I’m not a regular reader of Semi-Homemade Magazine, so I had no idea just how much crazy stuff Sandra Lee was printing every month. Though the whole magazine made me scratch my head in disbelief, these are the top 5 most WTF things from Sandra’s September/October 2010 issue:

Every time you turn the page, you’re met with another over-sized, airbrushed photo of Sandra Lee. Are all of these self-indulgent images necessary? And why does she look like a completely different person in every one? Regardless, no one – and I mean no one – needs to see that many photos of Aunt Sandy enjoying the fall harvest. If you’ve seen one picture of her in an LL Bean jacket holding a bucket of corn, you’ve seen them all.
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The food in the magazine ranged from “eh” to “nasty” – but this burrito-stuffed poblano with queso ranch dressing actually made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. It must be considered a “money saving meal” because the mere sight of it makes you want to avoid food for the next week.

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Behold Sandra’s “panache pumpkins” – which are basically just pumpkins she ruined by spray painting them white. Too bad they look like they’re covered in mold, or a fungus that only grows south of the equator. Why would anyone want to ruin gorgeous, harvest-y colored pumpkins and gourds like this? TOTAL FAIL.

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Whoa… WTF is she talking about? And more importantly, will someone please tell this crazy bitch there is such a thing as TOO MUCH ALLITERATION? It’s supposed to be a letter from the editor, not an addendum to a Dr Seuss book.
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Sandra actually suggested that we go out and buy a $25 megaphone, and use it as the centerpiece for a football tablescape. Even worse, she said to have the guests draw football plays on dry erase boards, and then use them as lap trays for their food. Um, I’m a huge football fan, but I couldn’t draw a football play if you held a gun to my head. And wouldn’t it smudge off once a plate and cup were placed on top of it? Way to think things through, Sandra.

Thankfully, a friend gave me this issue for free. Overall, it’s thin, skimpy-looking, and filled with way too much advertising and fluff. If I paid the $4.99 retail price for it, I would have felt pretty ripped off. Your mileage may vary.

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