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America’s Next Great Restaurant on NBC
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I get a bunch of e-mails every week from people asking if I’m going to cover America’s Next Great Restaurant on NBC. The answer, quite simply, is NO. The show is God-awful. I watched two episodes, and I’m still bitter that I’ll never get that time of my life back. Bobby Flay’s lisp and Curtis Stone’s forced smiles made me feel suicidal. And I don’t know who the hell this Steve Ells person is, but he looks like somebody you’d find sitting in a sketchy van outside a playground.
And what about Lorena Garcia? Surely someone mentoring people on how to open America’s Next Great Restaurant would actually OWN A GREAT RESTAURANT, right? Yeah. You’d think. Too bad Lorena Garcia’s only “restaurant” is a tiny shop located in CONCOURSE D AT THE MIAMI AIRPORT!
So I hope that clears things up a bit. America’s Next Great Restaurant blows, and we will not be covering it. Thank you. And now back to your regularly scheduled Food Network snark.
(Thanks to Reid for the tip about Lorena!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---The Worst Restaurant Names In The World (35 Pics)---Say Goodbye To “America’s Next Great Restaurant”
---Iron Chef America Celebrity Judge Application
---Food Network Has The “Worst Cooks In America”
---Tyler Florence Showcases Taxidermy In New Restaurant; Insults New York Food Scene
- Bobby Flay
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52 Responses
That Ells guy does look like a diddler uh ?
Jill, you aren’t alone in NOT liking the show. America’s Next Great Restaurant has kept NBC in 4th place with 4 million viewers, against CBS, ABC and FOX collectively with 25.3 million.
Honestly, Chopped All-Stars Round 2 beat it by over 2 million viewers.
#NBCfail
i’m prettty sure that’s the same chick who judged the most recent episode of top chef, no? haven’t heard of her before, though.
I think you’re right. ( I believe Bravo is affiliated with NBC)
She did step away from the food court. to team up with Curtis Stone on the Biggest Loser last week. They were billed as two of the worlds ‘greatest chefs’. All I could think of is who the hell is that lady?
I looked at her website and her recipes are pathetically unoriginal… uhhh FRUIT SALAD BOWL? It’s just balled up fruit in a bowl?! So glad you posted how to do that Lorena!
“The Next Great restaurant” my ass’……..who the fuck died and made these assholes the deciders over what is considered great??
As if to prove my point……according to their “expertise”, there is actually potential for a restaurant called SAUCY BALLS to be a great restaurant!
I lost my appetite just writing the fuckin name…..who (in the heterosexual community) is going to want to buy food at a place called SAUCY BALLS?
I am heterosexual and I would eat at SAUCY BALLS every day if I could afford it while singing its praises because I share the typical maturity level of the average poster of this blog.
Also: Not reviewing ANGR because it’s a terrible show is no excuse – you review a ton of FN shows that are just as bad.
Also 2: Also Harder: The acronym for the show is ANGR. And it produces a lot of anger. Coincidence?
I don’t doubt for a minute that you’re a person who would love to have balls in your mouth!
You surprised me with your idiotic comment, because I would have guessed that you used up your supply of stupid to come up with your screen name.
I guess you stocked a reserve supply in your ass next to your fuckin brains!
The distant cousin of “Schwetty Balls”
I agree the show sucks. I believe the Steve guy is the guy that came up with the idea of chipotle.
I thought that Lorena Garcia image was a joke, but nope, if you click Restaurants on her official website, thats the image that comes up.
Shouldn’t she be embarrassed? Or at least have TRIED to come up with a better picture? One that doesn’t emphasize so much her fucking drink fridge and napkin dispenser?
You have to go back to her website and watch one of her “Caliente” clips. Forced doesn’t even begin to describe her onscreen presence (lots of squinting and flailing arms). Plus, those extras and that set… “Lorena, we’re going to need you out of her by five, we’re shooting a Magic Bullet infomercial.”
Steve Ells is the founder of Chipotle
We know.He still looks like a ped though.
….who wears lipstick.
… and looks like the love child of Mister Rogers and Carrot Top.
Trust me, it looked even creepier in HD. He looked like Bette Davis in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane”.
All I can think of is the South Park episode that had Billy mays selling Chipolt-away.
I think this is the commercial. I can’t get YouTube at work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK_EEjBRVok
Thank you for not covering ANGR! Its advertising and publicity have been way out of control, in my opinion
Leave it to Bobby Flay to team up with the founder of CHIP-O-TALAY(as Flay would say..) to host this lame show. That Steve dude scares me, I can’t understand most of what Lorena Garcia says, I don’t know who Curtis Stone is, although I’ve seen him on commercials for something or other, and Bobby Flay needs to go away for a while. Like a couple of years maybe? I tried to watch it thinking it would replace the hilarity (unintentional, of course) of The Next Food Network Star, but it’s just creepy all around.
My idea for a restaurant, Flay? Yoo Suk Wang.
I like the show. What I find hilarious is that Bobby Flay obviously can’t get his lines right. That or he either slurs then into gibberish.
The solution to that just seems to be a poor editing job, showing crowd pictures and scanning the contestants while the play a voice over.
I think even in last night’s episode I saw a back shot of Flay, his lips are moving but they don’t match to what he is saying.
Hilarious
Steve Elles is a pompus ASS HOLE! SAUCY BALLS RULE!!! LOL
Actually Lorena Garcia opened two other restaurants, Food Cafe and Elements Tierra, but for some reason her website doesn’t feature them. Still, though, I would expect real investors more like Ells to be on this show, rather than “sort of” chef investors.
That guy is totally giving me the heebie jeebies. He looks like Alton Brown’s pedo younger brother. I bet he has a dungeon of 4 year old boys in his basement….
Even if Curtis Stone has annoying forced smiles, who wouldn’t pork him?
I wouldn’t.
Wouldn’t touch his pretty boy douchebag penis with a 10-foot pole.
Well at least they didn’t call it ‘America’s Next Great Restaurant with Bobby Flay” Perhaps that’s only FN that is contractually obligated to do that.
Hardly got thru the 1st show. One contestant’s concept pitch included a blow-up tent thing. Saucy Balls, really? Just more FN sexed-up innuendo.
I heard the show is being cancelled(?)……
Ewww…that Ells guy is creepin’ me out big time!
Steve Ellis looks like the pedo offspring of Alton Brown and Howdy Doody.
Ells does scare me, he’s got the reddest lips and they look inflammed. The voice overs are so damn annoying too. Booby Flay can’t say anything right, I just imagine a lot of spit coming out of his mouth. I watch it because overall it’s a good concept. If there were better hosts maybe it would get more attention and viewers.
Seems like Curtis’s accent has gotten thicker as he’s gotten more famous, a la Pauler. Funny how that happens.
I’m disappointed in all this Bobby Flay and Steve Ells bashing. Not that they don’t deserve it a little, but where are everyone’s priorities? What happened to bashing Tyler Florence? I just don’t see enough of that any more. World’s biggest tool.
I don’t mention his name on this blog because I refuse to give him an ounce of publicity. I loathe him.
The show is ah’ite if you’ve had a few redwinez, but it’s supe lazy. The music and cut styles are EXACTLY the same as Top Chef. Weak.
Is it me, or do they also use the same backgrounds as Top Chef too? If so, all respect lost.
Why does booby flay always have that same stupid expression on his face. And a better question is why Stephanie March would marry someone that is so beneath her.
I watched part of it and couldn’t take it. It blows. I used to think Curtis Stone was a hottie but now I think he’s a nottie. Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” song keeps playing in my mind sarcastically when I see him.
All this criticism about Lorena Garcia’s joint from folks that own ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Who cares if we don’t own restaurants? We’re not on TV mentoring people about the business and how to open a “great restaurant” , you asshole.
This show is absolutely horrible.
Way over produced by what looks like 1st time producers or filmmakers.
The Voiceovers are all off. The editing is so dumb.
And the 4 judges are rich idiots who think just because they have money they can talk to people in any way they want.
It’s sad the contestants don’t just call these idiots out for frauds.
The worst is that mexican lady, OMG, stop acting.
Bobby Flay is a conceited prick, typical yuppie. Why are all chefs always angry?
Curtis dumb as a Stone is really a dumb guy. He really is. He gets away with things because of his looks. But the guy is really dumb, hyped up by 40 year old women who go for the face instead of his brain.
That Chipotle guy, OMG, SHUT THE F UP already. You are ruining your image of your restaurants. You sold your thing to McDonalds and you’re talking about healthy choices. STFU dude.
All 4 are horrible ego maniacs! The contestants are all idiots as well.
This is the worst reality show of the 21st century.
I surfed into an episode of this on April Fool’s Day. I thought it was a parody of Food Channel for the first five minutes and got some real guffaws.
Then I realized they were serious. The same cruel mockery I hate to see on the FN. I’ll never watch it again.
But they had me going for a few minutes.
I’m sorry, but every time I see Curtis Stone, all I can think of is that porn star/professional wrestler girl that called him out on Celebrity Apprentice for how bad his shit stinks.
hasn’t anyone noticed they’re all wearing the same lipstick!- the chipotle guy, bobby, curtis & joey balls. Either that or they’ve been making out between shots- that wouldn’t surprise me. Don’t worry they’ll turn any rest. that wins to a predetermined menu/business. I’m rooting for the Indian food-yummy.
Yes! Hilarious! The first thing I noticed was how they are all made up like drag queens. Was that intentional? Every one of them has a ruddy complexion and too much makeup.
I’ve been to that resturaunt (if you have the balls to call it that) and it is disgusting. I avoid that place at all costs when traveling. Blah. If you like your taste buds, then respect them and NEVER buy her over priced crap.
Bobby Flay has herpes on his lips. Steve Ells has horribly inflamed red lips. I wonder how that happened?
The lipstick! OMG! Do these guys not see what they look like on camera? I can’t watch the show anymore cuz the lipstick freaks me out so much!
If they keep Lorena, they really need to put her in a course where she can learn to speak English. Either that, or put subtitles/captions up when she talks. Her “accent” (if you can call it that) is so thick that it’s obvious she never bothered to learn the language properly.