Next Food Network Star »
Next Food Network Star: Episode 6 Recap (7/18/2010)
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Okay everybody… we’re down to the final 7 dwarfs contestants on Next Food Network Star! Last week, Paula Deen showed up wearing a brown potato sack Snuggie, and a sparrow tragically died in Aarti’s hair. Sadly, this week wasn’t nearly as exciting. There was another camera challenge (snore) and the majority of the episode was filmed at Frank Sinatra’s old house (double snore). Oh, and did I mention Ted Allen was the guest judge?
For the first challenge, the finalists each had to prepare a dish for a specific party event using mystery ingredients that were hidden inside picnic baskets. Aarti got New Years Eve, Brad got a bachelorette party, and judging by the ridiculously over-exaggerated look on her face, Aria must have gotten XXX PORN NIGHT.
Giada told them the winner would get to share their dish on the new Cooking Channel, the network for “today’s new food lover who is looking for even more.” Really? Even more what? Repeats of shows from 10 years ago? Thanks, but I’ll pass. Besides, we all know the Cooking Channel is where Food Network shows go to die. Just ask Aida!
Anyway, Tom and Brad did really well with the camera portion of the challenge, but once again, Brianna struggled through the whole thing. She made chorizo taquitos (spicy sausage)… for a 5 year old’s birthday party. Her viewer tip was even more redonkulous: “Bake off a couple dozen cupcakes, have all the decorations out, and let the kids get dirty while the ladies have a glass of champagne,” she suggested. Great idea, Brianna! Let the kids trash the house while you’re getting shitfaced with your friends. Whatever. That doesn’t sound like a tip from a professional chef. It sounds like a page from Sandra Lee’s memoirs.
After Aria’s presentation, Bob Tuschman commented that she wasn’t as energetic or annoying this week. “I’d rather have this than that fake dentist’s smile of hers,” he said. Giada, do you have any comment?
Ohhhhhh, the irony of it all.
For the next challenge, the finalists had to reinvent classic dishes with a modern twist. And for some reason, they had to cook and serve the dish at Frank Sinatra’s old house in Palm Springs. Yes, it was as boring as it sounds. Just LOOK how much fun the judges were having while the finalists were cooking! I wish I was at THAT party!
Aria was not a hit with the judges. She reinterpreted “pigs in a blanket” by making… FRIED SHRIMP. Sorry, honey. Total fail. Not even close.
Brianna’s dish was just as bad, if not worse. She used crab meat, noodles, and Brie cheese in her modern day take on tuna casserole, and the whole thing just looked really disgusting.
Tom, on the other hand, would not shut up during his presentation to the judges. He went on and on about how his grandmother was a fan of Sinatra’s, and how she played his records, and blah blah blah. The only interesting moment came at the end of his speech, when he nervously said “I JUST LIKE TO PLAY WITH MYSELF!” Oh I bet you do, Tom. I bet you do. And judging by Ted Allen’s nervous giggle after you said that, I think he might like to join you. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” -Seinfeld
Meanwhile, while Aarti was cooking and feeling sorry for herself, she randomly declared: “I’m not focused on winning as much as I am on surviving. I’d like to get lucky tonight!” She then ran off to find the only flower in Palm Springs that was BIGGER THAN HER FUCKING HEAD.
After the dishes had been tasted and the judges had sufficiently bored us with their repetitive commentary, Brad was named the winner of the challenge. Aarti, Herb, and Brianna were the bottom performers. In the end, BRIANNA WAS ELIMINATED. Sorry, Brianna, but you’ve earned yourself a spot in the…
And that brought this week’s episode to an end! What did you think of the show, FNH? Was the right person eliminated?
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 8 Recap (8/1/2010)---Next Food Network Star: Episode 5 Recap (7/11/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 7 Recap (7/25/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 4 Recap (6/27/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 2 Recap (6/13/2010)
- Next Food Network Star
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171 Responses
I agree one the hypocrisy of Giada in the camera challenge. I loved it when Bobby said that Brianna’s “wasn’t believable” knowing full well that the newest episode of “Giada at Home” that aired 24 hours ago featured a PAINTING PARTY.
Is that the one where she gave a WHOLE giant pound-cake PER CHILD? To decorate with SUGAR-BUTTER mixed with FOOD COLORING? Way to promote healthy eating habits, Giada! Jade will totally never get type-2 diabetes and/or childhood obesity.
I’d imagine that if Jade IS ever afflicted with childhood obesity, Giada’ll have that fat lipo’d out before the girl hits 1st grade.
I LOVE reading you’re recaps! I’ve never laughed so hard over an internet post in my life.
In other news, I don’t think Brianna should of gone home. She has been better than Herb BY FAR!
Agreed. I was shocked by last night’s elimination. Yes, Brianna had a REALLY BAD WEEK… But OTOH so did Aarti, but they (OBVIOUSLY!) let her slide by. And yes, I’ll be shocked again if Herb is NOT eliminated next week. At least the other five can cook…
ummm…I dunno. I still cannot get over Serena’s consistently – extremely strange and very unappealing offerings. From the mozarrella en carozza (ungrilled, unbuttered, and accompanied by what looked like rancid 1000-island dressing) to last night’s store-bought, undercooked puff pastry. I just do not get most of these chefs, but Serena never fails to amaze. ‘Course she’s perky and cute…there is that…my money’s on Brad, only because the competition is so very dismal. I think Brianna had to go because it was painfully obvious that, regardless of her talents as a chef, she simply alienated way too many people. Including those people whom Food Network is trying to reel in as regular viewers. I didn’t see her as a draw for the (small, I’d think) male market…and I think she’d truly piss off just about every female viewer out there – with her superior and condescending air (I particularly enjoyed her repeated drawling references to her having trained in France. So WHAT??? – as well as the fact that she, quite mysteriously, thought she was the hottest creature on two fat pegs. WHAAAA????) Ordering Serena out of the kitchen last week, not once but 2 or 3 times, was just no fun. At all. Good riddance to fat rubbish.
Yes , I agree that Brianna is a better chef than Herb, but she is a spoiled _____ brat and thinks she is a lot hotter than she is. Personality does matter. Herb has a better personality and is not full of himself.
great recap Jill. But I am shocked you got thought it without mentioning Brianna’s outfit at judging? Was she going to a dance club after getting eliminated?
Oh I totally dropped the ball there. It was HIDEOUS. I have the screencaps and I’ll add them tomorrow.
Was it an Ol’ Putter handmedown?
How do you screen cap by the way? Do you run your cable feed through your computer, or are you hacking your DVR drive?
There’s no shame in moving up a size, either. Rule of thumb: if you can see the outline of your belly button through your dress, it’s too small.
lol, i totally noticed that, and also you could see her butt crack!! it was horrible. Don’t they have a wardrobe consultant that at a minimum gives them advice? they should!!!
I agree… dress was way tacky.
Brianna dress tacky? Please!!!! That was from the “Ghetto Skanks” collection she had matching shoes for that monstrosity! On the happy side….Ding, dong the Bitch is gone and I’m so delighted!!!!
The fun part is how the judges kept referring to her as “classy” and “sophisticated.” Wh..wh…wh…WHAT?? I’ve seen sausages packed into looser skins than what she usually tries to pass off as a dress.
Oh, c’mon…you don’t think her dress was “SUPER FLY?” Good God, I am so glad she is gone! Now she’ll have all the time in the world to hang out with her Besties! GAG!
That always cracked me up too–Brianna as some sort of standard of class. She wore skin tight leopard leggings at one point, for god’s sake! And the cleavage!
ITA!! That wasn’t the first time they referred to Brianna as being the quintessence of class…and I think the lovely Ted Allen said something like “You don’t LOOK like tuna noodle casserole” in response to her hifalutin’ proclamation that it was waaay beneath her and that the gunk had never sullied her lips…frankly, the bod she squeezes into those neoprene gowns looks as though it’s been packed with noodles & cream of mushroom soup daily since kindergarten.
OMG! Brianna in the TYFC bowl is too good! Off to the compost pile!
right next to Rachael’s garbage bowl!
I love these recaps and how fast they come out (although I checked coule times cuz I couldn’t wait). I don’t love Brianna, but Herb could have left weeks ago as far as I’m concerned. I’m glad Brad won, and I’d like to see him rethink the cap.
Great recap! I think Aarti’s Party should’ve been eliminated, but since they aready announced her the winner, they couldn’t do that. (They only time they’ve had to bring back someone that was eliminated was when they found out “Jag” lied on his application and was disqualified. Yes, that is what they should do. Eliminate Aarti to fool all of us, then find a way to bring her back in the last episode and give her a show)
HOW ABOUT A SPOILER ALERT?!?!
omg thanks a lot for ruining it wtf!
No one knows for A FACT that she won. It’s just a theory based on something seen on Food Network’s website.
oh, for god’s sake. This is a HUMOR site. Hasn’t it occurred to you that Jillian could just as easily be joking, and that actually it was Giada who was eliminated???? Since the two of you clearly didn’t watch it last night, and since you didn’t want the ending ruined, did it never occur to you to just…ummm…not visit this site until you HAD? Seen it? Or the food network site? Or…lessee…just about any website that offers up recaps of previous nights’ shows? I never get you people who visit recap sites and then complain about what you read in the recaps.
Henrietta, I believe they are complaining that he spoiled the overall outcome, not the results of this week’s show.
I’m responding to Sally Elizabeth. The Jag situation was, as you said, handled completely wrong, IMO. The problem was with FN not checking his ‘resume’ before letting him on the show in the first place. It was disgraceful. But when that whole situation hit them in the face, the winner should’ve been Rory, not Amy. I have to differ with you. Amy was a trainwreck. She lived on/in a commune for goodness sake, she wasn’t an urban-dwelling, bike riding french-y. She was, as I remember, a complete flake. One dish that comes to mind was aspargus wrapped in packaged lunch-meat ham (it was square) with a white sauce over it. She swung her knife around when she talked and was annoying to watch. I must’ve written 10 letters to Tuschman, and I must not have been the only one because the news accounts I read about her were that the ‘blogs’ were ‘so mean’ to her that she had to go. She had about as much talent (in my humble estimation) as Melissa D’arabian has, zip! Tuschman has an attraction to accessible, warm-personality home-cooks (Amy, Melissa, and now Aarti, not appealing to me.
In response to Oh come on: while we had different reactions to Amy, I think your take on it actually supports my belief that FN may not have wanted to continue with her. (And she would have been on thin ice to begin with considering they had originally eliminated her. I think her show would have had to have been a hit from day one for them to want to sign her up long term.) I must not have seen all of the FNS episodes that season because I’m not remembering the asparagus/packaged lunch-meat concoction (which does indeed sound truly dreadful), but I just know she appealed to me (Tuschman and I must have something in common–scary). I’ll say again that I don’t claim to know what happened, I just had a feeling that whether or not you liked her, Amy did seem kind of driven and ambitious (or maybe I was just taking her manic energy that way), and I don’t think unkind blogs would have been enough to send her running to the hills. (I had forgotten her saying anything about that–but it’s coming back to me now!) We definitely see things differently, I just thought it was worth replying to you since I feel like what you’re saying is actually in line with FN not wanting her, and also in line with her not wanting to admit the real reason she’s gone. I’m coming around to your dislike of her though–hope to heck she’s not reading these deeply disturbing comments!
@scott sloan – could you elaborate on the Jag thing? I’ve not heard of it and it sounds pretty interesting. (I thought I’d seen all the seasons of this dumb show but I managed to miss him…)
Jag was from Season 3 (which was the first season of this show I actually watched). Jag and another contestant, Rory were the two finalists. If I remember correctly there was a 2 or 3 month gap between choosing the two finalists and the final competition. During this time gap, the Food Network found out that Jag pulled a Robert Irvine…exaggerated not only his culinary experience and training, but his military service…which was something he kept bringing up during the season. I think it turned out that he didn’t serve in the military as long as claimed to and may have exaggerated his rank? Anyhow, so after this came to light, he was more or less forced to withdraw from the competition and the previously booted contestant, Amy Findley, was brought back to compete with Rory and Amy won.
To add insult to injury, after Amy won, she filmed 6 episodes of her cooking show and quit. Amy whined about how she “couldn’t deal with the stress and being away from her family”. WTF? Bitch had the golden ring and she threw it away! Rory got hosed. She competed against a liar and a quitter and still lost! If they gave Amy the dropout a second chance, then Bob Tushlicker and Susie Sugartits should have handed over Amy’s show to Rory.
@snowflake & fury – thanks for the info! I spent 10 seconds searching for Jag and found nothing, which shouldn’t surprise me…anyway, it certainly sounds as though I missed a groaner of a season. And I was wrong about having seen all the seasons…just learned today that Mr. Fieri is a former winner and I guess I didn’t know the show existed. My God!!! No wonder. BUT (and I never thought I’d say this…) compared to this season’s sorry crop…I dunnnnnnnnooooooo….
Fury, we don’t know for sure that Amy actually quit. Her “official” story about leaving so she could move to France might have been part of her spin after her show didn’t get picked up, for all we know. (She really did move to France, at least temporarily, but that move may have been precipitated by the FN not wanting to continue with her.) I believe the winner is guaranteed only 4 episodes or something–maybe 6. There’s no guarantee of anything beyond that. I liked Amy, but she had her critics, and she may not have gotten the audience FN needed to continue with her. Especially when they start these “stars” out at ridiculous times like noon on Sunday. You don’t necessarily get much of a following at that hour. I don’t know how many episodes Melissa and Aaron have gotten, but I watch the FN a lot and I rarely see any evidence of them at all (I certainly have no idea when or even if they still have shows on the air). I’m just saying, I really didn’t get the feeling Amy was a quitter. They might not have been offering her anything more (yes, I know she said they did, but like I said, that might have been part of a positive spin on the situation). And as for FN’s willingness to go along with that, there’s no greater example of sugarcoating a situation than how they (and Susie in particular) dealt with JAG. They never should have had him back on to “tell his side of the story.” He lied about serving in Afghanistan in wartime. He actually lied to soldiers during an episode of NFNS taped at Fort Dix!!!! He even got teary-eyed when he told them about everything he went through in the military (during what turned out to be his eight-month stint, all of which was stateside, I believe, but definitely none of which was in harm’s way)!!!! and how being there at Fort Dix, and smelling the gun-cleaning fluid, brought it all back to him. FN should have fired him, but they let “resign.” Disgraceful. There was Susie practically crying right along with him, telling him what a good man he was. Anyway, if they would go that far for him (and for Robert Irvine, while we’re on the subject), they probably wouldn’t have a problem letting Amy say whatever she wanted to say about her stint there. I don’t know what happened, I just never had the impression that Amy wouldn’t have wanted to continue if given the opportunity.
Regarding Brianna’s outfit: She kept the labels on so she could take the dress back? They didn’t look too glamorous on a sheer back!
What’s wrong with XXX Porn Night? =P
Nothing, but I don’t think you’re gonna win with a meal consisting of Leinie’s and quesadillas.
Does anyone besides me think that Brad looks like a mix of Justin Timberlake and Rob Pattinson?
YES!! I call him JT while watching the show…
I still hold by Iker Cassilas.
timberlake definitely – not so sure about the pattinson. Maybe if he took the hat off i could get a better look.
No he’s a dead ringer for Spike Mendelssohn from Top Chef a couple of seasons ago, even down to the stupid hat fetish.
Yes!!! When I watched the first 10 minutes of the first episode of this season, I totally thought Spike was a contestant and had a WTF moment, until they introduced the guy as Brad.
I can see that…I think spike has a bit more snarkiness to him, though. His face is a bit more feral or something. Sort of rodenty…or ratlike? One of those.
The difference is spike was a tool, while brad seems all around likeable
Spike was judging on Top Chef week before last, with his hat of course. Get real dude, it’s not appealing. I don’t like Brad, his ‘shyness’ is off putting, I think he lacks talent and his hat is silly. He looks like Oliver, holding his bowl out in the orphanage…’more, may I have more please’? No telling who they’ll pick but out of this bunch it seems it’ll be the LEAST of the worse. Some choice, huh?
Very pleased Brianna is gone, though others were certainly deserving of the boot as well.
Very, very, very tired of hearing those two dreaded words, “Aarti Party”. I wish one of the judges would call her on her overuse of that, but I don’t imagine it will ever happen.
That is her “culinary point of view”…it is here to stay. Brianna is annoying in a fun, love to hate way. Herb was just annoying.
I agree but I wonder if the contestants are prompted to say their show catch phrases
Oh, that episode was rather lulzy.
I found that challenge to be pretty silly all around. And when Brianna made a comment on “Getting drunk during a children’s party”, I was so hoping you’d comment on it. Tom and Brad at this point are the only one’s I’m okay with.
I think “Aarti’s Party” is gonna be the new “I’m Korean.” >_>
That thing at Frank Sintara’s place…NOT EVEN A PARTY, IT WAS JUST THE JUDGES! That’s not a party. And on another note, did people in the 50s really eat a Lobster dish like that? It felt very out of place…along with chicken cordon blue. >_> Not exactly in the “comfort, traditional” section. Glad Brianna was gone, but was expecting Herb more than anything.
Great blog as usual.
