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VIDEO: Guy Ferry Overpronouncing His Fake Last Name (And A Rant By Jillian Madison)
Posted by Jillian Madison

First of all, there are going to be a lot of curse words in this article, because when I talk about Guy Ferry I get very fucking heated. Sorry, mom and dad.

Speaking of mom and dad, they really tried to raise me right. Amongst other things, they taught me to say please and thank you, to never show up empty handed, and to not use the word “hate” because it “wasn’t nice.” Apologies to mom and dad here, but you know what? I’m going to come right out and say that I fucking hate Guy Fieri with the fire of a thousand suns. Two seconds of his phony, surfer dude who can’t surf, rocker dude who can’t play instruments, Guido bad boy bullshit literally makes my skin crawl. The sunglasses on the back of the head, the flip-flops in the kitchen, the greasy bloated face and spiky hair and 900 pounds of tacky jewelry… those are all bad enough. But when he overpronounces his fake last name of “Fieri” as “Fietti?” Forget it. It’s just too much for me to take.

Roll that beautiful bean footage:

Overpronouncing a name that isn’t yours, like it’s been yours forever? Is there anything more vomit-worthy? Could he be more of a self centered, douchebagical prick?

TRUTH: Guy Fieri’s real name is GUY FERRY. His father was born JAMES FERRY. His grandfather was ALSO a FERRY. It was his GREAT GRANDFATHER, from the fucking 1800s, who had the Fieri name. Guy Ferry lived the first 30 years of his life as GUY FERRY but changed it to “Fieri” because he wanted to open a pizza parlor and he thought “FIETTI” sounded more Italian. Now he’s going around saying he’s “GUY FIETTI” like he’s been Italian his whole life? Couldn’t you just throw the fuck up?

Guess what? My great-grandfather’s name was Salvatore Mancini. Am I suddenly going to wake up one day and change my name to JILLIAN MANCINI and start making my own brand of tomato sauce to sell on television? NO, BECAUSE I’M NOT A FUCKING ASSHOLE. Lots of things have happened through the years. I’m not 100% Italian anymore. My heritage has been blended with Irish and German blood, amongst others. To focus on one distant heritage in the name of starting a business is despicable.

What bothers me the most is that people are actually falling for his fake shit! There is actually a fan site! He actually has some fans. I ask, in all seriousness, what is wrong with you people? Are you mentally ill or just stupid?

I’ll say what everyone else in the food industry thinks but won’t dare say, because I’m not being paid by anybody to write this blog and I can be as honest as I want to be without fear of losing my job: someone needs to kick this douchebag and his krew of middle-aged misfit toolbags in the mouth until they shut the fuck up, and then put them on a one-way bus to Flavortown Nowhereville USA where they can live out the rest of their days verbally jerking each other off and talking about Guy Ferry’s kewl new pair of skull embroidered flip flops… never to be heard from again.



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Guy Ferry. Never Forget!
---Guy Ferry Is A Hypocrite
---An Argument Against Buying Guy Fieri’s Books
---Cal State Disses Guy Fieri
---Guy Fieri Ends Episode By Taking Fake Phone Call

    200 Responses

  1. Sam says:

    Girl, no need to apologize. This site and all its fans are applauding you for your 2 cents on Guy Ferry

    • Silverlock says:

      Not quite all of this site’s fans are applauding. I read FNH daily, but I don’t share the total Guy-hatred that inspired this post.

      Can Guy be annoying? Could he have better manners? Yes, at times.

      On the other hand, I enjoy Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives a lot. I think it does a good job of giving lesser-known places around the country some exposure and I think that Guy is consistently gracious to the owners and employees of those restaurants even when his facial expression shows that he may not be enjoying whatever he is tasting quite as much as one would hope.

      The rage over his Ferry / Fieri thing really seems a bit much; how many celebrities / TV personalities / actors / etc. adopt a stage name? A lot. Guy at least chose a name that actually belonged to one of his direct ancestors and for a legitimate reason (opening an Italian restaurant with an Italian name? Not that bad an idea!).

      If Guy and his shows make you this upset then you should turn them off. They’re clearly making you lose the great sense of FN HUMOR that I come to this site for.

      And now I’ll take asbestos-coated cover.

      • Mark H88 says:

        I am somewhere in the middle. He actually started off somewhat “normal”. Did you ever see DDD in 2007? He is so much more palpable. I can even buy into some of the goofy things he does, but I also agree that the fame has gotten to his head and he comes across as such a tool.

