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27

Email Of The Week
Posted on January 31st 2011 by Jillian Madison

If you’re looking for some insight about the intelligence of the contestants on Food Network shows, here you go! I just opened my e-mail to find this lovely little gem from Jodi:

Yes, people really are this stupid, And yes, they’re Food Network fans.

Jodi, if you’re reading this, you should have at least mentioned which lame show you wanted to be on, you freaking idiot!


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Which Food Network Chef Has The Dumbest Fans?
---Correspondence With Food Network’s Snotty PR Rep Lisa Krueger
---Grillin’ With Bobby Flay: All Week on the Food Network
---FNH Reader E-Mail Of The Week
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Paula Deen Eyeglasses

    27 Responses

  1. oh_come_on says:
    January 31, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    P L E A S E let Jodi send a resume, P L E A S E Jillian!

    Reply
    • Ash says:
      January 31, 2011 at 9:44 pm

      AGREED! “So I saw that I needed to know how to boil water? I can totes handle that shiz!” Please send that spoof application!

      Reply
  2. Ray says:
    January 31, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Clearly she’s asking about Next Food Network Star. And, just as clearly, she’d be the winner.

    Reply
    • Plumpy says:
      January 31, 2011 at 10:54 pm

      I’m sure she easily meets the qualifications if she has:

      1. The intellect of a Chia pet.
      2. A big rack and/or an oversized Joker mouth.
      3. A lame catch-phrase or bizarre nervous tick such as giggling like a loon.
      4. A useless, weirdo spouse.
      5. No discernible talent whatsoever but still has the ability to persuade fellow simpletons to buy crappy cookware that falls apart the first time it is used.

      Reply
  3. Daria says:
    January 31, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    I’m guessing Worst Cooks, because those contestants are dumber than a bag of hammers.

    Reply
  4. Mishvanzant says:
    January 31, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    “you freaking idiot!” hahahaha I can’t believe how brutal you are, I love it!

    Reply
  5. Cynic onlooker says:
    January 31, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    God, please no–her grammar is atrocious. Based on that, she probably speaks terribly.

    Seriously, if I were an employer I would NOT hire her at all based on that inquiry e-mail (whereas if she went on Google and she could find the application within seconds).

    My guess is she wants to be on NFNS or Worst Cooks…

    Reply
  6. Kirk says:
    January 31, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Just how the hell do they find THIS site? I’d love to know what she searched on.

    Reply
  7. Diane says:
    January 31, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    FABULOUS!! It must be sooo tempting for you to screw with her head, Jillian. >:)

    Reply
  8. Teague says:
    January 31, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    Get her to send something. It would be great!!

    Reply
  9. Jodi says:
    January 31, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    Hey,

    I saw my email on the homepage so does this mean that I have been elected to be on the show next season?

    I even have my own catchphrase about surfing the spice wave into taste beach or is that too much like that Gay Firey guy?

    Reply
    • Steve says:
      January 31, 2011 at 6:25 pm

      Yes, you are a contestant on the show next season. Please pack your bags and get on the next flight to Duluth, MN, the location where the show will be filmed. Filming starts next Monday (February 7), so please get ready. Let us know when you’ll be arriving in Duluth so we can arrange for transportation!

      Thanks!

      Steve
      -Head of Recruiting for Contestants on the Next Season of the Show
      -Food Network

      Reply
    • imatroll says:
      February 1, 2011 at 11:35 pm

      TROLL! TROLL! I can smell you a mile away.

      Reply
  10. Lana says:
    January 31, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Dear Jodi,

    First fill out the “FOOD NETWORK: ON-AIR PERSONALITY APPLICATION” found on this site, then enclose a check for $10,000 made out to JILLIAN MADISON.

    You’ll be a shoe-in.

    p.s. I want to be your agent. I give 10% to my clients and charge 110%. Don’t worry about the math; we’ll take care of that for you too.

    Reply
  11. Tatiana says:
    January 31, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Jodi is a fine example of FN’s targeted demographic.

    Reply
  12. Audra says:
    February 1, 2011 at 12:04 am

    Poor Jodi, she knows not what she has done. Oh, Jodi, they mean no harm. Now, GET A FUCKING CLUE JODI! Jesus.

    Reply
  13. ron says:
    February 1, 2011 at 10:16 am

    So what you’re saying is……..I SHOULDN’T send my application here to be on the show next season?

    Reply
  14. ron says:
    February 1, 2011 at 10:18 am

    While I’m here….could someone please give me directions to the store?

    Reply
  15. SCGLive says:
    February 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Perhaps Jodi wanted to be on YOUR show next season? As in, maybe the podcast. In no way did Jodi indicate she actually wanted to be on the Food Network itself in any way.

    Reply
  16. Ina Garten DaVida says:
    February 3, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    FN needs a flow chart for prospective applicants:

    1. Do you have a sad personal history? Y/N

    If Y, can you presently cook? Y/N

    If Y, do you cook meals in under 30 minutes? Y/N

    If Y, END. We already have one of those.

    Et cetera.

    Reply

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