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Last night, I did something I almost never do. No, not doodle hearts all over photos of Guy Fieri… but tuned in for an episode of Food Network Challenge! Why? Because they were making Sex & The City themed cakes, and SATC was one of my favorite shows of all time (until they ruined its memory with those insultingly bad movies, but that’s an entirely different post for an entirely different blog.)
The competitors were asked to create cakes that represented each of the 4 characters on the series, but instead, they delivered some of the TACKIEST, UGLIEST CAKES I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
This hideous thing was created by Jennifer Matsubara, who has clearly never watched an episode of Sex & The City in her life. Jennifer topped the cake with the scales of justice because Miranda’s a lawyer, but that’s about the only thing she got right. I honestly have no idea what the hell those dangling green balls were supposed to be (they look like anal beads I saw on HBO’s Real Sex once), and don’t even get me started on those tacky black and white art deco shapes. Um, the show takes place in NYC… not in Miami circa 1991. Sorry, but this cake was a TOTAL FAIL.
Alexandria Pellegrino’s “Samantha” cake was gaudy and lame. A giant cougar head? Wow, I bet it took her like 2 whole seconds to come up with that idea! What a total insult to Samantha’s character. I’m not saying Alexandria had to top the cake with a penis or a diaphragm to pay homage to Samantha, but come on. This cake looks like something you’d see offered for 50 cents a slice at a cheap Indian restaurant. TOTAL FAIL.
Even though Michelle Bommarito’s “Carrie” cake was a hot mess, and ended up looking like something a 4th grader could have put together during art class at summer camp, it was my favorite because it was true to Carrie’s character. Michelle even wrapped the base of the cake in tulle to represent Carrie’s famous tutu. The judges gave her shit for doing so, which only proves they are morons and should not be listened to.
Yeah. That about sums it up. The cake fell apart before it could even be judged. Total fail, Michelle Doll. TOTAL FAIL.
Let’s get Kerry Vincent’s take on all this:
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---Buddy Valastro on Food Network Cake Challenge
---Ace Of Cakes: King Of The Hill Characters
---Buddy Valastro Finally Wins A Food Network Cake Challenge
---Food Network Challenge [YAWN]
---10 Awesome Cakes You Definitely Won’t See Made On “Ace Of Cakes”
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