NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.
Rejected Got Milk Ads From Food Network Hosts
---Twitter Conversation With Adam Gertler
---Milk Just Got A Whole Lot Safer!
---Alton Brown Donates $100 To FNH; Offers To Match Pledges Of Other Food Network Hosts
---If Food Network Chefs Advertised Other Brands
Best Of FNH, General: Food Network »
Rejected Got Milk Ads From Food Network Hosts
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Update: Adam Gertler sent us a Twitter message asking us to create a Got Milk ad for him, too. We’re happy to oblige, Adam.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Rejected Got Milk Ads From Food Network Hosts: Part 2---Twitter Conversation With Adam Gertler
---Milk Just Got A Whole Lot Safer!
---Alton Brown Donates $100 To FNH; Offers To Match Pledges Of Other Food Network Hosts
---If Food Network Chefs Advertised Other Brands
- Best Of FNH
- General: Food Network
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
92 Responses
Hahaha…”got good milk”!
Excellent! I think giada’s should’ve read “got boobs?”
LOL! Rachael Ray’s day is 44 hours long? Haha!
Because we all know she can’t do more than one thing at a time. LOL forgot to add that.
How can that be when she carries around everything at once?
Her 30 minute meals are about an hour’s worth of work for people without a staff, so the math does work
OMG that’s so freakin’ hilarious. I almost busted out laughing at work when I saw the RR pic. Great job!
These are FANTASTIC!!
Or as Aunt Sandy would say, it’s “FIN-TASTIC” & “SOOOOOOOODALICIOUS”! ;-)
Ina looks like she’s saying “how bad can that be?” And I love her in a light blue shent!
I’m sure Sandy could think of at least a dozen cocktails to make using milk.
Thank me later–LOL
O.M.G.
That is HILARIOUS! And so right on point, too! Gonna have to retweet that!
(P.S. It’d be absolutely perfect except for one tiny thing… “protein” is spelled incorrectly! Then again, if Sandra Lee actually wrote it after drinking KAHLUA in her milk… LOL!)
Thanks – that’s what happens when I type too fast. Fixed the error.
LMAO! My favorite was Ina’s–and at the very moment I was reading it, I was watching the episode where she was fixing a French dinner for her 3 gay card club friends.
I think Aunt Sandy’s should have said “Got Melk?”
Great idea! Changed it in the post!
lol too funny
“Got Melk” was the perfect touch! Also love little Newman’s milkstache, too! ;^)
Thanks! Newman is a cutie!
I hate that pronunciation of milk! Sandy’s going to make one heck of a “first lady” for NY, considering no one will be able to understand what melk and russipies are.
She also says egg/eggs funny….
AAYGGS!
It must be a new York thing, cause I knew a girl who had moved down and she said “ayggs” too. She also said “cranes” for crayons and that drove me up a wall.
i think that giada’s lips are reflecting the remains of her cumjob. i wish she had creativity in her damn show
hahahaha omg funniest thing everrr
What the hell is in Claire`s mouth?
I know, it scared the hell outta me.
I was wondering the same thing! Does she have two sets of upper teeth? Was she imitating a horse? What did Newman think of that picture?
The world wants to know!
maybe it’s a dog biscuit.
OMG LOL! That was my first thought, right after WTF?
GMTA, my friend!
too funny!
“I’m one busy bitch.” HAHAHAHA!! These were hilarious! I don’t know if you saw Adam Gertler’s tweet but he’s begging you to do one with him in it too, said he’d donate “Alton’s anti-harassment fee” lol! Thought it was pretty funny!
Seriously, “I’m one busy bitch” had me literally laughing out loud. Comedy gold.
Am I the only one who thinks Claire looks like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror?
YES! I mean, no you’re not and YES SHE DOES.
Nope. I blogged that here in the Forum here a while back — totally looks like Tim Curry. :^)
Oops….delete one of the extra “heres.” LOL
OMG YES! I thought I was the only one who heard Aunt Sandy saying melk! My mom and sister claim not to hear it.
“homosexuals run me ragged”
lmao. Highlight of my day. I’m surprised you didn’t make one of Guy Fieri or Paula Deen.
Never posted here before, but I lurk all the time. Each day you outdo yourself. I put this on my facebook page! Great job !!!!!
I just saw the best tweet ever. Reposting it here:
AdamGertler just tweeted to FNHumor:
please, please, pleeease give me a milk ad too. I swear I’ll pay $100 or whatever Alton’s anti-harassment fee is.
self-deprecation goes a long way in winning my heart.
Now watch some of you here make Gertler your new IT boy.
I wonder if he will continue to be an untalented jackass .
No less talented than the rest of the ‘fn’ family.
That’s not saying much, Brad.
He’s really funny! I like that he and Alton both don’t take themselves too seriously!
But so far Mr. Gertler has not donated as he voluntarily promised. His creditability is not soaring in my book.
No, gertler has NOT donated as promised. He totally lied.
I love you guys. That is all. :)
Love all of them, Sandra’s still the best, loving Rachel’s and Ina’s too. I have a place in the Hamptons and I have never seen so may Gay Men that are on Every One of Her Shows. Is her gorgeous friend Kieron Gay too?
My mistake, Ina’s gorgeous friend’s name is TR, is he Gay too? Emril’s back too, what happened to his tv show, did it get cancelled already? He sure HAS Gained Weight, on his new show Cooking & Eating Healthy Food Fast.
“Got good milk?” has to be my favourite one! you always nail it. I also love the Sandrunk one “got melk?” ha ha ha
Saw the retweet of Adam, funny of him, I always liked the guy, but he earned some points in my book. Hopefully he pays up.
Never commented before, but I just had to say how HIARLIOUS this is!!! The Ina one is the best IMHO, though they’re all spot on! Really hope you do more of these!
And by the way, Adam asking for you to make him one…pure awesomeness. I knew I liked that guy.
“the bitterness of having lost to someone name “Big Daddy” – truer words have never been written ….
:-D
brilliant!
Got melk? OMG, that pronunciation kills me. But I DO love white russians. And, erhm, no dissing Tim Curry with horseface Clair Robinson… but somehow, I might agree. She lacks the blue eye makeup.
Hilarious stuff ladies! Loving it.
OMG…the expression on Ina’s face (and her hand gesture) with the line “the homosexuals run me ragged”…you made my freaking day! And now I want some chocolate cake and a glass of milk. NOW!
Well, if we are to do it “Barefoot Contessa style”, it involves good organic whole milk and a fabulous cake made with good Belgian dark chocolate, a touch of espresso, and a dash of orange zest. Now how bad can that be? ;-)
To coin a phrase–Yummo!
I’m sure you can think of one for a doucebag like Guy. And Pauler needs one for her old bones.
But he doesn’t just drink milk. I’m sure he drinks XXXXTREEEM MILK!
Well, Paula has taken to drinking lobster/butter shooters, so she can probably skip the milk.
HILARIOUS! I love it… Especially my dear, sweet Ina’s. We homosexuals really do run her ragged… ;-)
wait… shouldn’t Ina’s last line be “How bad can that be?”
Hilarious especially the one with Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee.
Jillian – another classic!!!
I love them all, but Aunt Sandy and Ina ROCK!!!
Nice work Jillian and Michelle :) Had me laughing
Sandra Lee: REHAB Does NOT stand for Really Enjoying Hard Ass~Alcoholic Booze!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LTPRJqt2z4
I appreciate the efforts at humor, but at some point it just crosses over into being mean. I listen to your podcasts regularly, and am very glad for them. But I am also very glad for many of the personalities in the food network.
If it were only about the food, I wouldn’t bother listening to you. Can you lighten up some and make it more fun, and be less mean?
What exactly was “mean” in this post? I’m just not seeing it.
Yeah, there was absolutely nothing mean about it, get over it. This is a snark site…. we have fun and make fun of everyone… and Jill and Michelle do a great job of keeping us entertained… if you’re that easily offended please graciously bow out. Personally I thought it was brilliant. /shrug. To each their own.
There was nothing mean in this post at all, unless you have skin like a single layer of puff pastry. In which case I kindly request that you bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
I don’t see anything mean about them — they’re funny and play on each FN personality’s well-known foibles. Heck, if Adam Gertler is tweeting begging for one, what’s so mean? ;^)
“…unless you have skin like a single layer of puff pastry. In which case I kindly request that you bake at 350 for 15 minutes.”
Hookerbot, that one made me laugh out loud!! Good stuff, good stuff!!
Some of the posts have cut a little close to the bone, in my opinion, but this isn’t one of them. What exactly are you referring to? I’m curious.
I think they’re hilarious.
This isn’t a fan site Adam. It’s a snarky humor blog. Besides, this post wasn’t mean at all. Run along.
Anne Burrell has tweeted that she would like a “Got Milk” ad, too. :)
But not just any milk–Anne wants something specific.
“can you do a “got cocconut milk” for me? Hahhahhahhhhaaaahhjhaaa! Love those milk ads! You rock!”
Maybe BROOOOOOOWN milk!
I want to put a Jackson Pollack painting right on Claire’s face! I’ll give her a “milk” mustache she won’t soon forget!!
Jillian, I think that the Adam one is going to be missed by most folks since you just added it to the bottom of this post – you should repost it on the main page as it’s own item. I only re-clicked this post to see if anyone had any new comments, so I myself also missed it as well.
Mean? This isn’t mean at all. Its hysterical. That’s the point of the blog. Love seeing those chefs with the over-inflated egos smacked down on this blog. I think one of the funniest is the Ina one. I was watching her this afternoon, and she was making dinner for her gay florist and his boyfriend. If you look up fag hag in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Ina next to the definition.
I want to see a round two of these ads~Anne and Triple-D Douchebag and maybe Alton. <3
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I stayed home sick today and decided I needed a good laugh to brighten my spirits. I happened to bump into your site and I love it! One look at the RR ad and I couldn’t stop laughing. My sister had to read it to me while I was collapsed on the floor. I laughed so hard I went into a total coughing fit. I am now completely decongested. THANK YOU!
Ina’s should have been chocolate milk. The recipient of a gay dirty sanchez….
Adam is soooo ever lovin’ hot, is he single? :D
What an awesome guy!
These are great. I guess I’m a little behind the times on this one, and I don’t know if anyone will even read this, but RR’s definitely should have had “(Extra Virgin Olive Oil)” after EVOO. She used to say it every time, and it was in all of her books. It drove my mother crazy. What’s the point of using an abbreviation, if you just say what it means every time? Some one must have said something to her, because I noticed that she doesn’t do it any more.
And here I thought Giada’s “Got Milk?” ad was just going to be a picture of “the girls” …