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More Appropriate TV Jobs For The Next Food Network Star Final 3
Posted on August 10th 2010 by Jillian Madison

If you follow Next Food Network Star, you know we’re down to the final three competitors! While Herb, Tom, and Aarti all seem like lovely people, we just don’t think they’re right for a channel like the Food Network. Aarti’s too slow, boring, repetitive, and insecure. Herb’s too frantic, unstable, and hyperactive. And while he’s our favorite of the final 3, we just don’t think Tom could carry his own cooking show.

We can see these three on television, just on other networks. Here’s where they belong:
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Aarti Faarti, on Discovery Health


(Who better to host a show all about hot air?)
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Children’s Story Hour With Tom on PBS


(Remember his story about the tale of 2 tunas? I rest my case.)
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Herb as a pitchman on QVC


(Someone has to fill Billy Mays’ shoes.)


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---HUGE SPOILER: Did Food Network Reveal Next Food Network Star 6 Winner?
---More Proof YOU KNOW WHO Makes It To The Finale On Next Food Network Star
---Next Food Network Star Finale: And The Winner Is…
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 8 Recap (8/1/2010)
---Next Food Network Star: Episode 5 Recap (7/11/2010)

    15 Responses

  1. oh_come_on says:
    August 10, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Aaah-Tee Faah-Tee, sponsored by Gas-X and Beano.

    Reply
  2. Deane says:
    August 10, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Hilarious.

    Reply
  3. Goober says:
    August 10, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    “Aarti’s Indian food” – as if she ever cooks anything else?

    Reply
  4. John says:
    August 10, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Buy Herb’s crappy oil blend in the next ten minutes and we’ll also include this DVD of him whining about his childhood when he was pudgy!

    Should I be shocked that I could actually see that on QVC? Or should I be even more shocked that I’d even watch QVC?

    Reply
  5. E Buzz Miller says:
    August 10, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I’m really getting a good feel for who these three people really are, and I’m seeing more consistency from them, which is what we are looking for.

    Aarti: bored housewife
    Tom: unemployed jackass
    Herb: future human skin upholsterer

    Reply
  6. Silvio says:
    August 10, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    I have a good use for Bob Tuschman. I’d like to use the fucker as a mudflap on my Kenworth rig.

    Reply
  7. atdleft says:
    August 10, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    Wow. So these are “the best & brightest” at FN these days? Whatever happened to the FOOD at Food Network?

    Reply
  8. Teague says:
    August 10, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    So is that a flower in her her or an air freshener?

    Reply
  9. Squirrel says:
    August 10, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    Aarti Faarti made me shaarti

    Reply
    • Silvio says:
      August 10, 2010 at 5:30 pm

      No doubt. Nobody here talks about the after effects of eating Aarti Indian curry. The Mumbai Mudslide . No wonder everyone says ” I like Indian food , but it doesn’t like me”

      No shaart.

      Reply
  10. pita1213 says:
    August 10, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    I’d watch story time with Tom. Listening to him ramble on reminds me of listening to an elderly neighbor of mine tell stories about when she was younger.

    Reply
  11. Eric says:
    August 11, 2010 at 11:45 am

    I like the idea of “The Baked Chef” with Tom where he gets real stoned and combines crazy ingredients like clams & french toast. Some network would pick this up (I’m looking at you MTV).

    Reply

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