Small Edit Jillian: “She made chorizo taquitos with spicy sausage… for a 5 year old’s birthday party.” Chorizo IS the spicy sausage, I think she had to use carrots and some other weird stuff…
right. carrots and yellow mustard.
Ding dong, the witch is gone! :D
I didn’t see the episode (hell, ever since FN dropped the ball with announcing the winner, I haven’t bothered to) so finding out that Brianna’s gone made my night.
Oh God… funniest recap yet. Still laughing.
I haven’t seen the episode yet, as we just got home, but I can’t wait to see the disaster. And I’m SO glad Brianna is gone.
Oh, the porn basket!! That image will keep a smile on my face for days! ^^
hahahahahhaa thank you for coming bowl I love it!!!
Its amazing how much Food Network attempts to make this show more like Top Chef, but fails at every angle.
Don’t forget their new show that’s totally a rip of Top Chef’s Restaurant Wars.
Yes! And the fact that NFNS started calling it a “stew room” last night…blatant rip-off!!!
I am so glad she is gone, We did not need another Neely on FN talking about how hot she is,
she was somewhat cute, but far from hot. She had a bulging stomach, and her butt was not far behind. She could have looked attractive, had she known how to dress herself.
The Giada irony is so blatant, it almost hurts. I recently saw an episode where she was always showing that stupid dentist grin of hers to the camera and bursting out in random sing-song every once and a while. Giada, you’re rolling cookies in sugar, not auditioning for a musical.
You are so right, she looks ready for The Sound of Music!
yikes! egad bobble head bratz singing at her food gets on my last fugging nerve.
aaaaahhhh me too, and the dancing in delight sends me of the edge….it’s pasta Giada, come ON!
LMAO…I just got a good look at the stuff in Aria’s basket! I need to have my coffee before I read the recaps.
Good point about the new Cooking Channel being a repository for stale FN has-beens and a place where old shows go to die. (Welcome in, Melissa D’Arabian, and take a pot holder!) However, it should be noted that it also puts Julia Child on the air every weekday. Redemption of sorts.
I thought it was weird that the Cooking Channel’s slogan is “Stay hungry.” Wouldn’t something like “Satisfy your appetite” be more appropriate? Then again, after watching some of the shows like Foodcrafters and Drink Up, maybe they know what they’re talking about.
I don’t mind the Cooking Channel. True, some shows have a little dust on them, but There’s No Paula Deen! I watched a program with Aaron Sanchez from 2001 — how did he NOT get a show???? And they have a couple cooks who do Indian food, so maybe Aarti isn’t headed there.
What happened to the After Party show on the Cooking Channel that was supposed to follow TNFNS????
Anyhoo, I was totally thrown that Brianna left before Herb. Not that I like one more than the other, but really? I thought the judges liked her crab-cassa-crap. And pigs-in-a-blanket —- is that pancakes with breakfast sausage, or hot dogs in cressant rolls? I’m pretty certain it isn’t breaded shrimp. I headed towards not carring who wins, just get it over already.
While Brianna’s personality may not have been what they were looking for, the judges agreed that her food tasted good, unlike Serena who cannot even bake store bought puff pastry. How the hell do you get the easiest thing to make, fuck it up and still get to stay on? Oh sorry, she is Italian like Ms. Teeth. Give me a freaking break already.
And Herb, herb, who is as boring as his name sounds. Every week he is in the bottom, yet he gets to stay. I guess Bobby Chile Flay is waiting to see how many ways he can put chiles in his dishes. And enough of the woe is me drama from him. I grew up in the West Indies eating fattening foods and I have learnt how to downsize those dishes and make them less fatty yet still tasty. Deal with it, you idiot.
I am sick and tired of Aarti, Aria and all the rest of them. They all look and sound like a bunch of ass holes. These people are professional chefs. I would not hire them to cater a funeral.
As to the challenge where they gave Brianna spicy sausages and then told her to cater a 5 year old birthday party. They set that girl up to fail. I would drink champagne with my friends as well if that is what a reality show gave me to prepare and told me I had 30 minutes in which to do it. Assholes. Back to PBS for me on Sundays. I have had enough of this total farce of a show and I am getting sick and tired of seeing the selection committee with their smug nasty faces, especially Susie and Bob. Ugh
Now tell us how you really feel.
@Robin, you really made me laugh! Looks like it’s a case of Monday blues!
Why are you so bitter? it looks like you really do not enjoy this show so why bother and then write this snarky comments? I found yesterday’s show boring as heck and I really enjoy the recaps. I do not think they set up Brianna to fail, it was a challenge like for everyone else, but she is so self assorbed that she thought everything was going against her. Someone should grow up and get a reality check.
Snarky comments are the raison d’être of this site, more or less. That aside, you’re right in that they didn’t set Brianna up to fail. That sausage choice was hers alone. She changed the task from “feed kids” to “feed the moms”. The items in her basket were basically kid-friendly. Maybe Brianna doesn’t know how to relate to kids real well, if at all. Brianna’s failure was one of her own design.
“As to the challenge where they gave Brianna spicy sausages and then told her to cater a 5 year old birthday party.”
I thought her basket had baby carrots, apple juice and mustard? Was I watching something else?
Brianna the porn star needed to go. In fact, the judges should have eliminated Serena and Herb along with her to shorten this crapfest. Worst season ever.
check out the biceps on susie! bejeebus, she could crush tushie’s pointy little head in her armpit!
LOL! You’re right! I’m relatively new to the food network, I guess…and had no idea that he is actually shorter than giada! (Is it an optical illusion or is she about 4’7″? Or 5’1″ in her FM pumps?)
I guess Giada wears higher heels than Susie.
The Seven Dwarfs–CLASSIC!
Whatcha gonna do next week with 6 “chefs”? 6 degrees of desparation?
Umm, make that “desperation”
Thank you very much. Damn Mondays.
@Ina – I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but I absolutely aDORE your screen name. Veddy clever.
thanks henrietta :)
Keeping it light and some what on the subject, the show was just as disastrous as it has been from the beginning,but Brad, looked adorable last night and he was so sexy and charming,at the Sinatra party. I think he gave Tushy and Allen wood! Did you see the jealous look on Flays face? That was priceless! I was thinking he could possibly win this thing, but I know better. It’s “Aarti Potty” Right? By the way,did anyone catch the “Behind the Party” review show with Tushy and Soosie and I saw that Sunny was there too (I don’t know WTF for)I don’t have Cooking Channel I just wanted to know if this is another attempt to boost ratings,because these comment are the most entertaining thing about TNFNS that’s just my opinion.
I caught a little of “Behind the Party” on Cooking Channel after the Brianna boot. It’s Adam Gertler, Sunny Anderson and the little blonde cooking school contestant from Adam’s season of NFNS (who they announced was getting her own show on the Cooking Channel!!)
So, they drank cocktails, discussed the evening’s NFNS and TUSHIE came on to chat with them!
Seriously, next week you gotta check out this hot mess on the CC right after NFNS. Words can’t describe.
I don’t get the cooking channel so I can’t even watch it. But I wonder how long it will be until they invite me on the show! I can only imagine how much they love me!
I was thinking of you while watching it, it was almost as though it was scripted to be ripped apart on here! Tushie talked about how bad he feels when throwing contestants off the show and that he and Bobby and Susie fight often about who to boot. In an upcoming episode (he didn’t say which one), they had a 4 hour brawl (deliberation), called the contestants in at 3 am to toss one off and Susie is bawling her head off. I can’t wait for that one!! So you have a head’s up.
Hmm I’m surpised they really do deliberate that long over who to boot. I always figured they knew, but just made the constestants return to the waiting room just to torture them and of course make all us viewers wait until the very last second of the show.
Dang! I live in the Mountain Time Zone, and even though it was listed on the DirectTv on-screen menu, they played some goof ball show instead. What’s up with that???????
Double dang! We are in the Pacific Time zone and also got the goofball whatever inspite of DirectTV listing. Any others in the same boat?
They’re giving whats-her-name a show? Wasn’t she eliminated for not having a freaking clue how to cook?
Yup. Kelsey Nixon. “One time, when I was in cooking school…” That one. Own show. Apparently, even when you lose, you can still win.
Actually, I’m not at all surprised they’re giving this gal a show. She was numbingly boring and so irritatingly chipper, but again…I have to say – compare her to this season? She’s all over them with no problem at all. Even WITH her constant references to “when I was in cooking school”. She had the on-air commentary thing down…no problems with filling the time or yammering too rapidly – which as well all now know is the ONLY thing they’re looking for. Screw the cooking – just know how to talk without a stammer, lock eyes with the camera, and do SOMEthing with a pan and a spoon…and you’re signed.
I’m fairly certain Herb is bipolar… l
I TOTALLY agree! And every time he knows he fucks up, he brings up his “horrible” childhood for lots of undeserved pity And how come no one noticed that last week during Aarti’s demo she said, “Hi I’m Aarti, and welcome to my Aarti party!” Is there some sort of a party called an “Aarti party”? I wasn’t aware!
That is a very good way of saving his muscular ass – bring up the troubled childhood and the stories of the fat loser and they will keep you on the show!
This week’s celebrity guest chef – Bobby Flay! Seriously, he’s been on the show so little that he may as well be just another guest.
At least Aarti’s flower wasn’t in her hair this time.
And did you guys catch the ad for the wrapup after-show on Cooking Channel? Now they’re cross-branding to try to get anyone to watch that dumb thing.
You’re right on when you say they’re trying to cross-brand to get anyone to watch it … the shows, so far, have been far too pretentious. There’s no yin/yang – it’s all hi falutin’, all the time.
In other words, I need to balance my Ina and Michael with Paula and Rachael.
they need to make it available on basic cable, like FN. I refuse to pay for more channels just to get Cooking Channel.
Oh nice, I haven’t watched this week’s show yet but I did predict last week that either Brianna or Serena would be next to go. Looks like Brianna idolizes Beyonce, but she can’t quite pull off those outfits.
But the poster child Aarti was in the bottom huh? And boring Brad wins? Shocking.
I don’t dig on reality shows, and I’m fairly certain that these recaps are a far better use of my time anyway.
Well done, J.
Ok..now I’m pissed, because I’ve been put into the awkward position, of defending a stupid, untalented TNFNS contestant, and it makes me angry…..BUT…..if spicy chorizo sausage was included in the ingredient basket for a 5 year olds birthday party, what the hell else was she supposed to do with it exactly?? That sure sounds like a set-up for failure to me! Isn’t that the same as being given an ingredient basket with limburger cheese, and being condemned for your dish tasting like limburger cheese? The poster is actually raising a valid, though totally humorless point!
Wrong, Rich. Brianna’s mystery basket ingredients were apple juice, yellow mustard, and carrots. She used the chorizo on her own.
OOHHHH…then she’s just an asshole! I stand (actually sit) corrected Jillian!
“Jillian” is actually what I wanted to name my daughter because it’s so pretty, and feminine!
That was the most intelligent post I’ve ever read Rich….keep it up!!
ok I admit it…I’m 86thebling too, and I wrote that post complimenting myself. I’m so ashamed
I agree. She would have been better off with vodka, at least you can burn off the alcohol. But that dress. All I could think of was she looked like a stuffed eggplant.
Alcohol would have been even worse! It doesn’t all burn off (just ask Alton Brown). That would have just turned out like the episode of Top Chef where one of the contestants served sherry chicken to a bunch of school children.
Don’t forget all she did was bitch and moan about tuna casserole too after deciding chorizo was a good choice for the kiddies. She really should applied for Top Chef–her attitude and cooking ability without need to be personable on camera would’ve worked alot better.
What disgusted me more than anything was the shot of Brianna LICKING HER FINGERS while preparing her dish.
