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Food Network Challenge: Sex & The City Cakes
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Last night, I did something I almost never do. No, not doodle hearts all over photos of Guy Fieri… but tuned in for an episode of Food Network Challenge! Why? Because they were making Sex & The City themed cakes, and SATC was one of my favorite shows of all time (until they ruined its memory with those insultingly bad movies, but that’s an entirely different post for an entirely different blog.)
The competitors were asked to create cakes that represented each of the 4 characters on the series, but instead, they delivered some of the TACKIEST, UGLIEST CAKES I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
This hideous thing was created by Jennifer Matsubara, who has clearly never watched an episode of Sex & The City in her life. Jennifer topped the cake with the scales of justice because Miranda’s a lawyer, but that’s about the only thing she got right. I honestly have no idea what the hell those dangling green balls were supposed to be (they look like anal beads I saw on HBO’s Real Sex once), and don’t even get me started on those tacky black and white art deco shapes. Um, the show takes place in NYC… not in Miami circa 1991. Sorry, but this cake was a TOTAL FAIL.
Alexandria Pellegrino’s “Samantha” cake was gaudy and lame. A giant cougar head? Wow, I bet it took her like 2 whole seconds to come up with that idea! What a total insult to Samantha’s character. I’m not saying Alexandria had to top the cake with a penis or a diaphragm to pay homage to Samantha, but come on. This cake looks like something you’d see offered for 50 cents a slice at a cheap Indian restaurant. TOTAL FAIL.
Even though Michelle Bommarito’s “Carrie” cake was a hot mess, and ended up looking like something a 4th grader could have put together during art class at summer camp, it was my favorite because it was true to Carrie’s character. Michelle even wrapped the base of the cake in tulle to represent Carrie’s famous tutu. The judges gave her shit for doing so, which only proves they are morons and should not be listened to.
Yeah. That about sums it up. The cake fell apart before it could even be judged. Total fail, Michelle Doll. TOTAL FAIL.
Let’s get Kerry Vincent’s take on all this:
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---10 Awesome Cakes You Definitely Won’t See Made On “Ace Of Cakes”
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53 Responses
The carrie cake looks pretty cool imo, the rest of them look lame.
Please let these horrible cakes hearald in the end of a horrible finish to the SATC franchise. Great, no.. amazing series. Pitiful films.
This had to be the worst cake challenge yet – even dumber than high school reunion cake and anniversary couple cake.
Challenge has stooped to an all-time new low. (I can’t figure out why Michelle Bommarito keeps coming back???)
Even better……get rid of Kerry Vincent. She gets nastier and nastier. Is her head band too tight?
AHHHHH, I’m so pissed I turned this off!!!! I couldn’t take the ugly cakes anymore, but if I had known one was going to fall I would have stuck through to the end! That’s the only thing that makes watching that crap show worthwhile.
who won?
The Samantha cake won.
By default, as all of them were so gawd awful!
Who cares?
Not me, really.
Ummm…how exactly was the Carrie cake “true to her character” other than the tutu part? It looked like a bunch of appliances were stacked precariously on each other, and not edible in the slightest. I have to admit I was not really a fan of the show (how is this woman a “style icon” when more than half the time you see her you have to make excuses for why she looks like she dressed in the dark?), but I would have expected at least a flower.
Ummmm, it was “true to her character” because it included all of the things that you think about when you think of Carrie (the laptop, the Manolo Blahnik shoe, the tutu, and the Empire State building to name a few). Compare that to, say, Samantha’s cake. The thing had a COUGAR HEAD on it, which was pointless and not true to her character at all. She’s slept with and had relationships with guys of all ages, not just younger ones.
Where was the horse face? Now that REALLY makes me think of Carrie.
I would have preferred a condom or diaphragm on Samantha’s cake instead of a cougar’s head. I think Miranda’s cake could have had a some chop sticks, the justice scale can stay, but also something in reference to her son.
If you look at the geometric shapes, it appears to be two adults and a child, so it does include Steve and Brady. Also it looks like the Brooklyn Bridge was included, which represents her move from the City to Brooklyn.
I saw that after I made the statement, my mistake.
It took me a couple minutes of staring at it to realize that’s what it was. Too abstract imo :)
I watch Challange quite a bit and I like Michelle Bommarito’s persona. I almost feel as if we’ve seen her grow up over the years.. she’s probably done 20 of these so far.
Michelle Doll was great on “Throwdown” and was sad to see her crash and burn on this one. Perhaps they will have her back in a future capacity — like “Sugar Rush 2″ or something.
We forget that Aaron Sanchez screwed the pooch on The Next Iron Chef a few years ago… only to come back with his own show Chefs Vs. City (i.e. other FN Chefs). How about developing a show for Michelle? Maybe too niche I suppose.
Keegan Gerhard not really missed too much as host, IMHO. But he is always lurking in the shadows on this show.
Duff started out as a challenger on Challenge too! And he failed miserably during everyone of those episodes!
I’d love to see Michelle Doll in another capacity. She seems pretty funny. Not at all screamy like most everyone else on FN.
The top of the “Carrie” cake looks like a horses head, which is fitting for SJP.
Guess you watch Chelsey Handler too? LOL!
Chelsea Handler, though she’s hilarious, didn’t come up with “SJP looks like a horse.” Have you been under a rock?
I wonder how the Charlotte cake looked before it fell…
It actually looked really nice in itself but I don’t think it fit her character much… :P
I admit to laughing hysterically when the cake fell over. This whole challenge was awful to watch.
