General: Food Humor »
It’s A Conspiracy!
Published on: May 30, 2010 – 9:53 pm by Jillian Madison 
Comment
“Push here to open?” Yeah, RIGHT. More like “stab here with knife, fork, pen, pencil, nail file, belt buckle, or other miscellaneous pointy objects.”
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Yes! Same with “tear here” on stuff that’s prepackaged. Why must you lie to us??
I alays open the box from the top. Besides how else would you get the cheese packet out?
Even at 33, I still love that stuff! I like it with a hot dog and ketchup :)
You are not alone with the ketchup. The guy’ does it too! Or BBQ sauce. I just don’t look.
I prefer it with Tabasco Sauce
I add canned tuna and peas! My mom always did it to make it go further, I do it because it’s comfort food now.
I’m a sucker for Velveeta & Shells. The blue box however is a favorite around here for the guy’ and dogs. It is a pain to open. I go all Lizzie Borden on it. So does the guy’. My favorite was Walmarts brand that printed the instructions on the side you open to pull the top off. Someone out there had to ask how to prepare. I just know it! LOL’!
It IS a conspiracy. Why must Philip Morris’ kitchen bastard child do this? To hell with them, it’s easier for me to just make my own, dammit.
Yeah, next time just come to my house. My homemade mac & cheese is SO much better. I promise. And no, I didn’t have to steal the recipe for Rachael Ray. ;-)
I could have sworn I saw Sandra Lee make that exact recipe the other day.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
LOL!
I’ve had to the same issue.
I just use one of the spikes from Guy Fieri’s hair and it’s open before you can say “Jack Robinson”…
Ugh, I wouldn’t want any part of greasy Guy Ferry in my home even to open a package of macaroni. Sorry, I’ll just use a knife.
Yeah, for real, NO WAY is Gee (or his “skinny” cousin) coming anywhere close to my kitchen.
LMAO, I’m happy I’m not the only one who’s had a problem with that.
Mmm KD
A few times I’ve ACTUALLY got it open that way. But not as of late.
It’s impossible.
anyone else love the spirals but cant eat the standard macaroni shape?
I prefer the Spongebob Shapes myself. and if they don’t have that, well, I guess Spiderman & Friend will do.
Who’s Spiderman’s Friend? MJ? Isn’t that a bit…mature for the target audience?
So it’s NOT just me… Actually, I’ve never eaten the stuff in my adult life, because I ate WAY too much mac ‘n’ cheese as a kid and I can’t stand the stuff now, but I have two small children and they love it. So I buy the blue boxes in the 5-box bundled economy size, but I always open it with a knife, never have got it to open just by “push here”. Huh–thought I was just too wimpy…
not only does it not break open there, it never has in the past ten years. They must have wasted millions adding the faux perforation to every box. My thumbnail hurts thinking about it.
Haaaa!!! I had this same exact problem and thought the other day! So true!
Not only is it impossible to open, but once you do punch it through, the macaroni gets stuck inside because the opening is protracted inward. This reminds me of those batteries you buy where the package is impossible to open, even with a pair of scissors.
Haha, I was just talking to my boyfriend about this the other day. Never once in my entire life have I ever successfully gotten a box with those “press here to open” perforated lines open without tearing open the top of the box or using a knife.
this could be a great blog on its own…#_)(*%r)#* PACKAGING!
It is the bane of modern existence.
EXACTLY. You pry, push, yank, and then finally stab the damn thing and are so frustrated you end up using undo force to rip the top off and are rewarded by having the whole box rip and the contents go flying.
Effin’ Mac-n-Cheese!! >:(
Brought to you by the same people that created the plastic bags inside boxes of cereal. Tough to open and if pulled too hard you’ve got cereal everywhere.
It IS easier to make homemade. Three ingredients. Cheese (the GOOD cheddar as Ina would say), milk, noodles. That’s it.
But good call, the fake-o perforations on cardboard packaging have been bugging me for about 20 years.
Don’t forget the 1 pound of butter, Ya’ll!
Jillian, I feel your pain.
Since I recently had dental suregery, my soft foods diet has included lots of instant mashed potato flakes.
The boxes cannot be opened without a tool, no matter how strong and angry I am.
(I’m both when I’m hungry)
Would a pull tab be too much to expect?
BTW, this photo you made Jill made it to The Chive today.
Thank you! A million times, thank you! I have eaten innumerable boxes of Kraft mac n cheese, and not ONCE have I successfully pushed on that area and opened the box!! LIES!!!!!!!!!!
I also have problems with “insert tab here to close” such as crackers or cereal boxes. The glue is on there so thick it tears the flaps or the ear that folds into the opposite flap.
I had that exact thought yesterday! I’m glad I’m not the only one!
It’s about time somebody identified this crime against humanity…