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Paula Deen’s Product Endorsements: A Growing Compilation
Posted by Jillian Madison

Earlier this week, Serious Eats told us that Paula Deen will soon be launching her own line of… wait for it… FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. The news made me feel every emotion from shock and confusion to anger and resentment. Does BROCCOLI need a spokesperson? And even if it did, shouldn’t it be Jillian Michaels or Demi Moore or some world-renowned nutritionist? Shouldn’t it be just about ANYONE but Paula Deen, who is, quite frankly, the LAST person I think of when I think of vegetables? The woman all but built her career on putting hamburgers on donuts and eating raw butter because it made her simple folk audience giggle, and now she’s pulling this vegetable shit under the beguiling guise of “wanting Americans to eat better?”  Yeah, I’m so sure.

It seems like every day, Paula Deen is putting her face on another product or endorsing another company, and this FRUIT & VEGETABLE thing made me realize just how out of hand it has gotten through the years. It literally feels like there are people sitting around a table in a boardroom trying to think what they can get away with putting her face on next.

This post will be a growing list of all the products Paula Deen endorses, or sells under the Paula Deen brand. If you know of a product not on this list, please drop us an email and we’ll add it.

Mattresses


In March of 2010, Paula got her own line of Serta mattresses which are currently priced between $799 to $1,499.

Furniture


Paula launched her furniture line in 2009. She’s selling beds, benches, dressers, mirrors, nightstands, upholstery, dining tables, chairs, cabinets, occasionals, consoles, and even that infamous “recipe writing desk.”

Miscellaneous crap


Don’t forget, Paula Deen has her own signature eyeglasses, wristwatches, hats, mugs, necklaces, insulated tote bags, bracelets, checkbook covers, gift baskets, grocery shopping check lists, playing cards, and aprons too.

Casino buffets


Aside from her restaurants, Paula actually has her own buffets at casinos like Horseshoe in Indiana and Harrash’s in Tunica.

“Designer” paper products


In May 2010, Paula partnered with Michaels craft stores to launch her own line of paper products. This is basically a bunch of crap that has “Hey Y’all” written on it. She’s currently selling tins, cupcake liners, coupon organizers, recipe boxes, recipe cards, gift tags, magnets, treat bags, stationary, and oh so much more.

A beach rental


Yes, Paula is actually RENTING OUT A HOUSE in Georgia, for $2,000-$3,000 a week. Apparently she’s a real estate maven now, too.

Rugs


In 2008, Paula signed an exclusive contract with Kaleen Rugs to create her own line of signature rugs. They’re currently sold everywhere from Amazon to Sears.

Cookware and kitchen tools


What doesn’t Paula have her name on? She’s got her own pots and pans, batter bowls, wooden spoons, salt boxes, spatulas, prep bowls, cast iron skillets, stock pots, crock pots, griddles, percolators, colanders, loaf pans, cutting boards, pie boards, salad bowls, measuring cups, knife sets, rolling pins, BUTTER WARMERS, paper towel holders, pie dishes, cutter sets, muffin pans, springform pans, fluted mold pans, hoecake pans, cookie sheets, cookbook holders, spoon rests, travel mugs, napkin holders, and yes – even her own Paula Deen signature cast iron snowman mold.

Foodstuffs


According to PaulaDeen.com, Paula has her own biscuit mix, hoecake mix, spices, seafood dip, cheese straws, marsh mud cookies, butt rub, house seasoning, silly salt, bbq sauces, dressings, nutty brittle, peach preserve, fig preserve, mac& cheese, grilling sauces, hot sauce, steak sauce, peanuts, marinades, ground coffees, snack mixes, moppin’ sauce, and party mix. Don’t forget her husband Captain Michael has his own line of coffee, too.

She also sells her own stuffed crab, crabcakes, wild wing pork shanks, catfish rollups, cowboy-cut rib eye steaks, pork loin, salmon rollups, and ham sausage.

Walmart


Paula Deen has her own line of baked goods at Wal-Mart, where she sells Original Gooey Butter Cakes, Apple Crunch Top Pies, Dark Rum Pecan Pies, and Old Fashioned Fudge Pies. (Regular FNH readers will no doubt recall the hundreds of e-mails we fielded from people who were revolted by the hideousness of the Paula Deen pies they purchased at Wal-Mart.) She sells a litany of other cakes and cookies on her website as well.

B Lloyd’s Nuts


In June of 09, Paula launched her own line of nuts with B Lloyds. She calls them “the most wonderful nuts you’ve ever put in your mouth.” I don’t know about that, Paula.

Philadelphia Cream Cheese


In 2010, Paula Deen was a spokesperson for Philadelphia cream cheese and launched the “Real Women of Philadelphia” contest.

Smithfield Foods


Paula has been shilling for Smithfield for years, and even famously got hit in the face by a frozen Smithfield ham back in 2009.

At this rate, y’all, could a series of Paula Deen designer toilets really be that far behind?

Are we missing something? Leave it in the comments or email me and we’ll add it to the list.



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Paula Deen Launching Designer Paper Products Line
---Dear Paula Deen, Please Stop Selling Your Nasty Pies At Wal-Mart
---Just What The World Needs: More Paula Deen Nuts
---Paula Deen In Legal Trouble
---Paula Deen’s Product Descriptions

    59 Responses

  1. Marley says:

    Good Christ. It just keeps going…

  2. Annie says:

    Does Michael’s coffee count? The only vegetable she should sell is mint. It’s the only one she uses when she makes one of her fattening desserts. I agree with you , she has become completely greedy and totally out of control with making money and selling everything under the sun.

    • FuryOfFirestorm says:

      Whenever she adds a sprig of mint to one of her million calorie cholesterol bombs and says “It’s healthy ’cause it has a vegetable!”, I get the urge to Falcon Punch her in the uterus.

  3. Annie says:

    Oops, I missed the coffee mention . My eyes were getting tired from reading all the products.

  4. Patrick says:

    Apparently, it’s not JUST a beach house now. She’s renting a condo down the street from The Lady and Sons.

    Mama needs another pound of butter.

    http://twitter.com/Paula_Deen/status/26470425093

  5. orchidal says:

    I don’t know – the “butt rub” seems appropriate for Pauler. [/12]

  6. Daria says:

    Wow it really hits home when you see all the products mentioned in one place. It is almost like she just says “yes” to any offer she gets to slap her name on something. At this rate the Deen boys children won’t have to work either, or their children’s children…

  7. CincyMom says:

    The only justice is that her stuff is being sold by the truckload at Ollie’s Outlet. You know, the cheap pans and kitchenware. Haven’t check to see if the matresses and recipe writing desks are there yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

  8. BUTT RUB???! says:

    seriously wtf is thatttt???!!!! did you sneak that in jillian or is that a real thing?

  9. Kocinera says:

    Wow.

    Part of me is nauseated. Part of me is confused. Part of me is mighty jealous. You know that Paula Deen is laughing her way to the bank with this stuff.

  10. ADITL1979 says:

    You forgot Mooby magazine…

  11. NotQuite says:

    I say good for her! Paula should ride this gravy train (pun fully intended) as long as there are stupid people willing to buy!

    And actually her furniture is really lovely. If it wasn’t so hideously overpriced, I’d totally buy it.

  12. MsFoodie says:

    Holy shit! The woman is a frigging walking bank account.

  13. coffee-n-toast says:

    Geez, that’s a lot of stuff. She prolly wipes her ass with $100 bills.

  14. Scruffy says:

    She’s a real-life Krusty the Klown…

  15. Hookerbot says:

    I’d buy a Paula Deen toilet, but only if that face was on the inside of the bowl.

  16. Lana says:

    Am waiting for the Paula Deen line of marital aids.
    ;-)

  17. Teague says:

    Did not need to see that picture of her lying on the bed.

  18. kross says:

    DO NOT EVER WASTE your money on Paula Deen’s baked goods!!! Her holiday pies that Walmart sells are the worst tasting crap I’ve ever put in my mouth. I had to throw the pie away. NO ONE would even eat it. It was dry and had no flavor. I can’t believe what she gets away with and those pies sell for over $10.00 each! Save your money and spend it on a Mrs. Smith frozen apple pie. They are much tastier.

    • Barb says:

      They’re ten bucks???? Holy crap. I get delicious freshly baked (sometimes still warm!) pies for 11 bucks down the road.

      • AJ says:

        This is so out of hand it’s almost embarrassing. I can’t believe she she has the nerve to sell that gooey butter cake at Walmart. You can just walk over to the grocery section and buy the ingredients for about 4.50.

  19. Chris says:

    Vegetables? Really?

    Remember that pathetic video of her trying to exercise by taking a walk?

    She was huffing and puffing and whining about how horrible it was like a first grader hopped up on HI-C.

    But apparently she’s SUPER SUPER SRS BSNS about a healthy lifestyle and vegetables, yeah and my left nut has a little face and whispers the answers of math tests to me in my sleep.

    Obviously all of those product lines are managed by PR people and hired goons. How could anyone on as much valium as Pauler possibly manage al that garbage?

    She must have signed a contract like
    “I certify that this is I, Paula Deen, and that the people who I employ can do whatever the hell they want as long as I get some cash and a bottle of Oxycontin Signed – *incoherent scribbles*”

    I think I’m gonna puke, pardon me.

  20. Robert says:

    Hey hey! It’s Krusty the Klown! I mean, Paula Deen! Hard to tell them apart after this post.

  21. Bonzy22 says:

    what a effin whore bag

  22. FuryOfFirestorm says:

    What a shameless whore.
    Next up: “Paula Deen’s Home Radon Gas Detector”
    “Paula Deen’s Yeast Infection Treatment”
    “Paula Deen’s Inflatable Love Doll”

  23. Lee says:

    I saw this on the news this morning, bf looked it up and said it was fruit and vegetable peelers. I knew I heard differently.

    I have never seen produce with a spokesperson. Also, I agree the furniture is nice, if overpriced.

  24. Carrie says:

    Maybe tubs of butter next

    ” Cant believe all this butter ya’all! “

  25. jvwalt says:

    When I saw that picture of Paula lounging on a mattress, I immediately thought of the old Marlon Brando mumbling, “Get the butter!”

    Okay, now how do I forget I ever thought of that??

  26. mort says:

    I’d love to know how the percentages are split between FN and Paula when people by this crap.

  27. AJ says:

    About a year ago, my husband mistakenly brought home her chicken and dumpling entree. It was terrible, over priced and unlike any i had ever eaten: 2 doughy biscuits and some strange grayish chicken gravy. Looked like something they would serve in a woman’s prison.

  28. momo says:

    I love that pink watch!!!

  29. Freezezzy says:

    On a related note, just today I saw a commercial for the most recent celeb chef tie-in: Melissa D’Arabian and Crispix cereal. She proceeded to make a salad with it, all while flashing that insipid grin of hers.

  30. PeteC94 says:

    You know, I don’t begrudge anyone the right to make some righteous $$ by whoring out their name and image but really Paula? Enough is enough. At this rate, in a few years you won’t even be able to shop at a Bed Bath and Beyond or True Value without running into that creepy blue stare.

    She is starting to remind me a little of “Mom” from Futurama: cuddly grandma while in the public eye and ruthless, soul-less tycoon in private.

  31. Nancy says:

    Talk about overkill lol
    I do have to admit I have one of her items tho..its a salad dressing bottle that comes with a mini immersion blender…and I love it. Its actually a little difficult to use with the bottle, but I use the blender to mix so many things in small containers, definitely worth it.

  32. renee says:

    Well, you know all bubbles eventually burst and that will happen to Paula sooner or later. And the more hot air that’s involved, the sooner the explosion.

    Look at what happened to Emeril. He was a huge star and had a lot of charisma, really much more than Paula or almost any of the watered down versions on FN today.

    But he promoted the shit out of products and was on the tv every time you turned it on.

    After a year or two the whole mess just exploded and Emeril became SO, SO 1998.

    I image the same fate will claim Paula especially as she no Emeril.

    Same logic seems appropriate for the huge gassy bubble surrounding Ms Ray.

    these two have personalitites and some charisma but nothing like what is needed to support an overblown bubble of fame.

    All we need to do is wait a bit. All the Paula and Rachel products will end up at Odd Lott or the 99 Cent Store.

    • AbacoPeach says:

      So true! Emeril did the same thing as Paula is doing now — becoming a caricature of one’s self. I do think Paula has surpassed Emeril in the products pimping business.

      I thought RR’s bubble would have busted by now, but she got an Oprah nod and a talk show.

  33. R-U-Kidding says:

    I’d love to see Pauler get into the TV Shopping Networks selling her own jewelry line. Then Joan Rivers could beat the sh** out of her for horning in.

  34. Teague says:

    Don’t know if someone already posted the obvious item. but didn’t see a pooper-scooper on the list.

  35. christellar says:

    LOL THE “HEY Y’ALL” keychain is just rediculous!

  36. R-U-Kidding says:

    Did everyone notice Jilian’s post of the Paula Deen buffet at Horseshoe in Indiana? Her commercials are SO sickening and she even invented a new crappy fake-southern pronunciation of “CASINUH” instead of “casino.” WTF says that? That alone is enough to make me avoid that buffet at all costs.

  37. Kelley says:

    If you look at Paula’s newsletter for this week you will find Paula’s cousin, Johnnie has a cookbook just out..What’s next? Gourmet birdseed from Ladybird the parrot?

  38. Mindy says:

    We laugh about all of this branded crap but people seem to love it. I went to Savannah (for reasons other than The Lady & Sons) and her store was jam packed, to the gills. People were lining up just to buy her wares and walking out with bags full of her merch. If she puts her name on it, it seems to sell. She probably figures why not put her name on it?

  39. weezer says:

    Oh god….I see NBC turning her dumb fat butt into a TV show. That would kill me a little inside.

  40. Emily says:

    You forgot about her overpriced Wal-mart candles!

  41. Andrea says:

    what the Hell? can you say cash whore, and to think I once loved this old bag. someone needs to stop this evil once and for all, what’s next? butter flavored condoms?

  42. Kitten says:

    You know when anyone has endorsements that go beyond their “specialty”, it becomes about MONEY. That’s it. As long as people buy that junk, they will continue selling cheap junk and find more.

    Checkbook covers?

    QUALITY doesn’t mean anything anymore. People just take what is put in front of them.

    Gross, who want to sleep on a mattress that Pawrlur advertises? Too, expensive. I’d rather sleep in my car or the floor.

  43. renee says:

    What is with Paula and her mispronunciations?

    Are they deliberate? I heard her recently describe the
    Japanese style batter to fry foods as tem-pure-ah.

    Is she in a competition with Gina Neely with her
    vin-ah-ger-ette and pap-er-eek-ah?

    Or are they just catering to folks that are so illiterate that think this is correct.

    It seems like the last thing much of the mass media is willing to do is to suggest to stupid people that there are things that they might benefit by learning.

  44. ed says:

    link for Paula getting hit with a ham doesn’t work.

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