Best Of FNH, Guy Fieri »

Matthew McConaughey Will Be On Guy’s Big Bite
Posted by Jillian Madison

Apparently for no other reason than to promote his ugly line of JK Livin apparel (that’s Just Keep Livin’ – with the letter “G” removed because it’s much cooler that way), Matthew McConaughey will be on a special episode of Guy’s Big Bite this Saturday, December 18 at 8 pm EST. This is a match made in heaven, considering how much McConaughey and Fieri have in common. They’re both middle aged douchebags that you sort of just want to kick in the groin without really knowing why. They have annoying voices, fugly wardrobes, phony personalities, and in 10-15 years no one will remember who the hell they were.

The good news is that if the world doesn’t blow up as a result of them blasting through the airwaves, the episode should be hilarious. There’s McConaughey cooing over “fresh squeezed lime juice” like it’s liquid gold. There’s Fieri wearing a hideous JK Livin visor that makes him look like his double-wide is parked out front. And of course, there’s the two of them playing an impromptu bongo interlude. Give me a fucking break.

Keep living… er- LIVIN… that rockstar dream, Fieri. And McConaughey, keep your shirt on and your marijuana hidden this time, you tool.

Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---FNH Episode Recap: Matthew McConaughey On Guy’s Big Bite (w/ video!)
---Guy Fieri-ish Flair Hair Visor
---Aarti On Guy’s Big Bite
---This Just Into The FNH Newsroom
---Things That Exist Solely To Torment Me: Guy Fieri Bobblehead Doll

    56 Responses

  1. GeoKaren says:

    at least Matthew is nice to look at – when he takes his shirt off, anyway.

  2. beth says:

    you owe me a monitor.

    coke. spewed. everywhere.

    “keep your marijuana hidden this time, you tool.”


  3. J. Thomps says:

    Liquid gold? More like “Fool’s Gold” am I right? Right? R..Right? … Fuck you.

  4. Rootietoot says:

    Why do they have to roll their lower lips in when they’re banging….on the drums?

  5. Diane says:

    I’m in an appreciative mood today, so I’m VERY grateful that they didn’t play the bongos naked. I would just have to shoot myself immediately…

  6. FNFAN says:

    LOL Jillian ur being too harsh on McConaughey. Whatever douchebagginess may or may not be there is MORE than made up for in his sheer hotness.

  7. SceneKnotHerd says:

    I second the comment of Matthew for eye candy. No speaking, please.

    Guy can bite one, for real.

  8. boke1 says:

    What’s with Guy’s visor? Or should I call it a Guysor? McConaughey. Probably told Miley where to get her salvia. Or as speech impaired Lori Stokes on ABC news called – saliva.

  9. Kyle says:

    It’s a doucheplosion.

  10. Lana says:

    Love it when Matt comes in and rubs Guy’s belly.
    *wicked grin*
    Intimate? Yes, FNH, oh yes.

  11. Daria says:

    I bet Guy is thinking this is so “kewl” – we are all thinking of how lame it is. JK Livin? Give me a break.

    • FNFAN says:

      Not lame. Guy–maybe, but Matt ain’t lame. And JK Livin’ comes from obne of Matthew’s lines from the SO not lame film “Dazed and Confused”.

  12. Lizzie says:

    I no more understand why women fawn over Matthew McConaughey than I understand why they fawn over glittery vampire boy or cuddly werewolf boy from the Twilight movies. McCanaughey has a nice enough body if you like that buff, over-toned muscle head stuff, but his face is so off putting for some reason. He also comes across as such a tool. Ugh. Give me Christopher Eccleston or David Tennant any day.

  13. Old71 says:

    WTF!!. Ferry is some type of friggin, shade tree bong player now!? Diiiiiiip Shiiiiiiit!!!!

  14. Andrea says:

    Oh great’ now every food-network show will have an self over inflated celebrity, I had to look at his face before I even knew who she was talking about. I’ve seen him on a couple of movies he’s okay’ but I can’t see why anyone would make a hype over him.

  15. REKS says:

    Ass barf…fucking Feri add to the fall of American with his China made glasses…boycott his products!

  16. Amy says:

    Oh god. A bongo interlude?!?!?! Food Network just OD’ed … Over-douched, that is.

  17. atdleft says:

    Be afraid. Be VERY afraid! “The Douche Factor” is about to rise exponentially on FN!

  18. Pots and Pains says:

    I would fawn over McConaughey even if he were on Aunt Sandy’s show. Not that Aunt Sandy could keep her clothes on and resist fawning over him, too.

  19. FatCat says:

    Okay, now I wanna see Tilda Swinton on Secrets of a Restaurant Chef and the ghost of Anthony Quinn on Aarti Party.


  20. boring week says:

    Whoever decided it’d be a great idea to have a Guy week should be taken out back and slapped around.

  21. Anne says:

    I have heard from friends who have worked on his movies that Matthew has some serious BO.

  22. Brent-o says:

    I completely agree with your assessment of McConaughey, Jillian. He’s so phony, full of himself, and just obnoxious, like he’s trying to lay on the “sexy” all the time. I don’t get his appeal (Though apparently it’s just that his looks must make up for all that).

  23. ralsteve says:

    These two are made for each other. Both total douche bags! McConaughey is SO full of himself and Guy considers himself the darling of TFN, I don’t know how they’ll fit their egos in the same room. It’s sure to be sickening beyond belief.

  24. MsFoodie says:

    Armageddon has arrived. Be warned all. Two ass pirates in the same room, how the hell will the world recover?

  25. Gypsy says:

    When I saw the commercial for this episode, my mouth literally fell open. I found myself dumbfounded and uttering, “no…no…no…” through the whole thing.

    Just…no. It hurts just thinking about it!

  26. Matthew says:

    All we need is a side of Duff Goldman to have the Douche Trifecta.

  27. Foodkiller says:

    In 10 years, Matthew McConaughey will be ten years older but the high school girls will be the same age.

  28. Miss Silver says:

    Oh GOD. The two biggest Douches – together in the same room – SRSLY wtf.

  29. Poppycock says:

    What is Guys deal with getting dirty? I’m sorry, I am a chef and have worked in many a kitchen and I have never seen any chef so terrified of being dirty. Dude your shirts aren’t that great, stop being a girl and get your hands dirty.

  30. Ginger says:

    I CANNOT wait to hear you both talk about this one! I saw the preview this morning and instantly got giddy over the jokes that are sure to flow!!

Post your comments

We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2014 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved