Guy Fieri »
I used to like the Ritz family of crackers… that is, until they made the horrific mistake of hiring Guy Ferry as a spokesperson to pump up sales leading into the Super Bowl. The big game is weeks away, but there’s already an obnoxious new commercial on TV which features Guy riding up in a small penis cracker-wagon and serving up gross things like “Ritz cheesesteak sliders” to pretty people at a fake tailgating party. A whopping 85 people on Facebook liked the video, so yeah! Uh, way to go, Ritz!
Here’s the thing, and correct me if I’m wrong: men don’t buy Wheat Thins and Triscuits, or make pretty little finger sandwiches out of Ritz crackers to eat while watching a football game. Women do that shit. And since most women slam their legs shut and instantaneously feel the urge to vomit upon the sight of Guy Fieri’s face, he certainly isn’t looking like the right choice to sell the Ritz brand.
Ritz is spending a lot of money on this campaign, too. An FNH reader named Kristin just spotted this lovely little cardboard display at her local Wal-Mart – complete with Guy’s lame little signature. “Put me off Triscuits for a week,” she said.
That is truly hideous. This Super Bowl, I think I’ll be opting for the Keeblers. Your mileage may vary.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---We All Want TO BLOW YOU UP, Fieri
---Things That Exist: A Guy Fieri Face Trivet
---Guy Fieri At The Celebrity Beach Bowl
---New Food Network Nintendo DS Games
---UPDATE: Guy Fieri Definitely, Positively Hosting “Perfect 10″ on NBC
- Guy Fieri