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LISTEN TO THE LATEST PODCAST: Episode 20
THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.
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(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
99 Responses
the picture for cocktail time is perfect. great post! :)
yes it is
I like that Guy is careening through a parking lot while mugging for the camera. Nothing like neglectful manslaughter to get your appetite whipped into a douchey frenzy.
Reminds me of Maurice Sendak’s “Alligators All Around.” I wonder if Carole King will put this one to music too?
;-)
I’m very discouraged and bitter that Guy Fieri is more successful than I am.
I’d like this if there was a like button. It would be nice to get paid to act like an idiot.
Well, Anjarew, ‘success’ in this instance is relative. Yes, he has 84 different shows on FN and probably makes some $$, but I don’t look at your picture and think, “Ugh! What a disgusting DOUCHE!!”
To me, that makes YOU the more successful one.
You nailed it :)
i’d like to add ZZZZ: ‘cupcake wars’
Goes along with Horrible Shows methinks ;)
Have you ever seen DC Cupcakes on TLC?? More scripted than an MTV show…
Oh my gosh, DC Cupcakes. I’ve watched it a few times, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen those ladies complete an order on time. Not really incentive to give them business…
It is def. scripted. Horrible show.
Masterpiece Jillian! The tablescapes alone would have defeated a lesser artist. Made me think of Dr. Phibes!
lmao! effin hilarious! love the “stupid spouses” hahahaha
OMG…I scrolled too quickly an went past the caption; I couldn’t figure out what XXX was and thought you may have slipped in some real (hard core) porn. LMAO
“Slipped in….” LOL! Giada’s got quite a fleshy pork chop. ;)
I’m glad the caption was there or I never would have been able to figure out they were pork chops.
Kwanzaa cake is the all time, food network fail…
belongs in a museum for what not to do
That one is so wrong on so many levels it could have it’s own alphabet.
Now I know my ABC’s, next time won’t you sing with me.
Love ‘em!
Nervous giggles! I love it.
But I don’t think Jeffrey can be included in the “stupid spouses” part. He’s so cute and not annoying!
No B is for BROWN FOOD? tsktsk
K is for Korean
M for minute to win it.
W- using your font, just photoshop it over Giada’s “girls”.
you really couldn’t come up w/ anything for P… H kinda sucks too, but everything else is spot-on.
H definitely needed to be a split screen – maybe several of them.
Could have had a better foodgasm I think. Love the wtf jeez how does she even do that? F’ntastic!
C, H, R, X, and Z are my favorites. Especially Z for zombies.
Hahah Bobby looks so evil in that pic – esp. considering it’s a Christmas season promo.
But he definitely deserves the J …
Just thinking – maybe Brian Boitano deserves an A for Ambiguous lol!
F- Frozen Bacon
S- either Super Simple or Sodalicious
I liked the “M” one. Does it make me a sick man if I was slightly aroused by it?
Win!! :-D
Except I like my sweet Jeffrey Garten! ;)
Same here! I kind of like him, too!
N – Next Food Network Star Farces/Fiascos
What a sad state of affairs the Food Network has become. I miss Emeril.
I can’t stand Emeril…I miss the people who actually cooked something and you could learn from. The Foodnetwork itself is ALMOST as funny as this website, except it’s so ridiculous and sad!
What about Debbie for “I”
I am Korean.
Ah, Debbie. A year later and she’s still good for jokes.
That Tyler Florence show–I don’t even know what it’s called–looks hideous. Lunch trucks AND Tyler–bleeaarrrggghh.
Big meat is soooooo right on several levels!
Oh yeah, B for babe-alicious. Love me some Anne Burrell.
FABULOUS!!!
Way funny! Love them all. You have some great stuff on here. Keep it coming!!!
How about “L” for (The) LAST Food Network Star” – enough already! I mean, Melissa D’Arabian’s commercial for her dumbass show “Are you ready? I think the world’s ready . . .” No we’re not! Nobody is ready to watch or make the crap she makes! I shudder to think who FN will be shoving down our throats after the finals tomorrow night. And I don’t even watch the show!
Speaking of NFNS, coincidence or not… Has anyone noticed that a lot of the “themes” of the shows this morning include some sort of Indian cuisine?
Well, if FN is going with an Indian cooking show, I won’t be tuning in to that one. No offense to the Indian population out there, but I really dislike Indian food (except warm naan smeared with butter or ghee).
I noticed that! Especially this weekend ! Rachael Ray made “Almost Tandoori” Chicken and all of the episodes were indian-esque… I loathe to think that AArti PArty is going to be on tv this weekend !
I just want to smack that “Welcome to my world” piece right out of her…
The very idea of a Kwanza Cake has “Neelys” written all over it (insert eye roll here). After seeing them put together their horrid breakfast parfaits (with boiled eggs, bacon and grits- what. the. eff.) I’m going to go out on a limb and say that those things adorning the cake that look suspiciously like corn nuts, are probably corn nuts.
Actually Sandra Lee made that Kwanzaa cake..its on youtube
I’m speechless.
That’s right – Aunt Sandy made it. Angel food cake with canned frosting. And candles you normally put in candle holders, not stuck in a cake. What a mess.
And even though those corn nuts are obviously corn nuts, she called them “acorns”.
Hehehe, zombies. Mmmmm, brains.
C should have been CAN’T COOK. Other than that, genius. Great work.
Funny stuff!
How do you know that the Food Truck show will be horrible if you have not even seen it yet?
You’re kidding, right?
did you see jeans that Tyler Florence is wearing?
Well I’m watching it right now and FNH hit the nail on the head yet again. Its HORRIBLE and Tyler looks like a Hot Mess!
It’s on Food Network, right? Nuff said.
Giadas mouth is HUGE!!!! OMG ‘M’!!
Bobby Flay should have =
Jackass
how is it that i’ve seen that photo of alex dozens of times now & i never fails to spook me right out?
*it never fails
I lol’d so hard at the last two my sides started to hurt!
I’m sad that Paula got veneers. I guess she wants to look as bad irl as her airbrushed pictures on magazine covers.
I don’t understand… How does Alton Brown have a speech impediment? Other than making me cringe when he says “oh bother”, I don’t hear anything wrong with the way he speaks.
Apparently because he says ”Uh” or “Umm” several times when he’s talking that makes it a speech impediment. It’s not really a big deal. I think maybe because he isn’t glued to cue cards like most of the others..
So so so funny!
One little thing though, (or 2 big things depending on how you look at it/them). I really think Giada should’ve had B for her Breasties.
Thank you FNH for making every day funnier. :)
my favorite is T. hahahaha!
The letter K made me spit my Diet Fanta Zero Orange soda! That stupid cake is why god invented filters for cameras, blackout filters.
Is there no end to the hideous, exaggerated mouth deformations that RR makes? Makes you want to shove anything in that gaping maw – like a big steaming cup of shut the f*** up.
Love the letter O Over- enunciate! I absolutely LOL with this!
What is wrong with Rachel Ray’s mouth??? I couldn’t believe that she was actually making those expressions when i first clicked on this site where the pic is where she says CHIVES! but now i am actually believing she has some kinda of weird mouth distortions! Actually come to think of it, Giada has the WIERDEST gaping teeth smile… and her eyes do not crinkle when she “smiles” which is the sign of a true smile (when your eyes crinkle). she just pulls her mouth back like a Dr Phibes character. Is Food Network trying to get the most weirdest characters? well maybe its like they said on the Next Food network Star – ‘we want someone to win who can be someone’s freind when they tune in” man… even if that is true, i’d be too scared for any of these wackos to be my freind.
and is that Darabian with the letter A or that other chic? with their faces spazzing out so much i cant quite tell.
I can’t watch Rachael with all her mouth distortions–it goes up, down, and all around while she talks with that reptile tongue flicking out, and it’s big enough to fit a football in. Her mannerisms make me insane.
if her eyes don’t crinkle it’s probably too much botox
You always manage to grab the BEST screenshots of these people ever! LOVE it!
With Sandra for T it should have Been T is for Tipsy
This was facking HILARIOUS!!!!! CRYING!!!!
[...] [...]
I think this could be updated quite frequently, although some could stay constant, like K, no matter how much it hurts our eyes.
Every time I stopped laughing really hard, I saw another Aunt Sandy pic and it started again
Foodgasms and Zombies make me laugh my ass off every time I look at them. Thanks for re-posting them!
HA HA HA!!! The table scape is so bad. And that pork chop for X- what the…?!?!??!?!
Great post, I am cracking up.
Well when something is rated X it usualy means that there are sexual images portrayed, you might not see it but the picture looks offly like the female genitialia
this is horrible. you are a terrible person. everyone on food network is nice and carrying stop talking crap about all of them. Your disgusting
*caring and *you’re – learn how to SPELL
It’s just humor! Get over it..
And you know this becauuussseee…… I’m pretty most of those guys are douchebags.
Sincerely, President of Food Network.
It’s just supposed to be funny. Just because they are “nice” doesn’t mean we can’t have a laugh.
(to the WTF!? picture…)
OH MY GOD WTF?!?!
KILL IT!
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
I think the Foodgasm lady is a guest judge on Extreme Chef.
(What!?! Someone WATCHES that show!?!?)
My mom used to…. Yeah, it wasn’t that great
You think that because he donated $100 it makes him untargetable for mockery? Yeah, he’s got a speech problem. It’s a problem they tend to cure you of in public speaking 100. I’d make fun of him for it too, it doesn’t mean I don’t love his show.
He donated I’m sure after having already taken a look at the website. I’d be willing to bet he has a sense of humor.
I don’t think this person is Alton Brown.
Alton donated money after having seen the website in which Jill makes fun of him (and FN hosts in general) several times. It’s called having a sense of humor and not being self important. I mean, really? Alton gave FNH money and now Jill can’t write anything about the man? I doubt it.
If you watch Good Eats or ICA you’d know Alton is always doing something silly and amusing all the while demonstrating his tremendous knowledge. The man appreciates a good joke. You should try to do the same @whiskeytangofox.
Unless Whiskeytangofox IS Alton…
In fact, he himself has even mocked his speech impediment on his show, so I KNOW he doesn’t take it that seriously.
I think he donated the money so he could keep reading this website and laughing at other “stars’” misfortune. :)