General: Food Network, Twitter Conversations »

Stupidest Tweets To Celebrity Chefs: Part 1
Posted by Jillian Madison

You know what I really hate? Celebrity adoration. The blatant oozing, gushing, and fawning over random people you don’t even know, simply because they’re getting paid to entertain you. These days, perhaps nowhere is this activity more evident than on Twitter. You see, when we ordinary folk tweet that our steak was delicious or that we’re feeling under the weather, we’re usually met with a few genuine replies from friends or family members. However, when celebrities tweet – regardless of what they tweet – they’re met with hundreds of ridiculous replies from creepy people making laughably ridiculous requests of them (“come to my house and cook me dinner!”) and/or sharing boring anecdotes about their lives in a desperate attempt to relate to them (“My mom saw the back of your head on a plane once!”).

I used Twitter Search this morning to see what people were tweeting to their favorite celebrity chefs, and almost barfed at the results. Here are the 8 stupidest @ mentions to celebrity chefs from the past week, along with my replies which so eloquently detail what I would have tweeted back.  Of course, celebrities have to politely reply for fear of tainting their images. However, I don’t have such restrictions. God, I love not being famous!

(Note: these are simply my sarcastic replies, and in no way reflect what the chefs may or may not have been thinking.)

Really, Twitterverse? Come on. I’m not saying you can’t like celebrities; I’m just saying there is a line that needs to be drawn. DRAW IT, PEOPLE.

Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Twitter Predictions
---NEW RULE: Stop Asking Celebrity Chefs To Re-Tweet STUPID SHIT
---Celebrity Chefs In Drag
---4 Chefs Who Should Be On Celebrity Apprentice Instead Of Curtis Stone
---The Private Chefs of Beverly Hills Drinking Game

    30 Responses

  1. Amber K says:

    Sad. And people wonder why I refuse to get on twitter…

  2. DNAlx says:

    Booo, hiss, Jill. You’re basically undercutting the entire principle of twitter! If twitter is my only way to tell Anne Burrell I F-ing love her bucatini all’amatriciana recipe, then so be it. It’s better than writing a review on so the next person can say, “this was great; I added 100x more garlic”.

    I don’t want to have to send a twat @ Anne and worry about being put up on FNH!

    Also, I think “What would Anne Burrell do?” EVERY TIME I’M COOKING ANYTHING. The answer is normally salt, bacon, or olive oil BTW.

    • The entire principle of Twitter is to send pointless messages to celebrities? If that’s the case then yes, I’m undercutting it.

      And where did I write you can’t tweet celebs to tell them you enjoy their recipe? Or their movie? That’s not the case. As I wrote in the article, I’m not saying you can’t like celebrities; I’m just saying there is a line that needs to be drawn. DRAW IT, PEOPLE. There’s a difference between saying “I enjoyed your book” and “OMG OMG OMG U R SOOO BAD ASS, I LOVE YOU, COME COOK FOR ME AND LETS HANG OUT”

    • KD says:

      I tend to agree. Some of these really are quite silly, but a couple aren’t too bad. For example, how do we know that Anne Burrell isn’t really friends with Caity Taylor? It’s quite possible that they’re old friends!

    • Sue Z says:

      “I don’t want to have to send a twat @ Anne and worry about being put up on FNH! ”

      I’m not sure it’s possible to send one of those through Twitter. But we get the point…you REALLY love Anne.

  3. Robert says:

    This gem from Realpaulgulyas needs mention:

    What I wouldn’t give to be a deep fried hot dog going into Guy Fieri’s mouth.

  4. Pishposh says:

    Wow, some of these pass annoying go straight to creepy. If I were a celeb, I would not get a Twitter. I’d prefer the old fashioned snail-mail stalker, so at least there’s the chance of fingerprints on the letters (but also anthrax, hmm).

  5. Daria says:

    These are pretty funny and I can see Jillian’s point. The dude asking Guy F. if he has a girlfriend is really off the wall. I’m not even a Guy fan, but even I watched his “chefography” and know that he has a wife.
    Also, I heard the food at Lady & Sons was pretty terrible. I bet the person who sent that tweet actually thinks Paula is still cooking back there in the kitchen.

  6. Lana says:

    Ok, I just really have to know what an OCDEvent is. No one else curious?
    I just can’t stop thinking about it!
    Must go to the OCD Event.

    • Gromky says:

      CDO! CDO! CDO! Right order. Must put them in the right order.

      To be honest, I would not want to attend an OCD event. I’ve worked with those whose OCD doesn’t quite mesh with my own, and endlessly fixing what they set up wrong sucks up a lot of time.

      Can you imagine an entire room, or arena, of people going around endlessly fixing and refixing things? Plus, the fights over the sinks would be brutal.

  7. Carla says:

    I love Anne Burrell’s reply to one of her fans:

    • Currer Bell says:

      There was one the other day when someone tweeted to Anne that she didn’t win the Chopped All Stars with grace. She replied that she won it with food.

  8. Plumpy says:

    Those are all pips but I’m particularly bemused by Paul. Like his idol, Guy, apparently he uses his head only to keep the rain out of his neck.

  9. Diane says:

    That last one has me grinning. Does he think Giada is all ‘a’twitter’ (sorry, couldn’t resist) because some skeevy guy has been masturbating to her for years?
    Dude…this is where restraining orders start, seriously.

  10. Deaner says:

    I like how the first guy’s handle makes note of the fact that he’s the *real* Paul Gulyas.

    Because, Lord knows, there’s an awful lot of Paul Gulyas imitators out there.

  11. danenjoys says:

    I was legit worried that I was going to be mentioned in this post because I tweet stupid crap to Anne all the time.

    Like… I literally scrolled down super slow because I was nervous.

    Love this post, Jill. :]

  12. Anne says:

    While some of these tweets verge on the obsessive, Anne Burrell’s wise ass response may lose her more fans than she gains. I can see her not caring though.

    • ron says:

      I had a Twitter account for all of one day…until my friend found out and twittered, tweeted (whatever the fuck you call it) that he was at Target buying socks!
      I didn’t answer him….I deleted my account.

      • Brent-O says:

        You should really give it another chance. It’s not only for viewing your friend’s inane status updates (which was my opinion at first too). I enjoy seeing what’s trending, personally, and seeing what people are saying around the world about things in the news. Also, I follow some really funny celebrities whose tweets occasionally brighten my day.

  13. Neuf says:

    I’ve found that stupidity is running rampant lately and Twitter is the Mothership.

  14. Darryn says:

    @ the last pic:

    God Bless you, Jillian Madison.

  15. Julia says:

    It’s sad about that one dude.

    I thought Cicero was a Stoic….but I guess even Giada can move some men to passion.

  16. Richard says:

    The onion thing should have been sent to Scott Conant,

  17. Tom says:

    Paula’s Restaurant, “The Lady and Sons,” isn’t as good as she thinks it is. While in Savannah last August, I went down at 9:30 a.m., waiting in an enormous line and we (wife and I) ate there for dinner around 5 p.m. I was disappointed to say the least. Now, in her defense (if she has one), it was a Sunday and they only do a buffet. But, since one could assume that the buffet includes dishes which could be ordered off the menu any other day of the week, it’s pretty much the same food. And again, it was disappointing grub. I cook much better than those folks. Now, her brother’s place, Uncle Bubba’s was MUCH better. Better parking (actually there is no parking where TL&S is located), better ambiance, and absolutely, better food. All this hype over PD’s downtown Savannah eatery is just that – hype. Don’t waste your time OR money.

Post your comments

We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2014 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved