she does not have time, but then does not believe anyone else can do it better than she can and ends up hounding the people she hired. That said, this is reality TV and not real life, so the client chef was just there for the added melodrama.
The show blows, but Samantha is terminally cute.
I think the only reality t.v. program that isnt on the air yet is a Gyno show. I think I will talk to my doc about starting one.
We’ll call it, TWAT DOC 90210. (or whatever zip code the show happens to take place in)
That I’d watch.
I know, right?
We could call it The Real Twats of Orange County. By real we obviously mean plastic and enhanced by surgical means to a point where they no longer remotely resemble anything real, and no, I’m not talking about the housewives themselves just their hoohas.
I get angry when I drink, so I’m not sure it would help PCOBH much. The last 2 times I tried to watch it, I couldn’t get past the 2 minute mark. But I’ll try a fifth of Maker’s. Who knows, I may end up having sympathy for the client
haha this is awesome!
So that’s 3 drinks total when Jesse makes a face and uses his hands
Yes I watch this show!!
1 shot every time a client has a “surprise” request – every episode 3 times at least!!
1 drink every time wagyu beef is used – twice so far !!
Is it possible to be drunk and its only the commercial ???
I wonder how many of Sasha’s clients have seen her formerly maggot infested home (and baked goods) when she appeared on How Clean is Your House. Clearly, Sasha is a “reality” show repeat. I’d bet money that her home is once again maggot infested. But she may yet get her stupid restaurant “sashies”…which will be closed down by the health department, no doubt.
soooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!
That DORKY KID IS “MC-DREAMY” FROM GREY’S ANATOMY twit!
AKA:
PATRICK DEMPSEY.
[...] should click this link to read the message board it’s HI-larious! I was chilling, after my glorious bath, drinking [...]
Ah Jesse, going from one ‘reality’ show to the next with relative ease. First: Work Out, and now this.
Actually, I love this show. I find it rather entertaining. So a few suggestions :)
-1 drink anytime a chef mentions that they hate working with another employed chef. 2 if the chefs are Sasha/Brian and Jesse
-1 drink anytime a chef says “anything can happen in Beverly Hills” or something along those lines
-2 drinks anytime Sasha tries to convince the client that her food is better than whatever it is they asked for and then sulks because they “have no taste” or “don’t know what they’re missing”
-1 drink if the client is also a chef
-1 drink if the client’s pet is somehow involved
-1 drink if they forget or don’t have a key ingredient to the dish they’re making
oh, and..
-1 drink anytime chef Brian says the phrase ‘yumsters’