You know, I almost watched that. Then I realized that I have my whole life in front of me.
Articles like these put the counmesr in the driver seatvery important.
i’m so glad it wasn’t just me who thought samantha’s cake had nothing to do with her character, as well as the indian theme you mentioned. i couldn’t believe it was chosen as the design, and then when she won? give me a fucking break!
like you said, carrie’s was the one that most fit her character. i couldn’t believe they gave michelle shit for using a the tulle. yep, because that’s the first time something inedible has been presented in fn challenge. i mean, hello? how many times has duff competed?
stoup’s comment reminded me of the high school reunion challenge. you know, i don’t know which one was stupider. that one did have the overly peppy woman who had to participate in EVERY school event and yet manage to remain unpopular. it was actually a bit creepy how much she knew about these people.
but yeah, those two have been the bottom of the barrel. and i must’ve missed the half a second they spent mentioning the third judge for the satc challenge. she apparently knew who the characters were but they never felt the need to include a caption for who she was. was she a superfan, writer, what?
This episode was just torture to watch last week. It showed promise at first… Then the cakes came out. And looked miserable. Perhaps this was an extended metaphor for the SATC movies?
That cheetah head cake was the ugliest cake I have ever seen!It looked like a cross between somthing you’d see in a porn magazine and somthing you’d find in your grandmother’s basement!!!!
Because both porn magazines and my mother’s basement are filled with cakes….
What the heck is on top of the Carrie cake? I’ve stared at it quite a bit and it always just looks like a pick comb to me.
I thought it was a space heater or something, but upon further inspection, I think it’s supposed to be a shopping bag.
I thought the Samantha cake was on queue! She is gaudy, loves to be super bold and I’m pretty sure that she owns that rug. It was perfect for her. All the other cakes were terrible though!
Was world renowned, multiple record holding, and champion of the universe sugar artist Kerry Vincent yawning? What did master cake decorator, superduper pasty chef extraordinaire and owner of some unknown bakery/catering company Patrick Coston think?
eeeeeeewwwwww HORRIBLE cake designs IMHO—
—that being said I’m not a “Sex in the City” fan, whatsoever.
The green balls things on the Miranda cake are the same green beads in the lamp in Miranda’s bedroom. You can’t tell from this pic, but on the cake they are lighted, like the lamp. It was a nice touch (along with the Class of 90 law school mug) from the show on an otherwise odd cake. [Hi, I'm a SATC geek]
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who really hated this challenge. Awful, awful cakes. And you all forgot to mention CLAIRE ROBINSON! Horrible host. Is she doing all of the cake challenges now? At least Keegan knows cake. All Claire knows is the best water bra to wear on camera.
Claire Robinson is awful, and hard to watch. Challenge has officially jumped the shark, IMO.
I also watched this because of the SATC theme. Normally I pass because Kerry Vincent is such an obnoxious bitch and now the nice host, Keegan Gerhard, has been replaced by the Giant Mouth, Claire Robinson. Yuck.
I thought they all kind of sucked, but DID love the tulle base and the awesome pump the chef did for the Carrie cake.
What the hell was UP with the Samantha cake? A ginormous penis cake would have been better than that thing.
Wonder how Kerry Vincent would feel about a ginormous penis cake? Now THAT would be some good television!!!
Stoup, Kerry might whip out her own ‘junk’ just to show the cake who’s boss. :)
Ewww, Diane, wonder if “it” wears a headband, too? :D
That episode was horrible, but then again I rarely see good looking cakes on Challenge.
I’d like to know where even four such women as portrayed in Sex and the City even exist. I find the concept of the franchise repugnant, almost to the point of caricature.
I watched this episode of challenge because Jennifer Matsubara’s assistant, Josh, is hot. I would definitely do him :) I also agree with Jillian that all cakes on this episode were quite fugly. They made my eyes bleed just looking at them. Josh was the soothing “eye candy.”
Martin, do you like Jason Ellis, too? (Doesn’t Josh sometimes assist him on Challenge? Weren’t they both up for the prize on Cruise Cakes?)
My daughter loves watching Jason – she thinks he’s a cutie-patooty.
My hairband pronounces those cakes NOT GOOD.
LMAO at “Kerry Vincent’s Hairband”. Any relation to “Sandra Lee’s Liver”?
Haha. You’re an idiot and this whole article is FAIL. Why don’t you try making any of these cakes based off a show about a bunch of moronic, overly hormonal,whiney,slut*y broads. Using an easy bake oven doesn’t count either, although that is probably your skill set if it’s anything like your writing. The Samantha cake was pretty dead on. Gaudy and over the top. It is also amusing you call the cakes, tacky and ugly but then talk about being a fan of that P.O.S show? HAHA. Too funny.
Also, why the ignorant “cheap Indian Restaurant” comment? You disgust me.
EPIC FAIL = YOU.
Okay…could any of you all do better?…I for one would like to have half of the ideas that these girls had. Jesus Christ…
Do any of you actually do cakes? Compete in sugar arts competitions? To put together a structurally sound multiple tier cake in the allotted time frame AND decorate it in and of itself is a huge accomplishment.
Fondant, gumpaste and other mediums used, take time to dry and are known for being temperamental under extreme conditions such as studio lights. This isn’t a Wilton character pan cake!
When one of YOU can show me that you’ve accomplished this task under the same conditions with cakes that are as complex then you have the right to be judgmental, critical and petty.