I felt exactly the same way until I saw that blue dress. OMG I almost choked on my beer.
Ditto. I certainly hoped she washed her hands after that (and didn’t merely wipe them on a cloth), but it would not particularly surprise me if she didn’t.
Yeah, after all this was the same woman who cooked all the time with her long hair down.
The minute Serena started baking her pre-made pastry, I knew the selection committee was going to call her on it. Meanwhile, the part that completely fucking boggles my mind is that these selection committee idiots allow Sandra Lee to run around representing their precious network, and I think we can all agree that Aunt Sandy has committed far more heinous crimes than simply baking frozen pastry. Things like that are out of the same Crazy Basket as, “We don’t like Aria’s giant smile… Giada, you agree don’t you? Fabulous.” The hypocrisy is astounding.
Brad is still my favorite.
No kidding on the puff pastry comment. That’s a really good point. I agree that Brad is the best. But only because he’s the only one I want to have a beer with.
So true!!
IMHO there are worse crimes on the FN that baking store bought puff pastry, many perpetrated by some of their stars! On the other hand I find it boring that Aarti always ends up cooking curry and wins (or survives) another challenge. For all the cheap look and the bad attitude, Brianna has diversified her dishes, and for all her thick accent Serena has sold family stories and decent, if inconsistent food. I am so tires of the humble pie guessing game.
I just saw Rachael Ray making a beef-wellington with store-bought pastry dough on 30-min Meals. Making puff pastry from scratch takes well over half an hour (it needs to rest for 30 minutes alone) and it’s a labor-intensive process. That said, Serena seemed to do a pretty terrible job of that Napoleon (type thing).
Also, good call, Caroline. Aarti make curry for every other challenge. She doesn’t even have a show (yet?) and I’m already bored with her food.
All the FN chefs/cooks use frozen puff pastry — even Ina! On one of her shows she said almost verbatim — I am using frozen puff pastry which is just fine b/c making your own can be labor intensive and time consuming.
Also, I can’t remember which contestant it was, but I believe it was the food truck challenge and Bobby kept commenting he couldn’t understand why so and so didn’t make his own Giardiniera. With the time constraints posed, I don’t think there would have been sufficient time to make a decent Giardiniera.
I can see it now… Your next challenge is to prepare Pot-au-Feu and you have one hour to do it!
I thought the problem wasn’t so much that she used store bought puff pastry, but that she couldn’t even properly bake THAT.
And Aarti should stop calling all her stuff “curry”–that’s not what Indians call every dish. Differentiate your dishes by calling them kormas or something-masala.
The problem was exactly that, Serena didn’t thaw out the puff pastry and bake it properly. The problem was not that she used puff pastry.
The whole puff pastry deal was pretty stupid all around. Pretty dumb to buy a frozen product and not allowing enough time to thaw it. Really dumb of the judges to ask if it was frozen knowing full well she wouldn’t have had enough time to make her own.
Aren’t korma and masala both curries? I could totally be wrong here, but I thought curry is a word that essentially just means gravy (or Indian, gravy-ish equivalent).
@katie, you’re right, “curry” is just a generic name that means “stew” or “gravy”. Aarti would at least sound less one-note if she used some more imaginative names, I think.
But your point is well-taken…the concept and taste are still the same. She could do a chaat spiced something, or a tandoori, just to get away from the every-dish-looks-the-same vibe you can sometimes get at an Indian buffet. There’s more to Indian cooking than stewed stuff.
I am going to rewatch it tonight if the air it again but I think that while she was cooking Serena was upset because the puff pastry was not defrosted. In the final shot it looked cooked properly and brown. The last episode was deeply boring to me, what with Aarty always commiserating while she has been on TV since the age of 18 (see her bio), Aria and her shrimp, Herb and his healthy food gone astray, and “power wash me” Tom. Speaking of Tom, is it me or he is beating Serena at the Chatterbox game?
I actually watched the Cooking Channel recap too. Tushy was asked if the judges argue a lot about which contestant will get the boot. He said in one future episode they deliberated for FOUR HOURS and reached a decision at 3 AM….and that Susie was so distraught by the decision that she had Tushy do the booting duties at the last second. WTF? That piqued my curiosity as to who it was. Brad maybe? She has a thing for him.
Susie definatly wants to get in Brads pants.
I feel like Aria might make her cry, because she started out so strong (and I still like her, by the way, but I wish she’d called her last dish “Shrimp on a Blanket,” since the creme fraiche looked like one, or at least it looked like a sheet, yeah, “Shrimp on a Sheet”–very sexy for Frank’s house–oh, forget that, nobody wants a shrimp on a sheet; or she could have gone with “Shrimp in a Blanket,” with the shrimp actually sticking out of the coating at the ends, and then it would have been easier for these pea-headed judges to understand. I think her concept was fine, but she didn’t sell it well). But I digress . . .
Serena would make her cry too. And Herb. A changing traffic light would make Susie cry.
Aarti would definitely make her cry, but we know that can’t happen, right? I’m still not sold on this “revelation” about her win, though. I posted on another site to try to get clarification on that, but they never printed my comment. Someone on that site had said Aarti’s bio was included in the list of Food Network Stars, but when I looked (at the FN’s A-Z listing of FN personalities), all of the NFNS contestants were there, not just Aarti. I posted to ask if that’s where he had seen the supposedly premature information, and if when he saw it, Aarti was the only one, suggesting that the FN just added the others later to cover their tracks, but I never saw my post answered, and therefore never got an answer. But it seems like you know the story here, so what’s the scoop?
oops, I mean I never saw my comment posted, and therefore never got an answer.
Jill: As others have said, one of the funniest recaps ever! I started laughing out loud at the 7 Dwarves and didn’t stop after that. In fact, I’m still laughing and will probably do so for the rest of the day. One thing: Is Herb dealing to the judges? It’s so clear he’s on something because of all those wacko highs and woe-is-me lows, but after last night, I’m thinkin’ he’s sharin’ with the judges, too. Why else would Mantush keep saying “I really see Herb as a TV personality” or Soosee practically licking her lips everytime his name is mentioned? “Herrrrbbbb…. mmmmm….” And as for Flay, the only thing he ever does is agreed with them cuz they is payin’ him, so… what do we think it is? Meth? Coke? Magic Mushrooms? All of the above?
I was insanely happy when they gave Brianna the boot, she’s rubbed me the wrong way since episode 1. Now they just need to get rid of Herb.
As for Tom loving to play with himself — I’m fairly confident a half-an-hour of that is the most entertaining show this batch of contestants is going to provide. I’d watch, anything beats Cupcake Wars.
“As for Tom loving to play with himself — I’m fairly confident a half-an-hour of that is the most entertaining show this batch of contestants is going to provide.”
So I’m not the only one strangely attracted to him? ;-)
I think he’s cute in a “loveable schlub” sort of way. He’d be cuter if he got rid of the Seth Rogen jewfro and dressed a bit nicer.
I really want Herb to leave. He treats the show like a giant therapy session.
Herb has been annoying from day one. If he’s not pitifully moaning over being fat when he was a little kid, he’s bouncing off the walls like he just downed a couple handfuls of Puppy Uppers. I think his remaining time on the show is short. In fact, I pick him or Aria to get the boot next week.
Great recap as usual, Jillian! I agree with the other posters, Herb needs to go. He’s the most inconsistent and annoying contestant on the show.
Herb totally fucked up! He should have made Stroganoff Empanadas…instead of noodles, there is a rich, flaky crust, filled with tender chunks of beef in a creamy mushroom and cream fraiche sauce. It’s a modern remake that’s true to his hispanic roots.
He is a looser and I
What I was going to say before my fingers hit the submit is ..I think Herb is a loser and they are afraid that he will go postal if they get rid of him…or they are sadistic and like watching him screw up week after week..
Herb’s pity party is as annoying as Aarty’s. I bet they are keeping them only because they like an underdog.
Brianna’s ass looked GIGANTIC.
lol
Hey did you know Aarti is Indian?
Really? And is Debbie Lee Korean?
… and Serena is Italian from EEEEtaly?
And Brad is a professional chef?
And Doreen has a culinary point-of-view?
Once again I keep missing this show, I dont remember about it until I come on here. Hilarious posts as usual! Jill your sense of humor rocks!
Brianna is hot. For whatever its worth, I will miss looking at her.
Catch her in reruns. You never know, she might show up in one of Flay’s or Aunt Sandy’s shows!Hee Hee Yuck!
Oh. Gag. Me. This’ll learn me to not read my fave site while trying to down dinner. If you miss ogling Brianna, i’m sure you can find an episode of Unwrapped that spends 30 minutes at a sausage-packing plant…
OK, I admit it. I got it wrong this week! Of course Brianna had her issues, but I didn’t suspect she’d choke so hard last night that the judges would actually toss her out.
So with that taken into consideration, here are my new odds, Vegas style, on NFNS:
Aarti +175 : Admit it. She also choked this week… But the judges decided to give her a Heimlich and keep her around. There’s no denying she’s still the frontrunner, even with this week’s hot mess of a “devilish egg”, but her star has dimmed a bit…
Brad +225: And if Brad can be more consistent in his cooking and more personable in his presentation (as he was last night), he might just snatch this contest away from Aarti. When he loosens up, he’s pretty good in front of the camera. Again, he just needs to ditch the “robo-chef ‘tube” and deliver good food consistently.
Tom +225: He wasn’t at his best this week, but like Aarti, the judges also cut Tom some slack. And at least his food was pretty good this week. If he can just keep it together, he’ll probably make it to the finals.
Aria +325: She needed a comeback. Aria REALLY needed a comeback last night! But no, she couldn’t get it. The shrimp looked good and her presentation wasn’t as annoying, but it still wasn’t the home run needed to put her back in the top. If she can’t get her groove back next week, Aria may not even make the finals.
Serena +325: Well, that was short lived. For a moment last week, I was wondering if Serena could finally escape Mama Giada’s shadow and become a frontrunner. But this week, she clearly stumbled. And for someone who’s been running as “the real Italian cook”, it doesn’t help to use all that store bought crap. (Maybe the judges now realize they can’t afford any more Aunt Sandys?)
Herb +500: The judges keep giving him lifelines, but Herb keeps pulling them away from them and drowning further. Honestly, how much longer does this have to last? As I said upthread, I’ll be horrified if the judges keep him yet another week!
Brianna, I feel, probably made better food than several of those remaining, but I also agree that she was never going to be able to be the marketable personality that FN wanted. She’s too introverted, I feel, to really be a star, or at the very least would not be able to turn off the bitchface long enough to be marketable.
Herb continues to circle the drain, but he is inconsistently bad, thus creating just enough magic to counterbalance it and stay in a little longer. Sixth place, unless Serena screws up badly enough next time to save him.
Serena… you know, she’s okay, and I like her, but I think her culinary expertise is not as good as some of her competitors, she’s been a little less consistent in terms of food quality, and I still have a hard time understanding her when she presents. Outlasts the cannon fodder but will not make it to the end with the true contenders, which is as it should be.
Aria is kind of competently bland. She can talk in front of a camera without screwing up, she hasn’t made too many missteps in terms of her food aside from making some things overly simple… it’s as though Aria might skate through to the end not by excelling but by consistently not making mistakes. She will probably make the final if any of the other three contenders screw up.
Tom came out of nowhere. He has the personality (but I still haven’t seen any distinctive culinary POV from him) and I don’t know that his food has been overly memorable. He can make it to the end on his personality but I’m not sure if the food will back that up. Wild card for the end.
Brad, if he can continue to not look like in a deer in headlights whenever a camera comes on, has probably the best chance to unseat Aarti to win. Truthfully, I think that his being blandly smarmy (and the fact that his food doesn’t always live up to his “Pro” moniker) will probably cost him the ultimate title but he’ll almost certaily make it to the final, probably as the runner-up.
Aarti can only be beaten by Aarti. Distinctive POV, consistently good food with only a few missteps, endearing. However, she can derail herself through self=doubt and choke in the end, especially if Brad and Tom finish strong and Aria doesn’t go down without a fight.
Hmmm, I guess you and I are on similar wavelengths. Aarti still looks like the favorite here, but clearly this week proved that there’s an opening for a new frontrunner should he or she offer something better. Clearly, Herb is looking more and more like a goner each week. Aria and Serena, meanwhile, are hanging on by a thread and need top turn up “the WOW factor!” with their food and presentation to climb back to the top.
So this leaves us with Brad and Tom. Both are professional chefs who seem to have the chops, but Brad has been inconsistent and Tom has only started to break out in the last two episodes. Brad can sometimes suffer from “Robo-chef Syndrome”, while Tom can seem a little scatter-brained and disheveled at times.
So now the question, “Who can beat Aarti?” And at this point, you’re probably right… She can still beat herself. And if next week is a repeat of this week’s disaster, maybe it’s more possible than any of us had previously imagined.
Who cares about the contestants. Jillian dishes up the most delicious vitriol. I literally laughed my tushy off. Now I can have seconds. And I bow.
Awesome recap. Aarti was my favorite but her lack of self-confidence is starting to get grating. I still see her as the winner because she is unique and the only one with apparent cooking skills and the ability to speak for 45 seconds without stuttering like a dummy. Brad is pasty and boring. It’s impossible for me to understand what Serena says half the time. Aria is blah. Herb is lost. And I do now really like Tom, but funny will only get him so far. I see it coming down to Aarti and Tom with Aarti getting the win.
The irony of the “dentist’s smile” was priceless. Maybe Tushie has had it with Giada and that was his way of letting her know. I think it’s so funny when she talks to the contestants about being on camera, because when her show first came on the air, she NEVER smiled. She acted like doing her show was pure torture, so I guess the chefs don’t get a break for being new to this. The FN “Celebrity” chefs sure do have short memories, don’t they? Maybe if we’re lucky the Cooking Channel will unearth one of Giada’s early, early episodes so everyone can enjoy her “camera presence”. It’s worth a look!
I’m thinking the order of elimination will be Herb, Serena, Tom, Aria, Brad and Aarti wins. All pleasant enough people (now that Brianna is gone) but nothing exciting. At least last year Debbie-I’m-Korean was fun to hate until nearly the end.
Funny recap as always. I was wondering, has anyone else noticed that Booby Flay seems to set people up for elimination? Like last week’s episode Brianna got the Birthday Basket which seemed very ambiguous until Bobby said it was for a 5 year old. I don’t really know and I may be jumping to conclusions but the week Paul was booted, Bobby messed with his culinary P.O.V. Before Paul was DAS and it seems like he went home instead of Herb because he didn’t know that prime was the best cut. Just speculation and I might be wrong. :)
Did anyone else notice how completely ANNOYING and JERKISH Aria was being? She said something like “Aarti’s not doing well this week– I can win this.” Like she’s sitting with Aarti acting like she cares when really she’s just out to throw all of them under the bus… Shows how much I trust her. Sorry to tell her her shrimp looked like shit and she has a plastered-on personality that not even a class of kindergarteners would enjoy, so really, I don’t think she’s ANYWHERE close to winning. And how can the judges be ALWAYS on her side? Like in the “reinventing chef’s favorites” episode a few weeks back when DAS went home, Aria won her group quote “By default” according to Tushy. This stuff has got to stop. You can’t tell me they don’t want to see Aria’s face on food network billboards.
ITA! she has the fake smile but she has consistently backstabbed everyone in the commentary. And BTW Bobby gave her her POV and now she is running with it, but to me the shrimp should not fly. I am calling Herb to go next, Aria after him, Serena (they need to keep the eye candy for as long as possible otherwise the rates would drop) and the final 3 are Brad Tom and Aarty.
Oh yeah that’s right! So she can’t even find her own culinary point of view on her own. I think if Herb does terribly again he will, but if he does really well (which I kinda doubt) I think Serena will go because there’s no way Tushy and Susie would want to get rid of Aria. But my god how sweet it would be to just see Aria screw up and get her bags packing back to Wisconsin. haha!
Really funny commentary. OMG that pasta, crab and brie thing looks nauseating! Bleah. Quick get me the large bottle of kaopectate STAT!
LOL.
I’m so glad you included the “I just like to play with myself” comment from Tom.
We played that over and over again. Ted’s face/giggle was awesome! We laughed until we couldn’t breathe!
Aarti is this season’s Debbie Lee in terms of annoying show name(Aarti’s Party-Soul to Seoul) and being drooled over by Susie. However, while Debbie turned out to be an terrible person, at least Aarti seems nice, if a bit annoying herself.
I think Herb is going to become like Katie from last season. He is starting to make good food healthy (aka bland).
I think Aarti’s food is probably pretty good. And at least she’s not as deadly boring as the woman on the Cooking Channel who does the Indian food. I watched an episode of that, and she said, not once but twice in a half-hour show, that she was using a nonstick pan so that her ingredients would not stick. OHHHHHH, so THAT’S what they’re for!
I just discovered this site and spent the last couple of hours laughing Dzintra style. FUNNY!
Herb has a real problem with food. He has a real eating disorder.
He is determined to take the fun out of everything and make it “healthy”.
I hope he goes next.
I’m still Korean!
Jillian, I am so terribly, sorry I have not paid proper homage to you for this hilarious blog! Please forgive me!!!!!!? You are a comical genius. I have come to look forward to this blog every week. You have really made me laugh . Bless You!