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Quote Of The Week
Posted by Jillian Madison

Steve Albini is your typical musician turned food blogger (insert eye roll here). His recent quote in LA Weekly on the world of celebrity chefs was amusing and spot-on:

Most TV cooking is repulsive. Frathouse cocksuckers with gimmick hairdos and catch phrases, hooting and hi-fiving, “bringing it,” celebrating gluttonous sports bar chow. Dipshits abbreviating their ingredients and making childish, cutesy-poo “comfort food” full of “yummy veggies,” shit like that. Detestable. You can spot the people who have their shit together because they don’t have to tell you how delicious their food is.

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    42 Responses

  1. Hippy_Longstocking says:

    I absolutely loathe the word “veggies”.

  2. Tom says:

    Sounds like this guy is attempting to channel FNH. Not exactly original. The Tom Cruise thing was great.

    • EVOOOOOOO says:

      Yeah, I htink Steve Albini is trying to imitate this here website. Probably so. Mmm-hmm. Really, I don’t think there can be any doubt. Nailed that Steve Albini on that one, you did. Fucking copycat Steve Albini, making fun of the Food Network. He’s a FRAUD and should be STRUNG UP by his TESTICLES, assuming they haven’t shruck all the way up into his body from being such a SHAMELESS THIEF!


    • Ryan says:

      You obviously don’t know much about Steve Albini. He is a good guy and I don’t know why you think just because he makes fun of cooking show personalities, he is ripping off this website. He is one of the most well known and prolific record producers – he estimates that he has produced 1500-2000 records. And of all those records, he has never taken royalties. He charges a flat recording fee and even that is based on how much the band can pay, so he is able to work with huge stars as well as smaller bands. So I don’t think he needs to rip off a pop culture humor site to make a name for himself.

      • izzy says:

        It’s funny then that the one quote of his that has gone viral is the one where he ripped this site off.

        • Orni says:

          Yeah, it’s just impossible that someone could have watched FN and not realized Guy was a frathouse cocksucker and Rachael a dipshit, if they’d never seen this site

        • RosieB says:

          Gone viral? Maybe 14 hours a day isn’t enough for me to cover all of the internet….but I haven’t seen this quote anywhere but here.

          Also: Steve Albini has always been a character. Saying something like this is pretty standard. Do people outside of Chicago just not know who he is? The dude pretty much MADE Nirvana!

          • megasnorkel says:

            He didn’t MAKE Nirvana. He produced In Utero, not Nevermind. Nirvana were already MADE by the time they worked with Albini.

            At any rate…”Steve Albini is your typical musician turned food blogger” and Jillian is the typical person who has never heard of Steve Albini.

      • SL says:

        My old band stayed with Albini one weekend to record an album.

        Every meal was carnivore overload. The man knows how to cook some meat.

  3. coffee-n-toast says:

    Nailed it. And THAT is why I love Laura Calder (French Food at Home on Cooking Channel) and David Rocco (Dolce Vita – same channel). Neither of them use stupid catch phrases or go ape-shit over their food like you need to be convinced they can actually cook. These are the only two cooking shows I DVR.

    Jillian, if I could send you The Cooking Channel as a gift, I would. Only having access to Food Network is an atrocity.

    • Kim says:

      I’m becoming a big fan of The Cooking Channel. I even like Chuck’s Day Off despite his oohing and awing over the food. And Jamie At Home? Where has this been all my life He is so genuine and into food.

      • Hobbygourmet says:

        Agreed. However, they’ve got some real dipshits over there too. (Mooking & Mo Rocca immediately come to mind)

        • coffee-n-toast says:

          Oh don’t get me started on those two. I’ve expressed my Mooking hatred here before, and Mo Rocca’s voice makes me so angry that my fists are balled up by the end of his commercial. How did that idiot every get employed with a voice like that???

          • Hobbygourmet says:

            Lol. First time I heard “obedient ingredient” did me in. WTH? The other idiot I couldn’t even get past the intro.

          • Drusilla says:

            Mooking’s restaurants in TO are just plain terrible, too. He’s an all around FAIL.

      • pk says:

        I can’t stand Chuck’s Day Off. That guy’s voice makes him sound like he was dropped on his head as a baby.

        Cooking Channel was fresh to me when I first got it, now their redundant commercials make me want to puke, the way they are always including the phrase … “they’re always finding new ways to stay [fill in the blank]“… passionate. satistfied. hungry. whatever…

        and barf on the Debi Mazar cooking show. Laura Calder is the only good thing on that channel. LOVE HER

    • dave says:

      The only thing that annoys me about French Food at Home is the shitty camera work which makes it unwatchable for me. How hard is it to keep the camera stable and properly focused?

  4. Mamapyjama says:

    Let us not forget Ina G. and her “How good / easy (whatever) is that?” Also “This is going to be so-o-o-o good.” “Good” ingredients (vanilla, spices, whatever) is shorthand for “Available only from my hideously expensive former gourmet shop.”

    Oh, and we get it, Giada. You’re Italian.

  5. Sian says:

    I have only one word for this.


    • Aimee says:

      Gaaaaaah! Or “delicious”. Makes me want to retch.

      • Boke1 says:

        Or as Sandra, that half-witted Kitchen Kratiing hack says “Sooooo duh-lish-us.” How canned fruit cocktail and marshmallow fluff can be described that way is sooooo ree-dic-you-luss. Pass that nasty ambrosia, please!

  6. Boke1 says:

    Water is wet. Who knew?

  7. Angel says:

    That quote was spot on. The phrase “gluttonous sports bar chow” is pretty much how you can describe a huge amount of the stuff featured in FN.

    Best, and keep on blogging.

  8. Jesakuhkay says:

    … And that is why I adore Alton Brown.

  9. April says:

    Steve Albini is such a crab-ass. A curmudgeon. But he’s spot on!

    • RosieB says:

      That’s what’s great about him! I say we celebrate the curmudgeons! It’s what’s given Andy Rooney a career in broadcast media for the past 300 years.

  10. Teague says:

    He’s right on the money.

  11. emjeff says:

    Boy, did this guy get it right!

  12. Cherdan says:

    Steve Albini is a real asshole, but the guy is fucking brilliant. And he’s an amazing cook; a real Italian (Sicilian.. drool) who knows real Italian cuisine, just look at his blog. How I wish I were his wife. Yes, been a “fan” for many years.

  13. JackEughlayte says:

    Steve, that’s beautiful man, beautiful.

  14. Ava says:

    I can’t stand Nadia G. She makes my ears bleed. The spice agent? Hans? If you watch the actual portion of the show that’s “cooking” it might comprise 5 minutes.

    • Drusilla says:

      Who doesn’t love an offensive cultural stereotype?

      Seriously, Nadia makes the Jersey Shore crew look like the contestants from Jeopardy.

  15. VictorV says:

    I don’t know, the whole entire quote culminates into that last line, “you can spot the people who have their shit together because they don’t have to tell you how delicious their food is.” Given that this is about celebrity chefs in particular, this idea is ridiculous. I hate Giada but her pastas are delicious. In the television medium these people have to sell their recipes in a way that says “delicious” without being able to let you taste or smell it. She HAS to sell the pasta to me or I wouldn’t try to make it myself. Would you be entertained if the chefs on FN just told you how to cook the meal and then said “see ya” and left? That’s absurd. I think this guy is full of shit as far as television personalities go. I may agree that it’s becoming all catch phrases, but why can’t a chef say something they made tastes good?

    • RosieB says:

      I think he’s taking it from a musical perspective. A band doesn’t have to tell you how awesome their new record is and how much it’s going to change your life. They just play the tunes and you fall in love.

      Granted, music is a very different form of expression than food, and relies on sound (and visual sometimes) instead of flavor and texture….but the point still stands. If the food doesn’t look good enough on TV that you don’t automatically believe it to be tasty, then repeatedly making reference to the tasty-ness of it all doesn’t mean jack. (i.e. Sandy & Rachael)

  16. Adam says:

    Steve Albini has a food blog? Steve Albini, who recorded an album with his band, Big Black, entitled “Songs About Fucking”? The same Steve Albini who fronted a band called Rapeman? Sweet.

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