Duff Goldman/Mary Alice »
Duff Goldman’s Signature (There’s A HEART Involved, People)
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Last week, we went to Michaels to check out Duff Goldman’s new line of cake products. I was expecting to see a few cans of icing and maybe a springform pan or two, but I was so wrong. Have you seen his spread there? The guy’s selling cake tattoos, cake batter, and cake graffiti. Angled spatulas, straight spatulas, fondant smoothers, fondant cutters, icing pouches, icing tubs, decorating tips, color gels, and a whole lot more. Duff’s turning into a regular Paula Deen! And a lot of the products were sold out, so congratulations on the success with the “bored, crafty housewives” demographic, Duff & Crew!
HOWEVER.
The only thing that horrified me more than the 92-pound vat of purple buttercream fondant was DUFF’S SIGNATURE. Duff Goldman… big, manly, goatee’d, backwards hat wearin’ Duff Goldman… signs his name HEART DUFF, complete with a delicate little heart at the beginning. Say what?!
As soon as I saw Duff’s autograph, it felt familiar. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but then it hit me! I had seen it before! Other famous people have similar signatures, including:
You’re in good company, Duff. We wish you continued success.
HEART,
FNH
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Duff Goldman Licks Fingers, Serves Cake On The View---Duff Goldman In Hawaii
---Duff Goldman Gets Pwned On Oprah Winfrey
---Photo: A Young Duff Goldman
---Draw Your Own Conclusions: The World’s Most Oddly Appropriate Photo Of Duff Goldman
- Duff Goldman/Mary Alice
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57 Responses
Soooo manly……..(swoon).
Ha ha, NOT!!!!
What a TOOL. Could he have chosen and UGLIER pic of himself with that disgusting 5 o’clock cheek shadow that comes up to his eyes and the hat pulled down to meet the unibrow?
♥Motzi♥
And the blowtorch…don’t forget the blowtorch!!!!
and he half-smile that makes me cringe.
I often wonder how he knows where to stop shaving, I mean the man’s entire face has 5 o/clock shadow
I’m surprised Gillette hasn’t approached him to endorse their razors. I’m sure it will happen, though. He will become as ubiquitous in the retail world as Rachael Ray and Paula Deen. Pfft. Get back behind your counters, FN “personalities”. No one wants to buy your crap.
hohoho.
really this clown out tools doucheguy ferry.
mikeytwoshoes – i’m surprised the original doucheguy hasn’t started selling his hair dye and suncreen.
Don’t forget the spray-tan and hair products! ;)
Have to admit, can’t hate Duff, the Ace of Cakes does not upset me in the least. True the heart thing is a little weird but..no biggie. Now if you want to see me go into a rant…show me Cake Boss. Buddy and his family make me want to vomit.
Buddy’s cakes put Duff’s to shame. I mean honestly every time they show Carlo’s Bakery it is overflowing with people buying stuff. They make good stuff and the decorating is a league above Charm City.
Given that cake boss is even more contrived than Ace of Cakes, that would not surprise me. But when you also think that Carlos sells a whole range of pastry and cakes, it makes sense. Charm City is not a store you would go to pick up your daily cannoli. I will take laid back over uber Italian hysteria any day. I get enough of that at family gatherings.
I can only guess it has something to do with Baltimore being Charm City: you know, a heart is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of charm. Or something like that.
While crabs, sailboats, or, say, syringes may be more fitting icons for this city that counts me as an inhabitant (alas, I’m not on CCC’s side of town, nor am I much of a Duff fan, occassionally watching his show to merely see what local sites make it off the cutting room floor), a heart is the easiest of the lot to draw.
When I think of baking and cake decorating, the first thing that comes to mind is a blow torch.
Are none of you aware that ironic non-manliness is the new masculine? I’m being dead serious. And from the ‘indie scenester’ vibe that his staff gives off, I’m not surprised about this at all. Hell, he probably also has a Hello Kitty picture credit card.
So what we should *really* be bitching about is how Duff is too much of a trendy hipster.
I don’t know. I’m not buying it. I base manliness on one simple question: WOULD MY FATHER DO IT? And the answer here is a resounding HELL NO.
Guys? Let’s hear it. Would you ever sign something with a playful little heart?
Only if I’m reliving my childhood, but this time as a 12 year old girl.
Well I’m a girl and cutesy signatures were never acceptable in my crowd. Must be a tough crowd,eh?
But I think it’s just PRECIOUS that Duff’s all about the hearts&flowers&all – just says “creampuff” to me
Yes Jillian, but your father probably wouldn’t have changed the diaper of a baby either… times change. I’m not saying that the little heart isn’t kinda weird but the “would my father do it” cannot be applied everywhere, jmho.
Actually, my father changed my diapers all the time. A heart is a heart, and I don’t think drawing a heart next to your signature is manly. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with NOT BEING MANLY, I just was surprised to see it coming from Duff. That’s all.
Don’t get me wrong, while what I said is still a very legitimate trend, I think this is a case of “UR DOIN IT WRONG.” I do actually agree that his signature does look like a 12yr old girl’s – I’m just saying that he probably INTENDED it in the ironic way I described.
I’m just going to pretend it’s a badly-drawn chef’s hat. Back to my pillow-fort of Denial….
“pillow-fort of Denial….” Fantastic imagery! LOL!
This is the first time Duff Goldman has ever been compared to someone as amazing as Britney Spears. That’s some on the next level shit there.
This guy should be flogged in public.
Looks like Humpty Dumpty.
indeed he does.
And we all know HumptyDumpty was pushed!
OMG, no one over the age of 11½ should be signing anything with a little frilly heart. Male or female aside, this just screams of “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” behavior. It’s despicable. To write it off as hipster/scenester vibe is laughable… Who is this guy’s agent?
Haha im gonna be 21 years old and i sign a heart with my name…only on greeting cards though….and im a woman!
Every time I see this guy and his creepy-crawly crew all I can think is that every one of them needs 1) a scrubbing with a really stiff-bristled brush and 2) a Hep C test.
I’m pretty sure that no one was waiting for Duff to turn 18 years old so they could feel a little less perverted when ogling.
“Icing tubs”? It should say “tub o’ fondant”, because Cakeboy hasn’t frosted a single damn cake. Him and his crew of hipsters just drape everything in fondant, add a few Play Doh-looking sculptures and call it a day. Oh, and Geoff needs to lay of the Ambien.
Is that what he’s on? I was ready to bet it’s special brownies or something similar…
It’s Geof not Geoff, two Fs in the name isn’t hipster enough for him.
I swear at first glance, I thought it said BUFF!
LOL!
He wishes!
Same rofl
Ummm….wasn’t Duff a “tagger” back in the day? That would explain his signature.
Just not the heart.
I’d probably consider buying his products if they are indeed quality. We all know Pauler’s are as fake as her hair, teeth, tan….youngest son…..need I say more??
Quality? Highly unlikely.
Overpriced? You betcha.
A few seasons ago, during an episodes of Ace of Cakes, Duff was talking about how they get their fondant shipped to them in giant tubs… so… is he just slapping his name on the fondant that his bakery uses? Because it obviously isn’t his own recipe.
So when is he going to come out of the closet? I’m ready to hear it. Probably the same time that Bobby Dean does. Which will probably be never. Or at least not until his “girlfriend” finds out.
He truly is the Ace of Tards.
I wouldn’t count on items being sold out. it’s more likely that they haven’t arrived yet. That section in the Micheal’s by me is still missing half the stuff because they haven’t gotten it in yet.
I haven’t signed my name with a heart since the 3rd grade.
I can’t stand this guy. He and Guy Fieri need to form their own frat – Alpha Tau Douchebag. Along with Scott Conant, Chris Santos, Bobby Flay and the Deen brothers.
Alton Brown is FN’s only redeeming quality.
He’s a “doosh”
Everytime I see this tool I just want to give him IV fluids…STAT.
Can I just punch Miley, Britney and Hilary in the face and call it a day? Or is that just totally uncalled for?
Spatuler – Punching is ok by me! Spend a long time on Miley Cyrus, please. She needs that possum-eating grin slapped right off of her.
No but we can punch you! Haha!
I’ve had my suspicions
I’m just curious how much one of those cakes costs- I bet it’s a fortune. That truly is the creepiest bunch of people I have ever seen and when I have nightmares, it’s Duff laughing or Geof mumbling while on too much Ambien (whoever posted that, it was hilarious).
Direct quote from their website:
“Because all of our cakes are priced individually by the complexity of their design, we do not have a standard price list.
Due to the care we give to each cake and the one-of-a-kind nature of each order, we require a minimum of $1000 on all of our cakes.”
So the most basic cake they do will cost you at least $,1,000. Who are these people who order these things? Some of my friends figure it’d be cheaper to have a starving artist sculpt something for you that will last for years and just buy a normal cake. Seriously, if you want to throw away your money, just send it to me. I swear it’ll do the world more good than giving it to Duff for mediocre cakes.
Wow, I just went through more of their site. They are booked on orders pretty much through 2011. Seriously, who are these people with all this money?
I love how they say “We do not give tours in the shop” yet throughout the series of the show, they give tours to all kinds of folks. They logically say you wouldn’t want a group of people wandering through your local eatery, but they do it all the time.
It looks like a canned graffiti font to me, I’m questioning whether it is his actual autograph. I swear I’ve used a truetype font that looked like that in my graphics work.
Also. Pink????
Fyi… his animal print cake tattoos are genious! The picture of that cke with them is gonna be my 21st birthday cake…..its gorgeous…i love bright colors and animal print… give duff a break, he is doing a great job..him and his friends r so talented. U guys r only talking crap because you are jealous that u cant do what he does
I find Goldman gross. Take away that braying jackass laugh and the single word “awesome” and what is left? Not much.
Haha! I can’t believe my sister loves his shows. LOL!