NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.

Sandra Lee »

32

Sandra Lee Thinks There Are 5 Nights In A Week
Posted on September 29th 2010 by Jillian Madison

Sandra Lee just sent out a message to her Facebook fans, encouraging us to eat nutritious meals “all five nights of the week.”


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Sandra Lee’s Fans Have Less Brain Cells Than She Does [FNH Facebook War!]
---Sandra Lee’s Money Saving Tips O’ The Week
---Twitter Week On FNH: Day 4 (Sandra Lee)
---Sandra Lee Regressing Back To Her Old Color Coordinated Ways
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Sandra Lee “Cool Kids” Cookbook

    32 Responses

  1. Deaner says:
    September 29, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    Were it someone other than Aunt Sandy, I’d just assume she meant the work week. But I think in her case, Friday evening to Monday morning is always a wee bit of a blur, if you take my meaning.

    Reply
  2. Sue says:
    September 29, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    I cannot stand the way this woman writes. Everything is “around” (around $15, around 30 minutes). “Super simple” is totally subjective and is really just marketing balderdash. Same with “in no time.”

    Then again, I really cannot stand this woman, so it’s not surprising that her writing bothers me, too. Dear Sandra Lee. Please hire a real writer and editor so that your articles will be coherent and written in clear, simple language.

    Reply
  3. Melange a'foie says:
    September 29, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    It’s because she’s on a bender those other 2…

    Reply
  4. Russell says:
    September 29, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Other interpretations:

    Sexism: She probably means that the stay-at-home housewife drunkenly prepares the meal M-F, then the husband comes home and provides for the family on the weekends.

    Shred of Compassion: You prepare her semi-homemade monstrosities during the week, then treat yourself to real food on the weekends.

    Weekend Work: No eating on the weekend. That’s when you need all forty-eight hours to prepare this week’s “Tablescapes.” Those hideous sensory-overstimulants need at least 48 hours of prep time; no sleeping allowed.

    Reply
    • Daria says:
      September 29, 2010 at 4:39 pm

      It is very confusing trying to intrepret this message, because on the one hand if you were a homemaker and had to get dinner on the table at 6:00pm but were too busy doing other things (like coming up with tablescapes or changing all the accessories in your kitchen to match your outfit) then you would need something that took less than 30mins to make. However if you could afford to eat dinner out on Sat/Sun every week then why would you care if the dinner was on a budget?

      What is Sandra Lee’s target audience and does she even know herself?

      Reply
  5. Jillian Madison says:
    September 29, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Oh! This is fun! We’re getting heckled by Sandra fans under that Facebook photo. Someone named “Tanya” just wrote: “Ugly and Catty. Congrades. I like Sandra Lee. Keep it to yourself.”

    CONGRADES? Um, wow. She’s clearly a Sandra Lee fan.

    Reply
    • Dan says:
      September 29, 2010 at 3:33 pm

      WTF is congrades? Is that like congratulations???

      Reply
    • Jillian Madison says:
      September 29, 2010 at 3:36 pm

      Okay, seriously, facebook users, you have to go read the comment flame war that’s going on. It’s pretty hilarious. Another Sandra Lee fan just accused a Sandra Lee detractor of having a “red crotch.”

      I could not make this up if I wanted to.

      Reply
      • SaraCVT says:
        September 29, 2010 at 4:13 pm

        WOW–they get nasty when challenged, don’t they? Wonder what Sandra Lee would think of her fans…assuming she’s sober enough to see the words on the screen. They’d probably take offense to that, too.

        Reply
        • Jillian Madison says:
          September 29, 2010 at 4:16 pm

          It’s sort of creepy! All I did was point out that there were 7 nights in the week, and 6 hardcore Sandra Lee fans started attacking me… saying I had a big forehead (which I do)… insulting me, and just acting generally 12 years old.

          I decided to play their game and write back to them for a few minutes, but these people are straight-up lunatics.

          Reply
    • C.K. says:
      September 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm

      Oh man, those comments made my day. I love the constant reference to the red crotch. Now that there’s a link to FNH posted in the FB comments, I wonder if trolling will begin and Aarti’s Army will team up with the newly organized Semi-Homemakers.

      It makes me cringe to think there’s people out there that look to Aunt Sandy’s tablescapes for ideas.

      Reply
  6. Leah says:
    September 29, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    These people on Facebook are ridiculous! Also, I love how personal they take comments not directed at them.

    Reply
  7. BOO says:
    September 29, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    OMG! Doesn’t Aunt Toddie have a niece Stephanie?

    Reply
  8. Brad says:
    September 29, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Well, obviously Sandra takes the weekends off since she spends all 5 days of the week cooking these masterpieces.

    Reply
  9. Kathy says:
    September 29, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    I’m guessing she means that we’re supposed to eat her Semi-Homemade swill the other two nights?

    Reply
  10. Hookerbot says:
    September 29, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Also, remember that if you call someone an alcoholic, it means that you’re the boozehound and need help. Not the person suggesting limoncello and vodka cocktails are consumable.

    I almost want to “like” aunt sandy just for these comments.

    Reply
    • Annicka says:
      September 29, 2010 at 6:57 pm

      The logic behind calling someone an alcoholic because they called Aunt Sandy an alcoholic is mystifying.

      I love it when Sandy’s stupid fans tell people IF U DON’T LIKE HER THEN DON’T WATCH HER SHOW OR LIKE HER PAGE OMG U STOOPID.

      It’s true I don’t like her. I think Sandra Lee is a moron. But the fact that she’s seriously presenting her swill as valid options for consumption is hilarious, and that is why I watch her show and that is why I’m a fan of her Facebook. Plus the booze. I get a contact high just watching her pour out that vodka!

      Reply
  11. old unkajoe says:
    September 29, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Rachael Ray also thinks there are five nights in a week, judging by her new show “Week In A Day” where she prepares five meals.

    Reply
  12. C.K. says:
    September 29, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    thank god jillian screencapped the comments since a semi-homemaker decided to delete all her comments. thanks jillian!

    Reply
  13. Elizabeth says:
    September 29, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    *headdesk* REALLY, Aunt Sandy? Do you think little kitchen elves take care of dinner the other two nights?

    Reply
  14. Holly says:
    September 29, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    I read the facebook comments, but missed the Gretchen action! I’d love to see that!

    Reply
  15. Catherine says:
    September 29, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    I got there too late and missed the Gretchen exchange, I’m dying to know what happened!!!

    It’s hard to believe that Sandra has fans. But it’s a little easier to believe when you see what kind of people those fans are. Behold, Facebook comments… barely a notch above YouTube comments for pure unfiltered idiocy.

    Reply
  16. sea1230 says:
    October 1, 2010 at 7:30 am

    I’m sure she knows there are 7 days in a week…she was probably talking about weekdays

    Reply
  17. yotan says:
    October 18, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    well duh, the weekdays are for dealing with the family, the weekends you get drunk and order pizza and awkwardly hit on the 17 year old delivery boy

    Reply

Post your comments


LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved