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UPDATE: Donations To FNH From Food Network Hosts (The Alton Brown Throwdown)
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A few weeks ago, Alton Brown made a very generous donation to this website, and graciously offered to match the pledges sent in to us by other Food Network hosts. Since then, we didn’t stalk the other Food Network chefs or stand outside their studios jingling coffee cups filled with change. We simply sent out a few messages via Twitter, fired off an e-mail to Paula Deen, offered to give a portion of the donations to FeedingAmerica.org, and sat back and waited to see what would happen.
So how did it go? Did the Food Network chefs donate enough for us to secure the upgraded web server and computer equipment we so desperately need?
The total dollar amount donated to Food Network Humor by other Food Network hosts was… (drumroll please)…




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That’s right! ZERO! Not two cents, or one cent, but ZERO!

And you know what? I’m not the least bit surprised. The fact that so many of these personalities take themselves so seriously is the reason we started this website to begin with. They’re completely unwilling to laugh at themselves, and refuse to acknowledge just how ridiculous their channel can sometimes be. Perhaps Alton Brown KNEW the other hosts wouldn’t donate, and only extended the offer to match their pledges to so brilliantly drive that very point home.
Before I close this topic for good, I want to sincerely thank Alton Brown and the other FNH readers who have donated to this site. As you may know, I don’t get paid to write or maintain FNH, and I pay all the hosting bills out of pocket every month. Your contributions help keep the site afloat, and I’m very grateful you’re all here reading. I hope I can continue to bring a few laughs to your days for many months to come!
And now, back to your regularly scheduled Food Network Humor!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Alton Brown Donates $100 To FNH; Offers To Match Pledges Of Other Food Network Hosts---Dear Alton Brown, The Internet Is Worried About You
---Whoa, Alton Brown Is SKINNY
---Alton Brown, Upon Finding Someone Drank The Last Of His Welch’s Grape Juice
---Happy Birthday, Alton Brown
- General: Food Network
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THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.











87 Responses
I’m not too clear on this, Jillian. Are you saying you got zero donations?
I am not surprised either! Screw them! We don’t need their money! I donated and I hope other people do the same.
I love you FNH!
Did any of them even reply, or did they just completely ignore you?
Phooey on the rest of the “chefs,” “cooks,” “personalities” on FN!
This is my first post; I’ve been a lurker for a long time. I love this site–the posts, the comments, the snarkiness. Yay FNH!
What is truly sad is the fact that most of these so-called “chefs” I mean c(r)ooks have made a huge portion of their money off of people who have brought into their “branding”–purchasing c(r)ookware off websites, and stores. Target has a Giada line. I’ve seen Paulers stuff at Walmart. Let’s face it. The people who buy this stuff probably cannot afford the really good stuff (hence, why am I at Walmart–LOL)but just think these personalities are just “so adorable” and “such nice people”.
Well, these c(r)ooks cannot even donate to a cause that has left many people without food–due to our horrific economy and other reasons. It is pitiful. It’s funny–I rarely even watch the garbage on FN anymore, but I will always watch “Good Eats” and when I see AB on commercials, I always now equate him with his donation via this site.
Thank you Jillian..thank you so much for having a website that exposes these morons for what they truly are!
I am going to get blasted for this, but that is okay. I have enjoyed this site for a long time now. Most of your stuff is hilarious Jill. The Food Network just gets worse and worse with its programing, I cannot even watch anymore except as a last resort when nothing else is on.
This post takes the cake however! Come on Jill, you treat some of the personalities humorously but fairly, but you are just downright rude to others! Guy Ferry has to be your number one target. Okay, he is a douchebag, but can you honestly claim some of the stuff you post about him is just humor and not personal attack? Did you really think these people would PAY you to attack them? Surely you are not that dense! Give it a rest. Please, keep doing what you are doing. It is a good site and even if you can be way over the top at times I still enjoy it. But please can the sanctimonious crap like this! I do not think even Aunt Sandy is stupid enough to actually give you money for ragging her!
