Rachael Ray »

The Rachael Ray Dictionary
Posted by Jillian Madison

Rachael Ray is known for GETTIN’ A LITTLE CRAZY with the English language. Sometimes, she’ll cleverly use only the first letter of a word (like EVOO for “extra virgin olive oil” or BYOB for “bring your own bacon”), while other times, she’ll just take two normal words and blend them together to create one asinine word (like stoup, which is, of course, thicker than a soup but thinner than a stew.)

For a while there, Rach had just been using the same old annoying catchphrases. Delish. Yum-O. Sammie. Nothing new had come out of the frightening culinary wasteland that is her mind. That is, UNTIL THIS WEEKEND.

That’s right. You see, Rachael finally unleashed a new word on our nation: CHOUP. What’s that, you ask?

rraychoup

Wow! Thanks, Rachael! Having to say “THICK SOUP” for all these years was really starting to take its toll on me. Hallelujah! I’m free!

Since Rachael is clearly having a hard time coming up with new words, I thought I’d help her out by coming up with a few new catchphrases for her to use about her Food Network co-hosts:


Used in a sentence: My mother bought me the ugliest SHENT for my birthday!



Used in a sentence: I got totally sandrunk after work last night.



Used in a sentence: Don’t stay on that treadmill for too long, or you’ll start looking skaltoned.



Used in a sentence: I could replace a tire on my Jeep with the McHula in that girl’s left ear!



Used in a sentence: I’m not going to drink on our first date, because I don’t want to come off as a clut.



Used in a sentence: The floprah in this room is out of control.



Used in a sentence: Our waiter is such a chiboi.

And don’t forget about the DIARRHOSPITAL you’ll likely get from Rachael’s food. You know, when your stomach is sick to death, but it’s not bad enough for you to be admitted into the hospital.

Did I miss any Rachael words? Leave ‘em in the comments for part 2 of this series in a few weeks!



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Custom-Made SHENT Apron
---Food Network Chefs According To The Urban Dictionary
---Rachael Ray Coins Annoying New Word
---Rachael Ray’s Park City Utah Vacation: Photo Gallery
---Rachael Ray Yum-O Ugg Boots

    119 Responses

  1. Sandra says:

    That’s freakin’ awesome! LMAO

  2. PoPo says:

    Lmao @ shent. I wish she would bedazzle some of those shents just to mix it up a little. Don’t they bedazzle in the Hamptons?

    • Fat_Italian_Broad says:

      They can Inadazzle with good Ina rhinestones.

    • Jill (not Jillian) says:

      Well, sometimes her collar is up and sometimes it isn’t. LOL. I bet Frank or Stephen has a bedazzler.

    • Bad Vanilla says:

      Turning up the volume on Ida’s drab, black shents with some bedazzle and rhinestones. How bad can that be?

      • Aimee says:

        Too funny, Bad Vanilla. Might I also add that your name cracks me up?

      • Bad Vanilla says:

        @Aimee: Thanks :-) As much as Ina (sorry for the typo in my original post) uses “good” ingredients, none to me is more annoying than her constant mention of “good vanilla”.

      • Ina Garten DaVida says:

        I kinda “get” good vanilla–I remember my mom buying “vanillin” one time b/c vanilla was too expensive. yarg, so vile

        But “GOOD” ketchup?? Really?

        Fatter than Giada, skinnier than Mario: FINA

  3. Gypsy says:

    Absolutely brilliant. I laughed out loud at these!

  4. DeformedCookie says:

    I saw the “choup” episode as well. I don’t know why but she really makes me irrationally angry.

  5. Numb says:

    HILARIOUS. Also, I vow to actually start using Sandrunk in my regular vocabulary.

    • Numb says:

      Such as: “Sure, I was so wasted that I spent the evening puking my guts out on my mother-in-law’s antique rug… but at least I didn’t let myself get totally Sandrunk.” (Because seriously, if I drank as much as Sandra, I’m pretty sure my liver would just explode.)

  6. Scruffy says:

    Don’t forget her husband is a toouche.

  7. Rachel in NC says:

    I laughed until I cried at “Skalton!”

  8. CherryRose says:

    Simply stupendous!

  9. Motzi Greps says:

    Another stroke of brilliance! LMAO! Skalton!

  10. oh_come_on says:

    Portmanteau= ” A…uncreative technique to form new words – almost (any idiot)…can fabricate words by butchering two perfectly good words…to form one ugly word.”

    RRay’s obviously working on not enough sleep and waaaay too much caffeine. WHO wants to eat choup or stoup? Yuk!

    • cloverleaf says:

      I always giggle when RR says “stoup,” because it sounds so much like the yiddish “schtup (sp?)”……

      • CherryRose says:

        LOL! I just think of “stoup” as short for “stupid”. Methinks that Ratched knows that the dish she’s preparing is dumb sh*t, but she’s gonna make it anyway.

      • KatW says:

        CherryRose, my hubby and brother-in-law use the word “stoup” as short for “stupid.” I’d never in a million years use it to describe food.

  11. Ferd Berfle says:

    Possessing bigger boobs than Bobby Flay’s but not quite as well-endowed as Giada DiLaurentiis: Fliada.

    Ex.: I don’t believe Tiffany really is stuffing her bra with tissue paper, she’s just fliada.

  12. Blag says:

    It’s a little bit sweet; it’s a little bit savory — it’s swavery

  13. Zach says:

    shent….omg…lmfao

  14. bon appetit says:

    Pure *genius* Jillian! I will now be going to my Mom’s house to reorganize her shents.

  15. Busta_91 says:

    I really need to not use the internet in class…I just burst out laughing when I saw these!

  16. byrdie says:

    SHENT.

    How perrrrfect is thaaaat??!!

  17. Bad Vanilla says:

    Brilliant! LOVED “Shent”! LOL

  18. LaLa says:

    Annoying male chef = Guy + Tyler + Flay = Guyler Flay

  19. Renee says:

    Less butter then Paula Deen’s recipes

    but tastes better then cardboard Ellie Kreiger recipe

    Deeiger

    I don’t have to count my calories after I eat this Deeiger meal.

  20. CherryRose says:

    Lifetime Movies presents the Sequel to “Homeless to Harvard”: VAGRINA. The true story of a former homeless person (vagrant) who finds life, love, and happiness in the Hamptons (Ina).

  21. Diane says:

    THANK YOU for lampooning the ‘choup’. It was an episode I just happened to catch and turned off immediately after hearing that. For Pete’s sake!! Just say thick soup you dumb gash!!!
    I guess I’m like Deformed Cookie…Ray-Ray makes me irrationally angry.

    The others had me LMAO. The ‘shent’ one make me think of ‘shit’ for some reason…all the more reason to giggle. :)

  22. JC in Louisville says:

    More nauseous than Guy, but not as pukey as the Neelys =

    GUYLY.

    That McD burger was way too guyly.

  23. ralsteve says:

    I first posted about Rachael’s CHOUP on April 8 after seeing an episode of 30 Minute Meals. I couldn’t believe my ears and couldn’t reach for the remote fast enough. This woman has truly started to run out of ideas and has lost her freakin’ mind. She’s slowly regurgitating the same recipes over and over again. I mean what does she have? 101 recipes for burgers? And how much crap can she throw in with pasta and call it a different meal? I am SO Rachael Rayed out!

    • Diane says:

      Wouldn’t it be funny if she DID lose her mind and started filming rouge episodes?

      “Hey kids! Forget about using pasta water to thin out and starch up your sauces! Toilet bowl water adds some YUMMO flavor to whatever dish you’re making!”

      “I saved some ‘essence’ from my encounter with my greasy sweetie last night *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* and I’m gonna throw a handful into my stoup-choup. I’m having friends over tonight and whoever guesses the secret ingredient gets a set of my crappy cookware!! (And a ride to the ER to get checked for hepatitis! WOOOOOOO!!! Good times!!!”

      • Diane says:

        Ah hell…I meant ROGUE. Sheesh!

      • liz says:

        Diane you are hilarious. I laughed so hard I had tears coming down my face. I was all alone as I read this and the neighbor knocked on my door to see what was going on. “Greasy sweetie” I love it.

    • Gypsy says:

      I couldn’t believe an episode I caught with her “pesto” made from peas, which she called “PEASto” – CRINGE at the made-up word, and YUCK at the thought of mushed up peas stirred into pasta.

  24. T.R.'s Beard says:

    You spent so much money on your tablescape that you are behind three months on your mortgate…Semi-Homeless Entertaining.

  25. Susan says:

    OMG! Shent! LMAO!!! This is HILARIOUS!!!

  26. Goober says:

    Fatter than Alton Brown, but not obese like Pauler Deen: Y’Alton.

  27. TooHotTamales says:

    These are brilliant, Jillian! They remind of the long-time local weatherman on Detroit TV, Sonny Eliot who was a staple on channel 4 for over 30 years and still does a forecast each afternoon on the local 24-hour news station. He was (in)famous for his combination words in his forecasts, like cool+breezy=creezy or snow mixed with rain=snain. You could count on him to give the weather for some small town in Michigan that no one had ever heard of.

    Getting back on topic, I’d describe Pauler as a buffoon who’s too fond of butta’ or a “buttafoon” .

  28. Sandra Lee's Liver says:

    Jillian, you this this out of the park once again. Thanks for an afternoon full of laughs! Kudos!!!

  29. Jadaris says:

    So is the thickness scale Soup < Choup < Stoup < Chowder < Stew ?

    Or is it Soup < Choup < Chowder < Stoup < Stew ?

  30. MASCAR-PONAY says:

    Not as lemony as the zest, but soaked in liquor…

    Thymonchello

  31. GingerBeagle says:

    My husband made “stoup” for dinner a week ago using one of RR’s recipes. YUKKO! I tried to be nice and just ate it. He packed it up for me for lunch the next day. Oh no. New word: leftovers in trash…..Trashovers. Thanks Rach!

  32. Flyingroo says:

    One single word for the favorite phrase of FN chefs… here it comes!

    “Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside” = Cruouchin !

  33. Ferd Berfle says:

    Hipster male cooking show hosts should skip the ear jewelry: Anthony Bourdain + Aaron McCargo = Boring.

  34. Spatuler says:

    Oh.Em.Gee. “Skalton”…fricking hilarious.

  35. boke1 says:

    Not as brain dead as Jamie but not nearly as gay as Bobby = Jobby. Also what my childhood friend used to call doo-doo.

  36. AbacoPeach says:

    These ARE great!! Very clever… LOL!!!

  37. KatW says:

    Sorry I’m late to the party, but like Numb, I’m adding Sandrunk to my daily vocabulary. More, please, Jillian!!

  38. Ina's Ego says:

    More pretentious than Guy Fieri
    Not as pretentious as Ina Garten

    Guynatentious

    • Spatuler says:

      lol, that was such a stretch it cracked me up. I wasn’t sure if that word should sum up my last “female” examination though, but then again, aren’t they always a little “guynatentious?”

  39. stoup says:

    I am LMAO over here! I have tears running down my face!
    My favorites are shent, skalton, and sandrunk. TOO funny!
    This website cracks me UP!!

  40. MoeBiscuits says:

    Rachel crossed the line for me the other day when she had some kid on 30 Minute Messes making…TACOSAGNA. Really, Rach? Taco-f’ing-sagna? Where I come from, we have a different word for that. It’s called ENCHILADAS!

    Now I swear, if she keeps butchering food and the English language, I’m gonna butcher her sphincter with a bowling pin.

    And I mean that in the niiiiiicest way possible.

  41. Matt D says:

    How about does more work than Duff Goldman but not quite as much work as a donkey’s nutsack. GoldmanSacks…oh wait, nevermind.

  42. My lord, SHENT is awesome!

    And a counterpoint to FLAIDA, I offer you:

    GITALI…a person with bigger boobs than Giada’s, but not as big as Batali’s.

    “That girl’s rack is GITALI!”

  43. cookiemonster says:

    I really really love the ina garten one, a SHENT OMG that was hilarious I mean all of them but ina’s just make laugh a lot haha

  44. LaserLiza says:

    Rayada-more facial contortions than Rachel Ray, but not as many as Giada.
    Ex: “When she smiles, she looks totally rayada- it’s creepy!”

