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Melissa d’Arabian On Georgetown University’s Website
Posted by Jillian Madison


Lots of angry Georgetown students and graduates have been writing in to FNH this week to complain about Mommy McBacon’s photo on the main page of the university’s website. These two e-mails in particular were so hilarious, I thought they needed to be shared with the world:

Melina said: “On Georgetown’s HOMEPAGE, which is the very first thing that everyone sees, they have one photograph. That photograph SHOULD show one of the many high-achieving alumni of Georgetown, or a picture of the campus or something. Instead, they decide to place a photo of the frozen bacon lover with the terrifying smile, who is apparently so unsuccessful that she can only afford to spend $2.50 per person on dinner. Is this really the kind of message you want to send prospective applicants, Georgetown?? Because you just lost one.”

Dana told us: “I am currently researching graduate programs at various universities, but I was stopped dead in my tracks when I went to Georgetown’s website only to see Melissa D’Arabian’s face in what appears to be an advertisement on the success of the school’s alumni. Apparently, the MBA that she earned there just wasn’t as satisfying as appearing on a crappy show on food television. Georgetown doesn’t offer the program I’m looking for, but that became a secondary concern the minute I saw this.”

Oh, FNH readers. How I love you so.

“Georgetown gave me a sense of possibility and opportunity,” d’Arabian explained in the Georgetown article about her. “My classes were each more interesting than the next. I loved that I loved statistics and management science – who knew?” Right! And who knew she’d one day be using that statistical knowledge to calculate exactly how many people couldn’t stand watching her television show.

In a related story d’Arabian’s wallet was stolen this weekend while she was at the Atlantic City wine and food festival. Police said the wallet held cash, credit cards, gift cards and d’Arabian’s driver’s license. The contents are valued at between $500 and $600. It’s a shame that she didn’t enroll in the “WATCH YO’ SHIT WHEN YO’ IN PUBLIC” class whilst aquiring that fancy expensive education, which she kicked to the curb for mediocrity.

Sorry, Georgetown, but this was a complete and total fail.

Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Proof Melissa D’Arabians Dinners Don’t Cost Ten Dollars
---Food Network Website Fail
---Dear Food Network, Your Website SUCKS. Love, EVERYONE.
---Ladies And Gentlemen, Melissa d’Arabia

    65 Responses

  1. David Welsh says:

    “My classes were each more interesting than the next.”

    Wouldn’t that mean that her classes got progressively less interesting?

  2. Chris says:

    Georgetown is not a member of the Ivy League.

  3. Minx says:

    That picture is unbelievable. And here I always thought Georgetown was a respected university.

  4. Jim says:

    Im 17 years old and starting to apply to schools and really loved Georgetown. So I’m all excited to get to their online application and begin to fill it out… but what do I see? A PICTURE OF HER!?!?! GAHH!

    • potty mouth princess says:

      Come to my alma mater, UC Berkeley. Alice Waters is an alumna. Inasfar as famous chefs or “chefs” in Melissa’s case, I’d take the place that taught Waters any day. :D

      Plus, it’ll save your parents a bundle, even if you’re from out of state.

  5. Annie says:

    Haven’t I seen Giada wearing that exact same ugly shirt on her show recently? Do they just swap clothes over there? Yuck.

  6. Daria says:

    She’s been on the network for a year so isn’t Georgetown kind of late with this story? Also I read the article, it only takes her 2 1/2 weeks to film a whole season of episodes, what does she do with the rest of her time? Must be nice to have a job like that.

  7. Motzi Greps says:

    This must mean Georgetown is desperate. No other logical explanation.

  8. Robert says:

    “Lots of angry students and graduates …”?

    Based on the excerpts, it seems like it’s mostly prospective students who are writing in, and it’s hilarious that this is a detractor for them. The 8.5 other applicants vying for each spot there greatly appreciate your disdain for d’Arabian.

    Prospectives should be more concerned about the fact that the food at Georgetown’s cafeteria is, somehow, worse than anything on Ten Dollar Dinners.

    • The key words in your comment were “based on the excerpts.” We got about 40 emails from students and alums who were horrified by her presence on their school’s homepage. These were the funniest emails we received, and they just happened to be from prospective students. Don’t read into it too much, eh?

    • Wat says:

      Seriously, I’m sure other applicants will be happy to fill the space, lol.

      • Scruffy says:

        I think the point is that the Georgetown marketing department is supposed to be up to the caliber of the rest of the university…

        The site and that content seems more fitting for the University of Phoenix.

  9. Lisa L says:

    It will be interesting to see if Georgetown website admin ends up removing that pic/article from the front page of the site anytime soon.

  10. Silvio says:

    And WTF is Fox News doing calling her a “Chef”.

    I’ll bet she administered some major pickle washes while at Georgetown come to think of it.

  11. oh_come_on says:

    Why isn’t this crud on G’town’s MBA program page? Of ALL their alumni (like Bill Clinton, Antonin Scalia, King Abdullah II of Jordan etc)they chose her? Ridiculous. The quote about her professor emptying cups and filling them up sounds like she was inspired to have a tea party.

  12. Goober says:

    Georgetown = TTT (Third-Tier Toilet)

  13. SaraCVT says:

    Georgetown’s alumni are really such an uninspiring lot that this was the best they could do?

  14. Nora says:

    Why would someone want her wallet? It probably just had the $10 she was going to use to buy the ingredients for her cooking demo. I doubt it had $500-$600 worth of stuff in there.

  15. Teague says:

    Well no longer a reason to feel bad about not getting into Gerorgetown.

  16. Lana says:

    My university’s celebrity claim-to-fame (and pic on website) is William Peterson (Gil Grissom on CSI). Evidently, we kick Georgetown’s “celebrity alumni” ass.

    Oh, and as a statistics professor, I can say with 95% confidence that NO ONE loves statistics. And if they say they do, it indicates a direct correlation to other emotional disturbances.

  17. Kira says:

    Does she really love bacon that much? I bet she has worms. American pork is total crap.

  18. Scruffy says:

    WTF is your beef with American pork?

    • Kira says:

      Well aside from the parasites, diseases, filth they eat, lack of toxin release by sweating and the numerous resistant strains of bacteria found in a large percentage of them, nothing, though I have to admit I don’t like the way they are treated.

      • Ferd Berfle says:

        They’re pigs.

      • SaraCVT says:

        None of that is particularly American; it pertains to all swine. As for the treatment, they are treated WAY worse in other countries; I graduated in Animal Sciences–one of my courses was Swine Production and I know, believe me.

      • Kira says:

        That’s strange because I believe I read that other countries won’t import American pork, like the UK, and they also have free-range organic pork as well. I can’t find organic meat here at all. Not even a Kosher deli.

  19. Una says:

    Are you people serious? You would consider not attending a school just because a pseudo-chef on Food Network got a degree there? I’m far from a D’Arabian fan, but that’s the most effed-up logic I’ve ever heard. Way to keep your priorities in line, folks. Let’s forget academic reputation and just choose our colleges based on arbitrary b.s. Jesus.

  20. carlos says:

    she is successful and all of you are jealous of her frozen bacon…congrats

    • Jane says:

      Errrr….jealous of her frozen bacon? I freeze my own stinkin’ bacon. I might not have a culinary point of view to showcase it, but, but, I can see the Eiffel tower from the google window I have open.

      *adjusting my beret*…….

    • SaraCVT says:

      Ummm…her frozen bacon? Really? If I was jealous of her at all–not agreeing that I AM–but let’s posit the idea that I am, THAT’S what you think I would be jealous of? Seriously? Ummm, OK.

    • SaraCVT says:

      Umm…her frozen bacon? Seriously? Not agreeing at all that I am jealous of her, but let’s posit the idea that I am–if I were, THAT’S what you think I’d be jealous of? REALLY? Uh, OK.

    • SaraCVT says:

      Sorry for the double post. My computer is playing games.

    • lizzielove says:

      Call us all “h8ters” next. I swear the youth of this nation gets dumber by the second.

  21. Ludwig says:

    Mommy McBacon? Really?

  22. Jessica says:

    As an aside: I HATE when people say “more ____ than the next.” (More interesting, more rewarding, more engaging, etc.) It should be “more [whatever] than the LAST! Melissa is dumber than I thought.

  23. “She traded Disney for food fame.” Did Melissa work on a cruise or something?

    • Robert says:

      She worked in corporate finance at company headquarters and then transitioned into a merchandise finance role at Disneyland Paris.

  24. Jane says:

    I have watched Melissa’s show twice. I had the desire to yell “Cut!” and order her to take some deep cleansing breaths. She’s frenetic, and it’s stressful to watch her.

    Her brand power with FN could be xanax…………

  25. Ina Garten DaVida says:

    Just had to check my alma mater’s website…fellow Wolverine Sarah Moulton is NOT featured on the front page, although it wouldn’t be quite so shame-inducing.

    I know Georgetown has had some famous alumni…couldn’t they do better??

    • Di says:

      Srsly! I half didn’t believe this and just now went to their website and, jeez louise, there she is.
      I mean, don’t they have grads who are doctors, scientists, pullitzer prize winners? Rather than someone who makes a living by winning a rigged competition on a phony TV reality show?!?!?
      Oh my head hurts . . . so wrong . . .

  26. lizzielove says:

    I truly think “I loved that I loved” is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in print in my life. That includes being called a hater or told I’m jealous for not liking some celebrity or other.

  27. Anon says:

    They chose HER out of someone like Bill Clinton or King Abdullah II of Jordan?

  28. Catherine says:

    D’Arabian got her undergraduate degree from the University of Vermont… and so did I. UGH. And of course the school lauds her like the highest degree of celebrity. It’s gross. I know she gave a presentation at their alumni weekend a few months ago, and there has been at least one feature about her in the alumni magazine. Of course her time in Vermont had nothing at all to do with cooking. Just saying, I don’t appreciate having her image associated with what is otherwise a school that I’m proud of.

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