Letters To FNH, Sandra Lee »
Sandra Lee’s Invading Local Supermarkets [Save Yourselves]
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Heads up, America: Sandra Lee is apparently now doing “cocktail demonstrations” at local supermarkets! The horror!
I haven’t been to one, but I’m pretty sure the “cocktail demonstration” is probably just her pounding cocktails, and demonstrating how drunk she gets. What is the world coming to?
Thanks to FNH reader Katy, who sent us this hilarious e-mail and these photos as proof:
Jillian,
It was with great alarm that I rounded the aisle of my friendly neighborhood grocery store to find myself face-to-face with Aunty Sandy’s glazed, most likely drunken, gaze. There was her frozen smile emblazoned on the side of giant booze display, cheekily raising a cocktail.
I actually laughed out loud, but my laughter turned to fear when I saw the large sign above the display announcing that “Celebrity Chef Sandra Lee” is going to be IN THE STORE this Saturday!! Not only signing magazines (what magazines?!) but doing a COCKTAIL DEMONSTRATION.
That’s right, Jillian, Sandra Lee is going to be boozing it up in the middle of the day, in the middle of my grocery store. (Not that boozing it up in the middle of the day is anything new for her but for god’s sake, this is a family-friendly store!! She shouldn’t be allowed within 100 feet of the place!!)
I attached some photographic evidence for you, but also need your advise: should I go?? On the plus side, getting to see Aunty Sandy drunk in person would be a once-in-a-lifetime laugh riot. On the other hand, what if I am mistaken for one of her – gulp – fans?? Could I ever live down the shame?? Not to mention what would happen if someone forgets to stock her with Cool Whip, or her earrings don’t match the tablescape…I do not want to see that woman angry. EVER.
What do you think, FNH? Should Katy go to the Sandra Lee “cocktail demonstration?” I VOTE YES!
UPDATE: For anyone going to the Sandra Lee event, it’s at NORTH Ashland… not SOUTH Ashland! Poor Katy found out the hard way. The good news is, she’s on her way there! For the love of all that’s good and holy, Katy, BE CAREFUL.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Sandra Lee Is Everywhere, No One Is Safe---Sandra Lee’s Renaissance Halloween Costumes
---Sandra Lee Tells Anthony Bourdain To “Have Cocktail And Lighten Up”
---Sandra Lee To Assist Hurricane Irene Evacuees
---Sandra Lee’s Fans Have Less Brain Cells Than She Does [FNH Facebook War!]
- Letters To FNH
- Sandra Lee
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136 Responses
Please go, Katy, even if you have to go in disguise! Then you can report back to us just how horrendous it was!
Yes, please go, that way we can know for sure if she gets plastered at these events, or if she’s a professional.
Is that really a question?
The only reservation I have is, that’s my birthday. Does she really have to start this kind of horror on my frickin’ BIRTHDAY???
Either wear a groucho marx glasses & moustache combo or blow up a photo of Tony Bourdain to make a mask. Hee hee! Be sure to take pics!
Seriously, go, Katy! Heck, if I had the chance to see her demo-ing booze in person, I would wait in a llllllllllllong llllllllllllline! :)
Katy! How can you consider turning down this opportunity to meet Aunt Sandy?! I understand the fear of being seen and the repercussions of what that might do to your life (we all do!), but to have an insider, from FNH, at this signing would be worth all the humiliation in the world! If it gets too bad, down a shot!
Oh man, bring the camera!
Hell yes you should go! But don’t forget to bring a barf bag.
Katy, please go (I like Gypsy’s disguise idea). Looking forward to your report!
Wait…why does the sign with Sandra’s face on it bill her as a “celebrity CHEF”?? She’s not a true chef, is she?
she went to culinary school! I forgot which one, but I’m about 95% sure it’s a good one!
Ottawa Canada. Cordon Bleu “campus”. A casual partime course.Admitted she did not finish it.
Calling herself a chef is just nuts. Half these dicks at FN have the same delusions as well.
She quit after only 2 weeks!
Oh yes, “trained at Le Cordon Bleu”… Meaning she took a course at the Ottawa campus, then dropped out after only 2 weeks! “Celebrity Chef”? Puh-leese…
She’s 70 percent Celebrity, 30 percent Chef. She grew up not knowing where her next tablescape was coming from.
Fantastic, Reg!
I think SHE’S 70 percent store bought and 30 percent original body parts.
Katy should sbsolutely go. Thankfully in OK booze cannot be sold in grocery stores so I never have to worry about running into a drunk Aunt Sandy!
Thankfully not in NY either (yet) but I don’t think that would stop Aunt Sandybags!
I think ya’ll are seriously underestimating Aunt Sandy’s ability to improvise.
After all, that bottle of vanilla extract in the spice aisle is 70 proof…
I think Aunt Sandy is seriously underestimating her ability to stand during such a demo. ;)
Oh, Please. Go!
Come on Katy! Take one for the team! Think of it as scientific research or a journalistic endeavor. Jillian can interview you for her podcast.
Brilliant!!
Hell yeah, go. You could very well walk away with a new appreciation for the woman. Or not. Either way it would be fun reading for the rest of us. Go booze it up for a half hour with Auntie Sandy. How would that not be fun?
That’s a very nice picture of her. I bet she doesn’t look
that good when she shows up
Her “boyfriend” is Andrew Cuomo, I think she can afford to look airbrushed in person!
The pic looks like every pic from Toddlers and Tiaras. Freaky.
Agree….totally cringe-worthy! *shudder*
BTW, I hope she doesn’t demonstrate making that cocktail with – what was it? – lemonade, vodka, and milk?
Lemonade, vodka and creme. I’d love to see her make that one.
I’d love to see if she actually drinks it.
Yeah, it’s not like acid and cream would curdle or anything…
Definitely go! I want a review from someone who fully understands how terrifying this is.
YES! A thousand times YES! If she was doing a demonstration at my local supermarket, you better believe I’d go! I might even get an autograph.
Oh Aunt Sandy, the laughs you have given me..
Go and take some drunken pics of her so you can post them here for us all to enjoy. A video would be even better!
Did anyone notice that the booze she is shilling is all premixed crap! I can here her now…. “Just unscrew the cap, pour over ice and VOILA, Lunch!” Just like the disgusting recipes on her show, these cocktails are super easy to make and also taste like Draino!
‘ “Just unscrew the cap, pour over ice and VOILA, Lunch!” Just like the disgusting recipes on her show, these cocktails are super easy to make and also taste like Draino!’
Sadly, I can actually hear this slurring out of Aunt Sandy’s mouth… ;-)
right the fuck on!
this is just awesome. if she were to do a “cooking” demo, no one would come.
I’d love to see her get sloshed live and in person.
I’d totally go for the LOLs!
GO K-A-T-Y!
GO K-A-T-Y!
GO K-A-T-Y!
Pick-up some “AA” flyers to hand out too!
lol!!!!
Oh, that’s brilliant. Get all into it and claim to be a recovering alchy.
No question, you are stripped of free will – - You MUST go with camera in hand!
If you go, make sure to find out what way Sandra is driving and go home the opposite way. Also give yourself a 10 minute head start.
Yes please go and take pictures!
The photo of her, especially the close up on top, looks like Heidi Montag (mainly the face).. I wonder if they have the same plastic surgeon?
You have to go!
YES! Oh my gosh, yesss. You have to!
Please go!!! It will be fun to read your follow-up report!
oh definitely go and take pics. I’m dieing to see what kind of cocktails she is going to demonstrate.
“cocktail time at home made easy”- as if making drinks is hard!
“as if making drinks is hard”
I guess if one is already drunk and has to rely on cheap booze and pre-made mixes…
How do you make 2 parts X, 1 part Y, dash of bitters easy?
If you can’t manage that, you probably shouldn’t have your motor skills impaired.
Wonder if she’ll be handing out ‘kiddie cocktails’ to all the young’uns ? (to get them started early {hic})
Can’t wait to hear Katy’s report.
Or perhaps “driver friendly” cocktails?
Katy should go, it’s a moral imperative.
It’s a moral imperative has become one of my favorite phrases ever since I first saw Read Genius. Glad to see someone appreciates it too.
Good to see someone with good taste in movies. :-)
In the immortal words of someone who went to Sandy’s demo: “I drank what?”
Oh you HAVE to go! For all of us who won’t even get the “chance” to go! And take lots and lots of pictures! :)
From Wikipedia “Lee then attended the world’s leading culinary art institute, Le Cordon Bleu.”[9] Lee enrolled in a recreational two-week course at the school’s Ottawa outpost, which she acknowledges that she did not complete.[10]“
Katy, if you do go, be sure to ask her if she reads Food Network Humor ;)
To be safe, however, before asking make sure no bottles are within her reach.
I’m thinking there is probably never a time when there are no bottles within her reach….
Can Food Network Humor give Katy press credentials?
I’ll try to get an autographed magazine for you Jillian!!
“To Jilllllian: I ruhlly ruhlly llllove your blog! Cool Whip Kisses, Sandy”
I am 101% positive that is an actual Barbie doll in that photo rather than Aunt Sandy.
I think her head shrinks a little every year.
Yes, GO! Please go and take pictures! Who knows…who may get free booze out of the deal!
She should totally go. I’m sure she won’t be the only one there laughing at Sandra Lee. TRUST ME.
I would go just to go to The Jewel. We don’t have them in Michigan & I like to stay at the Embasy Suites in Chicago because it’s right across the street.
( I need to get out more)
29th & Ashland? Could that be right? I would guess that 29th & Ashland is not really a place with a lot of Sandra Lee fans. How on Earth did they decide to stick her there? Is that McKinley Park? Bridgeport?
Good luck, Sandy!
So where exactly is this in Chicago? Somewhere filled with people too smart for Aunt Sandy’s semi-homemade sh*t?
It is on the south side. I find it hard to believe that there would be that many Sandra Lee fans. but maybe that was the only Jewel to take her dumb demo….
As someone who has had the pleasure of seeing Aunt Sandy’s antics live in person (fond memories of that GMA taping), I wholeheartedly suggest you go. If nothing else, you can bide your time counting how many people it takes to walk her out of the store after cocktail time or how many bags of trash she brings with her for her set-up. It’s a thing of beauty. Really. Every single tablecloth and animal carcass she hauls out will be shoved back into its original packaging by some lowly Sandra Lee empire employee.
The only reason the markets are advertising Aunt Sandy’s appearances is to give people in the town ample notice to keep off the roads on the day of her appearances! That is very considerate of the stores!
Oh man, if I still lived in Chicago I would totally go to this just for the laughs!
Oh, PLEASE go!! I would love to hear your report!
You could always hang out in one of the aisles, pretending not to watch. LOL
Get some cameltoe shots please.
Eww… it’s too early in the day for me to be tasting my own vomit and bile, please.
Lol, this is AWESOME! I’m totally going! I’ll even take a cab so that Aunt Sandy and I can have a truly, “deeeliscious” time!!!
Dammit, I was hoping I could say “IN BEFORE SOMEONE CALLS HER HOT”, but Silvio ruined it before I got here.
Oh oh, wait – in before someone calls me an ugly fat slag because I’m clearly jealous of Aunt Sandy’s oh-so entrancing beauty!
my sister wrote that email! We love laughing at her tablescapes and curtains! I want her to go and have Sandra autograph an empty bottle of cheap vodka for me!
uhhh and what will happen to the vodka, baby bird? you know who this is!
I will gladly attend any Denver-based Aunt Sandy events for the sake of FNH. I’ll even match my outfit to the store’s decor as to fit in.
I live in the Denver area too! If anyone out there hears about a Denver appearance – hell I’d even travel to Colorado Springs to see this train wreck – let us know! My flip camera is ready to go!
Ohhhh, you must GO!. Maybe there will be a Q & A, and you can ask truly obnoxious questions. Tape her getting hammered and post it on YouTube. There is endless possibilities!
As if Jewel couldn’t stoop any lower by being so overpriced! (At least ours is.) Katy please go to this!
Please go, Katy! Just wear a good disguise. And will photography be allowed? I want to see this on YouTube!
And even though I’m typically “too foodie” for Aunt Sandy’s semi-homemade sh*t (I’m more of a Trader Joe’s/Whole Foods kind of gal), I’d be more than willing to slum it over to Albertson’s if Aunt Sandy drinks her way through Las Vegas.
Totally go! Throw on a wig, a pair of dark shades and go. And take plenty of pictures – video too if you can.
I love a drink as much as the next gal, but there is no need to glorify booze in a family grocery store!! Wow!
Yes! I think we all need video. With snarky comments edited in.
Happy hour at the market — woooo weeeee ! Looked up her recipes and of course one has her signature ingredient ‘whipped topping’.
Well everyone, you have convinced me. I will be attending on Friday and will report dutifully back to Jillian.
Also, David is correct – this supermarket is actually in a pretty terrible neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago – not the same one I saw the sign in. I will hoof it down there as a loyal FNH fan. But this does beg the question – who in that neighborhood is actually going to show up to see Sandy?! Maybe no decent neighborhood would have her – ?
brown-baggers Katyboo, brown-baggers…..
Can’t see Whole Foods promoting SandyLush with her pre-mixed sippers.
Katy we salute you!
Whew! I was going to comment that it was in a really bad neighborhood but I did not want to offend you (in case you lived in it).
Which really, really begs the question: Did Sandra Lee set this up while she was drunk??!!!
Seriously, I think her limo would be totally out of place in that neighborhood!
“I think her limo would be totally out of place in that neighborhood”
I hope some of the locals show their “appreciation” by spreading Cool Whip all over that limo! ;-)
Yes! Go to Aunt Sandy’s cocktail time! I can’t wait to hear all about it.
This afternoon, I watched my first-ever episode of “Semi-Homemade.” I thought everybody here at FNH was exaggerating its ridiculousness. But, within about 10 minutes, I witnessed almost every Sandra Lee-ism, including mixing extract into Cool Whip (excuse me, whipped topping), “expresso” powder, and cocktail time. I LOL’d. I’m not saying that just as a figure of speech…I actually laughed out loud.
I know, right? Isn’t it hilarious to read the comments here, then check out the “chef personality” and see that the posts are not exaggerations!? Makes one absolutely LOL! :)
Holy crap, that’s some serious botox action going on there, or else that spray on foundation they spackle onto pageant girls. In addition to someone’s expertise with Photoshop.
Go, Katy, go! I want to see pictures from this llllllllovelllllllllly event.
YES! Please.
We want details.
If you get a chance to talk to her, ask her something funny. Like, with a very serious face, “How do you stay in such great shape when you’re the host of a cooking show?” Or maybe, in the same vein, “What kind of alcohol has the least calories?” Kinda mean but her show is a train wreck.
I’m sure her food products will have a an excellent shelf life.
Absolutely go, and create your own FNH shirt. Try to get a pic with her!
Dude, I like this idea. I have visions of her poor abused lackies trying to find some justification to get you kicked out of the store if you show up in one.
We are saved from this train wreck because only beer and wine can be sold in grocery stores in my state. They don’t do demos at the package store. However, if it was something that would be allowed, I think I would go just to watch the train wreck happen.
Yep… And that’s making me wonder how Aunt Sandy could ever do one of these demos in Utah. I guess she’d have to tell her fans there to drive to Vegas. In my ‘hood, all the supermarkets are fully loaded with booze conveniently placed near the slot machines… Perfect for Aunt Sandy! Hell, I’d LOVE to see Aunt Sandy come to one of my local grocery stores just to see her boozing it up while trying to talk about a recipe AND play a nickel machine at the same time! Talk about ROTFLMAO!!! :-D
Ok, if her recipes scream fattening, disgust and heartburn, and what she does best are these cocktails, why doesn’t she just have a show on how to get all liquoured up?
I mean it could be called “Tankin with Aunt Sandy” and different segments could be how to bar fly, how to make drinks out of ONLY alcohol, how to “tablescape” yourself to fool others you don’t look drunk (SandyScape), and how to get out of a DUI (ie faux boobs, crying, saying your a worl-renown chef, etc) while picking up the nephew from soccer practice…. NOW THAT whould be a show I’d watch EVERYDAY!
First the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup, now Sandra’s coming to Chicago?!? It’s the end of the world as we know it!!!
better get there early or she might be too drunk to legibly sign the magazines.
In order to reach Sandra Lee’s dedicated audience, these displays have been strategically placed in areas of supermarkets such as frozen foods, baking goods right next to the various extracts (grrrreat flllllaaaaaaaavor!), and in breakfast aisles.
@MISSK – I got so excited about Aunt Sandy doing a Denver appearance that I forgot that liquor is not sold in our supermarkets here. Maybe she will make an appearance at one of our many marijuana dispensaries.
Oh no… there’s liquor sold in the Safeway on Mineral and Broadway in Littleton, and at the Target on Colorado Blvd. and Alameda!!
I think we’re more likely to see Ass of Cakes Duff do a dispensary appearance. To which I will also attend.
Yes! Be FNH’s on-the-scene reporter!
Speaking of Sandra Lee, this is from today’s New York Post Page Six:
It doesn’t sound like Matilda Cuomo is a fan of the culinary skills of her son, Andrew’s, paramour, Food Network star Sandra Lee. According to a recent profile, Lee regularly makes lasagna for Andrew with cottage cheese and canned tomato soup. But Matilda told NY1′s Grace Rauh yesterday, “You know, maybe she puts cottage cheese because he doesn’t want to put on weight . . . because he’s watching his diet. But that’s not the way you make a lasagna.” Matilda went on to share her own lasagna recipe, which uses fresh ricotta cheese and parmesan. But Andrew’s mom had nice words for Sandra when asked if she has any guidance for Lee. Matilda answered, “She has accomplished so much on her own. She is so poised and elegant in her way and knows what her position is in all of this. So I don’t have to give her any advice.”
‘poised and elegant’ is that political speak for he can hold her liquor, or that she is a friendly drunk?
Matilda said she was “poised an elegant and dishes out a wicked pickle wash that Andrew says keeps his mind clear for important political matters at hand. He knows the tomato soup thing is wrong, but when she is that orally gifted, he can over look a few small culinary faux pas ” .
HELL yes.
Love the idea of having her autograph a bottle of booze.
Still don’t get why she is called a chef? But not at least I know I can load up with booze at a Jewel grocery store.
Guess it sounds better than “Celebrity Assembler”
Celebrity Assembler. I love it. Isn’t that what we could legitimately call most of the FN “chefs”?
“Isn’t that what we could legitimately call most of the FN “chefs”?”
Short answer: Yes.
Slightly longer answer: FN is too ashamed to admit it’s dumbed down most of its lineup of shows, but essentially most of the time we just see glorified “celebrity assemblers” put together “meals” that horrify real foodies. It makes me long for the days of “Molto Mario”…
For once I’m happy that I live in PA and you cannot purchase alcohol in the supermarket. I’ll never risk bumping into her…
haha Yes go, I bet she’s fake
Katy, you do your mother proud. If only I had hatched such a plan! You simply have to go & observe, and report back as to which cocktails are conjured up. I must run, dinner’s nearly ready and I haven’t selected a dress & earrings to match the roast beef. Good luck & God bless! Mom
“I must run, dinner’s nearly ready and I haven’t selected a dress & earrings to match the roast beef.”
Now THAT’S funny.
GO GO GO!!!
You should take a picture of Tony Bordain and ask Aunt Sandy to autograph it for you. Make sure you get a pic of the look on her drunken puss when she sees it. Or maybe she will be too drunk to recognize him!
Of course go! What great FOOD NETWORK HUMOR you could bring back! I mean, really, its Aunt Sandy!!
So is it Friday or Saturday? And is this really for real?
Seems like more of a Pamela Anderson type gig.
I can imagine a bunch of rowdy folks showing up in hopes of getting free samples lol !
FNH next T shirt idea:
It’s a tablescape, bitch.
So what happened? I await the answer with bated breath.
We need an update!
I had a panic attack on June 18. I guess now I know why… Sandra Lee was within a 1-mile radius of me.
Is Katy alright? Did she make it back from the cocktail demonstration?
[...] Food Network Humor » Sandra Lee’s Invading Local SupermarketsHeads up, America: Sandra Lee is apparently now doing “cocktail demonstrations” at local supermarkets! The horror! … YES! A thousand times YES! If she was doing a demonstration at my local supermarket, you better believe I’d go! I might even get an autograph. [...]