I’d have to agree with Sean there. And if a food network personality was inclined to give some money, why not to the Red Cross or whatever disaster is happening this week? Really, you think they should give it to some blog that makes fun of them that they probably don’t even read?
First, if a Food Network personality was going to give money, you’d think they’d want to give it to a FOOD RELATED CHARITY, hence FeedingAmerica.org which helps put food on the table of people who need it most. Paula Deen, for one, has been associated with it for awhile.
Second, if you read my post, you’d notice I clearly said that “I WAS NOT SURPRISED” that the Food Network chefs did not donate to this website. Why would they? People who can’t laugh at themselves certainly aren’t going to contribute to a site that pokes fun at them. Hence this post. I knew none of them were going to contribute, despite my offer to donate some of it to charity – and despite Alton Brown’s offer to match pledges. I have a feeling he knew it, too.
That’s hardly “sanctimonious” – it’s realistic.
Hi, people,
I’ve been another fellow lurker for a while; this is my first post.
I’ve been wondering about Mr. Brown. I think he’s as capable of a huge ego as any of the others. Might he have known that nobody else would contribute, thereby making him look like the good guy?
I sense that he’s as full of himself as all of the rest.
I do agree, though, that I wouldn’t expect contributions from the major targets here. AB surely gets the most praise and respect, so he might just be taking care of himself after all.
In my first post, I’d also like to say that this is the only site I’ve ever read that makes me burst out laughing all the time. It’s hilarious, especially when you write about something I’ve thought myself. The validation that someone else shares the same opinion makes it that much funnier.
JayJay
Jay Jay replied on: June 3rd, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Hi, people,
I’ve been another fellow lurker for a while; this is my first post.
I’ve been wondering about Mr. Brown. I think he’s as capable of a huge ego as any of the others. Might he have known that nobody else would contribute, thereby making him look like the good guy?
============================================================
Being “capable of a huge ego” and having one are two different animals. He more than any of the FN zombies has every reason to have a big ego, but he doesn’t. AB is the most sensible and down to earth personality at that whole network. His statement a while back that he doesn’t fraternize or socialize with those other cretins (my word) is more than enough to show he has his head on straight. I don’t think he did this to make himself “look like a good guy”….I think he did it to show all those other assholes up…which is what they need….somebody to give them a reality check.
Frankly, I’m most surprised Guy Ferry DIDN’T pitch in. If he had, he would have come off as a total A+ hero, or at the very least increasing his status from Douche to Tolerable in the eyes of his most critical viewers.
He claims to have a sense of humor, his dream is to host SNL, he loved their parodies of him, and he obviously “gets” sarcasm as a form of humor (see Entourage Management via ozersky.tv).
Jill’s obsession with Guy’s, er, fundamental reproductive organ of questionable size (?) is the most hilarious on-going joke on this site, IMO.
Surely he (or his people for him) can see that! Really, it’s a shame no one had the intestinal fortitude to call on Alton’s throwdown. Yet?
#MissedOpportunity
I have to agree with Lana – if any of the other hosts had contributed, they would have come off looking great. And as far as this site lambasting them, it is obvious that FN’s motto is “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”
Didn’t see this comment prior to posting mine. Agree 100%.
“I am going to get blasted for this, but that is okay.”
Is that because your employer pays you regardless?
Jill you said you were not surprised that none of the Food Network hosts donated. I have to say I ~am~ surprised that none of them did. This was a wonderful oppertunity to earn some major brownie points with a lot of people, and none of them took advantage of that at all. To me that only does prove the point that they are worthy of the mockig they sometimes receive here.
Paula Deen’s web guy wrote me an email saying that she was “out of town” but he’d “bring it up to her” when she got back. He closed the email by saying:
“Love to see you raise a bundle and we’ll do what we can on this end.” Apparently “seeing what they could do on that end” included ignoring us from that point forward. Personally, I’d rather get no reply than some phony email to try to appease me.
““Love to see you raise a bundle and we’ll do what we can on this end.” Apparently “seeing what they could do on that end” included ignoring us! I love it. I’d rather get no reply than some phony email to try to appease me.”
So you’d rather be ignored than have someone wish you well on this endeavor? Yeah, ego.
Yes. I’d rather be ignored than be patronized. He had zero intention of donating, and he knew it.
Been lurkin’ first post, blah blah:
Uhm. I think this may be more of a communication error than a flat out snub. They probably get tons of tweets a day and I doubt they go through every single one. It’s possible that they just missed it. And did Alton Brown let them know about this? If you’re going to challenge someone, it helps if they know their being challenged. From the comments above, it doesn’t seem like this website has a great relationship with any of the chefs except Alton; maybe it would’ve helped if he had let them know as well?
Unless Alton is trollin’ the rest of the chefs just to prove a point (and I wouldn’t put it past him). There’s that.
Also, it doesn’t look like you or Alton specified a date to have donations in.
also: *they’re. God damn it I told myself I’d never make that mistake D:
You make a pretty good point. I have a feeling that may have happened. However, even if they don’t know and are made fully aware of the challenge, most probably won’t donate.
Wait, so people are crying foul because celebrity chefs don’t want to actively (read: financially) support a website that’s sole focus is to mock and denigrate them on a daily basis? And you’re somehow surprised? Not sure if that’s ego or lack of common sense talking, but the indignation is laughable even by internet standards. Get off your high horse, what do you expect from people that use Elmer’s Glue to paste cookies onto a wedding cake, and a guy whose idea of sushi involved french fries and bbq sauce? Ask your readers for donations instead, I’ve got five on it.
Can you read Kizzle? No one was surprised .. and this website, actually gives them publicity which they should be thankful for. Take a look at Anne Burrelle, FNH mentions her and her twitter followers triple.
I love how you use an incredibly rare positive post to illustrate your point, hilarious. Yes, I’m sure Guy should be incredibly thankful that this site rips him a new hole every chance they get (regardless of how minor the issue). You don’t see the inherent lulz in asking that same dude to fund this site? Again, I would be happy to fork over some dough via Paypal as a reader of this site, but find it delusional to expect the targets of the parody to jump at the change to fund its day-to-day existence.
It keeps their name and the network in the news and on people’s mind — any press is good press Kizzle. Duh.
Yes, I’m sure Guy should be incredibly thankful that this site rips him a new hole every chance they get>>
If he gave a shit (or his handlers) he would change. Apparently , he thinks it works.
You know, if someone wants to be deluded about who and what they are, I don’t have a problem with that.
Unlike Guy FERRY, I know who I am.
No one is crying anything. Alton challenged the other chefs to step up and contribute, probably because he knew they wouldn’t, and he wanted to prove a point.
This is only speculation here, but damn. He knows those people. We don’t.
Where did ~anyone~ say they were surprised that the Food Network chefs didn’t donate? None of us were surprised! Try reading the posts before you run your mouth!
@Alexis, with all due respect, I am surprised, at least to some degree. Not that FN hosts will continually fund the site – just think passing on a one-time donation is a missed opportunity for some good pr in a place its most needed, for the low low price of a Ben Franklin, give or take.
I’m a total optimist. I’ll continue to claim no one’s donated YET. :)
guys, alton brown is a genius. he had to have done this because he knew none of those other people on the network would donate to this site. fnh just played along but in the end the joke was on the food network chefs as usual. jillian, nor any of the readers, expected anyone to donate!!!
HolyShit ladies! With all lust for BEN, ya gotta check out NEO’S pic!
This is saddening because it’s obvious that a lot of the Food Network cast has been to FNH.com at least once… Alton Brown, Annie Burrell are two I can name off-hand but I’m sure Jillian can name more..
These people may not be billionaires but they can easily toss $100 to FNH.
The hosts claim to have great senses of humor and try to be amusing on their shows but the real humor comes when you don’t take yourself so seriously.
At the end of the day, no matter how much we all make fun of them, they will still get paid absurd amounts of money to cook…on television…
(P.s. to Jillian: You’re awesome! Most humor sites are run by guys (Cheeseburger network, for one) so it’s really nice to see a woman running a humor site and being proud of it. Keep up the good work! The inequality in comedy will only go away when we stand up for what’s funny!)
^— Finally, I sign up for a real account.. hah
Well now, this is just the icing on the cake — off come the gloves, Jillian — let ‘er rip!!!!!
I’ve suspected for a while based on reduced airings of GE, various comments, etc that AB is ready to move on from FN, and doesn’t intend to re-up his contract when it expires this year. This whole thing seems to support that guess.
I will be very sad when the show ends, but I suspect it’s coming soon, like you. :(
His cookbooks are titled “The Early Years” and “The Middle Years.” That definitely implies a “Later Years” and the timeline suggests that’s now. :(
I really hope he moves on to something else where I can get my Alton fix. A blog would be awesome. Otherwise I’ll be reduced to dvr’ing Welch’s commercials. LOL
I could see him landing on PBS or Discovery channel with a show on science, the environment, and/or history. Maybe cooking, but honestly, I think he’s Altonized pretty much every conceivable Good Eat out there, some multiple times. At this stage, I’m sure he’s well off enough that he could just hang out on his back porch with his family most of the time, occasionally directing and/or hosting the odd interesting documentary.
Bobby Flay can’t help you out. He needs to save up for his breasts reduction surgery coming up damnit!
lmao!
Chances Adam Gertler gets another job in television: Zero
Ha!
Man, these TV “personalities” really need to grow a pair.
At first, my jaw dropped, in something like surprise.
And then the jaded cynicism kicked back in.
*rolls eyes*
Alton, thank you for being awesome. Too bad the rest of the guys on the network can’t appreciate humor.
Just curious-will a portion of the reader’s donations be given to the charity? Or will all of those be used for the website and the equipment upgrades?
That is certainly something we can open up for discussion when and if we ever get over the “costs” of upkeeping the site, as no real profits have been made yet. As Jillian has said before she is in the process of upgrading some stuff because of the high amount of traffic flowing in, and once the podcast launches this summer will will need some space to host that as well.
WTF Ann Burrell? This blog added over 100 people to her Twitter following, she tweeted the nicest things about Jill and FNH…and not even she will take up AB’s gauntlet?
Does anyone know Anthony Bourdain’s Twitter identity (if any)? Because if he’s in the right mood, he could have a ball making fun of those twerps.
Add me to those not surprised that you didn’t hear anything of substance from the others. Makes them look like even bigger douches (raises Alton, IMO). Yeah, I’m sure they wouldn’t want to bother with donating to anything that isn’t one of their FN-branded charities.
Anyone have the 501(3)(c) info on shareourstrength.org and greatamericanbakeslae.org? It would be interresting to see who exactly set those up and any corporate affiliation.
Why the would they want to donate to a site that points out how lame they are on a daily basis??? LOL
Why did Alton challenge them to is the question? He knows they deserve it and wanted to make a point.
Whoa. You guys are all way too serious. This is a HUMOR site. If someone kept calling me a douche I might not want to give them money. On the other hand, I might strike a pose and give them a ton of money.
It’s so interesting to me how people can get so mad at each other over something so completely insignificant. Perspective is a wonderful thing. This site is also a wonderful thing! Thanks Jillian.
Can we get back to slamming Aunt Sandy now? I love that. Talk amongst yourselves, who do you think is dumber, Sandy or Aaron?
Love the site, but you’ve got to be kidding if you expect Guy Fieri and Giadi to donate money on behalf of this website. That would seem…almost masochistic…
I don’t think anyone expected him to, which is probably why Alton threw the challenge out, to make the rest of the hosts look even worse!
What this site does for loads of people is priceless. It might not pay the bills, but if it can make a few people laugh…..it’s done a great thing. I’m sure Jillian and Michelle already know that. :) I just want to thank you both for making me laugh my ass off everyday.
Some of the postings are slightly humorous. Others are nothing but downright cruel.
I suppose if that’s what makes most people laugh, this site has a long future ahead of it.
Sad, really.
I’m sure that both Jillian and Michelle would be the first to cry foul if someone made derogatory remarks towards them.
Wondering, in fact, if this post will be deleted.
It’s clear to me the point of this post was to just update everyone on the fact none of the other hosts donated! It was Alton Brown who threw down the challenge for them to, even boasting he would match the other host’s donations (not the ladies who run this site.) Not commenting or updating on said challenge would have been inappropriate. And, if you read the post you will see Jillian said she wasn’t shocked!
But, as someone who works in P.R. I can tell you that it would have been in their interest to throw a few bucks FNH’s way. How often do they get the opportunity to show that they DON’T take themselves too seriously? Trust me, this site is in the RSS reader of everyone over at the food network. The “cool” personalities both on and off air love it, the up-tight paranoid airheads (like Tyflo) don’t.
And as soon as Jillian or Michelle become rich and famous as “chefs” and then start selling their own line of mattresses, I think it’s safe to assume any “derogatory remarks” you make about them would pale in comparison. Now move along and crawl back into your hole.
Your response just speaks to your character. I did not insult them, just expressed my opinion. It’ll take a lot more than that to make me go away.
I’ve not said anything derogatory about the administrators of this site.
Jordan, I’m genuinely curious. Why do you come here and comment? You really don’t seem to get any pleasure or enjoy the sarcastic humor of this blog at all–so why? In the earlier post, I felt you felt you were defending Lisa, but I don’t think that’s the case here, so…why?
Because it’s my right as an American citizen to express my opinion.
and the fact that you would hang around a website you don’t find funny or get any pleasure out of just to make snide comments just speaks to YOUR CHARACTER Jordan (and speaks volumes about your life, or lack there of.)
Jordan: “I did not insult them”
Jordan: (from another thread) “Actually, my mental health specialist told me today that this site is run by, and read by, idle people who possess half a brain.”
If you don’t like the site, or the people who visit, move along. Life is too short to spend it around people or places you don’t enjoy. What does that tell us about your character? /agree with Samus.
Do you express your opinion thusly on other websites that you disagree with? What makes you keep coming back to this one?
Jordan, you should remember that I can see your IP address. Exactly which Food Network personality are you?
I don’t think he is one. I think he’s a friend of Lisa’s, who got all “devastated”, when Alton Brown donated to your site, Jillian, and feels somehow obligated to defend her by hating us. If he’s her true friend, we’re the Enemy. Except we’re really not.
Reasons for not donating:
RR: sorry had to buy pasta
Bobby Deen’s fat mother: sorry had to buy more butter
Ina: sorry had to buy “good” olive oil and mayo
Fieri: sorry had to pay for new douchey tattoo
Aaron: sorry had to pay for English diction lessons
Bobby: sorry had to pay child support
Aunt Sandy: sorry had to pay for own tablescapes for new season of Semi Ho!
LOL! Good ones. :-)
Scott Conant: “I have PLENTY of money, what with selling my soul and all, but I’M PURE EVIL!!”
Geez, did anyone read till the end? She says she’s NOT surprised they didn’t donate. Personally I’m not either, but it would’ve been nice if they did!
Hakuna Fritatta-
Share Our Strength – two star rating
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=4465
@JTDavies, that’s 2 years old. Do you know of any more current info?
No, sorry. Most of the charities have information up to 2008.
From their website at http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=content.view&cpid=484#11
Charity Navigator receives copies of the Form 990 directly from the IRS shortly after a charity files. Thus our ratings are based on the most current information made public by each charity. We publish the fiscal year ending (shown as ‘FYE’ followed by a month and year) on each charity’s rating page so you know the time period our rating covers.
That said, charities are given 135 days following the end of their fiscal year to prepare and file their Form 990. Beyond that time limit, many charities request extensions, including an additional four-month time limit, which are automatically approved by the IRS. As a result, organizations often file their 990 eight to ten months after their fiscal year ends– a lifetime in financial sectors. If the charity you are considering has outdated financial information, we encourage you to contact them and tell them you expect them to be timelier. Their timeliness in reporting their data will allow you to make smarter giving decisions.
First of all – props to AB. I’ve been a huge fan since the early years. I own all his books and have read every one of them from cover to cover (yeah, i’m a nerd like that).
Secondly – Jillian, I just wanted to point out that some of the other FN celebs are doing all kinds of good for various charities on their own. For example, check out what Michael Symon just threw down yesterday: http://bit.ly/bKTFcM
Also – if it hasn’t been mentioned yet, his twitter stream is pretty good too. Not full of endless pats on the back and foodgasms either. Check it: http://twitter.com/mdsymon
I’m not sure if it was about “how much the personalities donate” as much as it was about ARE THEY REAL People that know how to laugh
As a food network viewer and frequent reader of the site I have started to really see the inflated egos of a lot of food network personalities more often than I use to. It sucks that Alton Brown is the only one that appreciates the hard work you do. A majority of these chefs owe their success to us the viewer and you’d think that you doing a charitable act would get some type of response even if they don’t like your commentary they should see that your intentions are noble. Why so serious Food Network?
Keep up the good work!!!
I am on-off FNH reader. Same with Food Network.
I enjoy most of the FNH posts. And most ARE funny. But others are downright personal, cruel and sometime even vicious. Ever consider that AB is never put down like the others? I must admit that he is my favorite FN personality. But it was easy for him to donate cause he doesn’t have nasty things said about him. And if part of the money goes to charity, I assume the other FN guys would prefer to give directly than give FNH a cut.
Commenting about the FNH personalities’ eccentricities and idiosyncrasies is funny. Making up stuff and then poking fun at them when you don’t have any real material is desperate. My two cents.
Actually, if you go back to some of the posts that were made about his weight loss last year, somne of those posts were cruel and vicious.
I know. Particularly the ones that insinuated he HAD to have cancer, or anorexia, or some other major disease he was simply not disclosing yet. Or that he was dying. But a lot of people, including myself, repudiated those posts. Not all of us, or even the majority of us, are cruel and vicious. Don’t paint us all with a broad brush–the same way you would not want to be judged by a post not of your authorship, don’t do the same to us.
No one expected Food Network personalities to donate. Not me, not Michelle, probably not even Alton. This post was *A JOKE* and was meant to be a quick update on last month’s Alton Brown post. I’m not seriously upset because some guy whom I called a douchebag didn’t give me fifty dollars. Get real, guys.
We know you’re laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. Don’t we all value ourselves based on what Guy Fierri thinks? I’m constantly stopping myself from making big mistakes in my life by thinking that I don’t want to disappoint Guy.
Just the other day, I started to put my sunglasses on over my eyes because the sun was bright. But I thought that Guy wouldn’t do that. It’s more important to shade the back of my neck. And look uber-cool in the process.
Kizzle = Susie Fogelson???
Duh! you make fun of them why would they send your lame ass money…get another hobby or a real job your site sucks. Guy has more talent and personality in his little finger than you do in you pathetic life
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A GUY FIERI FAN SCORNED!
That’s right, Scott
BTW, who signs your paycheck?
Is there a reason my comment from Friday wasn’t published? I’m new here, so I’d really like to know if something I said was against the rules…
Mine was too. I know I didn’t write anything inappropriate for viewing.
kinda demonstrates that ALTON BROWN IS THE ONLY Food Network host that has DAMN SENSE OF HUMOR.
I’m not surprised either Jillian.
We love you Alton Brown AND We love you FNH!
Just a tip: if you want to make more money from the ads, find a better paying network. ;)
blogHer ads has a food blog section, BlogAds does too – heck even text-link-ads.com would be better.
BlogHer has a waitlist, and BlogAds isn’t accepting new blogs, but if you have any other ideas we’d be glad to hear them.
Love Alton. He is the only one on that entire network with a sense of humor. Love Live Good Eats!