Rachael Ray »
Every Episode Of 30 Minute Meals
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---How To Make An Episode Of 30 Minute Meals---30 Minute Meals – Closed Captioned
---Rachael Ray 30 Minute Meals Parody Video
---Rachael Ray’s Still Phoning It In On 30 Minute Meals
---30 Minute Meal Fail
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(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
59 Responses
meanwhile, back at the ranch i needed to grab some kleenex to wipe my tears of laughter from that!
It smells good in here ALREADY!
Smell-o-vision……..
…and all she did was chop up a few herbs.
She doesn’t ever CHOP anything…she “runs her knife through it”
“And I know what kids like!! Even though the closest I get to being around kids is living with my greasy husband…and my dog.”
“All I needed to do was get the pan screamin’ hot, give it a little S&P action (followed by throwing a pinch of salt over my shoulder) and then give the pan a shimmy-shake!”
I’d like to take that screamin’ hot pan to her head.
…only when she says those stupid things. And I’ve never understood the waste of salt over the shoulder. Starving kids would be happy to have that salt!
It’s a superstition. You throw salt over your shoulder to keep the devil away, because you’re vulnerable towards injuries when you’re cooking.
…yep, that’s pretty much right. Haha(:
“Okay, heads up! GRRR GOD! the way she says that is sooo annoying! And the way she call the food “guys”…
“I wash the veggies when I get home from the market, it saves time.” or however the hell she spouts out that annoying piece of “advice”.
Did y’all know that “oregano” translates to “joy of the mountain”?
I can’t remember, is oregano “nice and earthy”?
Nice lemony thyme
Nice smoky cumin
Nice fresh parsley–I put it in EVERYTHING!
And don’t forget to put in the grill seasoning!
REALLY? Gosh, seems I might have heard that somewhere before… LOL ;)
And as my husband added, her cutesy phrases don’t match with the bitchy look on her face.
And here I thought it was just me.
I loved it up until the quote-mark that’s facing the wrong way at the end. But maybe that’s because RR is stoopid?
“My in-laws don’t like garlic as much as Jahnn and I do.”
“mm-mmm-mmmm”
“Hel-lo Mr. Bear” (talking to the honey container)
She drives me nuts and I can’t watch her anymore.
I hate that “sammies” is becoming an acceptable word and people and places other than RR are using it. How hard is it to say sandwich?
I walked into a Quizno’s for the first time and just about fainted when I saw their menu included “Sammies”; however, their Roadhouse Sammie is really good.
I’ve heard that their sammies are good but I just can’t bring myself to order one :)
You forgot to explain what stoup is, so you should have “road mapped” it for us. I get my breakfast ready in under 30 minutes now that she told us about “poking the yokes”. She’s awsome that way.
Has anyone noticed she is wearing a different ring on her left hand? What’s the scoop there?
Haven’t noticed that…but maybe Jaahhhnnn needed to hock it for some cash. She’s now wearing a ring out of a supermarket toy machine.
1.) Jaaaaahn says cilantro is verdant and RR thinks it’s an SAT word. What’s the SAT word for a guy who likes hookers to spit on him? Hmmmm.
2.) Jaaaaahn’s parent’s don’t like chunks of garlic (who the hell does ?) and don’t like fish.
3.) RR’s Maaaaaam eats the guts outta pumpkin pie. Try Sandra Lee’s baby food approach next time.
4.) RR is from apple pickin’ people!!!
5.) RR’s booze master of a dad is Cajun so he inexplicbly would like something like Jamb-pasta. Ew.
6.) RR’s sister from another father, whose front tooth gap only rivlas Michael Strahan, is a great baker. Chewing is clearly optional.
OMG I had no idea they were half-sistas!
OMG…crying, boke1 too funny!! Heads up kids!!!!
Someone nailed it when they told me her way of talking sounds like baby talk.
Be sure to add some freshly grated nutmeg to that stoup–it’s that little something extra that makes people go “hmm!”
You could toootally entertain with this meal
and it’s figure friendly!
The talking to the microwave oven when it beeps drives me NUTS! “Ok, ok, I’m comin”, I’m comin’”. Who the hell does that?
I’m guessing someone who has alienated everybody in her life with her idiocy. Her microwave is now her (pushy) best friend. :)
Am I the only person here who doesn’t know what an effing “stoup” is? I don’t know because I don’t watch her show/s. Hell, I don’t even watch the Food network anymore. Does “stoup” have to do with anyone who is willing to try her soup recipes: STOUPID? I’m just guessing. Why won’t that woman just shut her trap once and for all.
It’s like: (Suzy) “What’s Tammy making?” (Jenny) “I dunno, It’s like some soup thing, or something.” (Suzy) “Oh, really? Cuz, I’m like all hungry. I’ve only eaten one saltine in two days!” (Suzy) “Why are there noodles AND rice in there?!?” (Jenny) ” I guess Tammy’s gone all stoupid.”
Case Closed.
Ready to be wowed Spatuler? You’ll be sorry you asked:
Thicker than soup but not quite a stew = STOUP
Thicker than soup but not quite a chowder = CHOUP
I WAS ready to be “wowed” but instead I was just left nauseated. And yes, I’m sorry I asked.
Poor rachael,no kids and little boobs,althought sh etries to flaunt them, but their isn’t much there,except she sure got a big butt,an dher husband isn’t so nice looking,his hair is to long and and real messy. Plus I don’t like short guy’s, prefer tall guys with nice hair. Curly or wavy,but not john’s looks or hair.
At least they’re not as little as Paris’s. I don’t think anybody’s as flat and oblivious as she is in this picture: http://omg.yahoo.com/photos/trousdale-is-the-place-to-be/3848#id=3
Hmm, that’s odd..
And the giggling. Don’t forget the Pillsbury Dough Boy-esque giggling.
I’ll take Ina’s giggle over Ray Ray’s any day!!!
With each woman’s giggling left on a 72-hour continuous loop, whose would you rather hear? *snickers*
two more:
- leave the pot unattended in the sink for 10 minutes while you collect 100 things because god forbid you take two trips. meanwhile, the water’s now overflowed so you have to pour half of it out anyway.
- stop while in the middle of cooking to wave your hands in the air frantically. because so much cooking gets accomplished this way.
- stare into the fridge and pantry as if you’re contemplating what to get out, as if the recipe’s being done on the fly and her helpers haven’t strategically placed all her needed ingredients to the front!
- mention how “healthful and flavourful” and “figure-friendly” the dish is…right before drowning it in three tablespoons of evoo – that’s extra virgin olive oil, because i don’t think she’s ever mentioned before what it stands for.
- and finally, she’ll be wearing a two-sizes-too-small unitard and a pair of mom jeans.
oops, me no count good.
That last one almost made me spit water all over my monitor. Unitard – nice! LOL
What about the references to burning the bread? And how about not being a “baker,” and yet….still, FN branded some bakeware for ya, didn’t they? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Whoa, look at that gut. Better cut back on the EVOO, cheese sammies and creamy stoups, RR.
You forgot to mention that oregano means “joy of the mountain”, something that “you can use at cocktail parties”
RRay’s stupid sammie nickname is spreading. Tyler has a fish sammie, and I just got an email from FN about a sammie see-how video from Sunny. She never calls it that, but FN does. What’s next? All chefs must use EVOO? Gawd, give me a break!
Where the hell is salad made of Arugula?
Cant be missing that too…..
Wait, why did she pick her oregano out of her GB (garbage bowl)?
You forgot “You can even entertain with this…”
How about: “Don’t forget to salt your pasta water, it’s the only chance you have to season the pasta itself”
OK..I think we can remember that one!!
… and serve it for a racially or ethnically stereotypical movie night. She just suggested serving her gross “Chinese” “takeout” while you watch kung-fu movies.
She also said about a dozen times that “you don’t know what they put in takeout.” I never heard her say something like that as a reason for cooking Italian or doing your own BBQ at home…
“Everybody’s kung-fu fighting…”
You all know every comment she makes and yet claim to think she is annoying. Try making her recipes sometime. They are quick and delicious. If you can get past your “annoyance”, she really is pretty amazing. I would also say that she is the best teacher on the Food Network.
Thanks, Rach.