NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.

Next Food Network Star »

Next Food Network Star: Episode 1 Recap (6/6/2010)
Posted on June 7th 2010 by Jillian Madison

Another year, another season of Next Food Network star!

This year, dishonest Koreans, humorous homosexuals,  and spice smugglers: OUT!

Boring people, unnecessary push-ups, and lame props: IN!

This is the first season of Next Food Network Star to be filmed in Los Angeles, so perhaps that’s why everything felt more scripted, more personality-focused, and more MTV Real World-ish than ever before.

Also new to the show this year is the introduction of Giada De Laurentiis as a mentor and judge. “I’m living proof that Food Network can make you a star,” Giada bragged to the finalists as they walked into their new kitchen. Coincidentally, she’s also living proof it’s possible to simultaneously show every one of your teeth.

nfns601-1

For their first challenge, the finalists were given 45 minutes to personify themselves in a plate of food. Before they started cooking, Brad put on his grandfather’s lucky hat, Herb hyper-actively punched an invisible speed bag, and Das told us he was going to make a dish that was “easy on the eye.” Really? Easy on just one eye? Who the hell does he think he’s cooking for, Tom Cruise in Valkyrie?

Das took a few moments to talk about how good looking he thought he was, and then used a $500 pan to beat some chicken breasts to within an inch of their lives:


Next, the finalists had to do an on-air presentation of their dishes. With the exception of  Aria (who’s clearly the bastard love child of Sunny Anderson and Rachael Ray), their performances went from bad, to cringe-inducing, to unspeakably horrifying. Despite all that beating, Das’ chicken was raw, and he came across as unnatural and unlikable. Doreen Fang was awkward and nervous,  Herb had gigantic sweat stains all around his armpits, and Brianna just reminded us of a rejected castmember from Bravo’s Real Housewives series. (And for the record, I’d rather spontaneously combust than go to one of Aarti’s Parties, thank you very much.)

The next day (or “whenever” in the world of reality TV), the contestants headed to Paramount Studios to shoot a cooking promo. Sadly, some of them chose to use THE LAMEST PROPS KNOWN TO MAN:

next food network star on food network humor

next food network star on food network humor

next food network star on food network humor

next food network star on food network humor

Doreen Fang decided to skip the props, but her script was a bit… how shall I say this… FUCKING HILARIOUS:

next food network star on food network humor
(Not edited in any way. This is actually how it aired. Priceless.)

After they had all sufficiently screwed up their promos, Bobby Flay told the finalists they’d be catering a 6-course meal for a mysterious celebrity chef. A few moments into the challenge, Dzintra Dzentis got something in her eye and had to go to the emergency room (and by the way, thanks for grossing us all out with those nasty up-close photos of her inflamed tear duct, Food Network). The bad news is she missed the rest of the challenge. The good news is she missed out on all of Herb’s asinine jazzercise sessions.

The next day, the finalists found out they’d be serving food to Bobby Flay and Wolfgang Puck. That’s when Alexis made a face that no man has any business making on prime-time television:

next food network star on food network humor

I rest my case.

Once again, most of the chefs sucked ass while presenting to Wolfgang Puck. Paul murdered his salad by putting 900 gallons of dressing on it, Doreen nervously apologized after failing to add all the ingredients to her soup, and Dzintra actually uttered the phrase “it’s like putting your egg into somebody else’s womb.” Yeah. Don’t even ask.

next food network star on food network humor

In the end, the goody two-shoes Rachael Ray/Sunny Anderson clone Aria was named the winner of the Wolfgang Puck challenge, even though her focaccia was raw. Bob Tuschman referred to her as “a woman I wanna be around,” which has to go down as a real first in that department for ol’ Bob.

Alexis, Doreen, and Das were the bottom 3 finalists, but ultimately, Alexis was sent home because he was awful on camera and apparently was a shitty cook to boot. His beignets were so awful, Wolfgang Puck said “my wife would divorce me if I made these for her.” Yikes. And you thought Sandra Lee’s stuff was bad.

That brought this week’s 2-hour episode to an end! Next week, Bobby Flay’s ego remains the same size, but the episode shrinks down to one hour.

And just because it gets funnier every time I look at it:

next food network star on food network humor



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Next Food Network Star: Episode 2 Recap (6/13/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 5 Recap (7/11/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 6 Recap (7/18/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 8 Recap (8/1/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode #707 Recap (The One Where Wolfgang Puck Was A Douche)

    183 Responses

  1. Eric says:

    I was dying when they showed Doreen’s teleprompter. I had to rewind it like 5 times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Sadly, it was the highlight of the episode.

    • Lana says:

      Ack! I saw it too! Totally non-subtle on the part of the editors.
      :-D

    • Melissa says:

      I am so glad I was not the only one who saw this and just lost if lol Too friggin’ funny

    • Las says:

      Listen- Everyone who is on here and doing anything other than asking a question about the show totally has no sense of anything. WHY are you talking smack on contestants or the show? WHY are you saying how lame the show is?? YOU’RE STILL WATCHING IT. YOU wasted 2 HOURS then watching the entire show and then are wasting more time coming on here, reading posts, and then writing. SO MUCH of your time is being wasted hating on other people. ALL of these people are talented and you have NO idea what they went through to make it on the show. And they are all getting the last laugh. TRUST ME. None of you are even close to getting your own show on any network, let alone doing anything obviously considering you have the time to watch 2 hour premieres and then take the time to write about how much you dislike the contesants- get a hobby and do some volunteer work. Give back. If you have an opinion, talk about it to yourself and move on with your life because if you are spending this much time thinking about other people, you need a reality check on yourself. And don’t watch the show if you think its lame.. that makes no sense!

      • isabelle says:

        True, we are probably all a wee bit insane. However, I watch it because of its hilarity. Even though it is lame, it’s funny to see how ridiculously lame it can be.

      • Khakie says:

        Wow, calm down, life is more fun when things (such as reality shows) aren’t taken so seriously. Yes the show is harder than it looks, but that doesn’t mean we can’t point out how hypocritical some of the judges can be or how annoying/obnoxious the contestants are. After all, they are competing to be splayed all over TV’s across America. You’re right, I don’t have to watch this, but there are some elements that I do enjoy; however, that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to have an opinion about the parts I don’t like.

      • Clara says:

        Probably because this website is called ‘Food Network HUMOR’

      • airica says:

        WHY are you on a website that blatantly pokes fun of everything about food network if the idea of laughing at someone elses epic fails are so disagreeable? You’re like the person who gossips at work and then cries when the gossip is about you. Get a grip, you neurotic moron. Just bc you happen to like this show doesn’t mean that the rest of us have to share your weird devotion and sympathize with any of these people that, you know, we don’t know and don’t know us and would be as likely to laugh at us if we televised all our mistakes as we do to them. And for the record, everyone has to work hard to achieve anything in life, just bc most of the world isn’t so insecure as to need a viewing audience and camera crew to laud us for our herculean efforts. So stop with the “you don’t know how hard they worked..” who cares? You don’t know how hard anybody works. And if we choose to come home after all our hard work and giggle at Das trying WAY too hard or Dzintra doing her best impression of a valley girl with ADHD, then we have every right to do so without your completely irrelevant rant defending human beings who don’t know you exist on the face of the earth and wouldn’t so much as give you a bandaid for a bulletwound if they did. Jeezy o petes, lady! Take a xanax.

      • Terah says:

        to LAS: what did you just do? Wasted your time to read and reply, just as you are telling others they’re ridiculous for doing.. at least people are talking to each other and getting a good laugh. As if anything you said would have any effect on anyone here.. people do what they want. Your comment was a bigger waste of time than anyone elses..

  2. Justin says:

    Did anyone else feel like they (the judges and the gray team) were a little hard on Dzintra? It’s not like she went to the emergency room because of a hangnail. The set medic suggested she go to the emergency room. Paging Dr. Ben.

    It reminded me of last season where two of the guys helped Melissa d’Arabian finish her meal in one of the early episodes, and then threw her under the bus as soon as the judges criticized their dishes.

    • R-U-Kidding says:

      I agree! It wasn’t her fault some plexiglass from the FN set fell into her eye! She should sue!

    • Jenn says:

      I think they should have understood. How could she even cook with the pain and her eye tearing. Her cornea was scratched…that has to hurt.
      I think it was dumb for the judges to even have a hard time on what to do. Just the fact the medic told her she should go, was enough to keep her qualified.

    • Ray says:

      If an EMT tells me I best go to an emergency room because of an awful pain in my eye, you bet I’ll drop everything and go. Not taking any chances with my eyesight, thankyouverymuch. Risk taking a chance with my vision for a contest in which the odds are stacked against me from the start? No thanks. I’m not a fan of this particlar contestant, but they all should have been more understanding. Let’s toss a splinter in Booby’s eye and see how he reacts.

    • ADITL1979 says:

      Her going to hospital could not be helped, as they specifically told her to go. However, I think she should have come back and stayed in the kitchen to help them finish her dish…even if she couldn’t do it directly.

      And why wasn’t she wearing a bandage or eyepatch to protect her eye? That seemed a little strange.

      • Belial says:

        Thats what I was thinking, why not an eye patch.
        Hell she may have gotten a little sympathy plus a atta girl way to tough it out.
        I would of went to get my eye checked also but not coming back was her excuse to get out of making a dessert.

    • Annicka says:

      I thought so too, especially Brianna, with her “I’d have to lose an arm before I go to the emergency room” comment, and her bitchy side-eye when Dzintra got a second chance. It’s not like Dzintra was trying to sneak out of the challenge since she’s auditioned for the show three times!

    • kalena says:

      Absolutely no sympathy for the Z woman. She didn’t want to make that dessert, so as miracles will happen, she didn’t have to. Okay, she hurt her eye. Okay, it hurts. But, where was the patch? (I’m a nurse). She could’ve got it treated, worn a patch and got right back to it. And, when her teammates see the film, it was nice of her to throw them under the bus when confronted by the judging staff. Not liking her at all. Hope she goes next.

      • Jenn says:

        I dont like this contestant, but I don’t think she threw her teammates under the bus either. I think she basically said that she had to hand over her project and have someone else execute it (with the egg in another womb language). But she didn’t say one negative thing about her team mates or how they executed the dish.

      • Khakie says:

        It was Alexis who didn’t want to make dessert, Z actually seemed somewhat excited about what she was going to make. And getting a scratched cornia is much different than getting a piece of dirt in your eye. It’s like if Brianna really did get her arm deeply cut and then another contestant said “I’ve gotten paper cuts before, she should tough it out” as Brianna’s getting stitches in the ER. Remember, Z didn’t ask to go to the hospital, it was the show that insisted

    • Liz says:

      Understand the scratched cornea..but Dzintra was sooo unappreciative of the others trying to help. What a bitch..she threw them under the bus..

    • JillS says:

      I had an inflamed cornia and iris this week and it was THE most painful experience of my life. I have sympathy for the gal!

  3. Chris says:

    These were the supposed 12 best that Food Network could find? The only positive that could come from this train wreck is that, after all 12 eventually crash and burn, so will a few careers at Food Network for subjecting America to this culinary catastrophe

    • Ferd Berfle says:

      It clearly is just too hard for FN to find any person in the entire U.S. who actually knows how to cook and can impart that knowledge. Instead, they subject the viewer to dopey contrived “personalities.” Slamma jamma mamma!

  4. cloverleaf says:

    Great re-cap, Jillian. Doreen’s teleprompter pic is THE BEST thing ever in TNFNS’s history! LOL!!

  5. I noticed that teleprompter script and giggled to myself…is she gonna sat THAT?

    not sure what to think of that twoshoes reference jill.

    more to follow next week and I can’t wait.

  6. MAC says:

    This review was funnier than what I caught of the episode. The face Alexis made had me and my boyfriend giggling for about an hour.

  7. Ludwig says:

    Das is horrible. I was hoping he’d be the first to go. There’s just something about his ‘swagga’ that makes me a little ill.

  8. dippydog says:

    Most cringworthy line of the night, for me anyway, was “Yummy, yummy, yummy in my little tummy.”

  9. Cannon says:

    If instead of Wolfgang, it had been Alex Gonhor-whatever and that bloated guy that needs a shave from Chopped, I would have wished for someone to volunteer a limo for them to use (packed with ANFO).

  10. Diane says:

    Ugh…I just don’t have the energy to watch this. SO glad I can catch the ‘highlights’ here.
    I’m still chuckling over Doreen’s ‘script’. Errr…what’s the phrase that’s used here a lot? Food porn? ;)

  11. Rev. Dr. E. Buzz Miller says:

    Something tells me that woman’s tear ducts get a lot of work.

    Maybe it was just worn out.

    She also must be a fan of that 80′s comedy show SCTV. They had a character, Lola Heatherton that was played by Catherine O’Haha, that had a squealing catchphrase “I want to bear your children!!!”.

  12. hairball says:

    Das reminds me of Jag, They both are full of them selfs.No big stand out on this show. I really do not see a star in any of them, Nothing fresh . BTW Giada You got to be a star because of your boobs! had nothing at all to do with food. It is called getting by on a tit

  13. TennisAce says:

    Disappointment does not begin to describe what I went through last night watching this 2 hour travesty. I was saying to myself, are you telling me that these people are supposed chefs in their real lives and they could not cook chicken and potatoes in 45 minutes. Give me a break already. I am a housewife in Jamaica and I bet you any money that I can cook chicken on the bone and potatoes in 45 minutes. This is just ridiculous. This show started off so well so many years ago but it has now devolved into the ridiculous. As to Bobby Flay, who died and made him king of cooking. The fellow has one sauce and one style of cooking grill it to within an inch of its life and then smother it in chiles. Oh please. And Das you are not that good looking. Usually I am rooting for a minority to make it far in these competitions but the quicker they get rid of Das the better.

    • Robin says:

      This was just so painful to watch. I was actually embarassed for these people. Dzintra exclaiming “I want to have your baby”, was just ridiculous. Plus, I can’t get passed Doreene’s crooked mouth. The whole show was awful and I actually turned it off and went to sleep after not quite an hour. These people cannot be for real and if they are, their bosses should take one look at this show and fire them! At least Hell’s Kitchen is entertaining!

      • Jenn says:

        I had problems with Doreens lips being crooked. I think she can kind of keep them normal looking. Someone should have told her from the get go, that she needed to!

        @ TennisAce: You’re so right! How can they not cook thin, boneless chicken in 45 minutes? Something is wrong there!!!

      • adi says:

        hey robin and jen before you go and start commenting on doreen’s crooked smile maybe you two fools should consider that she was born that way…..so before opening your holes think about what you say……

      • BOO says:

        Looks like Doreen has a fan. And 5 hours ahead of CT!

  14. GreenJeans says:

    First off, I had a scratched cornea, painful? You bet. Stay home from work? Not a chance. You put an eye patch on and get back to business.

    I have never watched an entire episode of Giada and after sitting through this, I can honestly say thank God. I don’t think I have ever seen so much exposed teeth, ever! It looks like she is in rictus. And why have a famous director (plug your next movie) come and direct and then sit there and let Giada tell them what to do? True towards the end he remembered that was part of why he was there and put his 2 cents in.

    Is Doreen the new Debbie?

    Any Hoose…the rest was just lame and sad.

    • Daria says:

      Funny about Giada’s teeth, I found an article about her years ago in a magazine and they had a shot of her laughing or something with mouth wide open. You could actually see every one of her teeth so I counted them because it looks like she has more teeth than is normal. I think I came up with 32 which is the full amount with wisdom teeth and all I believe? Which would mean she’s never had a tooth pulled.
      Of course her family could afford excellent dental care.

      • GreenJeans says:

        You counted her teeth? LOL. I actually forgot to look see how much cleavage was being shown. But they did make up for that later.

  15. Rev Dr E Buzz Miller says:

    I wonder if Giada is there to make sure that that any competition she has, from an AMATEUR no less, is destroyed.

    She seems to be quite the little calculator…I can see it.

  16. Scoobie-Doobie-Doo says:

    Dzintra is the new Lisa Garza.

    • stoup says:

      YES! I totally agree. They have that exact same scrunched up face, and over-the-top drama. Z needs to go next.

  17. Dave says:

    The video of Das beating his chicken was the funniest thing I’ve seen all month. Stellar recap, Jillian!

  18. Lana says:

    “travesty” and “debacle” hardly do this show any justice. I mean, really, think about being one of these 12 people for a sec:

    You’ve applied to be on the show, you’ve home-video’d several demo’s, you’ve been to multiple interviews just to be narrowed down to the final 12.

    AND you don’t have a memorized, down-pat, practiced-to-death, dish that describes your culinary POV plus a 15- to 30-second promo for the show you’re trying to pitch?

    Really? REALLY?

    BAH!

    • Jenn says:

      Yeah, it’s like they go with an empty head! If it were me, I would have practiced a 15 second, 30, 60 and 5 segment and have it down pat. I would have also practiced a minimum of 10 dishes and have them down pat! These people are not serious…they go with absolutely no game plan! Are they in Kindergarten?

      • Diane says:

        But see, this is the thing that irritates me to NO end about ‘reality television’. It ALWAYS has to have drama…whether real or contrived.
        Just show people with at least an average IQ and decent culinary skills competing for a shot to have their own show on Food Network and leave all the silly machinations to the Jersey Shore, Real Wives of Whatever Hellhole, etc.

        Television executives treat us viewers like mouth breathing knuckle draggers.

    • kc95 says:

      It seems that some, like Aria, had that down. Aria’s going to win, you can tell because she’s confident, nice, makes decent food and has the Rachael Ray factor, minus the wanting to put your head through a wall every time you listen to her talk. This show was embarrasing to watch. I mean, how hard is it to find someone semi-attracitive, who can act like they can cook, and can at least fake a decent personality. The morons on that Beverly hills how do it. Don’t waste your time with FN. I dont’ know how they pick these people. Tune your channel to PBS, that’s where the cookable recipes are. Those on food network who can cook or know what the hell their talking about, ergo, Mike Symon or Alton Brown, would be wise to search for a gig in that reason.

      • Jenn says:

        You’re right Mike Symon is great as is AB, the only thing for me, is that AB is a bit boring, as is PBS. To be honest, I want great food from entertaining people!

      • Meg says:

        comment to kc95 – you talk like “the Rachael Ray factor” is a good thing! WHERE IS YOUR MIND?????

      • kc95 says:

        I mean Rachael Ray factor, by that they can sell a brand or personality, because, lets face it, Rachael Ray is a nationol brand. If you asked the average American, I bet they’d know who Rachael Ray is before they’d know who Thomas Keller is, despite the fact that Keller is heralded as “the most reconized celebrity chef”.

  19. BorgQueen says:

    “‘I’m living proof that Food Network can make you a star,’ Giada bragged to the finalists as they walked into their new kitchen”

    Really Giada? So it had nothing to do with the fact that your grandfather is one of the most successful movie producers in the history of film…

    • R-U-Kidding says:

      Agree also.

      • Jenn says:

        Coupled with the fact that she is quite attractive. Because if she was a really ugly woman, the Delaurentiis name wouldn’t have helped too much.

    • boke1 says:

      DeLaurentiis isn’t even her real last name. It’s her mother’s maiden name but I guess when her mother divorced Giada’s father, whose name is DeBenedetto or something, she gave the kids her maiden name. I’m sure her little motivational speech was scripted for her but I can’t believe she didn’t flat out refuse to call herself a star. Puke-worthy.

      • Jenn says:

        I think there is some kind of agreement with the husbands that marry into the Delaurentiis family, because from what I can tell all of the women keep their name, and their children get the Delaurentiis name as their last name as well. They can have the father’s last name, but it’s kind of like a token for the father only.

    • Brenda says:

      oh Really Giada? Is that a fact? Then why don’t you use your married name, hmmmmm? dumshart.

      Her mouth is waaaayyyy too big for her face and she just proved it with that inane comment.

      • grumpypiper says:

        And what is up with her fat, flabby, stubby arms? It’s so funny how people keep saying she’s so thin, blah blah blah and question whether she actually eats her food (not to mention she seems to think she’s perfect in every way imaginable). Uh, really? Being short and having a small frame does not automatically equal tiny. Next time, take a look at her upper arms. Holy cow, they look like sausages filled to the brim in their casings! It’s so funny she keeps wearing these tiny shirts/dresses that not only expose her cleavage but unfortunately also expose her sausagey upper arms! ROTFLMAO

  20. R-U-Kidding says:

    It was lame and sad all right. Still can’t wait for next week though LOL.

    Seems like the judges were expecting a bit too much for week number one IMHO. It’s gotta be tough facing that camera AND judges right off the bat — in the past I thought they didn’t have to do that until week #3 or so?

    • Susan says:

      Agreed… Giada is not on FN because she is talented…

    • Lana says:

      WADR R-U-Kidding, totally disagree. (see my earlier comment) I can not stress enough HOW MUCH these people had to go through before being selected as one of the 12 finalists.

      They’re freaking applying to be the television host of a cooking show. AND they know they’ll be on The Most Watched program the FN has. Anxiety over cameras and judges should be long, long, longlonglong gone by now.

      I mean, say for the sake of argument, you’re scheduled to give a 15-minute talk at a university. Wouldn’t you have practiced that speech in front of a mirror, in front of your friends, family, pets and plants AND video taped it about a gazillion times before you walk in that university door?

      • Ferd Berfle says:

        All the more reason to say there’s nothing real about “reality” TV. Lana’s right – these people should at least achieve coherence in front of the cameras by now. This whole thing is so contrived.

      • Khakie says:

        I wonder how many prepared people were turned away at the audition. There is absolutly no excuse to not have something prepared– especially since this is the SIXTH season. It’s not like it’s a surprise that they will have to cook something and perform in front of a camera.

  21. BartenderJay says:

    The only reason I’m glad this show is back is for the recaps. Stellar Jill. Calling it now, Aria wins.

  22. Patrick says:

    I am excited for this season only for the fact that there is an Italian contestant with boobs just as big as Giadas…and she has an Italian accent sufficiently one-upping Giada and her over-eneunciation.

    There is bound to be a cat fight this season between those two, or at the very least, Giada will systematically destroy that poor girl’s life as punishment for ever daring to step off that plane from Italy and audition for some crazy food show.

    • Rev Dr E Buzz Miller says:

      Giada will try to destroy her. LOL. I believe that she is a major league beeyotch.

      I bet she went to that grocery store and bought up all the veal!

    • GreenJeans says:

      Did you see Giada’s face when Wolfgang asked her was there room for 2 Italian Princesses. She played it off, but the gleam was there.

    • Kristen says:

      No way Giada’s gonna let that woman through…she’ll throw her under the bus first chance she gets!

      • Jenn says:

        Yeah, I don’t think she’ll win. Also, she’s younger than Giada, and sweet. And did they say she was an attorney? But, in the event that she did win, I’m sure it would be made very clear to her that she’s just a peon compared to Giada.

    • Rebecca says:

      I think that Serena would be minor league, like the chick from Simply Delicioso. IF she won and got a show, it would be strictly super late at night, or during cartoon hours on Saturday morning.

  23. TennisAce says:

    Totally Off Topic, but this weekend I ended up on the Fine channel (I think it was Fine) but noticed that the Cooking Channel was there. Not sure if it was a promo or what. Anyway, it is still there but there was this fellow called Rocco who is supposedly Italian cooking. Talk about boring. And even worst than that is the fact that almost every cancelled show from FN is now on Cooking Channel. Was I ever shocked to see Good Deal with Dave Lieberman.Checked to see whether it was a new episode and saw that it was just the same old, same old. I wonder what happened to him.

    • Lana says:

      Tennis, the Fine channel has been re-programmed as the Cooking Channel. There is no more Fine Living Network. :)
      As for its programming, yup, a few new programs but A LOT of oldie re-runs.

      • TennisAce says:

        Thanks for that Lana. I am actually in Jamaica with cable so I was not sure. I actually liked FLN. Pity it had to go to make way for this channel which by the looks of it will just have reruns of FN reject shows. Pity.

      • Boston_Dan says:

        Agreed. The “new” Cooking Channel is absolutely lame. Ther are a handful of new shows but the overwhelmng majority of the programming is repeats of cancelled shows or imports from Canada. Case in point: David Rocco’s Dolce Vita, perhaps the worst food show ever made. The one episode I saw was from 2004 and they’re promoting it like it’s the second coming of Julia Child. Last year was FN’s most profitable ever and they accomplished that by getting lots of ads aired during mostly old, repeat programming. So I guess they thought they should expand the franchise and do more of the same. Unfortunately for them, I think that most people are going to see this “new” channel for what it is; rehashed crap.

      • Daria says:

        Right now it is kind of cool to be able to see some of the British shows that were never aired here. And I’ve never been able to watch Julia Child or Galloping Gourmet before and although the shows are so old and dated, it is kind of neat to be able to compare them to the shows on FN today. But I agree, if they don’t produce any NEW content sometime soon, I’m going to get uninterested quickly because they keep showing the same episodes over and over.

  24. Andrew says:

    @Lana & Jenn — I agree, although I think the explanation for the lack of preparation is Food Network itself.

    Anyone who is a serious home cook (let alone a self-described ‘chef’, as most of these people claim to be) doesn’t work off of ‘recipies,’ he/she works off of techniques. You know how to pan-fry a steak (and shockingly, that works for lamb and duck); you know how to roast vegetables, you know how to brine, how to sear, how to cook fatty fish versus firm-fleshed fish, you know skin-on versus skin-off, etc., etc.

    With the exception of Anne Burrell and Alton Brown, Food Network doesn’t teach you techniques anymore; it teaches you increasingly erratic and strange recipies — often with incredibly poor techniques. So I’m not surprised that the people who think that FN is the epitome of cooking would show up with the same mindset — ready to talk about ingredients and flavor combinations (proscuitto cream!) and cooking techniques they think are trendy (confit potatoes! roulades!) — but without the basic skills to pull it off.

    If I were given 45 minutes and chicken and potatoes, I would have done something incredibly simple. First 15 minutes is prep. Coat some fingerling potatoes (or dice russets; it doesn’t have to be anything fancy) with olive oil and salt. Peel down some carrots and make them pretty. Find whatever other veg in your kitchen looks fresh. Slice a couple of onions on the mandolin. Cut yourself a quarter chicken (the leg and thigh piece), bone on, and brine in some super-salty water for 15 minutes.

    While the chicken is quick-brining, toss your potatoes and veg into a 475F oven, and dump the sliced onions into a medium saucepan with a chunk of butter to melt.

    After 15 minutes, pat the chicken dry, season liberally with fresh cracked pepper and rosemary, and stick it on top of the potatoes so that the yummy chicken fat drips onto the potatoes. The chicken will probably need about 10 minutes, but start checking after 7.

    After the onions cook down and turn a lovely shade of brown, add a big handful of salt, a half cup of water (homemade chicken stock would be best, but I’m assuming that’s out of the question), and puree it with an immersion blender. Strain the whole thing through a chinois or fine-meshed strainer and add a little pat of butter to finish it; you’ll have a gorgeous onion gravy.

    Plate the potatoes. Stick the chicken on top. Draw a pretty swirl of gravy around it and then drizzle a little bit on top of the chicken. Roasting at 475F means the chicken skin will be crispy, and the dark meat and quick brine will make it juicy all the way through. It’ll be delicious, and it’s *actually* “super super simple.”

    Also: anyone who voluntarily chooses boneless, skinless chicken breasts over bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs should be beaten about the head repeatedly with Rachel Ray’s heaviest cookbook until unconscious.

    • Kelley says:

      That DOES sound good, Andrew, thanks for sharing!

      As for the show, I was wondering the same thing myself: they’re chefs that can’t cook chicken and potatoes in 45mins? Really? :/

      Great recap as always, Jill!

    • kc95 says:

      I HATE when people take the skin off chicken. It’s the best part! The meat is always sweetest nearer to the bone. And I agree. My thirteen year old cousin has cooked amazing chicken and taters for me and his family. Granted, he wants to follow in my footsteps and be a chef. But I still find it sad that a teenager can cook a bird better than food networks new crop of “talent”.

    • Y’all might want to check out that tab on the top of the page that says “FORUMS”. LOL!!! Some funny peeps over there who have seen a kitchen or two.

    • kytten says:

      i strongly dislike dark meat, or bone in. So, i guess, commence with the beating?
      xD

      • Andrew says:

        Yup :)

        Seriously, though: if you dislike dark meat, I suggest that what you’re really saying is that you don’t like chicken. That’s okay, of course! Taste is subjective.

        My point is that boneless, skinless chicken breasts are essentially chicken with all its “chicken-ness” removed. If you’re a chef, and you’re told to showcase chicken and potatoes as part of a challenge, then why on earth would you choose the medium that minimizes what you’re supposed to be celebrating??

      • kc95 says:

        Andrew, I agree. I’ve never met a chef, EVER, that thought chicken was better with the skin off. In fact, one night, at a resturant I was working in, we had roast chicken for family meal. The wait staff picked the skin off, while the chefs ate the dark meat. The dishwasher even cracked the bones open and sucked out the marrow.

    • Jenn says:

      You’re very right about knowing techniques that will transfer to all types of food. These people should know these things!!

    • Jenna says:

      I did this almost verbatim for my final during my first quarter of culinary school, and I got an A on it.

      The only reason I even HAVE FN anymore is to watch AB and this god-awful clusterfuck, mostly because it’s hilarious.

      I admit to watching some shows on FN and dying a little inside every time someone wears rings while handling raw meat or wearing their hair down *coughRachaelRaycough* in the kitchen at all. The sad thing is that there are so many girls who go to school with me all vying to be her, when they’re getting a good classical education that they could use to be so much better.

  25. minx says:

    I agree that this is a sorry bunch, but I will enjoy watching for sheer schadenfreude. The men are all sort of mopey. The women are at least more entertaining and distinctive–whether they can really cook or perform on camera remains to be seem. I predict Das won’t last three episodes despite his fond regard for himself. Doreen will also be another early casualty.

  26. Karmasabitch says:

    The UM, OKAY? picture made me laugh out loud. Awesome.

  27. Andra says:

    There is no reason in this planet or the one next door that that horror show needed be stretched to two bloody hours. Thank goodness for my DVR. Doreen’s teleprompter was hilarious as is the screenshot of Alexis. I can’t stop looking at it. Heeee!

  28. ADITL1979 says:

    Ah, Jillian, think I disagree with your spelling of Anyhoes…shouldn’t it be Anywhos? ;)

    I cannot fucking believe they got these people. How does the Food Network give this show any credibility when these lowlifes are so TERRIBLE on camera. To this point, they would have needed to audition, to perform demos on camera for producers, etc….and yet they suddenly turn THIS bad on day one. Please. I thought I was watching Worst Cooks in America, Season 2.

    Rant over. I’m kinda digging Aarti…I could see her as a female Alton Brown. Aria seems a heavy favorite, but then so did Jeffrey last season, so I expect the winner to emerge from the field.

    • Silvio says:

      Just a reason to produce another Aaron McCargo and Melissa Baconator who right now, are two of the worst TV hosts in FN history. Did you think it would get better ? It is the Food Network. THE EPITOME OF AMATEURISM.

  29. Kathy says:

    Somehow I think this season will be entertaining. More than usual.

    Here’s my recap: http://www.minxeats.com/2010/06/next-food-network-star-6-episode-1.html

  30. Rev Dr E Buzz Miller says:

    Anyone notice that Bob is a side-talker, and one of the contestants is a side talker.

    Maybe Bob likes side-talkers.

  31. Boston_Dan says:

    Dzintra strikes me as the bastard spawn of Judy Jetson and Joanne Worley. I don’t blame her for attending to her eye, but i do slam her for being completely ungracious toward those who picked up her slack. What a bee-yatch. DAS (aka Pimp Daddy) is just to cool for his own bad self. Hated him. Bearded, afro white guy was just a turn off. I wouldn’t eat anything he cooked as he looks like an unmade bed who hasn’t showered in a month. Doreen and Brianna, both lame and weak to the 10th power. And I’m so glad Alexis got sent back to Indiana. He was a disaster. The best part is that I don’t have to spend the rest of the season watching him make faces like that above and mincing and lisping his way through each episode. AND I’M GAY! Don’t get me wrong, in general I’m glad that gays and lesbians are a growing presence on TV. But why must producers endlessly reinforce stereotypes by using a Jack from Will & Grace type EVERY SINGLE TIME. It makes me want to hurl my pearls!!!!!!!!!!

    • jtdavies says:

      But would we know someone is gay if they were more like Will? And would Food Network get diversity points if we didn’t know?

      I wouldn’t know that Ted Allen was gay. except my niece watched him on Queer Eye and told me. It doesn’t matter to me either way, but I relate better to a Will like Ted Allen than a Jack like the Private Chefs.

      Really, should anyone be allowed to say “yumsters” then kiss their fingers? I’d like to see the FCC get involved in stopping that.

  32. robb says:

    I’m really glad for these recaps, because holy crap does this show look detestable.

    I watched the first season, and despite Gertler being awesome, it was a miserable experience. And the show seems to have managed to go downhill from there.

  33. mary says:

    My two favorite moments:
    Giada had the nerve to tell one contestant that they looked “like a puppet” on their promo. Hello, this from Miss Bobblehead herself!!??

    And Tooshie stated that he was more interested in “star quality” (puke) than in the fact they they may be able to cook. That pretty much said it all: they are looking for a brand (per Suzie Foofoo) to market.

    In other words, the FN sees their viewers in the same way that P.T. Barnum saw his clientele: there is a sucker born every minute. Is it any wonder that the FN programming sucks? They aren’t producing cooking shows, they are producing stuff, low quality cheap stuff, to market to a dumbed down, lowest common denominator “fan” based audience.

    What’s next?
    A FN cruise show captained by Michael Groover with food and sexertainment by the Neelys?
    A show featuring dingy bars with crappy music hosted by Ray Ray, her hubby, and his band?
    Housewife in Paris, a show following around a two week tour of french cafes where participants try to steal secret ingredients, practice freezing bacon, and whose $5000 price tag is designed for penny pinching stay-at-home moms like Mommy Dearest?
    A new game show, The Greased Pig Contest, where, in a muddy ring, contestants try to catch a naked greasy Guy Fieri?
    A vodka tour with Aunt Sandy? Ooh, and a Tablescape Certification course!

    See, the possibilities are endless. FN will be around for a long, long time.

    Meanwhile, we have 9 more weeks of quality entertainment on The Next Food Network Star to look forward to. Pass the popcorn, please.

    • Aubie says:

      I agree Mary. After the May season finales there isn’t much new programming on TV to watch. So I’ll endure this on Sunday evenings…mainly so then I can laugh at this forum.

  34. BCA says:

    I missed this episode, and apparently not much.

  35. Miki says:

    Ok, I can’t stand Brianna, she just rubs me the wrong way. I’m sure she is just fine in person, but if she had a show I would sooner shoot my television then watch her.

    So glad Alexis (WTF!) went home, totally not the right person for the job, shame on them for even picking him.

  36. lizzielove says:

    Giada always reminds me of the characters from Chicken Run.

  37. dippydog says:

    Can I just ask a question here? Dzintra’s eye was injured, right? She was supposed to be resting it, right? So how is standing around the kitchen telling everyone else how to prepare her dish resting that eye? Is it really less eye strain to tell somebody to do something rather than doing it yourself? Couldn’t she have just slipped on a eyepatch and went back to work?

    • ADITL1979 says:

      Good point. I’ve been back and forth on this. To me, she reminded me of an employee that gets a boil lanced and gets a doctor’s note stating he will not be able to go to work….at a desk job.

      The problem was, I’m sure she’s only in the competition to avoid a potential lawsuit if they had actually gotten rid of her (“But I was only following doctor’s orders!!!!”), and considering her begging and pleading, she would have went after it, I’m sure.

  38. TennisAce says:

    To show you how bad the hosts of other Food Network shows have been, as a matter of principle I refuse to watch Melissa and that dumb ass Aaron McGruder. I hate when black people think it is ok to dumb themselves down to what they think people want to see. Speak English for goodness sake.

    • ADITL1979 says:

      Case in point: Brianna. She comes off as sophisticated, mannered…maybe a little prissy and a little bitchy, but oh well. For her promo, she becomes a stereotypical party girl. I was SO hoping they would call her out for that, and they did. They also seem to be calling out Daz for a bit of his own self-stereotyping. So, bravo judging committee for once…just wish you had done it for Aaron McCargo, Jr.

  39. Ray says:

    Once again, that unholy “Giada Grimace o’ Death” scares me. For some reason when I saw it the novelty song, “The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati” came to mind.

  40. minx says:

    When I see Giada I think of those Target commercials where her husband is kissing her but he is also looking off to one side. Creepy guy.

  41. Kristen says:

    I actually liked Aarti, but she should never, ever use the word “party” again in reference to food. It sounded like “Otty’s Potty”.

    • Cordelia says:

      Yes, I was thinking that also! I think she has a nice, bright spirit, but she just comes off as too cheery sometimes. I can already tell Aria is going to be the favored one who gets a free ride through some episodes…too bad she isn’t Korean.

  42. mandi says:

    You DEFIANTLY captured the humor of this 1st episode! There was some pretty goofy stuff, but that picture of Giada’s teeth..I mean face.. is priceless. and the teleprompter, I didnt even catch that! Glad you posted it haha!!

    • Ray says:

      I caught the teleprompter when the show aired, but I figured I HAD to be seeing things. It couldn’t have possibly said what I thought it said.. could it? Hmm.. guess so!

  43. jamie.thomas says:

    You know I deliberately missed the show and watched a movie instead. Then of course I was up late enough I ended up watching the last hour of it. I’d read a lot of the comments and knew it was going to be bad but I was appaled at how PAINFULLY BAD

  44. Annicka says:

    I actually like Aarti. And Herb. I love Indian food and healthy food, so I’m biased toward them both, plus I think Aarti is too cute. I cannot stand DAS or Brianna. I have zero patience or tolerance for anyone who describes themselves as ‘easy on the eyes’, or a ‘diva’. And I thought the way Brianna was acting when Dzintra was given a second chance was childish. I also do not like Paul. He reminds me of Guy Fieri, particularly when he goes ANYWHOS.

    Serena’s presence seems pointless to me because Food Network already has an ITALIAN woman who cooks ITALIAN food and is constantly reminding people she is from ITALY where they speak ITALIAN and cook ITALIAN food with ITALIAN ingredients. What on Earth would they do with her?

  45. anjarew says:

    Whenever I watch this show, I’m appalled at the fact that these are the best candidates that they can muster together. It’s almost like they randomly picked these people from a whole foods and asked them if they wanted to “play a game.”

    They have zero personality. This is another Melissa D’Arabian in the making.

  46. BOO says:

    Did anyone see a commercial for the TNFNS ‘CD’ they are selling? I caught one during ‘The Best Thing I Ever Ate’ episode. But none during the actual show.

  47. Harry Dingleburger says:

    Personally, I liked the fat Seth Rogan clone who did the skipper shtick. I would watch that over Big Daddy’s House anyday.

  48. Harry Dingleburger says:

    Loved how Giada made it sound like she worked her way up the TV pecking order by her bootstraps and dint of sheer brow-sweating effort. As if being related to the vast De Laurentiis oligarchy empire didn’t open any doors whatsover. Riiiiight. Bobby Flay was also born with a silver spoon. Robert Irvine represents the working man and had a real hardscrabble Eastenders upbringing (why else the need to fake his resume?). That guy is the shit.

    • Meg says:

      You’re right! Irvine is just a screamer and his show has no point at all. Who the hell cares if he gets it done in time? The whole show teaches NOTHING. And it’s a real snooze.

      • Jenn says:

        I think Harry means that Robert Irvine rocks! right? I like his personality and way of getting people to do their work…I can take some screaming as long as it’s not derogatory in any way. But what I can’t take is a liar. I just cannot trust someone that lies even one bit.

    • Brenda says:

      I agree. I knew the moment Robert was suspended for his padded resume that he’d be back. The man, basically, just has talent. He is da shit, da bomb, and ooohhhh, those guns he’s sportin’ “don’t hoit eidah!”

  49. Scruffy says:

    What a giant bowl of “meh” the show was.

    Random scattershooting:

    –Top. Chef. Ripoff. The set, the music, the colors, the editing, everything about it screamed Top Chef. Even had Bobby in chefs whites touring through the kitchen ala Tom. Giada has better boobs than Gail, but I’d much rather motorboat Gail than Bobblehead.

    –What the fuck is Aarti supposed to be? She’s Indian, she claims. She dresses Indian. She grew up in Dubai and ended up with a more-or-less British accent. Okay… Then her stupid-ass flower gimmick is already old, and she sure looked like she wanted to be Hawaiian in her promo. No matter what she is, she sucks.

    –What the fuck is Serena supposed to be? I look more Italian than her. Is she sure her grandparents didn’t get the wrong paperwork at Ellis Island and she’s really Cuban or Colombian or something? She should sell that, because she’s got no chance with Man-Hands (Giada) lording over the proceedings.

    –Plus-size-Rachel-Ray annoys the crap out of me. I’d rather watch Paula’s Crack Party episode where she makes espresso. And why are they kissing her ass? She wasn’t that good, she isn’t anything the network doesn’t already have, and she’s not attractive. This dude won’t watch her. And I may boycott companies who advertise during TNFNS if I have to see her stupid girl-son again. Which I know I will have to. And I will want to gouge my eyes out.

    –Brianna, I’d watch for the tits, not the food.

    –Dziki or Dzgiorno or Dzjubuti or whatever her name is? She better throw some cleavage in there. But she brings nothing to the table that the ungodly combo of Sandy and Melissa don’t.

    –Tom, for the love of Jeebus, pretend you can be halfway normal. That schtick got old with Guy real fast.

    –Doreen better cook topless. Otherwise stands no chance, even then she’s a longshot.

    –Why do they force them to pick a concept? We all know they’re looking for something specific from the start, and we all know they’ll jettison whatever their concept is for what they pick at the very end.

    –Das stands a chance if he finds a clue. Probably won’t.

    –It will come down to Herb and Brad the Tony Romo lookalike, since I’m convinced this season’s niche to fill is finding a straight, normal guy to host a show.

    Sorry about the length. Rant over.

  50. minx says:

    Tom looks like he needs to be powerwashed. Call me fussy, but if someone is handling my food, I like them to look like he/she has a passing relationship with soap.

    • Daria says:

      Yes. For someone who is trying to land himself a food network show you would think he clean up his appearance. And the first words out of his mouth are about how he is unemployed.

      • Las says:

        He’s unemployed because he just moved out to California after owning his own resteraunt. he’s worked for numerous five star places. He is TOTALLY the man! Such a good personality

  51. Rev. Dr. E. Buzz Miller says:

    I wish that director guy would have gotten pissed at Giada, the brilliant woman, and slammed her. He seemed like he needed some Sanka.

    • cloverleaf says:

      Didn’t the director remind you of Seinfeld’s neighbor, Newman? LOL

      • Rev. Dr. E. Buzz Miller says:

        Didn’t you notice that he talked LIKE THIS!

        Like he needed to TALK LOUDLY AT the end of SENTENCES!

        Know what I MEAN!!!

        I will shoot you in the genitals with a taser if you GET THIS WRONG, OKAYY!!!!

      • cloverleaf says:

        Strange speech pattern, for sure. LOL!!!

    • Jenn says:

      The director is probably kissing her grandfather’s butt all the time. So he’s not going to get pissed at his precious grandaughter. And believe me, Giada is really protected and loved in that family! So no one better mess with her.

  52. boke1 says:

    The contestants are pretty blah. Flay is a douch and he knows it and Giada is just there to promote good dental hygiene and push up bras. Yada yada. The one who really bugs me is Susie Fogelsbush or whatever her name is. She is really making me hate the word “dish.” I hate the way she says it. I’m glad they did a little something with her hair this season, though. She doesn’t looks as much like a drug-addled 60s throwback.

  53. Deen says:

    Well….life & work has caused me to take a hiatus from this site, but it stopped the moment I watched last night’s episode. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to log on this morning. It’s no surprise all the comments were dead-on. Heaven help us and I can’t decide who the bigger DB is: Das or Mr. Push-ups?

  54. Californiagirl says:

    This episode got so boring, my daughter and I got out our laptops and just kept it on in the backround. I can see a couple of people I will probably start hating and nobody I like. Everyone seemed weak on camera and in the kitchen. Yawn.

  55. Bluey says:

    DAS looks like DMX in his promo; not a good fit for the network at all and that Anyhoos guy is a Guy Fieri copycat. They were both embarrassing. Brianna reminds me of Posh Spice (Eddie Murphy’s baby momma). She should be the next to go. I think this year’s competitors are the worst I’ve seen in all my years of watching. It’s boring with Flay hosting as well. I rather watch episodes of “Chopped” than to endure this crap.

    • Cindy says:

      You must mean Scary Spice also known as Mel B. I agree she looks just like her. (Posh is Victoria Beckham)

      • Bluey says:

        Yeah Cindy, what you said lol. I questioned myself when I wrote it but thought what the heck someone will bring it to my attention if I was wrong. Thanks Cindy.

  56. DippyDog says:

    Something else that I meant to post about earlier. Bobby Flay called Jacque Torres the first celebrity chef. Maybe you guys can can prove me wrong here, but what about Julia Child for example? She’s certainly a celebrity chef to me. But then again, so was Antoine Careme to me, so maybe my idea of celebrity if different than most.

    • DippyDog says:

      Whoops, meant Wolfgang Puck. Duh.

    • Deen says:

      I said the same thing.

      • Jenn says:

        I think Julia got a lot of fame after her career on TV ended. I believe the first real rage for a chef was wolfgang puck. Yeah, Julia had respect, but people were not clamoring over her like Wolfgang and his restaurants. And Celebrities weren’t dying to rave about the fact that they ate Julia’s food, but they have been for doing so for Wolfgang for decades now.

    • Jenna says:

      I was going to say Escoffier or Careme, maybe even Point.

    • Annicka says:

      I thought that too. WTF, Flay? Kiss his ass a little harder, why don’t you.

  57. Doogster says:

    I wonder if any of them are reading this blog for tips.

  58. I have this on my dvr and haven’t watched yet… now I’m really looking forward to it!! (And fwiw: when I had a scratched cornea, I didn’t have an eye patch. And it was EXTREMELY painful, but I could still cook!)

  59. Jerry says:

    In my opinion the talent acquisition people at FN went out and found Aria as the next star, and then the producers went out and found 11 people with no chance to beat her.

    TV is an illusion… a bending of the truth… it’s entertainment. The winner was chosen before the show aired without breaking any rules… very clever. This is why FN is filthy rich.

    • minx says:

      I wouldn’t be surprised. This is the most lackluster group of “finalists” I can remember in the show’s history. They either can’t cook or they are complete duds in front of the camera.

    • Structive says:

      Even without seeing the episode, I can tell that’s what’s going on. Based on everyone’s comments, it doesn’t seem like the other contestants are even remotely qualified to be a cook on television. Plus I was looking at the bios for the contestants, and Aria seems pretty cool, and based on her fave restaurant (Gramercy Tavern), she at least has decent taste in food (no pun intended).

    • Scruffy says:

      What makes Aria a front runner, other than sharing a name with a brand new resort/casino in Vegas?

      She’s nothing special and I don’t see what niche she would fill.

  60. stoup says:

    Worst.Season.Ever.
    Best line of the night was when Doreen was presenting her dish and had to extend her time to fill the 30 seconds…”I like butter.” WTH??? Where in the world did that come from?

    I agree about Aria. She’s been hand-picked to win.
    Herb wins as biggest DB this season. Cannot STAND him and his inflated ego! Gag.

    Zinthra – gone.
    Doreen – gone.
    Tom – gone.
    Das – gone.
    Brianna – gone.
    Herb – needs to be gone already!

    FN has definitely gone over to central casting to pick this bunch of cartoon characters this season.
    Susie Fogelson is just strange. That’s all I’m going to say.

    Aria and Ahti’s Pahty in the final…my prediction.

  61. Cindy says:

    Das was ridiculous the way he was flailing his arms around as he talked.
    The one who did the pushups said as he started something like I’ll do anything to please you
    Aarti speaks well to the camera probably because she has an online video blog of some kind. So that is probably a good way to prepare for this show. Be the kind of trained seal that FN likes.
    Doreen= blah, I like butter is her point of view!
    Dzintra comes across as desperate telling us how many times she has tried out gor the show. Those contestants who tried out many times, here and other reality shows, never go far. The first girl to get kicked off project runway most recent season comes to mind.

    • Cindy says:

      The chicken and potato dishes were all very similar to each other. Most went for pan roasted blah blah with potato and blah blah. I totally get why they picked these ingredients. You obviously can’t serve undercooked chicken, and it becomes overcooked and dry so easily. Unless, they leave the skin on, which someone else also commented on. Chicken roasted with the skin on is delicious. Cooked skinless= rubbery, pale, dry. And we have seen a few potato gratins done on these shows and they take a long time to cook, and are prone to being underdone.

      • Boston_Dan says:

        And remember the point of the challenge (stupid as it was) was to represent themselves on a plate. Did they actually expect everyone to be able to represent themselves on a plate with chicken and potatoes? I’m Irish so I prolly would’ve been able to pull something off. But what would poor Debbie Lee have done? Something Pan-Asian and garlicky is my guess.

  62. Kathy says:

    I didn’t think it was lame or the contestants unlikeable. I thought they were are incredibly anxious. Remember, they want to be stars, but in the first episode, they were not there yet. They did have some talent to even thing outside the box with their meal options.
    I am a great cook, but in the first 45 minute challenge, I would have offered fried chicken and potatoes with a neo-soul twist, but never would I have had the balls to try gnocchi.

  63. Sad Saad says:

    Whether or not the season is crappy, this is like my favorite show on the network. EVER. I actually look forward to this in comparison to the other programming on the network. But I have noticed the show getting more dramatic as each season airs, with all of the tensions, verbal exchanges, injuries, accidents, and etc. This is going to be interesting for sure. Oh, and Herb is next to go, followed by Doreen.

  64. Scott says:

    I feel happy that Alexis is gone…I feel like he was just gonna be like Michael from last season, where he was so gay he sneezed glitter.

  65. Ina Garten DaVida says:

    No funny gay guys??

    Ina no like. Ina no watch.

  66. Belial says:

    My wife and I had a discussion last year that food network is bending to political correctness. It is quite obvious. It started with the Neely’s
    They are so awful and corny it not even funny there were really no black chefs on the network so they had to fill their quota with McCargo.

    This network is a shell of itself.

    • Ina Garten DaVida says:

      Well, they have Sunny Anderson too, who isn’t nearly as awful as the Neely’s y’all and Big Ebonics Daddy. No stereotyping there…

      If FN really was worried about being PC, I’d be willing to bet they could find competent cooks with some personality in any demographic they choose.

  67. Steve says:

    I want them to get Gordon Ramsay to guest star on the show, that way we can get an entertaining episode of him yelling at the chefs for the whole hour.

    • SaraCVT says:

      There we go. THAT I’d watch. I like Gordon–he may yell a lot but he’s actually really smart and you can’t deny the man can cook. He’s got umpteen successful restaurants to prove it.

  68. Khakie says:

    I lost count how many times i rolled my eyes during this episode. I’ve seen more personality come out of a chef on chopped then most of these food network wannabees combined. I think some of them should head on over to this site and read about their so called idols and see what they are really like! I do love wolfgang.

  69. betty boop says:

    I can’t believe Giada is a mentor, She can’t afford to comment on other peoples personalities when she is soooo fake with over pronouncing italian ingredients as well as saying some of them wrong as well and having her boobs sticking out over her shirts and having about 1000 teeth with a fake smile. I think she has a terrible tv persona-her recipes are usually pretty good.

  70. MJ says:

    I am new to this site, and I think it’s hilarious. Y’all are all hysterically funny and I love it. (I’m from the South and y’all is in my vocabulary, no I do not sound like Paula Deeeeeeeeeeeeen, y’aaaaaaaaaaalll.)

    I couldn’t watch 15 minutes of this episode. I will read your comments, and wait to watch the last 2 weeks to see “who wins”. Bobby Flay is a pompous ass and I wish I had Giada’s chompers, I just wouldn’t show so many of them.

  71. Just Me says:

    Did you really have to mention Korean lady again? Between the cars and Starcraft we get enough racist jokes.

  72. karen says:

    Didn’t anyone else notice that Giada was SCARY THIN!!! I couldn’t get past that to even watch the rest of the show!!!!!!!!

  73. Bergeri says:

    The funniest part was after Dzintra did her promo she hugged the people and said “I want to have your babies” funnniest Dzintra quote

Post your comments


LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved