Guy Fieri »
Time Magazine Calls Guy Fieri “The King Of Lame”
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Hair bleach: $8
Sunglasses: $100
Finally getting recognized by Time Magazine:
.
Ah yes. Guy Fieri was recently recognized by Time Magazine for having one of the “10 Worst Celebrity Goatees.” And if you thought the photo was hilarious, wait ’til you get a load of the author’s spot-on description of Fieri:
The self-dubbed “rock-and-roll chef” is more the king of lame than the king of rock. Honestly picking on Fieri’s appearance is too easy (the bleach-blond hair, the loud shirts, and the biker sunglasses are more suited to an awkward, out-of-touch uncle desperately clinging to a vestige of youth that exists in his mind and his mind alone). But the goatee? It’s the final peppering of tremendo-lame on this overdone disaster.
It’s about time you caught on, Time! (Sorry, had to go there.)
(Thanks for the tip, Lana!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---FNH Cookbook: Guy Fieri Recipe---Guy Fieri At Kentucky Derby (And The Story Of A Lame FLICKR User)
---Guy Fieri In A Gold Lamé Suit
---Guy Fieri vs A Rock
---Guy Fieri Rock n’ Roll Culinary Tour Set To Destroy America
- Guy Fieri
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40 Responses
He should be called “King Douchebag”
Yeah, his breath probably smells like vinegar and water.
World – 1
Guy Ferry – 0
Wow. A nearly pitch-perfect description of Ferry. Well done, Time magazine, well done.
Superglue and pubes don’t mix!
BTW- you’re a 40ish father, husband and businessman, Guy! Put down the Peroxide bottle and stop dressing like a frat boy. Throw away the silly armbands and dump the cheap “bling”. Finally, get those stupid tattoos lasered off. A grenade? Seriously? Maybe if you were in the Military, but you weren’t. And put on some fucking shoes and pants on. No one wants to see your ugly legs and feet. Jesus. If I was his wife, I would have put a stop to that shit on Day One. “You either dress like a human being or you don’t get to ‘eat out’ anymore!”
“awkward, out-of-touch uncle desperately clinging to a vestige of youth … overdone disaster.”
Chortle. And again I say, Chortle.
:-D
Makes ya wonder what Bob Tickturdman thinks of his “golden boy” now.
So long as Ferry keeps pulling in the merchandising bucks, I’m sure Bob sleeps very well at night.
“Tremendo-lame!” Bwahahahahahahahahaaaaa!! ;)
Well, at least he figured out the right way to wear his sunglasses thi time?
Sorry, he’s still a douche and Time rocks!
That would be “this” time.
I find it incomprehensible that anyone would CHOOSE to look like this. (Or behave like this….)
Can someone please call Oprah and get Guy a makeover? Please?
Getting him anywhere near Oprah could lead to the apocalypse.
if you like that check out…www.rockcamp.com
you can be a rockstar for a day, and yes, your hero “master chef guy fieri” will be there, only $7,999 per person
Rock Camp is a total blast. If I had the $, I’d totally do it again. :-D But sans Guy Fieri this time. Please?
I don’t quite get it. I mean.. why? I don’t know “all things Guy” (thank goodness), but does he, in fact, play in a band or something? What relevance does that fat tool have to a rock-n-roll camp?
I asked his rep (some guy named Christian) that very question last year. He said Guy plays drums and keys as a hobby, loves rock n roll, and that the event was “right up his alley.”
I guess Guy wanted to sign on as a camper, but other commitments prevented him from doing it, so he just showed up to host a lunch on the last day and to MC the final concert (to which he showed up about an hour late, and either hangin’ over pretty bad or still drunk. I’m not sure which.) :-D Anyway, whatever.
Point is, R-n-R camp is a total hoot, interviewing the campers and meeting all the camp counselors was just incredible for me.
I can only hope Guy’s build, stupid hair, and overall douchiness make him look like a very tasty seal when he’s out wakeboarding in the Pacific, and a shark does us all a wonderful favor…
That shark would be money.
Flavah Town! (for the shark anyway) you just got to know that’s some primo tender pink meat — albeit in a child-size portion.
So why does FN keep him around? Must still get decent ratings?
I can only assume he sells crap-aplenty and, yes, enough people watch him. Time for him to get over his midlife crisis, though. Long overdue, actually.
I’m in the minority, but, you’re only as old as you feel. *shrug* I think having your own style is pretty cool. Why conform? There’s no age limit on how you’re allowed to dress. I don’t know, just doesn’t bother me.
I have to agree. When I hit 40, I didn’t start wearing sweater sets and knee highs. I agree his hair, arm bands and gaudy rings are atrocious, but shorts and flip flops are an American staple at any age!
I don’t think that’s really quite the point here. At least, not completely. The thing about Guy is that he’s trying so desperately to appear young that he becomes what amounts to a sad, pathetic parody of himself.
I’m not sure to what to compare it, but maybe it’s something along the lines of when parents try too hard to appear to be “the cool parents” to their kids’ friends and only result in embarrassing the hell out of their kids.
You want to wear shorts and flip-flops after 40, then fine (better have the legs for it, though!). People do it all the time. But, most people don’t look and act like this Kulinary Klown. Having your own style is great, unless said style is acquired one the last day of a 99-Cent Store Halloween sale, when the only dregs left on the floor are ratty rainbow wigs, a plastic green-neon poncho and clown shoes.
“Better have the legs for it.”
Screw that. Rock on. Look away if I don’t have the legs for it.
I think Fieri’s biggest problem is that unless he acts like a braying jack ass, Diners, etc. etc. is . . . boring. He loves everything. Everything is unexpected food in an unexpected spot. It is the same show over and over, and even if he is near your location, whatever place he goes to will be swamped with people after the show airs. It is basically a formula that requires something other than the food to be interesting. Hence the stupid outfits, the hot rods, etc.
Wow..lots of judgemental haters out there. It makes me wonder the level of “fashionplateness” or conservativeness of the majority of negative posters here.
From his first appearance on the FN reality show, he has been this way. It’s not like his visibility has changed him much. I’d have to say, like him or not, he is true to himself…he’s just not like you, or you, or you, or me. Besides, isn’t he from Cali? ;-)
Like Madonna, Prince et al, he’ll gradually shed the extraneaous BS and join the masses in the relatively dull institution of adulthood. As long as he’s getting your attention (positive or negative), why should he?
I’m in the minority, but, you’re only as old as you feel. *shrug* I think having your own style is pretty cool.>>>
I don’t believe that IS his style. I think it was thrust upon him ill-advisedly so) by stylists at FN.
His wardrobe does scream douche, and his R-n-R attitude is generic, but what really gets me about him is the way he cooks..He marinades steaks in Mt. Dew for crying out loud. He licks his fingers constantly. He has no precision with a knife, and cheats on sauces. His food rivals applebee’s at best…2 for $20 now thats money…not mine thank god…
The fact that Time actually did a piece on this subject is depressing in and of itself. But, since It was anti-Guy, I’m all for it. Unfortunately, he got more press.
I caught a way-early episode of Big Bite sometime last week and was shocked at how the FN Celebrity Machine has transformed this person from a fairly lovable fellow who was making decent, albeit slightly TGIFriday’s-inspired food, into an easy-to-despise tool and a walking billboard for trying too hard. I recall on the season he won that Tuschie kept telling Guy to lighten up with the restau lingo and talk to the home cook, ninety percent of whom have no idea what it means to “nest the pasta.” Apparently “Guido” didn’t loosen up fast enough because FN took it upon itself to be the arbiters of cool by changing him into a Cali-surfer-rockstar hybrid that is basically a spoof of the archetype, instead of a chef’s variation on the theme. At this point, Guy’s shows have become too trite and unwatchable for me and his lexicon drives me nuts! I’m trying to determine whether or not FN needed a chef for their “Dirtbag Who Hangs Out In the High School Parking Lot To Show People How Bitchin’ He Is” category or if they really like being that out of touch. Did it become ironic at some point, so now it’s cool? I’m really at sea when it comes to understanding this one!
Your comments totally reflect the way I feel. When he first started on FN, I liked Guy, too. But now I can’t stand him. Ditto Rachel Ray and Paula Deen and I now change the channel whenever they appear. Bring back Sara Moulton on “Sara’s Secrets.” She worked with Julia Child, was a real chef, and also wasn’t crafted as a personality, which is why her show had no bling, no zing, no “that put the shamalamma in the ding dong” nonsense, but was always interesting and informative to watch.
Ohhh Time,how I love you. This was so delicious, I had to get a fork.
I like Guy Fieri, he seems like a nice guy. Which is why I have to disagree with the “douche” descriptor. Douches usually think they are cooler than everyone else, and I don’t get that vibe from him.
Guido, I dunno, I guess it’s hard to feel it is appropriate since Guido and douchebag usually go hand in hand, but I suppose it is possible to have a Guido who isn’t a douche, just like it’s possible to have douches who aren’t Guidos (the guests at the Sinatra house on that episode of NFNS a few weeks ago come to mind).
“Tool” seems to be the most apropos derogatory term in this instance.
I guess my thoughts on this are irrelevant, especially since I admitted above to liking Guy. I guess I just hate to see a funny term like “douche” get misused.
“Douches usually think they are cooler than everyone else, and I don’t get that vibe from him”
Sorry, but the times I’ve met him, I totally got that vibe.
Hi, I’m not sure where the original Time magazine article is for this post but the article I found states absolutely nothing the original poster has written here.
The time mag. article seems to actually “give a nod” (if you will) to Fieri. It actually is about the “Rise of Dude Food”; not a bashing at all.
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1988248,00.html
If you click on the pretty RED TEXT in the original post, it would have magically taken you to the article I referenced.
Here it is again, since you missed it:
http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/08/06/top-10-worst-celebrity-goatees/usa-culture-chef-guy-fieri/#ixzz0vtUJk15M
“I’m not sure where the original Time magazine article is for this post”
Seriously?! You didn’t think to click the link which Jillian *provided in the post*? Gobsmacked!
I wonder if “G” is Guy?
And now the Newspaper of Record has weighed in on Guy:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/11/dining/11Fieri.html?_r=1&hpw
What cracks me up are his friends that he always has on set. They all look like D-bags in ed hardy shirts that try to picks 18 year old girls.