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General: Food Network »

Emeril Has His Own Line Of Canned Meals For Kids?!
Posted on July 21st 2010 by Jillian Madison

One word: Ewwwwwwww.

I had no idea Emeril was peddling his own line of “Bam” meals until FNH reader Anya sent me this photo. She found a gigantic stack of them sitting at her local Marc’s (which is like Xpect Discounts, but worse. And if you’ve never heard of those stores, consider yourself lucky. They’re both awful, filthy places where wretched products go to die.)

Here’s what Anya had to say:

I have never heard a thing (on FNH or anywhere else) about Emeril having his own line of Chef Boyardee so I’m assuming it failed horribly and whoever was behind it was too ashamed to advertise these meals. I really should’ve bought one when I had the chance, I bet it would’ve been disgusting!  And I really hope Emeril had to taste test all of the recipes for these. No one else should be subjected to canned pasta and meat.

My favorite part of the label design is the fact that it looks like it says 8 AM MEALS and not BAM MEALS.

But wait! There’s more!

He also sells something called “Happy Happy Real Beef Mini Ravioli.” The product description on the official Bam website is priceless:

“They are just the right size to make your family HAPPY, HAPPY! Real beef, thick, sweet, mellow tomato sauce with real pieces of meat and lot’s and lot’s of ravioli’s that are the perfect size for one and all. Made with only the best ingredients that only a real Chef of today would demand; great raviolis, vine ripened tomatoes, real beef and Emeril’s special seasonings made especially for you.”

1) They’re going to make my family HAPPY HAPPY? More like: they’re going to make my family VOMIT VOMIT!

2) Did they really put an apostrophe in lot’s? Twice???

3) Made with the best ingredients that only a “REAL CHEF” of today would demand? Really? I know a lot of “real chefs” and not one of them would serve these to their dogs.

He also sells something called “Oh Yeah Baby: O’s Pasta & Meatballs.” The website boasts “Kids will gobble it up. O’s, O’s, O’s and more O’s combined with mini meatballs and more mini meatballs mixed in Emeril’s own delicate special sauce.” Ewwwwww. I don’t want to know anything about his O’s or his “own delicate special sauce.”

Sorry. As far as I’m concerned, the only BAM I’ll be hearing is the sound of that nasty shit hitting the bottom of my garbage can.



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---STAY THE F*CK AWAY FROM MY MOTHER, EMERIL!
---Giada’s New Line Of Dog Food
---Ironic Celebrity Chef Garbage Pail Kids
---Ironic Celebrity Chef Garbage Pail Kids
---Every Episode Of 30 Minute Meals

    56 Responses

  1. Suzanne says:

    I’m shocked! And disgusted. Talk about selling out. :(

  2. Motzi Greps says:

    OMG, I ‘sorta; started to like Emeril again after a long hiatus. I could no longer tolerate BAM toothpaste and all the other BS. He had become too much. Here, I thought he had mellowed with his Farm To Fork schtick. Now, I’m done for good. Bye bye BAM… Take your Eddie Munster looking a$$ and be gone.

  3. GreenJeans says:

    When I looked at the picture my first thought was Jillian was playing with photo shop again. Then the horror hit when I realized it was not a joke. (An intentional joke)

    YE GODS!

  4. Mandy says:

    They really need to learn how to spell :(
    Not only ‘lot’s’ has an apostrophe, but they used one in ‘ravioli’s’.
    Why did they capitalize ‘chef’?
    Fail.

  5. oh_come_on says:

    What kid even knows who Emeril is? Bet BAM tastes about as nasty as Chef Boyardee. My daughter never liked canned $hit.

  6. old unkajoe says:

    This is just about the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.

  7. Thom Stilton says:

    That’s just sad. I guess it’s similar to washed up Hollywood superstars doing lame dinner theatre in Podunk USA.

  8. Bisky says:

    Disgusting. Poor sweaty Emeril.

  9. Daria says:

    Ewwwww was the first thing I said as soon as saw the picture too. I am really shocked that Emeril would put his name on this. I’d love to see the ingredients list on this stuff.
    Yesterday I was in the store in the chicken stock aisle and saw Rachael Ray’s mug on her brand. Even though it was on sale I still refuse to buy it!

    • old unkajoe says:

      If you go the website, you’ll see the nutritional labels for each product on its own page. For some reason, though, they don’t state what a serving size is.

      • Daria says:

        Interesting they did block out the servings per container on the website. It looks like the can is 15oz, and the serving size on the label is 1 cup, so it’s about 2 servings per can. Considering the kid will eat the whole can, you have to double the amount of sodium they show which adds up to a god awful amount. Even though the label says 25% less sodium on the front, this is far from a low sodium product. Plus there’s partially hydrogenated oils in there, which is trans fat. “BAM! its the right thing to do!” says the website, I think not!

      • Jane G says:

        Takes a bit of hunting to see it, but they all say the serving size is 1 cup…not that I’ll be eating any of them…..

    • Erica says:

      I saw that box of stock with her picture on it on 30 MM the other day. Tacky! Kinda like seeing ole Paulers name on the bottom of the pots and pans she uses on her show.

  10. Lillian says:

    Kick it up a notch…straight out the back door and into the garbage. Just..no. Do not want. And seriously, the “ingredients only a REAL CHEF would use” showing up in a mass-produced canned ravioli? Nope, don’t think so.

  11. Anon R. D. says:

    A thought: if you’re offended and grossed by this stuff, *don’t go* to Emeril’s freakin restaurants when you visit New Orleans.

    Go to Ralph’s on the Park, people. Marvelous!

  12. Erica says:

    This looks like something you will be able to buy in Big Lots real soon…

  13. Ina Garten DaVida says:

    Lo how the mighty have fallen.

    More sadness than anger.

    Who will be next to sell out? Ina’s Jeffrey-Bears in two delicious flavors: Good Vanilla and Gay-raham?

  14. Di says:

    Emeril SO cares about your kids.
    Funny his new show on cooking channel is “Fresh Food Fast” – kind of doesn’t compute with this crap, eh?

    What was he thinking!

    • annie says:

      It’s funny how everyone thinks he’s a sell out. Well, think again. Where does he comes from? What happens in his neck of the woods? People, it’s about eating! when you live in a HURRICANE/severe storm area YOU NEED FOOD! you don’t care if it’s in a can or a box! The box pasta would be great, but in reality you dont have electric nor gas to heat it up with. So people need to look WAY PAST THEIR NOSE.

      I have from June- Nov. with three kids, a husband, and two grandparents. We have bad storms that knock out power alll the time. this and yes so sorry for your perfect ears canned veggies put well needed food on the table in a pinch when we lose power. which happens just about once a month here in Florida. I have stocked my shelves with all sorts of canned food, because I need it. Not because i like it!

  15. MsFoodie says:

    Bad Trans Fats, BAD! :( Oh, Emeril….

  16. Marsha says:

    Wow, Emeril! How sad!

  17. Carrie says:

    This is just the same shit as Chef Boyardee, but with different packaging.

  18. Kristyn says:

    I thought it said BAM BALLS.

  19. Ray says:

    So, what exactly is “Rock n’ Roll” about the ravioli? Perhaps the motions you make while spending a good amount of time on the toilet after having eaten a few spoonfuls?

  20. sopa says:

    Holy Crap! I don’t care who you are, what kind of ‘delicate tomato sauce’ your factory makes, or catchphrases used on the can in bright colors to capture one’s eye…nobody can compete with the nasty-ness that is somehow loved called “Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee”

  21. clownpenis0 says:

    I found his ~essence~ spice mix on a clearance rack.. not horrible sprinkled on fresh mutz

  22. Michael says:

    ANYthing made by Chef Boyardee is hideous and disgusting no matter whose face is on the can.

  23. BCA says:

    I actually saw those at Star Market! I was shocked, but not surprised, considering this is the food network we’re talking about.

    • BCA says:

      Aaaaand I contradicted myself and sounded like an absolute idiot. Maybe I should have said I was shocked to see them at Star Market but not surprised the product exists.

  24. Why does it seem that anything with the name of some celebrity chef on it is guaranteed to suck? Seriously, where is the QC? I understand that these people aren’t making the stuff themselves and have probably never even tasted it but surely they are aware of the poor quality. Are you telling me that no-one has ever accosted Paula Deen on the street for a $5 refund for her bland and disgusting Mac & Cheese?

    It wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t running into life-sized posters of Paula Deen in the meat section of your local supermarket. What incentive is there for me to try whatever she is hawking after my experience with her other products? It seems to me that this sort of thing cheapens the “brand” (and by brand I mean any product endorsed by a celebrity chef) and everyone (but mostly the consumer) loses.

    • Lynne says:

      I think the Food Network is more concerned with personalities than actual food. I stopped watching it just for that reason.

      Honestly, I get more out of food blogs designed by regular people than what is being shown on that network these days.

  25. semi-irate says:

    Of all the things to produce with your name on it, canned ravioli? Really? I’ll take Chef Boyardi over this crap. At least I don’t have to look at Emeril’s creepy smile on the cover of the can.

  26. MNLisaB says:

    So very wrong on so many different levels- where do I start?

    Emeril, would you feed YOUR kids this dreck?

  27. Lana says:

    Never having tasted the stuff, I hesitate to comment on how nasty it must be. But ANY canned pasta just can’t be good.

    I am now totally curious! Wonder if any of my local stores carry it ….

  28. Deaner says:

    “Rock n Roll Ravioli” sounds more like something Guy Fieri would hawk than Emeril.

    As for the Bamster…*shrug*. Canned pasta is pretty low-end fare for a celeb chef, but his jarred pasta sauces are nothing to shout about, either. High Fructose Corn Syrup doesn’t exactly “kick it up a notch” in my book.

  29. stoup says:

    Canned pasta – yucka mucka!

  30. Dustin says:

    Don’t really think it will be “BAM!” going in, but that crap will definitely be a “BAM!” coming out..

  31. merijoe says:

    “ingredients only a REAL CHEF would use”? when did REAL CHEFS start using diarrhea to cook with?

    What happened to Emeril? Remember this little ditty in 2001:

    Review for Emeril (2001)

    “It’s perhaps the first sitcom inspired by a couple of catchphrases. How else to explain why NBC execs thought chef Emeril Lagasse, famous for his “BAM!” and “Kick it up a notch!” declarations, could carry a sitcom, even one in which he played chef Emeril Lagasse, surrounded by cliched sitcom characters?

    Worse still, the series wasted the late Robert Urich, in his last TV series role, as Emeril’s agent.”

    100 pounds later:
    CBS has ordered a pilot for a daytime cooking game show starring Emeril Lagasse. The untitled project, produced from FremantleMedia, will be filmed in front of a live audience and will feature members of the studio audience competing against each other for a prize in preparing a dish under the supervision of the famous TV chef.

    Emeril is a whore

  32. Panna Cotta says:

    Gagged a little. This is so, so wrong.

  33. Devika says:

    I can’t get over the fact that one of the other canned meals is called “Beefy Mac Macaroni and Beef.” At least that’s what it says on the can itself, yet on that same page it says “Beefy Mac Macaroni and Cheese.”

  34. Darlene says:

    This is a comment on the post, not the product. I love Marcs. Maybe you’re referring to a different chain of stores? Maybe the one you go to one that’s in a nasty neighborhood and hasn’t been renovated in a long long time? Our Marcs has the best deals and quality on fresh produce, since they’re part of a larger buying group. Yes they do sell close out products that you might see stacked out in bulk, but they also have great prices on any regular name brand products that you’d see at a regular “rip-off” grocery store!

  35. Jillian says:

    Sadly, this has to be better than the food I just made for my Semi-Edible blog: Aunt Sandy’s drive-in walnut burgers and her Spiked Orange Smoothie…..sooooooo gross. I’d take Emeril’s Rock-n-Roll Real beef raviolis any day!

  36. Ali says:

    If Emeril were an unknown “chef” on NFNS, and tried to peddle this crap in the “own brand” challenge, he’d be thrown out on his arse.

    Can you picture the face of Tushman after he tasted this drek?

  37. Lynne says:

    Just came across this from Huffington Post. This is TOO funny! I don’t know what I love more – the very concept, the name (‘Bam Meals’ IS so easily changed to ‘Barf Meals’, isn’t it?) or the manufacturer’s grammar skills.

    Oh, heck – I’ll just say I love all of it – lots – I mean, lot’s and lot’s. And lot’s. ;-D

    Not that I’m a fan of Emeril or his little T.V. empire-of-sorts, this may have been manufactured w/out his actually knowing about it. Might make these television personalities more cautious about actually reading their contracts.

  38. anya says:

    I went back to Marc’s today and they still had some! I picked up a can of the “oh yeah baby, o’s pasta & meatballs” and I will eat it for lunch someday this week. I will definitely send in pictures of the food and a detailed review of how it tastes.

  39. Rosa says:

    Wolfgang Puck has been pulling this crap for years, so its not a surprise that Emeril is jumping on the awful bandwagon.
    It’s amazing that these chefs are willing to kill their reputations over this sort of stuff. If they wanted to make some extra money with their name then they should make dog food, people wouldn’t eat it and wouldn’t know they just don’t care.

  40. Marco says:

    I’m not sure if I remember this correctly, but didn’t Emeril sell his entire Emeril Lagase empire to Martha Stewart? I think I remember that happened a few years ago, with Emeril selling his rights to everything but his restaurants to Martha Stewart’s empire.

    If that’s the case, it is Martha Stewart to blame for these canned products, including the pasta sauces being sold. Emeril basically has no say over what Stewart sells under his name.

  41. Michele says:

    He should be ashamed of himself. It’s ravioli not raviolis and why is there an apostrophe in that too? Ugh!

  42. Jimmy says:

    I tried his canned “Chef-Boyardee Imitation Ravioli”, boy do they suck>> Rubber thingies with bamboo filling, yuck!!
    Then, to make things worse, on the back of the can it mentions Emirili’s own kids loving it. Sure they do >> in their 30s…lmao!!!

  43. Jimmy says:

    Bamm, a sprinkle of suck!!!

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