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General: Food Network »

Google Auto-Suggestions For Food Network Chefs (Part 2)
Posted on July 12th 2010 by Jillian Madison

If you use Google, chances are you know about Auto-Suggest. When you type a few letters into the search box, Google guesses what you’re searching for and offers suggestions in real time. The suggestions are based on the overall popularity of various searches.

So basically, Google Suggest offers hilarious insight as to what the majority of people are searching for on Google.

Here are a few Google Auto-Suggestions for our favorite Food Network chefs. And yes, they’re 100% real. You can head on over to Google.com and see them for yourselves. There are some scary people out there. Enjoy!



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Google Auto-Suggestions For Food Network Chefs
---Auto-Corrected Food Network
---If The Food Network Designed Google Logos…
---The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game
---Costume Suggestions For Food Network Chefs: Part 1

    56 Responses

  1. Kenneth says:

    LOL @ the Duff one. Does the pope shit in the woods?

  2. James says:

    Considering Ina only hangs out with gay guys, even IF she were polyamorous, who’s she gonna hook up with? (now I have to go gouge my eyes out with a pitchfork at the thought of her grinding and flopping around on…well, pretty much ANYBODY!)

    • Colleen says:

      Oh, she is polyamorous. No IF about it. Apparently she’s pretty open about it.

      But, my reaction was exactly the same when I first found out. Although I don’t think I’d kick TR out of bed for eating crackers, gay or not.

    • SaraCVT says:

      Considering her attractions, she kinda has to be polyamorous just to get some. Of course, even still one wonders if anyone would take her up on the offer.

  3. Andra says:

    OMG! I laughed so hard at the last one, I shot green tea out of my nose. HEEEEEEEEE!

  4. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    As much energy as Ina uses to hang all over Jeffrey, cook tons of food (to feed a lot of people of course), play bridge, plan cookouts with her gay boys, hang out at the beach and walk on her treadmill (!), how could she possibly have more partners?

  5. kross says:

    lol..is Gaida a dwarf?

    • christellar says:

      LOL i wuz just gonna say that!

      The only reason she has the show is because of her smile and those pillows seeping from her shirt! I love Italian too Giada: but you can only be SO REDUNTANT before I refuse to continue watching.

      On the rachel ray one? I’m not surprised. Many of my dood-friends think shes smokin hawt even with a panty-line LOL

      ….I personally drewl over whether or not Ramsey wears boxers or briefs ;)

  6. numb says:

    ROFL! My favorites:

    “does rachael ray have throat cancer”

    “does paula deen have diabetes”

    “how much does paula deen weigh”

  7. mary says:

    Ina does have a new cookbook coming out in October:
    “How Easy is That?”
    Honest, look at amazon!
    (Do you think Food Network Humor inspired her in choosing the title?)

    • annyong says:

      Went to Amazon to look at the cover, and I almost fell out because I thought she *wasn’t* wearing a shent. But all is right with the world; it’s just hiding under that hideous scarf, which by the way, only hipsters in their 20s are allowed to wear indoors. And maybe I’ve been watching too much True Blood, but that red is completely unappetizing.

      All in all, that is one of the least attractive cookbook covers I’ve seen in a long, long time. I say this as someone who loves Ina. I have all of her cookbooks. Of course I pre-ordered this one. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

    • Mystie says:

      You know, I love Ina and her cookbooks, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to walk past my cookbook shelf and see “How Easy Is THAT?” flashing at me every fucking day. Horrible, horrible, loathsome title, and I’m not crazy about the subtitle “faaaaabulous recipes” either.

  8. oh_come_on says:

    Hilarious. No good ones for Mommy McBacon, darn!

  9. Ferd Berfle says:

    How good is Ina Garten and how good is that?
    Is Ina Garten the inventor of shents?
    When is Ina Garten going to stop using only good vanilla?
    Is Ina Garten aware of just how annoying she is?

  10. MsFoodie says:

    Lol… amazing what people search for.

  11. Di says:

    LMAO! I think Anne Burell might be laughing hers off, too, even as we speak !
    I don’t even want to imagine Rachael’s skivvies – or lack thereof :(

  12. m says:

    from google auto suggest => “aaron mccargo show cancelled” … (if only we were so lucky)

  13. mandi says:

    This is a part 2? Aww I must have missed the first one! Funny!!

  14. Gary Coleman says:

    The preferred nomenclature is “little people”. Jerks.

  15. Deaner says:

    Funny stuff!

  16. Melissa D'umbass says:

    i’m still unsure if ina is monoamorous, let alone poly. sitting around in shents eating ice cream made with good vanilla isn’t a relationship.

  17. Andrew says:

    One of the most interesting things about Ina that you guys probably don’t know, she wrote the nuclear energy budget and policy papers on nuclear centrifuge plants for Presidents Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter. No joke. Google it.

  18. Cut LaRoy says:

    Midgets shouldn’t have such short tempers.

  19. Bad Vanilla says:

    Ina is no contessa. She has started calling herself that in her intros, “Hi, I’m the barefoot contessa.”, but she’s no contessa and I do not want to see her barefoot!

    I once caught a glimpse of her feet while she was out in her garden and I think I noticed some bunions! LOL Ew.

  20. Masahiko Kobe says:

    I love a lot of your site, but it’s a little hypocritical to make fun of Food Network chefs for misspelling words when you post things like:

    “Probably to [detract] people from noticing her sauce is bitter?”

    • If you think DETRACT is a misspelling, you should probably crack open your dictionary a little more often. It’s a real word, dude.

      DETRACT: take away: take away a part from; diminish; “His bad manners detract from his good character”

      • SaraCVT says:

        While DETRACT is indubitably a word, I think the word you really wanted was DISTRACT.

        DISTRACT: To draw away or divert, as the mind or attention; “The music distracted him from his work”

      • No, actually, the word I really wanted was DETRACT, which is why I wrote DETRACT. :)

      • SaraCVT says:

        Okaayyy….

      • Masahiko Kobe says:

        Jillian clearly just used the wrong word to detract us from the fact that she somehow managed to post her reply a day earlier than my initial comment.

        If you’re a time-traveler, Jillian, please take Food Network back to the days where Ming Tsai, Sara Moulton and Mario Batali had their own shows.

  21. Fred says:

    You left off Alton Brown, which contains such gems as:

    is Alton Brown a jerk
    is Alton Brown anti-gay

    Maybe those are just not funny, but you do have a tendency to go easy on Alton. I never have heard a satisfactory answer to the latter one there. Some discussion ensued at FNH a while back, I think.

    • I saw the Alton auto-suggestions but I didn’t really think they were funny.

    • FuryOfFirestorm says:

      “Is Alton a jerk?” From what I keep hearing, people that met him say he’s super-nice.

      “Is Alton anti-gay?” I know AB is a practicing Christian, but he hasn’t said or done anything (in public, anyway) to backup that assertion. He’s worked with Ted Allen and Cat Cora many times and AB didn’t act disgusted or treat them differently.

  22. Matthew says:

    What about:
    “Does Anne Burrell have tourettes”

  23. angela says:

    1. Detract was an appropriate word choice here. (It bugs me that anyone would say otherwise!)

    2. SO FUNNY! :)

    • SaraCVT says:

      Today was really rough, but I am not going to get into this. I agree, in whatever words, that this post was really funny. Jillian has a definite gift.

    • Jon Lambert says:

      I think distract might have been a more appropriate word, because it simply doesn’t sound as awkward as detract in that sentence. You can detract objects and people and such, yes, but usually you don’t detract objects performing verbs. That is to say, “detract people from noticing” doesn’t seem to work because in that sentence detract is interacting with noticing, and detract doesn’t interact with verbs usually unless it has “from” after it. “Detract people noticing” would have been fine, I think.

  24. Gabby says:

    Anne Burrell is “Gal Fieri” around here.

  25. Jon Lambert says:

    Sun doesn’t technically rise, as people are aware. People just call it rising, when, as far as I know, it stays in one position and the Earth rotates in such a way as to make it look as though it rises and falls. Therefore the most technical assumption you could make based on your answer to Duff Goldman’s auto-suggest is that he does not smoke weed.

  26. Diane says:

    LOL!! Sounds like a LOT of very bored people out there.

    Ehhh…who am I kidding? I Google people too. ;)

  27. missy says:

    I tried the auto-suggest for “paula deen is” & “sandra lee is”

    The 2 funniest were: “paula deen is trying to kill us” (hello lobster shooters!), & “sandra lee is the devil”

    • missy says:

      Aaaand I just realized those 2 have already been covered, oops! (Sorry, just found this site a few days ago by random!)

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