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Scripps Bought CookingChannelHumor.com
Posted by Jillian Madison

I have some unintentionally hilarious news to report on this Monday morning: SCRIPPS PURCHASED THE DOMAIN NAME COOKINGCHANNELHUMOR.COM SO WE COULD NOT.

cch

The domain is currently redirecting people to the Food Network’s website (insert eye roll here). This is laughably ridiculous to me for many reasons:

1) Like I’d buy a domain to talk about a crappy new channel 11 people know about – and 5 people are going to watch??? Please.

2) LIKE WE WOULDN’T JUST WRITE ABOUT IT HERE?

3) Like acquiring that domain name would really keep us from satirizing the Cooking Channel?

4) LIKE I COULDN’T JUST THINK OF ANOTHER DOMAIN NAME TO BUY INSTEAD? How about CrappyCookingChannel? Or did Scripps anticipate this post and acquire that name too?

I’m so flabbergasted. Was there a big boardroom meeting to discuss this preemptive strike against satirization, or did some crabby old guy in a suit just set it up on a whim?

This is starting to feel like a “Really?” segment with Seth Meyers on SNL:

“You bought CookingChannelHumor.com? Really, Scripps? REALLY? You’re so terrified of being parodied by two random girls on the internet that you went out of your way and spent money to acquire a domain name in a pathetic attempt to prevent it from happening? REALLY??????”

reallyscripps



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---It’s Official: Food Network Parent Company Now Owns Travel Channel
---Scripps Advertising Fail: Guy Fieri Doing “The Shocker”
---Scripps Networks Acquires Food Network Humor!
---Jeffrey Saad Gets New TV Show With THE LAMEST NAME EVER
---AT&T U-Verse Customers, Say Goodbye To Food Network

    91 Responses

  1. LaLa says:

    Jillian – you should be flattered!

    • Katrinka says:

      I agree, think you should be flattered! Someone needs to comment on David Rocco’s La Dolce Vita. That show is so painful to watch. It has stupid plotting with weirdo characters that show up and horrible music that reminds me of a grade z movie from the 1970′s. There’s no real cooking instruction. So far haven’t been impressed with the network.

  2. Motzi Greps says:

    Girlfriend, you’ve ARRIVED. Congratulations! ♥

  3. Kristen J. says:

    This is so hilarious! It just further proves your awesomeness!

  4. MameDennis says:

    I’m tempted to register cookingchannelhumorhumor.com

  5. Judith says:

    It just proves the total stupidity of the Scripps Network, Jillian , they are scared of you! (insert evil snicker here)

  6. Jonathan Doan says:

    I just love the fact that they have so little faith in their crappy new channel that they caused further problems by ousting themselves! Had they not purchased any possibly- derogatory domain names in anticipation of much ridicule, they never would have begun the viral spread of gossip, starting right here with foodnetworkhumor.com!! Yes, you girls should be flattered that you are indeed making a difference! :-)

    Oh, and you know why they’ve created the cooking channel, right? It’s because their current channel doesn’t have real cooks! Something tells me the Cooking Channel will feel much like the CSPAN of the culinary world.

    • Freezezzy says:

      More like MTV2. Because we all know that they’ll start out innocent enough, but that they’ll end up pushing more reality crap there eventually.

      MTV2: Where the music’s at (or used to be).
      Cooking Channel: Where the food’s at? We shall see.

    • buffalowing says:

      just wait for “semi-global cooking with sandra lee”. sandrunk will just add some herbs de provence, curry powder or sriracha to anything she can think of. store bought peach cobbler, spam omelet, vodka gimlet, doesn’t matter.

  7. Dank Dillweed says:

    Sounds like FN just shit in your cornflakes. Like you said, there are other names.

    And, as Shakespeare beautifully wrote:

    “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
    By any other name would smell as sweet.”

  8. Andra says:

    How much are you loving that they are threatened by you? I think it’s the BALLS!!!! ROFLMAO

  9. oh_come_on says:

    Confirms what we already know about Tuschman, he’s a complete douche! Paranoid much Bob? Bravo Jillian!

  10. Betsy says:

    Umm, if you weren’t looking at buying the domain how did you find out about this?

  11. GreenJeans says:

    therealcookingchannelhumor.com

    theofficialcookingchannelhumor.com

    thehahayoucantstopmefromskewingthecookingchannel.com

    I can see it now…cablevision raising their rates because Scripps needs to budget for all potential slander.

    I think congratulations are in order! But do keep an eye out for sedans parked for hours near your home.

  12. LaLa says:

    I actually tried it,and it does take you to Food Network… has anyone seen the Cruise they are promoting with Cat Cora and Aaron Sanchez? I would consider it if it was Cat and Ina, Mario or Alton… but Aaron??? I’ll pass.

  13. Melissa D'umbass says:

    be british and register cookingchannelhumour.com! ;)

  14. DetourK says:

    Holy shit. This is the stupidest thing I have heard. I wonder if they’re reading this now and thinking DAMMMMNNNNN.

    But at least we know they’re readin’ ;)

  15. Lana says:

    Yes, but have they bought iLoveTheCookingChannel.com? Just wondering if there’s another cable provider war on the horizon ….
    :-D

  16. christellar says:

    haha I agree – if ANTHING? its flattering LOL
    i’m sure you’ll come up with a great follow up hahaha

  17. Ina Garten DaVida says:

    They seem to have snarfed cookingchannelsucks.com already too…right to foodnetwork.com

  18. upar243 says:

    BUT when you google cooking channel humor, the first link is foodnetworkhumor.com! They can’t stop you!

  19. Teague says:

    Well done! You’ve clearly got into there heads.

    Cograts Ladies!

  20. Sandyf says:

    This is funny. How pathetic and petty. HBO wouldn’t do this shit if there was a site bagging on them.

    Food Network = Lowly.

  21. Kenneth says:

    This means that you are officially the shit! Way to go!

  22. Sandra says:

    It’s really sad that we live in a society where having an opposite view is looked down at and you can’t be critical. Jillian you have every right to express yourself, this is America afterall. It’s pathetic that the FN bought that domain, why should they care about this blog? It shows that they aren’t happy with their own product.

  23. Silvio says:

    If they bought the site, something tells me the channel is gonna be as shitty as the FN .

    Maybe they might send some FN “muscle” out to intimidate you. Imagine seeing McGhetto on your doorstoop mumbling incoherent threats. HAHAHAHAHA

  24. Alex says:

    This proves our claims, justifies our snark, and legitimizes our criticism of Food Network. If the Food Network brass really believed in their network’s programming, they wouldn’t try so hard to rail against this site, and/or any criticism in general. Their “excellent” programming would speak for itself. That’s just psychology, not an opinion. With all of that being said, SUCK IT TUSCHIE!

  25. Ray says:

    Congratulations, Jillian! Sounds like you’ve gotten under the very thin skins of the celebs and corporate execs at Food Network/Scripps. Job well done. And in such a relatively short amount of time, too! Give yourself a pat on the back and go out and celebrate. :)

  26. Katie says:

    I nominate this post for “Best Of!”

  27. LaLa says:

    Jillian – I’m so proud of you that I am again sending you a little $$$. Keep up the good work! (And I challenge the rest of you to do so! Jillian spends her own time and money doing this – she doesn’t have large network funding supporting her!)

  28. Diane says:

    EXCELLENT. :D I know I found this site totally by accident while Googling the Food Network site. (had a gripe to share…like they’d listen)
    Now, this is a much enjoyed daily stop and I watch Food Network less and less. That is entirely THEIR fault. Crappy new programming, unbearable hosts, and re-running the same 5 shows of the programs I CAN stand.
    Keep up the great work, Ladies!

  29. fxtech says:

    you got it right jillian! i’m positive the young execs at the network went back and forth, emailing, texting, think tanking, brain storming over how to prevent their new channel from being scrutinized. lame brains….

  30. BOO says:

    Wow! Now this is funny!

    • Ferd Berfle says:

      It’s hilarious. I suggest we make as many comments about the new Cooking Channel as possible, now that we’re even more sure FN is watching us.

  31. ralsteve says:

    This just further solidifies that they know we’re out here, talking, critiquing them…and I just love that. And you put it best Jillian…like we wouldn’t talk about Cooking Channel right here? Of course we will. If they didn’t continuously crank out bad programming and prove themselves to be such screw-ups, we’d have nothing to talk about here now would we? :-)

  32. HAHA You can just see the PowerPoint presentation. Slide 15: Our Options
    - kill him
    - threaten him
    - kill his cat or pet
    - buy domains

    They took the path of least resistance.

  33. Sandra Lee's Liver says:

    Congrats Jillian. You hit the BIG TIME! You have Scripps running scared.

    Too bad for them that we still have this blog to make fun of not only Food Network, but now the Cooking Channel.
    Tell me again, how are these two networks different from each other? Nice try at originality, Scripps!

  34. Di says:

    All so peculiar – we should have C. Isaak or J. Morrison theme accompanying.

    People are strange . . .

  35. Justin H says:

    Congrats

  36. Martin says:

    Here are my suggestions Jillian:
    1.cookingchannelbuffoonery.com
    2.cookingchannelisajoke.com
    3.cookingchanneltravesty.com
    4.cookingchannelnonsense.com
    5.cookingchanneliscrap.com
    6.cookingchanneljive.com
    7.cookingchannelstupidity.com
    8.cookingchannelfailure.com
    9.cookingchannelblunders.com
    10.cookingchannelstench.com

  37. buffalowing says:

    two things…
    like many have said before me, congratulations on arriving Jillian! the fact that the food network has gone to measures like that JUST to keep you at bay means that you have struck at least a chord or two with the higher ups at the network.
    and second, i didn’t think that i could hate susie fogelson any more than i already did, but seeing those two pictures made me want to drop a cement mixer on her from a helicopter.

    keep on keeping on!

  38. kevin says:

    How much is it to buy a domain name anyway? Anyone know?

  39. Martin says:

    Jillian – Apparently Scrpps takes your site very sariously and has invested more than the $20 needed to register a domain name and redirect it. In fact – if you now go to the whois database ypou will see that Scripps has hired a company called MarkMonitor to “protect their brand against defamation.” If you go to the whois database you will see that both CookingChannelHumor.com and CookingChannelSucks.com are now being managed by MarkMonitor and MarkMonitor.com.

    According to MarkMonitors website, MarkMonitor Brand Protection services preserves marketing investments, customer trust, and revenues by assisting in the elimination of confusing and potentially fraudulent use of your brand online. Leveraging the industry’s widest access to online data sources and using patented detection technology to continuously monitor more Internet channels than any other solution, it safeguards brand equity, marketing investments, revenue and reputation from a wide range of brand abuse: traffic diversion schemes, unauthorized channels, counterfeit, pirated and gray market sales, false association, cybersquatting, brand defamation and other online threats.

    This all seems quite serious Jillian and I am a little worried for you and this site.

    • Motzi Greps says:

      When it’s clearly SATIRE, generally speaking–you are safe.

    • Ina Garten DaVida says:

      I agree with Motzi–I don’t think they can do anything to shut you down or send goons to your door. Still a free country.

      They’re just doing a preemptive strike with MarkMonitors, who BTW should get some sort of award for Highest Density of Buzzword Usage in a Mission Statement.

      I wonder if they just hire a bunch of people in India for 20 cents an hour to Google “company name + sucks” and other variations.

      But it’s hilarious that they are on the lookout for “traffic diversion schemes” when they are doing that very thing themselves: cookingchannelsucks.com gets you to foodnetwork.com, pretty much the OPPOSITE of where you want to go, IMO.

    • We’re not doing anything illegal here, or even remotely close to it. We’re sharing opinions and satirizing pop culture & television personalities. And besides, a lot of the things we post are BENEFICIAL and POSITIVE about Food Network and their celebs. We keep traffic flowing to their websites, and keep their chefs in the news.

      As far as I’m concerned, if you’re a celebrity chef, and you’re NOT being talked about on this site, then pretty much no one gives a crap about you and you’re not really worth mentioning. And that’s a career killer… not someone benignly poking fun at your boobs or hair.

      • Motzi Greps says:

        Not to mention the fact that even if we think something on TFN sucks hard (ok, so that is MOST of it), at least we’re watching it! And, in the end–it’s all about viewers and ratings to get those advertising dollars from the big corporations. There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

    • Roger says:

      Don’t forget that we need to benignly poke fun of Susie Fogelson’s penis. It’s still on the “to-do” list.

    • Diane says:

      Jillian doesn’t have anything to worry about. This is America and free speech is still a right.

      If any big business company thinks it is going to squash the negative public views held about their companies, they’re delusional.

      They can employ as many of these ‘anti-defamation’ companies as they want, but people always have and always will find a way to voice their opinions.

      The fact that they ARE taking these steps mean they are aware that many people find their product sub-par.
      Their money would be better spent in sharpening up their programming, their employees, and actually listening to their viewers.

      I simply cannot imagine what kind of mouth breathing moron actually LIKES seeing Guy Fieri featured in 20 separate programs on FN.
      He must be shlobbing somebody’s (or everybody’s) nob over at Scripps.

      • Alex says:

        I’m sure Guy is polishing a few shalaylees at FN. Hey, his name isn’t Guy Ferry for nothing!

      • cg says:

        The content of this blog falls under fair use by either parody/satire/commentary/etc under the DMCA. That will be protected. Is “Food Network” trademarked as the words alone or as the Food Network image only? (For example Weight Watchers has trademarked Points, but only if it is written in their specific font/design since Points is really a common word and you cannot trademark common words.)

        I am not sure on how they have trademarked Food Network which would really be only a problem on the domain name itself- not the content of this site.

        A company has a right to defend their trademark- but if I were Food Network I would be very flattered (even if the content paints my network/employees in a negative light) that people are watching (because let’s face it- a lot of the screen caps and images wouldn’t be obtained if we weren’t watching, am I right?!) and in the end it’s ratings that matter for the advertising on the network.

        I watch Food Network most of the time and I enjoy the shows I do watch MORE thanks to Food Network Humor. My husband and I are also very happy that others share the same thoughts we do when we watch Food Network. :)

    • David says:

      These practices are normal for any large corporation. For example, Walmart employs a similar company to protect its brand name. That company registered walmartsucks.com for example. I wouldn’t take it personally that cookingchannelhumor.com was taken. All it means is that they have noticed your presence (they probably don’t care too much about you though, no offense).

      Love the site, big fan.

  40. Rich says:

    The fact that Scripps has registered all these domains speaks to the fantastic (and wonderfully humorous) job you have done here. The Food Network people are officially paranoid about protecting their Brand.

  41. Kevin says:

    That is probably the best compliment to receive. do they really think that will stop you?

    BTW…only recently found the site…LOVE IT…anytime you make fun of d-bag Guy, it makes my day.

  42. Phantastic says:

    Wow, that is something I would expect from a 15-year-old girl who is offended someone didn’t like her Twilight fan fiction. Food Network is so mature. *eyeroll*

  43. Spatuler says:

    Obviously Scripps realized that they had something to worry about, otherwise they wouldn’t have made such a preemptive strike to begin with. So, good job FNH. No, I won’t be watching the Cooking Channel, and no I do not watch the Food Network anymore but the writing on this site is pretty fucking cool so, I’ll be around for a while. Sorry.

  44. solution9 says:

    Lolll if you look the site up on WHOIS you can see that THEY ALREADY PAID FOR ID PROTECTION!! ROFL!!! Trying to cover their tracks.

  45. d daddy says:

    Some people have the need to laugh at and put down others.I guess it make them feel above who ever.yes this is america where you can speak freely but try and show a sign of inteligence. I’m sure some will rise to my comment.

    • Lana says:

      D Daddy, you didn’t so much get a rise out of me, but rather sparked me to offer this comment in rebuttal: It is QUITE laughable that Scripps bought this domain name; there’s no cogent argument to that. There is no other explanation for the purchase of cookingchannelhumor.com other than to prevent anticipated further mockery. And so, yes. We laugh.

    • Ferd Berfle says:

      I’d “rise” to your comment if it were halfway coherent.

  46. Mandy says:

    Congratulations Jillian! If they are so scared of sarcasm and jokes, you’d think they would try to fix some of the God awful programming instead of taking time to acquire a domain name. Dumbasses!

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