    • Teanuky says:

      Giala- ones accent is not as authentic as Paula deens, but more real than giada’s fake Italian one when she says italian words.

      Example – bobby fley’s use of culinary terms seems a bît giala.

  45. DJB says:

    SNUFFET: An Ina sized “portion” snack but smaller than a buffet….

    Why the hell does she always make HUGE pans of things, and CLAIMS they are for her “friends”? You KNOW the girl is just hungry and making them for herself!! Ina does does love herself some groceries!!

  46. DJB says:

    BUERRLENSTOCKS –

    Not quite Anne Burrell’s red “follow the yellow brick road” red shoes, but not quite Birkenstocks…

  47. SarahB says:

    Rachel + Dictionairy = Dictchel or Rachionairy

  48. Jenn says:

    Not sure if you are being serious or not when saying that this is a new word, but I’ve heard her use this word a couple times before, and at least 2 years ago.

  49. tommy2010 says:

    oh my god oh my god

    I WAS CRYING!!!!! HAHAHA wow!

    brilliant!!

  50. MNLisaB says:

    OK, here’s an entry for Guy F:

    not quite tool not quite douchebag: doolbag

  51. Punky says:

    SHENT – Now that was just wrong! LOL

  52. chad says:

    ok…this website ALWAYS makes me laugh, but “shent”? you have totally outdone yourself….

    “shent”.

  53. danielle says:

    OMG, shent just made me crack up and now i cant stop laughing!!! i have never seen ina wear anything other than a shent! she sometimes jazzes it up with a scarf or the requisite over-the-shoulder-sweater when socializing with her rich friends, but never a buttonless shirt or a cardigan! what gives?

    can i just tell you that i LOVE this site and think you are hilarious?

  54. [...] (Click here for the official FNH definition of SANDRUNK!) [...]

  55. Union Tom says:

    I know Tyler Florence is the world’s biggest ego-maniac, but he should be!

  56. Rachael Hater says:

    Lol, Rachael Ray = MosquitohA

    Bigger than mosquito bites,

    Smaller than an A cup :P

  57. ICryAlot says:

    Greater than Rachels 10:0 Ass to Bust ratio, and smaller than Giadas 1:10 Ass to Bust ratio:

    No joke, its simply called a “Cylinder”

  58. Geo says:

    Bigger boobs than Rachel; smaller boobs than Bobby = Raybobs.

    Usage: “She’s got the cutest little raybobs.”

  59. JJ says:

    “Choup” technically was probably ‘chunky soup’ but semantics- I hate it and her. My boyfriend said he thought she was cute and I almost broke up with him over it!

  60. Moon says:

    I don’t have a clue why, but something about this post completely made me die laughing. I had to actually put down my Firefox window so I could give myself a chance to breathe.

    (Also, I totally thought a “shent” was a real article of clothing before i saw this post.)

  61. Nata says:

    SHENT. OMG. I am dead. I thought it was a widely accepted clothing term before I saw this post.

    Coup and EVOO are among some of the most annoying appriviations Rachael Ray has come up with.

  62. tory burch ballet espadrille

  63. One of Ina's Bois says:

    I loved the CHIBOI. I was shocked when I found out Michael was married with children!

    • WeirdFIsh says:

      That doesn’t mean anything. Plenty of gay men I know have kids and were once married to women. :)

      And are still more masculine than Chiarello.

  64. Weirdfish says:

    And now, of course, Sandra Lee will be hosting “Taverns, Lounges, and Clubs” on Cooking Channel.

    Way to work the stereotype, Sandy!

  65. Fran says:

    i hate all that hand slapping Rachel does when she talks. and what about the same boots with that stupid fringe. Does she not have another pair? please. Also, She says she goes to the gym everyday, but does not really show it.
    I watch mostly for the guests.

  66. Cherilyn Hannen says:

    I like Rachael Ray she’s funny I get her magazine this is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…clut that’s funny!!!!!!!

Post your comments


FNH DISCLOSURE and PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2014 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved