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Rachael Ray Is On A Roll: PINEAPPLE WEDGES RECIPE
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Rejoice! The week of ridiculous Food Network recipes continues!
If you’re looking for something to eat with your Rachael Ray Late-Night Bacon, but don’t want to be inconvenienced by a pesky microwave, may we recommend Rachael Ray’s PINEAPPLE WEDGES RECIPE! It’s yum-O and delish!
Just buy a pineapple, cut it with a knife, and eat it! Wow. I’m so glad this recipe came into my life. All this time I’ve been just beating the pineapple against a rock and licking the juices up. Thanks, Rachael!
As usual, some of the reviews of the recipe on the Food Network’s website are hysterical. Laugh at them now, before Food Network deletes them because they have no sense of humor:
“I make this on special occasions and pretend like I came up with it myself! It’s always a hit at the annual office parties and everyone’s dying to know the secret!” -JustAddSomeLove
“I followed this to a t & did not like it at all! Those pretty green tops are very fibrous, as was the knotty skin attached to it. I don’t know why you have to make everything so difficult, Rachel Ray.” -JennyLola
“Oh Rachael, you’ve done it again! I have to admit, I always thought you were supposed to just bite into these crazy things like apples! But tonight Chester and I got up the nerve to try this recipe and it was a smashing hit! As you know from my many fan letters, Chester is my cat… he says meow meow (hello Rachael). We sat there with our little pineapple boats and watched an entire season of “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Chester mostly likes to rub his face on the pineapple but not me, I eat ‘em! ” -YJMML
“I’m so glad that she came up with this recipe. I’ve been using Sandra Lee’s recipe for canned pineapples and I sprained my wrist using the can opener. Thank you Rachel, my wrist has healed thanks to you!” -ilovegnomeland
“I made a HUGE mistake! I cut the wedges into 1/4 in. wedges and I don’t know how to fix it!! Please advise. (Please hurry with response. I’m kind of depressed about this and I don’t know what I’ll do…” -innagardenofeden
“Delightful! Made a simple adjustment: I substituted foie gras for the pineapple, and made an aoili out of my children’s tears.” -Bob Tuschman
You can read all the reviews here. Get ‘em while the gettin’s good!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---The 10 Funniest Reviews Of Rachael Ray’s Pineapple Wedges---Ridiculous Food Network Recipe Of The Week: Rachael Ray’s Store-Bought Angel Food Cake
---Ridiculous Food Network Recipe Of The Week: Rachael Ray’s Ham Steaks
---Ridiculous Recipe Of The Week: Rachael Ray’s Root Beer Floats
---Ridiculous Recipe Of The Week: RACHAEL RAY’S BROWN BUTTER
- Rachael Ray
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53 Responses
LOL. And the ridiculousness continues on. I have to say though I’m glad FN posts these recipes because the reviews are freakin’ hilarious. Comedic gold. I read all 205 reviews on the “late night bacon” “recipe” and man, funny shit!
Wait, are you supposed to “keep the green tops attached” to the skin or to the fruit? I’m so confused!
Those green pineapple tops really scratched my throat.
Is that you, Donatella?
Saddest of all? When I clicked on the link , I found:
You must be signed in to review this recipe.
Oh, evil Food Network, you have me RIGHT where you want me!
This is hilarious in light of “1 Ingredient Fix” joke in the previous article!
!! This is too ridiculous. If I had no sense at all, I’d say the FN was playing a practical joke. Or maybe they want the publicity…are they that smart?
(retract last question)
Unrelated to Food Network BUT related to food: you MUST read the Amazon.com reviews for Tuscan Whole Milk on Amazon. Some made me almost cry laughing.
http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=pd_sbs_a_4
Amazon didn’t remove the reviews because unlike FN, they have a sense of humor and know it drives traffic. The photo from the Big Lebowski is priceless :)
OH MY GOD those reviews are hilarious! I’m laughing so hard I’m crying, thanks for sharing!
some of those milk reviews are absolutely priceless. ROTFLMAO! I particularly liked “someone told me I should have used a glass, but that was not listed in the instructions”. best laugh I have had today — thanks Mel!
OMG…The milk reviews were awesome, but I think I just lost a solid hour poking around all the stuff tagged “Amazon Oddities”. My kids are now asking me for a can of Uranium.
Not food related, but the reviews for Zubaz pants and the Three Wolf Moon shirt area also hilarious. :-)
The milk review was actually found because someone looked up the Three Wolf Moon shirt, so it then led to the milk.
My favorite review is the person who can’t believe they can finally stop putting their cows through grinders to make the milk and love this white appearance rather than the bloody chunks.
I stumbled upon it while combing the internet for a unicorn castle shirt. Good thing, too, as gallons of milk are scarce in these here parts. $160 is a bargain!
You mean without the grinder… ???
OMG I am laughing my a$$ off reading the Milk reviews!
The Tuscan Milk reviews are hilarious. People over there are writing short stories about how the product enhanced or ruined their lives!
The one from the author who promenaded into the living room serving Tuscan Whole to guests in wine glasses on her grandmother’s silver salver is hilarious.
I kind of feel bad for the 2 people that had real reviews of the ‘recipe’ on there.
Were they real reviews? Actually I thought all the reviews were sarcastic. It was pretty amazing.
I LOL’d at the Sandra lee canned pineapple one.
That was my favorit one too.
Awwww…my pineapple servings did not look like a boat filled with fruit when I followed her directions.
It resembles more a botched episiotomy.
Sad face :-(
Hey! Let’s not get personal! Some of us can’t help looking like botched episiotomies…
Hahaha god damn this could have passed as a ‘recipe’ if it included some kind of a glaze or something.
But nope, just pineapple.
I had this recipe from FoodTVNetwork of maple syrup wedges, but I felt so bad cutting into Mrs Butterworth!!!!
<< is waiting for the steamed rice recipe next.
Ingredients:
Rice
Directions:
Steam rice
that’s too complicated, i think :)
I saw the title of this post and thought it was a joke. Silly me, I should know by now… Food Network means never having to say you’re kidding.
Bob Tuschman has children!?
Maybe in his bed? A la Michael Jackson
Bwaaaaahahaha! Tushie!
The best one for me was this:
“I got it confused with the bacon recipe and put it in the microwave. It tasted terrible but I think that may be because I accidentally overlapped the slices.”
Oh FN, you’re a parody of yourself.
I like the Wrigley Style hot dogs the foodnetwork offers:
a few dogs, a few buns, and whatever toppings you like
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/saras-secrets/wrigley-field-chicago-style-grill-cart-hot-dog-recipe/index.html
The only thing missing from those directions…
You put your left foot in,
You put your left foot out;
You put your left foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That’s what it’s all about!
To be fair (though I find Rachael Ray as annoying as the next person!) it does say “Method courtesy of Rachael Ray” .. not Recipe, which makes the “Ingredients: Pineapple” a little less ridiculous. Though its still nothing terribly clever ..
There are 2 possible reasons for this rise in “1 ingredient recipes”-
1) Food Network is now requiring it’s stars to submit recipes once a week/month/whatever, and Rachel & Ina are just half-assing it
2) Food Network pays big money for each recipe submitted by their stars, and Rachel found a fast, easy way to get a new diamond necklace.
“made an aoili out of my children’s tears”
BWAAHAHAAHAAA!!!
Loved the comments!
So if I peel and slice an apple or banana, does that also count as a recipe?
It certainly does. You should have your own cooking show. If Melissa D’Bacon can have one, so should you!
Well, I think the technical issues are similar, i.e., inedible bits and technique, so sure, why not?
Can you cut the banana like a little boat? Maybe if you split it lengthwise, and garnished it with something…ice cream possibly?
I’ve noticed she has been on a shepard’s pie kick recently. She did one for halloween with sweet potatos on top, and she has done one for one of the Thanksgiving shows with turkey and……sweet potatoes on top (covered in Cheddar cheese). I swear I’ve seen her do atleast one other.
Are they really this hard up for content?
Pineapples get wedges? I didn’t even know they wore under wearI
Pineapples get wedges? I didn’t even know they wore underpants!
damn…i didn’t think the post went through the first time…sorry for the double post.
A $39.00 plate of spaghetti? All I gotta say to that is..
for me to plunk down that kind of money for a plate of pasta, “Mare Monte” had better be a smoking hot girl the spaghetti was named for, and it had damn well better come to the table served in her vagina?
Well, duh?
So, I had to share….Late Night Bacon now has it’s very own facebook fan group, complete with some hilarious drawings. Enjoy!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Late-Night-Bacon/174199779259927?v=wall
And I forgot to mention that there is also mention of the above discussed pineapple wedge.
I look forward to the detailed instructions about pouring a glass of water. I hope to one day resolve the pesky problem of how to make ice cubes.
The earliest comment for the Pineapple Wedges seems to be from 2004. FN has been insulting the public for a long time.
I wonder how many more of these one-ingredient, common sense “recipes” they have over there.