NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.

Aaron McCargo Jr, Closed Captions »

Aaron McCargo, Closed Captioned For The Grammatically Impaired
Posted on July 1st 2010 by Jillian Madison

The following screen grabs are from this weekend’s episode of Big Daddy’s House, called “Deli Done Right.” He may have done the deli right, but I can’t say the same about his grammar.

(We apologize for any loss of brain cells you may have experienced whilst reading this blog post.)



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---The Food Network: Closed Captioned
---An Awkward, Rambling Video Message From Aaron McCargo
---The Food Network: Closed Captioned (12/18/09)
---Anne Burrell: Closed Captioned
---Aaron McCargo Named One Of Last Decade’s Sexiest Chefs (Really?)

    85 Responses

  1. Hilton says:

    Oh my god. LOL.

  2. emptysky1969 says:

    Bubba Gump is easier to understand and is a genius compared to Aaron!

  3. GreenJeans says:

    I’ gonna get me sum aspirin. An sum wata to wash it down.

    One clean hand, two reasons…the suspense is killing me.

  4. Silvio says:

    Wasn’t he just on The First 48 ?

  5. merijoe says:

    Ah, I was going to say, he needs a show called “What The Hell Did Aaron McArdle Say?” now all I need to do is closed caption his show. I feel sorry for the poor guy operating the Cryon for closed caption-wonder if he/she is able to decifer acturately.

  6. Ray says:

    …and the English major within me is suddenly very glad I have never watched his show. Ouch. Aaron would annoy me endlessly. Based on posts I have seen here in the forums, I gather he doesn’t enunciate clearly, either.

  7. merijoe says:

    yes, I wrote “Act ur ately”

  8. pintbypint says:

    He’s jus’ keeping it real like a gansta chef should.

  9. What the frig is wrong with you people? How dare you poke fun of someone keepin’ it real.

    Imagine a drunken Pauler and McCantspeak having an argument after polishing off a bottle of Courvoisier.

    • Ferd Berfle says:

      I wish all the drunk and incoherent FN hosts would just get together, get completely trashed and put it all on videotape for all to enjoy. Then the network could explode and we’d be done with it.

      • Mo says:

        I always wonder what that would be like. I especially think of the more disparate personalities hanging. Alex Guarnaschelli and Sandra Lee, for example. How long would it take Alex to kill her. Or Alton Brown and Aaron McCargo Jr. Ina Garten and Sunny Anderson.

    • Silvio says:

      McGhetto drinks Colt 45.

    • Kira says:

      Shit haven’t you seen Emeril trying to operate his food processor?

  10. Jill P says:

    Is it me, or was he starting to look angrier and angrier on each of these screen caps? Maybe he knows what we’re talking about …

    It’s funny, I did transcription for awhile, and we had to type verbatim what someone said. However we did have to spell the word the way it should be, not how the person said it. If they said “I’m gonna get me some of dem peppercorns now …” it had to be typed “I’m going to get me some of them peppercorns.” We also were not supposed to put in “ums” or repeats, or stutters — those were supposed to be ignored. It’s funny to see how these closed captions come through now.

  11. skidv25 says:

    He has some very weird facial expressions, especially in the last picture!

  12. Andra says:

    I’m gonna git me some pork up in here! WHERE MY DOO-RAG AT?

  13. Roger says:

    Hey, now, wait a cotton-pickin’ minute! I’m a born and bred Southern boy and I don’t mind his closed captioned grammar. Just because he … er, what? Excuse me? Aaron is not from the South? He’s from New Jersey?! Okay, now I’m offended.

    PS: Did I really write “cotton-pickin’”?

    • atdleft says:

      “He’s from New Jersey?!”

      Come on, don’t hate on Jersey. Have you seen “Jersey Shore”, “Jerseylicious”, and/or “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”? Trust me, they KNOW how to completely mangle and destroy the English language! ;-)

    • Paula Deen says:

      hi, y’all.

  14. Mac says:

    I second MERIJOE. Can you imagine the agony of the poor closed-caption typist?

  15. Robert says:

    I used to work for a caption house and was the guy who had to transcribe this stuff. It was torture when these kinds of shows came across, because we had to try and shoe horn their words into grammatically correct sentences.

    Oh, and because I’m sure you were wondering: We had a style guide that dictated the correct way in which “Beotch” was to be used.

  16. numb says:

    Maybe I’m the crazy one here, but every time I think back to his season of TNFS I really don’t remember him talking so…. uneducated? During TNFS, didn’t he speak in proper sentences and use fairly decent grammar? Again, maybe I’m crazy and just not remembering things properly… but I have a feeling that Bob Tuschman may have urged Aaron to ‘keep it real’ by appealing to a slightly more urban demographic.
    Of course, I admit that my opinion of ol’ Bob is pretty low and that I have absolutely no trouble viewing him as a racist bigot.

    • Silverlock says:

      From what I remember of his TNFNS run he spoke in complete sentences whenever he was off-camera, but as soon as he did what would now be called a CAMERA CHALLENGE! he slipped into the persona that he uses on his current show all the time.

      • Silverlock says:

        And re-reading my own comment I realize that calling any televised part of TNFNS “off-camera” is perhaps not entirely accurate. :)

      • BigWillieJohnson says:

        I nor my bride remember McCargo ever sounding like this when he was on the challenge, The Next Food Network Star, but we both remember some guy named rob or bob kept saying something like he needed to see more of McCargo’s “soul”……………..

    • oh_come_on says:

      If the NFNS’s supposed to be ‘an example’ for us at home, nice example Mr. Gonna Git Me Sum.

    • I clearly remember when he was a contestant and just as clearly remember how surprised I was that he won. His cooking was not my forte but I felt his grammar was just too embarrassing for the FN to ever choose him for a television show. WRONG; cringing now at the thought!

  17. Robin says:

    Why he so dum?

  18. oh_come_on says:

    People in eastern NC talk like Aaron. Lived listening to it for 15 years, cringing.

  19. Goober says:

    Stuff White People Like #472: Policing Grammar

  20. Detroit66 says:

    Am I the only one that sees it? Hears it? McCargo is channeling MUSHMOUTH from Cosby. It gets worse week after week – less articulate – words bleeding into each other – ramblings and all out made up words. “I beba cookin my potatobu recibubba. I be grababuba some egguba wif one handabubba”

    MY HEBBA HURT!

  21. Kitty says:

    Stupid is as stupid does and, ugh, stupid is an understatement to describe this guy.

  22. PeteC94 says:

    I’ve never actually watched his show but I figured it was bad due to some of the comments I’ve heard on this site. I had no idea it was quite that bad though. Kinda makes you wonder what demographic the Food Network is reaching out to with that show.

  23. chicken feets says:

    I got me one hand clean, because, you know…

  24. BCA says:

    I’m gonna get me some earplugs…

  25. atdleft says:

    Yeah, honestly it’s even too much for me… And I <3 Paula Deen and the Neelys!

    Big Daddy's crimes against the English language are about as bad as Queen YUM-O's fabricated "words" and Aunt Sandy's all-too-often drunken slurs.

  26. Teague says:

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again…no wonder his son ran away.

  27. Mort says:

    This is what happens whenever Gordon Elliott produces for the FN. Other examples of his handiwork – the Neelys and Paula Deen.

    • Melissa D'umbass says:

      so true. door knock dinners wasn’t bad, but the only work elliott should be doing for fn is in front of the camera. he clearly has no business finding and honing talent.

      what’s worse is these three shows are some of the most popular on there. :(

      • MJ says:

        I couldn’t agree more with the comment about Gordon Elliot and I actually did not realize he produces this show also, but it doesn’t come as a surprise. I could watch anything before I could sit through the Neelys or Paula Deen & I’m a southerner just a few years younger than that wanker Paula.

        I didn’t watch the next FN star the year AAron won, and was STUNNED when I realized he was a former winner. I’m gon go find me a mute button.

  28. B says:

    It’s really a shame, especially when the Food Network often encourages kids to learn to cook. They learn poor grammar along the way. Suddenly Giada’s over-enunciation of Italian words seems like a godsend in light of BigDaddy’s awful English. I should cut her some slack!

  29. anjarew says:

    I’m just glad the black people on the FN aren’t perpetuating any stereotypes…

  30. Sandy says:

    I sincerely hope that these were Photoshopped, but I know that they weren’t. A little bit of me just died on the inside.

  31. Motzi Greps says:

    I am psychologically unable to comprehend the vernacular meaning of Aaron’s heavily eubonic interpretated vocabulary.

  32. If_Its_Funky_Ill_Find_It says:

    “I’se gawn get Bob Tuschman ta buy me some bigga ear-rangs ’cause dese mofos I be wearin’ ain’t big enuf.”

  33. Catherine says:

    funny.

  34. FuryOfFirestorm says:

    It least he didn’t say
    “Grrrl, i’m so hungry I could go fer sum SKRIMPS!”

    • Joel says:

      I could get me some skrimps *

      shrimp are often shelled and deveined. So the “i got me some shelled, deveined…” is very likely followed by “skrimps” or at least “shrimps”

  35. ori01 says:

    …and by the way, his fingers always look greasy or wet. Yuck!!

  36. Sandra Lee's Liver says:

    No, wait! We can have a show with Captain “Mumbles” Groooooooooooooover and Aaron McCargo! You won’t be able to understand a single word, but it sure will be a hoot to watch!

  37. I nor my bride remember McCargo ever sounding like this when he was on the challenge, The Next Food Network Star, but we both remember some guy named rob or bob kept saying something like he needed to see more of McCargo’s “soul”……………..

  38. Yoli P. says:

    Holy Sh*tballs!! Remind me again how he won “Next Foodnetwork Star”!!

  39. Kev in Delaware says:

    May as well change the title of his show to “Big Daddy’s Hizzy”

  40. Ryoko says:

    Is he from the north?
    (British reference no one may get)

  41. Betty says:

    As bad as Mumbles is I can still tolerate him better than Melissa (I got bacon frozen in my freezer) D’Arabian

    • Barb says:

      Correction. She does not just have frozen bacon, she LOVES keeping her bacon in the freezer. I don’t know, when I need to think happy thoughts, how much I LOVE keeping my bacon in the freezer doesn’t come to mind. And I, at this very moment, have bacon in the freezer. I don’t LOVE it though.

  42. Rose says:

    My favorite show to watch with closed captioning: Down Home with the Neelys. You think their sexual innuendo is awkward with sound? Oohhhh you have no idea.

    • hi. says:

      heh. you have it on mute and your mother walks in when gina refers to herself as brown sugar.
      “Oh, my STARS! How can you kids watch these things?
      And is that a ceramic pig?”

  43. struhar2010 says:

    i am literally crying reading your website because i’m laughing so hard.

  44. woodsgirl says:

    He is the most illiterate moron on the face of the planet and never should have been put on TV but the diversity angle apparently took over. I gotta go get me some aspirin.

  45. REKS says:

    LMFAO…i just shit myself

  46. Pam says:

    He looks so damn serious when saying, “I’VE GOT ME SOME SALTED WATER.” LOL it’s like some sort of deadpan winning line or something.

  47. YAYA says:

    They should create a new show called Aaron Mcargo’s grammar and cooking class. He talk like dis all them day ‘nd yu never no whose he’s actually talkin ’bout ’cause them there foods network peoples donts knowse what theys talkings about. I mean he go like wats wrong which yu.

  48. JJ says:

    I often wondered what it would be like if the dude from The Green Mile had a cooking show and now I know. Thanks Aaron.

  49. ecosystem says:

    it’s called “african-american vernacular english”, and it’s a dialect of english spoken by millions of black people across the country. it has its own set of consistent grammatical patterns.

    if you’re going to pick on him, don’t pick on him for having grown up in a black community. jesus.

  50. AJJ says:

    The one where he kept his one hand clean sounded to me like a pirate:
    “Argh! I kept me one hand clean fer two reasuns!”

  51. Joel says:

    I got me some tears running down my cheeks im laughing so hard.

    i also got me a friend in the room who keeps telling me to stop laughing.

    i got me a new favorite website xD

  52. Joel says:

    This is my new computer background on slideshow.

Post your comments


LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved