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Tobacco Cupcake On “Cupcake Wars”
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I’ve seen some pretty disgusting looking stuff on the Food Network in my day (Rachael Ray’s rouladen, anyone?) but perhaps nothing has been as nasty or as vile as the TOBACCO CUPCAKE on last week’s episode of Cupcake Wars.
Duff Goldman was the guest judge on the episode, and the challenge was to create a cupcake in honor of his 100th episode of Ace Of Cakes. Jessica, a delusional competitor with an unhealthy love of Minnie Mouse headbands and blue nail polish from the clearance rack at Hot Topic, thought it would be a good idea to make Duff & crew tobacco cupcakes. So, she reached down in her bag, pulled out a handful of cigarettes, unraveled the paper, and proceeded to DUMP THE NICOTINE into a bowl of vanilla batter.
This was me watching:
Duff Goldman hated the cupcake and said it tasted “like a cigarette.” Well duh! No surprise there! But here’s where it got really ridiculous: Duff hated her frosting in the first round, and hated the puny music speakers she designed in the third round… AND YET THIS WOMAN WENT ON TO WIN. That’s right. The person Duff seemed to like the least… the woman who made him cigarette cupcakes which he hated… won the Ace Of Cakes challenge. Say what, Food Network?
I’m sorry. I don’t care if she went on to build an epic cupcake replica of his penis in the 3rd round. Someone who put nicotine straight from the ass end of a cigarette into a cupcake for a non-smoker should be stoned… not given a cash prize.
(And for the record, yes, I’m aware Thomas Keller infused tobacco and coffee into a foie gras custard for Anthony Bourdain once years ago…but I highly doubt Keller used tobacco from some store-bought Marlboros. And even if he DID, it’s Anthony Bourdain we’re talking about. He was a chain smoker with an admitted cocaine, heroin, and LSD addiction. He probably couldn’t tell if he was eating nicotine or horse balls.)
Food Network, you never cease to amaze me.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---The FNH Cupcake Wars Drinking Game---What’s In My Inbox: A Rant About Cupcake Wars
---Ace Of Cakes Kicks Off 8th Season With Scary Poster
---Neiman Marcus Selling A $25,000 Cupcake Car (Seriously)
---FNH Recap: Halloween Wars, Week 3
- General: Food Network
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94 Responses
wow. I heard about this, but did not realize she took it from the cigarette!! I don’t even think Aunt Sandy has the gaul to do that! That is totally and utterly wrong!
What is utterly wrong is the amount of makeup Duff is wearing.He’s got so much gunk on his eyelashes that he’s almost got Morse code printed on his cheeks & forehead.
And the eye shadow. Wow. I mean I guess it diverts the eyes from his inverted anvil soul patch, but c’mon dude. Stop listening to everyone else, get the hell away from the Food Network makeup artists, and get back to cooking.
As for Jessica, there’s two types of people I inherently distrust: those with orange perma-tans, and anyone who looks like they put on their nail polish with a beach towel. Seriously, what did you do, pour the nail polish on the ground and drag your nails across it? The stuff is up to your knuckles. Maybe that’s why she won, people got high off the paint chips.
WTF! Where to start? Duff hates cup cakes, so of course have him on a cup cake contest. She would have been better off decorating the cup cake with matches or cigarette lighters.
Was she channeling her inner Minnie Mouse or Kerry Vincent? Not to mention she looks like Dizintra…be afraid…be very afraid.
And gross, gross, gross! Just plain gross! FN producers must be into the brownies with the “special” tobacco.
Why didn’t she make special “herbal” cupcakes? DUH! ;)
LOL, her supplier was running late….or make bail.
This is grosser than when I saw my college roommate wipe his clean dishes dry with a pair of his dirty underwear – skidmarks and all!
GAWWWD! And I thought the Sea Weed Cupcakes a couple of weeks ago were gross!
Umm, er, uh, well, gee, uh, I mean, uh , *ahem*, gosh I, umm, *cough*, golly, oh my, …
#iamspeechless
Lol, she should have just smoked them half way down and just stubbed them out on top of the cupcake for ashtray frosting.
Good. I’m glad this received proper treatment. It aggravated me enough to leave a very ranty voicemail about it. I know the cigarettes in the cupcakes were the worst part, but she also tablescaped with crushed red velvet (which I hear can’t be uncrushed) and an electric guitar when Duff plays bass. The other display was 1000% better and deemed to tame and predictable by the judging panel. Idiots, he made an attractive cupcake cake by putting the cupcakes on tiers shaped like a cake. He recreated the hamburger/hot dog/french fries cake and Exorcist cake for personalization. Once again, a classy display lost out to pure crap.
Robert, I’m totally playing your voicemail in our next podcast, in my 10 second spotlight. It was perfect. We’re recording in 15 mins, and it will be live tonight.
Sad day in American broadcast history when anyone sets out to impress a colossal asswipe like Duff Goldman.
Food Network , you should be ashamed.
Duff was just pissed the tobacco wasn’t GREEN!
Oh God this made me gag! I had to change the channel and even still was within an inch of actually throwing up. My father was a smoker and he had a bad habit of putting his cigarette out in his leftover food and that always made me so sick. This was just too much like that. I can’t say yuck enough.
I watched this, it was so gross. I think that girl was so entirely off in the last challenge, it made NO sense that she won. The other display may not have been as creative, but at least it was celebrating ALL of Charm City Cakes, and not just Duff’s interest. This whole episode was a massive ton of fail.
Doesn’t Duff look like he’s wearing false eyelashes? UGH on the tobacco; bet the cupcakes reeked of it.
Yes to the eyelashes. And can you imagine what the kitchens smelled like?
A bit of eye shadow too. And guy-liner? Sure that Adam Lambert is envious. ;-)
I love the term “guyliner!” Watch out, though! Fiettttti will get jealous! ;)
I am still in the process of writing a very bitchy letter to Ace of Cakes/Duff/Charm City Cakes AND the FN about this shit. I’m still too blown away by the stupidity and blatant disregard for health.
Cupcakes bring to mind children’s birthday parties and summer BBQ’s. Not eating a bunch of tobacco and frosting with a cigarette on top.
Seriously? If I were a customer of Duff’s, I would cancel my order and tell him to f*** right off.
Mac, I’ll do it for ya. Duff, FUCK OFF!
Thanks, BOO! :)
I agree with you…please write that letter and send it out asap! That was really disgusting. I personally loved the other guy’s display with the cakes that Duff had created. This is ridiculous! And ewww, I’ve never seen a man wear makeup like that…in most cultures, men don’t wear makeup, period, unless they’re in some tribe (which, where it’s a norm in the tribal cultures for men to wear makeup and perhaps skirts). Duff was just a plain stupid idiot for making this chick the winner (he secretly liked the tobacco) and making the other guy lose. Please. If I were in charge of Charm City Cakes, I would’ve chosen the guy making the display of my cakes my employees and I made to represent Charm City Cakes as whole, not Duff. Amazing how low people can go these days. Until I read this post however, I had no clue she used tobacco from a cigarette. I had thought it was fresh and part of the ingredients they had to work with (I probably missed that part of the show when I was flipping channels). Disgusting and vile.
That is nasty and wrong on so many levels.
I also associate cupcakes with kids and light-hearted stuff – not crumbly brown bad tasting stinky carcinogens :(
Revolting Ass Shit!
Meh. I’d give it a shot. Despite the fact that I can’t really begin to imagine what flavor or texture the dried-out tobacco from her mass-produced cigarettes would add, I’d definitely be interested to see. Now if she had used some fresh Bali Shag . . .
Two positives from it:
–Duff knows what a razor is
–Only 3 people probably watched it, Jillian being one of them
Ok, I KNEW that show would suck balls. And, yet, I cannot stop recording it to me DVR! So, yes, I watched this episode.
THE WHOLE EPISODE was Crapsational. Craptastic. Crapazing.
My favourite part is Duff being all “I DON’T like CUPCAKES!” Well, buddy, you’re on a CUPCAKE show. And your “cakes” are barely edible lumps of overworked fondant. So suck it.
I’m sure he hangs out with my buddy SCOTT CONANT, who btw is getting his own FUCKING SHOW! FUCK you Scott “married to the devil” Conant.
So, I guess, in summary, this episode was gross and Scott Conant is a fucking testicle.
Thank you and good night.
Is Conant the bloated retard douche who can’t figure out whether to grow a real beard or learn how to shave?
From Chopped? Yeah, that’s the one. I HATE that guy.
I just remember him as the Onion Nazi. I’m so stunned by his childish behavior regarding red onions (it’s apparently the color that gets his temper up) that his grooming habits completely pass me by.
Don’t worry, you can always ward him off with some red onion if he gets too unruly.
You’re right on that one. I can also rinse my pasta, or not finish it in the sauce.
That might get you, my mortal nemsis!
Does Duff not realize a cupcake is a mini FUCKING CAKE?
Does he do so much work with bricks and plaster of paris and styrofoam and spray insulation covered in fondant that he doesn’t even know what a real cake is anymore?
Funny you should ask. If I remember correctly, shortly after slagging off cupcakes, he mentioned that he makes real cakes.
yep. Duff is just angry that most cupcakes taste like cake and not nasty fondant.
Seriously? He thinks of those as “real cakes”?
I saw this episode and I think I know the reason she won. Did anyone notice the googly eyes Duff made at her? He was smitten by her so of course he wanted her to be at his shop to celebrate the 100th episode. It wasn’t about the cupcake for Duff, it was his chance to score some eye candy.
I hope Sofia/Frenchie/Duff’s grandmother, er, girlfriend wasn’t too jealous when cigarette girl showed up. Sofia looks like she could make someone disappear, Soprano-style.
(I know she’s French…work with me here, people!)
I agree VP. When you are a hideous looking short fat gargoyle, it’s occasions like this were you need to capitalize . Asswipes like Goldman would expect at least a handjob for making her the winner.
A pretty girls wins every time.. the last one just used salmon in a cupcake.
She should have at least used chewing tobbaco… and isn’t tobacco advertising of any kind banned on television?!?
I doubt Food Network was expecting this. And we know how well they edit things.
How’s it advertising?
Plus FN is cable. The FCC only regulates over-the-air channels. Nobody can accidentally get FN, they have to actively subscribe to a service provider.
Cupcakes are for people who don’t have the time or skill to bake a real cake. You have to have people do something stupid in order to make an entire show based on a trend.
I don’t see why people knock on cupcakes so hard. It’s pretty much the same as baking any cake, just smaller. Smaller = less talent, apparently? Sure, the show sucked but cupcakes can be as complex as any large cake (in decoration and flavor) when in capable hands.
Cupcakes are just small cakes. Same batter, same ingredients, different pan.
Decorating a cupcake is infinitely more easy than decorating a cake. Slicing a cake into equal layers, doling out a proportionate amount of filling between said layers, and making the whole thing look nice is much harder than piping some swirls and dropping on some sprinkles. This is why cupcakes are cheaper and a much less daunting task for someone who doesn’t want to spend three hours in the kitchen.
With that being said there are some very ornate and impressive cupcakes. Martha Stewart features some of them. But, the ones at the cupcake boutiques that are $4 each are rarely anything special.
I beg to differ. I do both, quite easily, thank you very much. Sometimes my 7-year-olds want cupcakes, ’cause they’re little girls, and sometimes full-blown cakes are appropriate. It’s a little bit different, but not too taxing.
Hard to believe a show about cupcakes has turned sour so soon…what next a jello competition show?
More disturbing than the tobacco is Duff’s apparent use of eye shadow and his facial man-scaping. Not sure who’s neck-ware is dumber, Duff’s too tight beads or that yellow thing around Mr. Canary. (What’s his role on the show?)
“…what next a jello competition show?”
Hush! Don’t give Aunt Sandy any ideas for yet anotherl show!!! LOL! ;)
God. Can you imagine a Semi-Horemade show all about the wonders of Jello Shots!?!
Hey. If they make a jello show I am sooooo in! Totally rocked the jello cookbook when I was, like, 9.
;-)
First — I am a smoker. ( I know, I’m the spawn of Satan for that, but I’m over 60 and I don’t care what you think.)
Second — Never, ever, never in a million years would I think of emptying one of my cigarettes into a cupcake batter
I saw the show and it was just so, so wrong. And, then, she won!
After that, and the vegan win last week, I’m pretty sure I won’t waste any more time on this stuff.
Interesting article in the New York Times about ingesting tobacco:
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/01/31/dining/eating-well-cigar-cuisine-puzzles-health-experts.html
I thought Duff was a complete ass on this show.
The cupcake stands that were designed and constructed in an hour were not elaborate enough for him? They spend a week on a few cakes and whine about having to work late. Maybe if they did some urine testing at Charm City they’d find that it is possible to work much faster than Stoner Speed.
Other than the stunt cupcakes on this show, like seaweed, a cupcake is supposed to taste good first and look pretty second. When did you last see a Charm City cake that you wanted to taste? Do they even wash their hands before playing with fondant?
I’m Pissed, Duff, really pissed.
Agree with you. The pastry chefs I know hate his show because they were all taught to not use non-edible things in food. If you need a wooden dowel, it’s a rarity. Not half the cake. Often times I look at the finished product and wonder where the cake is.
The hygiene on the show bugs me a lot. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that fondant does get under your nails and their hands aren’t filthy, but the fact that they always have their hair in their face, dangling near the cakes REALLY grosses me out.
Worst episode yet. If FN was going for the shock factor on his one, they succeeded. Tobacco cupcakes – do.not.want.
The tackiest cupcake stands always win, instead of the best tasting cupcakes. I don’t get it.
Where on EARTH did they find that Florian Belanger dude? I can’t understand 99% of what comes out of his mouth.
This show blows.
Send the damn foreighner home! That would improve that show 1%. God knows it needs all the help it can get.
Has anyone seen the commercial for “DC Cupcakes” yet? (I think it’s coming up on TLC?)
Whatever happened to original programming? All these channels/networks keep copying off each other. How long before the cupcake trend wears off? Soon, I hope.
Ace of Cakes/Cake Boss/Cake-Off = same show.
Cupcake Wars/DC Cupcakes/__________= same show.
FN hasn’t come up with their own version of Little Chocolatiers yet…
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
TLC simply means Total Lack of Creativity.
Restaurant Wars on Top Chef = new 24 hr restaurants on FN.
They just copied the most watched challenge on Top Chef. Food Network blows. No thinking outside the box. It is like they all just gave up and decided to be uninspiring, unoriginal.
What idjuts
Well the new 24hr things is SCOTT CONANT!!!
(See my comment above)
WTF
Where is Bob Tuschman?
He needs to get this cancer chick a show!
“Carcinogenic Cuisine with Jessica”
Tobacco in everything! PCBs as a tasty flavor enhancer! Gulf seafood fresh from the oil spill!
Brought to you by your friends at BP.
Ah! I saw this episode the other night and was like WTF the whole time. Why would one ever put something with that texture and that vile of a taste into a cupcake, much less a cupcake for a competition?
I’m really pondering if she planned to do this for a publicity stunt from the beginning or she seriously thought this was a good idea :/
This is literally the worst idea anyone has ever had.
Yes, I’m counting the “let’s give Aunt Sandy another TV show” decision. How I wish it were possible to kick someone in the teeth via television.
Seeing this reminded me of a very pregnant Peg Bundy sending the kiddies out to get her a container of Tobaccy n’ Clam ice cream. Urghhhh.
Ingesting cigarettes can and does kill children. Adults can also die if they eat enough as nicotine is not absorbed through the stomach. Cupcakes and children go hand in hand and you know some moron out there will make these for their kids.
So far the Food Network has promoted eating toxins and drinking and driving with driver friendly cocktails.
Maybe it’s the heat and I’m in a lousy mood but this network needs to be fined or taken off the TV. Pathetic shows and “hosts” with bad recipes is hilarious and funny as is this website and completely harmless but too many kids die each year from ingesting poisons and drinking and driving is a daily feature on the news with tragic results.Where are the censors?
You’d think the person who pulled this stunt – of sneaking tobacco into the kids’ cupcakes – would have ultimately been the LOSER of the competition – and been chastised on top of it. But no, not on the utterly unethical Food Network.
A lot of their idiot viewers will imitate/copy this recipe, for sure. Hope too many kids don’t get sick :(
Also hope FN gets their asses sued off!
Back up the common sense bus, people. While it was a stupid idea, it isn’t going to make Bertha Jo in her trailer throw some Camels in the mac and cheese. Bertha Jo was stupid anyway, she will find some other way to bring up her kids poorly. And where the hell do you get the drinking and driving thing, Cowpoke? I still haven’t seen Sandy with a martini in a thermos cruising down the road. You’re probably one of those people who thinks it’s safer having the liquor store 50 miles away because if they were closer it means your kids get hit by people driving from the store already having opened the bottle.
I assume he’s referring to her “driver-friendly” cocktail that contained vodka.
Well Bertha Jo might have already been doing this – but now she sort of has the Food Network “seal of approval.” I mean, it ws the winner, not the loser, who put tobacco in the cupcakes.
Di, anyone with half a brain knows it’s a stupid idea and knows FN isn’t saying “hey, do this!” just because it made the air. Anyone without said half a brain will do something stupid anyway and doesn’t need a catalyst period.
We’re all agreed it’s stupid. But it’s not the downfall of society. Paula Deen is contributing more to that than an episode of a show no one watches. I’d be more willing to listen to the complaints about how Mad Men glorifies smoking in a historical context, seeing how people actually have heard of that program.
Sandra Lee has been drunk in public more times than she has not.I have no doubt that she has probably driven drunk somewhere along the line. I was referring to her show in which she she makes a cocktail containing vodka and calls it driver friendly. FN has since taken that little bit off the show which might be why you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Regarding the cupcakes with tobacco -8000 children are poisoned each year by ingesting cigarettes and approximately 100 die from nicotine poisoning so I do think that some stupid parent will make this for their kids. Some idiot will see this on TV and think that because it was on TV and won best recipe that it’s safe and OK for their kids to eat.
AS for your last ridiculous comment I apparently hit a nerve with you. It is wrong to drink and drive.Period. I don’t think ANYONE IS SAFE as long as people drink and drive.
Did anyone else think of that episode of Scrubs when Janitor worked at CoffeeBucks and invented a “smokeaccino?”
“Smooookkaccccciiiiinnoooooo…. for Kyle. Smokeaccino for Kyle. Yup, that’s as tall as he’s gonna get.”
Theres ammonia, glass, tar, and a bunch of other ingredients she just added into that cupcake batter.
Shame.
I was on this website, and my 7-year-old came and looked over my shoulder. When she saw that picture of Duff, she began to giggle hysterically. At first I didn’t know what she was laughing at, but after I finally got her to calm down enough to talk, she sputtered, “That boy is wearing MAKE-UP! Haahaa!”
How long do you think it’ll take to make those atrocities into the new hipster food?
If you read the article in the New York Times (following the link that Mac provided in an earlier comment), they already are, despite huge objections and a general “WTF???” from the health community.
Thanks, I had skipped it when I was skimming through the other comments!
On that note, why, God, why?
God only knows. “Tobacco sauce” doesn’t sound very tempting to ME–please leave it OFF my dessert, thank you very much. What I worry about is the chef creating a “signature” dish and not TELLING me that tobacco is in it.
Why is Duff wearing mascara?
This is just really gross. Her use of tobacco in the cupcakes, who eats full tobacco leaves? How in the world did she ever view this as being a winning strategy? Would she have even eaten those cupcakes? Doubtful.
I’m not sure which is more unappetizing, the pict of Duff, or the inset pict of the cig cupcake. I’m thinking I would much rather lay into that cupcake any day. And to think that Duff actually has a cult following. You know there are a bunch of chicks that would do anything for that man. But, they’re all probably diabetic and can’t think straight. Step away from the fondant ladies…it’s just your blood sugar talking!!
Duff hates on cupcakes because he would actually have put some effort to apply frosting on them, rather than just drape them in fondant, then go share a spliff with Geof while Mary Alice applies his eyeliner.
I’ve watched a lot of episodes of AOC (mostly out of boredom) and I’ve noticed that Duff does little to no work. Everyone else bakes, designs, and delievers the cakes. The only time he delievers a cake to a location is when big stars and cameras are going to be there. When Alaska wanted a 50th anniversary cake, Duff got to fly there and have a ball while his merry band of hipsters did all the work. They should unionize and take over CCC.
Okay I have to say I am falling completely in LOVE with your blogs and podcast! Thank you THANK YOU thank you for being so AWESOME! I work for a company that sells foodservice supplies online so I do a ton of foodie stuff including writing and reading several blogs so it is such a breath of fresh air to get a good laugh out of this industry. I like cooking shows but to make fun of them…thats just pure love! Thanks! ~ Kelly
I smoke BUT I would not want to even take a bite of that cupcake. There is a big difference in smoking, chewing and eating tobacco. Eating that stuff could have made the judges very sick. I understand Duff does not like cupcakes, but why would they choose a winner who make a cupcake using ingredients Duff would NEVER use, EVER!!!!!
LSD isn’t addicting…
lol that crazy
All the people here threatening to call the Food Network and cancel their subscriptions and leaving nasty voicemails to the producers of the show: Maybe you should either:
A. get a fucking job and maybe your husband will actually find you attractive again and will finally have sex with you for the first time since your third kid was conceived
OR
B. actually learn how to bake, and spend some time in your OWN kitchen instead of watching one on television, and then maybe your husband will actually find you attractive for the first time since your youngest kid started kindergarten.
It’s a TELEVISION SHOW about CUPCAKES. It’s not the fucking Olympic Summer Games. If you don’t like the outcome, who gives a shit? IT’S A CUPCAKE SHOW. There are better things to get your panties in a twist about–why not call your congressman to complain about certain issues your city/state is facing? Oh wait, your upper-middle class suburban life probably has no goddamn problems, which is why you spend your time watching a cupcake show and getting furious about it.
Yeah, the cupcakes were gross, yeah, it’s absolutely INSANE that she used tobacco, and to all of you commenting stating simply that, kudos. This message is for those who are damn near threatening LEGAL ACTION because they didn’t like the winner of a (probably scripted) television show.
Why don’t you call NBC to bitch about the fact that you don’t think Jim and Pam should be having another child? Jesus Christ, I can picture you morons calling Showtime to tell them that you can’t believe they haven’t caught Dexter yet, but it’s okay because you know all the details and can help bring him to justice.
I agree with Chris, it’s a show people. Quit bitching about it.
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