        The name thing doesn’t bother me either because, like you said, most people in TV change their names. At least he didn’t change it to something more obnoxious like “Iced-D Cool Guy”. LOL

        The thing that most annoys me is that he acts like his sh*t don’t stink…like he’s the coolest thing around. He’s far from cool and like I’ve always said, his ‘coolness; factor only comes into play because he’s on the lame ass Food Network. Anyone can look “cool” when your fans are 40-60 year old Midwestern housewives.

        You put him in any ‘real’ situation (like a rock concert, biker bar, or any place where the clientele is under 40) and he comes off as the creepy uncle who’s going through a midlife crisis. People who act like that are definitely overcompensating for not being adequate in other areas.

        Most people buy into the phony persona, but I don’t buy it (and neither does Jill). He’d actually be somewhat entertaining if he’d just cut out the B.S.

        • Tom says:

          Um, I guess you are under 40. When you are not, you might consider suicide

        • Ky Eater says:

          I’m not a Guy hater either. I think he can be over the top, but eh – so what? I’ve seen some of his shows where he cooks with his son and they seem to have a good dad and son bond. I like DDD too, I think any show that spotlights regional cooking is to be applauded.

        • Alex says:

          I understand the name change. When my ancestors arrived from Italy, the name was “Americanized” by Immigration, not by choice. Now, several members of my family have changed it back to the original Italian name. So, maybe give Guy a break as to his name.

      • Currer Bell says:

        I agree with most of what you said, Silverlock, including the name thing.

        There was a time I got angry with Jill and commenters calling him a douchebag, because he seems to me like a nice guy. But I decided I was being a hypocrite because I totally want to call Tyler Florence a douchebag without any sort of evidence other than he just looks like one.

        I guess the point is that we can’t all agree on everything. If the site was called Guy Fieri Humor, I’d give it a pass. But Jill is an equal opportunity…uh…poker funner atter. So I stick around!

      • Pishposh says:

        If all the greasy, mushy, boorish food he showcases as “money” is any indication, all of those Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives should STAY obscure.

      • Ferd Berfle says:

        I can only take your word for it that DDD is an entertaining and enlightening show. Guy Ferry is the one and only reason I absolutely CANNOT watch it. When it gets a different host, one whose persona isn’t completely fake and obnoxious, maybe I’ll tune in.

        • Stella says:

          If you get the Cooking Channel, there is a show called The Originals with Emeril Legasse that is kind of the same concept as DDD, but way more tolerable.
          I think DDD switching hosts would be the best thing for it.

      • Who cares how many other celebrities adopt a stage name? That’s not the point. If he adopted a stage name, and just said it normally and didn’t make it such a focal point, that’d be one thing.

        But this douchebag changed his name to Fieri to open a PIZZA PLACE, and now he overpronunciates it and acts like he’s an authority on all things Italian.

        If you’re buying it and giving him a pass for it, fine. But don’t expect me to.

        • Old71 says:

          good one!

        • Val says:

          If Guy changed his name to open a pizza parlor, it does not explain why his sister also shared his same last name. What was her excuse? It doesn’t seem like you have enough proof that that is the reason for the change…

        • Bette Phuczher says:

          I couldn’t agree with you more. I can’t stand this fucking asshole and can’t understand his appeal.

      • Betty says:

        I agree with you. I love DDD and think he is a very good host of his other shows.

      • Chivalrous5 says:

        I must also disagree with some of the opinions Jillian posted. I’m by no means a fan of Guy :whateverthefuckhislastnameis

        but let it be stated that his direct paternal great-grandfather was called Fieri. His name was unrightfully changed at Ellis Island like so many other immigrants to give them more palatable anglo sounding names.

        If it were not for the dislike for certain ethnicities and nationalities in this country in the 1800′s His name would have always remained Fieri, so would his father’s and grandfathers.

        I don’t care if he changed his name back to his rightful name because he wanted to open up a restaurant, that makes no difference.

        Jillian’s point that her great-grandfather was a Mancini makes no sense. The great grandfather with the Mancini name did not pass down the name due to a marriage somewhere, and the name changed.

        Guy is a douche, but he’s entitled to his family name

        • Besmer says:

          ^^THIS. I read all Jillian’s rants about Guy’s ‘fake last name’ without realising that the Fieri name is his ACTUAL FAMILY NAME. He has every right to use it! The ‘fake’ name in this case is Ferry- either enforced, or adopted to avoid predjudice in less enlightened times. I’m no fan, but jeez, let the guy use his completely legitimate name.

        • Jersey Girl says:

          Disagree…my last name is Carroll, as well as a few thousand others who came to Ellis Island…check the wall we have an entire block.

          That was because Ellis Island processors didn’t really care who you were they gave you an easy name and let you go.

          I am a Carroll b/c my great, great grandfather was “black Irish” aka a product of the Spanish invasion two generations before HE was born. My Carroll name was made up at Ellis Island from Corrilious.

          I don’t know much about Spanish food (tho I make a GREAT paella, I am told) but your logic about Guy changing his name to sell Pizza is like me changing my name back to its 1830 original sell Tapas. I. Ain’t. Buying. It.

          I support his name changing for TV…everyone does that. Just don’t sell me some self righteous crap about his “rightful” name WTF is he the heir to Flavortown?

          • Tito says:

            You should check your American history: immigrants did not have their names changed at Ellis Island or at Castle Clinton or at any other customs port of entry. At some point after being admitted into the USA, some people, for whatever reason, changed their names. So, Guy Ferry’s great-grandfather, for some reason — I’m guessing to make pronunciation easier for the Anglo-Americans, changed it to the close but easy to pronounce Ferry. I don’t care for Guy Ferry/Fieri and I don’t think I have any right to tell anyone what to call himself or which part of his heritage to honor. I’ve seen him a few times on TV and he certainly doesn’t buy into the notion of himself as an Italian American, but puts more stock in what he actually is: an American mutt from the West Coast. Nothing ethnic about him at all, not for real nor for pretend. As far as the pronunciation, he’s obviously trying to roll his “r” as would be done in Italian but he’s doing a sloppy job.

        • B.Ferry says:

          are you telling me my real name is B. Fieri, maybe I should change it back after 45 years… NOT!!

    • MGL says:

      Reading this was the best part of my day. Keep speaking the truth, Jillian!!!

    • riddler says:

      Have you ever thought about just not watching his show ?

    • colors says:

      no he is cool you just mad because you cant do it

    • Robin says:

      John Stewart’s real last name is Lebowitz. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just sayin’.

  2. Old Unkajoe says:

    Jillian, please stop sugarcoating things and tell us how you really feel. ;-)

  3. lolcat says:

    Guy Ferry is an asshole.

  4. oh_come_on says:

    Feel better Jillian? I hate him too!

  5. Syth says:

    Damn.
    Tell us how you really feel.

    I kid, I agree spot on with just about everything you said. But it’s not like he’s the first to pretend to be what he’s not to be famous.

    Look at Martha Stewart? She’s a fucking criminal and still does luxurious weddings. And even my personal hero Alton Brown, changed his accent to a more Northern or at least neutral one to be accepted by the masses because for some reason. Folks with heavy southern accents on TV are regulated to game show contestants and natural disaster survivor interviewees.

    I’m not saying this justifies Ferry, but to be honest, if my last name was synonmous with GAY I’d change it too. Then again, he cancels all that out by looking like the fat queer missing member of the Jersey Shore. . . .

    You know what, never mind, rage on.

    • PaulWellerfan says:

      Then again, he cancels all that out by looking like the fat queer missing member of the Jersey Shore.

      This is HIALRIOUS!!!!!

    • Marion in Savannah says:

      “Folks with heavy southern accents on TV are regulated to game show contestants and natural disaster survivor interviewees”

      I give you (and PLEASE take her) Paula Effing Deen. And you can take her kids and her husband too. Phoniest most over-exaggerated crap accent I’ve ever heard, and I LIVE HERE.

    • Old71 says:

      He has no redeeming skills like ole Martha and who really cares. He’s just a manufactured east bay geek who thinks he has everything goin on. Jillan, along with many others can see this thru his Ferry dipshitness,

    • Fia says:

      Actually, a ferry is a boat. The word you’re thinking of that is often used in a derogatory manner to refer to gay people is “fairy.”

      Also, Martha Stewart is a white collar criminal; certainly not innocent, but hardly a violent offender, and she served her time, so why shouldn’t she be allowed to resume her career? She’s still got the taste and style that got her where she is (I don’t even like the woman and I’m defending her. Whoa!)

    • Roo says:

      “fee-et-ti” would actually make more sense if he WAS from the Jersey Shore. The Italian-Americans here seem to make a point of mispronouncing everything. My husband, who is barely one-quarter Italian, insists on saying stuff like RIGOAT and PROZHUUT and MOZZAREL. (I like to make fun of him by asking him does he want pepperon on his pizz.) If Ferry was from NJ I would probably just shrug off the odd pronunciation, excusing it by figuring that’s probably the way his grandma pronounced it.

      • ButtaRumCake says:

        ” RIGOAT and PROZHUUT and MOZZAREL.”

        You mean that’s NOT how you pronounce’em?? *headtilt*

        • reneedog says:

          It’s dialect not real Italian and has nothing to do with New Jersey, just Southern Italians that came to the US early in the 20th century.

          they use the same dialect in New England (Providence etc.) and in the New York City outerboroughs.

          • Tito says:

            Not to be picayune, but those words are not dialect (by which I assume you mean the “dialects” — really languages — in Italy such as Sicilian, Neapolitan, etc.) but instead these words are NY/NJ area slang that developed among the grandchildren of immigrants who Americanized in pronunciation and cadence the words they heard their grandparents say. I’m not a big fan of it, but it’s not unusual as far as ethnic folks go…

      • Jersey Girl says:

        Yes..’they” do pronounce it that way and I cringe.

        I said to mom, “We picked up freshly made cannollis.”

        She corrected me w/ “no you sound like an Amerigan its pronounced: ganols”

        Btw…my family has been here since the 1830s and I’m the only member of my family who’s actually been in Italy.

    • JayFo says:

      Ya know SYTH…referring to him as a fat queer isn’t helping your case you ignorant prick.

      There are plenty of names you could have used rather than choosing some that are completely hateful to other people.

      Keep that in mind jerk.

      • Syth says:

        Could have? Yes.
        Care? No.

      • RE: Gay Fairy, er, I mean Guy Fieri says:

        Jayfo,
        Let me guess, you’re overweight and gay, right?
        I am too and referring to Guy as a fat queer doesn’t bother me in the least.
        The guy he was competing with on “The Next Food Network Star”, who’s name is Reggie, should have won, but apparently The Food Network didn’t want an overweight, black star.
        Short, obnoxious, fat white guido yes, but no big, fat black guys.

      • Paul B says:

        Hey Jayfo,

        Reprimanding someone for using hateful language, then starting and ending your comment calling them a hateful name is hypocritcal and immature.

        Look into a mirror before judging someone else.

  6. heh heh.
    that’s one of the best things I’ve read all month.

    jillian – you are a blazing point of light in the blogosphere.

    /asskiss

  7. Rick says:

    I don’t care much for him either, unfortunately, he hosts one of the better food network shows. Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, which I like because when traveling, those are the places I look for.

    Otherwise, I don’t need any Fietti. I hear it’s fattening.

  8. Jillian Madison's dad says:

    i’m jill’s dad. first comment and probably the last on this blog though i read it every day.

    just wanted to say don’t worry about the whole swearing and hating thing.

    when it comes to this prick all is forgiven.

    carry on.

  9. mike says:

    Awesome!

  10. Ryoko Hakubi says:

    I agree with your hatred for ferry mouth. My sister watches his shows but I lost all hope for her when I saw her watching jersey shore

  11. cowpoke says:

    The deep hatred you feel for him is exactly how I feel about Sandra Lee.

    • Daria says:

      I’m with you!
      I dislike Ferry, but if I had to choose I’d say I dislike Sandra more for actually encouraging people (mostly women) to use processed ingredients instead of real food.

    • Carianna says:

      I’m 100% with you on this. Feel kind of neutral about Guy, but hate Sandra Lee with every fiber of my being. It is SO offensive to me that she is on tv… and what KILLS me is that Food Network keeps RENEWING her show and giving her new ones! That tells me that somewhere in this world are morons who WATCH that crap.

      That’s a lotta capitals. But I hate that skank fake blonde curtain-matching bitch.

  12. Jersey Girl says:

    ^^^ Your dad is great! :)

    I’ve read your Ferry rants in the past and wasn’t sure if I agreed 100% that he was a tool, as I gave him a bit of a pass as most people on TV have a “thing,” I thought he was food knowledgable on NFNS and Tushaman actually told him to “dumb it down if he wanted to be on TV” because he used the word RAMEKIN (I dont know why I remember that.)

    But, I went it a food festival earlier in the year and decided to follow the chefs who would be there on twitter to get info on some unadvertised parties and radom gatherings (yup I’m a dork.) But fucking Anthony Bourdain was in my hotel and damnit I needed to know when he was at the pool!!!! :)

    Anyway, if any of you remember his 37 year old sister passed away in Feburary right before the festival started. THE VERY NEXT DAY he twitted something along the lines of “me and the krew and taking the flavor train to South Beach.”

    Change your name all you want, hang sunglasses off you ass if that’s your pleasure…but dude, take a few days to mourn your sister before getting back on that flavor train.

    Just my two cents.

    • imbri38 says:

      Didn’t know that about his sister…holy God, WHAT a douchebag!

      • Jersey Girl says:

        Sorry it wasn’t a flavor train..it was a boat..I couldn’t find his tweet…but FNH didn’t miss it…this was theirs on 2/25:

        FNHumor Food Network Humor
        I was sad for Fieri when I read about his sis’s death. But he’s “about to rock” with the “krew” on a boat so it seems he’s doing just fine.
        25 Feb Favorite Retweet Reply

        That boat was in South Beach, Fl. Sister died the 23rd. His only official event wasn’t til the 27th.

    • OneWhoKnows says:

      Well, it was 6 days after she died. But yeah. I get your point. It did come off as cavalier.

      I dunno about passing judgement on HOW people grieve, though folks. I’d just as soon my friends and family have a party and whoop it up after I’m gone. I’d prefer that to the alternative.

      Guy was genuinely tender at her wake & funeral. I give him a pass on this one.

      • Jersey Girl says:

        I didnt mean to sound harsh at the returning back to work/normal thing, I went to work the day after my dad’s funeral tho my boss said I didn’t have to….I think I even went to a concert the next day b/c friends forced me out of the house at night.

        But the 1st message back was about a middle aged man’s “krew chillin on a boat in SOBE” vs something like “thanks for all the prayers during this difficult time, my family and I truly appreciate it.” Yup…that’s douchey.

  13. Katyna says:

    Melissa McCartney was on Conan the other night saying she based her Bridesmaids character on Guy Fieri. She wanted to do the whole backwards sunglasses and bleached blond hair. Was totally committed to being the female Guy, but had to be reined in because that would have been to easy, seeing as he’s such a tool.

    • cloverleaf says:

      I saw her on Coco! Loved that she said while she couldn’t do the white spiky hair, she did get to wear the shirts and the cropped dockers! Sent a link of the segment to Jill. I hope that didn’t set her off too much. *wink wink*

  14. FuryOfFirestorm says:

    After reading that, I’m dying to be your gay BFF, Jill!

    I know shit about shoes and flowers, but I’m a great cook and we can play Rock Band and Dance Dance Revolution together!

  15. Skats says:

    I was listening to my favorite podcast the other day, (The Men’s Room with Miles and Thrill) and a segment came up where they were talking about “celebrity” toolbags. The said “Who’s that old guy in jean shorts, the one with the fleur de lis rhinestones on the pockets and the Ed Hardy motorcycle jacket? You know, hair club circa 1990. I think he has a cooking show?”
    This walking, breathing canker sore has made quite the rep for himself based exclusively on his appearance, hasn’t he.

  16. jmadison says:

    Also a Madison, but have 0% italian in me. Nevertheless…
    I am now pronouncing it “Mattasonionionio.”

    If only I had Giada teeth to REALLY make that turd shine.

  17. kevin says:

    this seems to be the only criticism the authors on this website can say about guy, let me ask you to CUNTS this, would you go on a tv show with that name. if i even had the slightest justification to change my name from a gay name (WHICH HE HAD NO CONTROL OVER!!!) to one that someone in his family once had even if it was a few generations ago i would do it and so would you so shut up the guy can cook, triple d is one of the best shows on food network move along bitches

    • Katie says:

      Hey everyone! Guy Ferry posed as a guy named Kevin and left a comment! HAHAHAHAHHA!! MONEY!

      • Daria says:

        This must be one of Guy’s “straight male viewers” from Wikipedia quote:
        “his prime-time shows attract more straight male viewers than any others on the network.”

    • Lana says:

      Kleetus, that you?

    • Diane says:

      “…let me ask you to CUNTS this”
      What? Kindly remove your head from your ass while posting, Sir.

      And, for your information, it’s the GAY people who should be offended by having any sort of name association with this asshat.
      There’s no shame in being gay, but there’s a shitload of shame in being the Hugest Douche On Earth.

    • Nubb says:

      So,I presume “Ferry” is considered a “gay” name because it rhymes with “fairy”?Geez,I hope Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo doesn’t see this.He’d change his name asap!

    • Ray says:

      “this seems to be the only criticism the authors on this website can say about guy, ”

      The “only criticism”!? Oh, little one, you haven’t been reading this site for very long, now have you. There is so much more which has been (rightfully) criticized about Guy. Open up them peepers, cuddles, and read some of pasts posts about this Mensan here on FNH.

  18. kevin says:

    by the way do you kiss your mother with that foul lesbian mouth and why am i not surprised your heritage stems from some of the ugliest nations in the wolrd

    • FuryOfFirestorm says:

      Do you eat out your mother with that mouth, Kevin?

      Take your racist and homophobic shit back to the Guy Fieri website, asshole.

    • trixie says:

      Hey, Kevin – why do you start an “I Love Guy Fieri” site, ok? The link could be: http://www.douchebag.com. Buh-bye!

    • Amber says:

      Wow. I like how you are willing to call somebody out for being “foul mouthed” and from “the ugliest nations in the world” with a statement that is blatantly homophobic and racist. You need to look up the word hypocrite then look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t worry, it’s not too late to fling yourself off the Golden Gate Bridge when you realize what an appalling human you are, I hear they haven’t installed those nets yet.

    • Thank you, Kevin, for proving my point that the average Guy Fieri fan is an unintelligent, homophobic, idiot. Your honor, I rest my case.

      • FatCat says:

        Hear, hear. Thanks a lot Kevin, for the extremely intelligent, and flattering remarks.

        Trixie, I tried going to your “in red” link for kicks. It redirected me to http://www.bigdouchebag.com, which seems even more appropiate.

        • FatCat says:

          Wait, did I say flattering? My parents taught me to be too polite too. I really meant is Fuck Off Kevin.

      • KristenS says:

        I was gonna say the same thing. Figures someone who would worship a phony fratdouche with no redeeming personality traits would be a racist, phobic* piece of shit.

        (*I would put “homo” in front of that, except this shitbag seems to be phobic of a lot more things than just gays. What a pussy.)

      • Sue Z says:

        you left off misogynist….

    • Hobbygourmet says:

      Hi Kevin,
      go get your ass waxed!

    • Ray says:

      A shining example of Guy’s most devoted fan base.

  19. JoJo says:

    I never really cared for the things everyone says about Guy, but I saw him yesterday at La Guardia airport shoving his face with soup. He was a few seats away from me and I was just checking him out, as I have nothing to talk to him about. But I really wanted to look around and see if this guy is really a douche, or if you your site was blowing things out of proportion.

    So, once he was done with the soup he stood up with his bags and went to the monitors between the gates and pretended to look at the monitors. He then proceeded to just “hang” around the monitors, almost like he was looking around and waiting for someone to notice him. Of course, a minute later someone finally did and he began to pose for pictures. A group of 5 or 6 got around him and he just took it all in…this is happening all in the crowded gate area. He never took off his hideous sunglasses and just kept taking in the “fans”. When everyone was pretty tired of hanging around him (and ready to take their flights), he just disappeared (finally!) towards the first class lounge. I realized right there that he purposely hung out in the regular gate area just to get people to come up to him and recognize him. I wish I had taken video of all this…but I PROMISE it’s true! I was there and I couldn’t believe what a DOUCHE Gay Ferry really is! Next time, I’m pulling out my camera phone!

  20. Silvio says:

    great read. I really think Fee-etti loves hearing himself say his own name. I’ll bet he stands in front of the mirror practicing the delivery . Seems like he has to say his own name on any show he appears on.

    I too hate this guy like no other on TV. If I ever saw in person, I would not hesitate to kick him in nuts.

  21. Ninja. says:

    Slightly off-topic, but in what region is “ferry” slang for “gay”? Even Google, Wikipedia, and Urban Dictionary aren’t helping me here :[ A ferry is a kind of ship, or a verb using a ship to transport things. Cure my curiosity please!

    • Lana says:

      “ferry” rhymes with “fairy.”
      :-)

    • Amber says:

      Most the United States…

    • Cupcake says:

      If this comment is for real (I’m guessing english is not your first language), ferry and fairy are pronounced the same. Fairy can be used as derogatory term for a homosexual man.

      That said, Guy is a total douche. Try living in the same town he does. Ugh! I met him before his FN, and guess what? He was tool then. His fame has only exaggerated what was already there. It is not an act or a persona, unfortunately. He actually like that. His mom (who uses the last name Ferry) is actually quite nice, though. I’m not sure how she spawned him. Demon seed, maybe?

      • Bun says:

        I beg to differ. I’m from the east coast originally, and I NEVER heard anyone pronounce “ferry” the same as “fairy” until I moved to the west coast. I think it’s a regional thing. So I guess it would make sense that, being from California where everyone pronounces the two words the same, he would change it. But he’s still a giant douchbag!!!!

        • Ninja. says:

          Actually, Bun has hit it. I’m from the East coast + deep south, and those two words are similar but certainly not homophonic in my experience.

          Unwarranted presumptions on whether I’m ESL or not aside, I do still appreciate the explanation.

          • Cupcake says:

            Sorry if you were offended by the ESL presumption. I work in a very diverse setting, with many people who speak a wide variety of languages other than english as their first. It is not uncommon to have quirky questions like that come up. And having grown up on the East Coast (mostly CT), and now in CA for 20 years, “ferry”, “fairy”, “very” and “hairy” have all always rhymed.

        • Erica says:

          I’m from the south and pronounce fairy and ferry the same…

          I think that it just depends on where you’re from. Agree that it’s a regional thing.

          • reneedog says:

            I’m from the NY area and we definitely pronounce
            “fairy” and “ferry” differently

            “Fairy: would rhyme with “hairy” and “ferry” would rhyme with “very”. but then maybe in different parts of the country “hairy” and “very” rhyme.

            Ok, I’ll shut up….

          • Luke says:

            Yeah, in Ohio we pronounce “Ferry” and Fairy” the same. Also, to Reneedog’s comment below, we also pronounce “hairy” and “very” the same.

  22. MelBPert says:

    I consider anyone who uses the word “money” for anything that is unrelated to currency a douchebag. So, well said.

    • Rich says:

      The term “money” was in fashion for about six months after the movie Swingers came out…in 1996. After that it was only acceptable to use in quoting that funny movie.

  23. Old71 says:

    Right on Jillian!!!! You hit it everytime with this freak. “fietti” bwahahahahahahaha

  24. Cubsfan12 says:

    I appreciate what Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives tries to do; it helps shine a spotlight on independent restaurants in a world where the big chains are trying to take everything over. I don’t particularly appreciate Guy Ferry/Fieri’s persona, which has definitely suffered from FN Star Disorder and become self-parody over the course of time.

    As for the last name bit….I can understand changing it. I’m a 3rd generation American on one side of the family, and both sides experienced the “fun” of having their last names mangled by moron immigration officials, or general US American stupidity and inability to pronounce non-English last names. But….when I’m referencing the now Mac-less MacTeague part of my family heritage, I don’t feel the need to cop a Fat Bastard accent and slap on a kilt, either. We got it; you’re Italian-American. So am I. It’s a good thing; no need to rub it in our faces all the time by overpronouncing the reclaimed family name.

  25. Diane says:

    Nice rant, Jillian! :)
    I didn’t watch the clip because I had a rather heavy lunch and didn’t feel like spewing it everywhere.

    I think it’s safe to say (again…I like to rant against Ferry too) that his fan base are frat boys and mid life crisis assholes.
    I’m sure there are a few (stupid) women out there who buy into his greasy guido persona.

    Personally, I’d rather have some cuddle time with a leper than Guy Ferry.

  26. Aj says:

    Quit yer bitchin and shut the hell up you whiny know it all bitch!

  27. Elise says:

    Really, dude?Shut up you whiny little bitch! If it bugs you that freakin much, STOP WATCHING THE DAMN SHOW! If he changed his last name, big freaking deal!! People change their names all the damn time, and they can pronounce them however the fuck they want to!

    • Bun says:

      Why are you reading this blog? You clearly have no sense of humor.

    • Ferd Berfle says:

      Yes, people can change their names and they can prounounce them however they want – and we can criticize and mock them however WE want, especially when they’re no-talent loudmouth losers like Guy Ferry.

  28. Justin [time to hate this tool] says:

    I saw this episode a couple weeks ago, and the FIRST thing I thought when listening to him over-annunciate his fake last name was “GOD I HOPE JILLIAN SEES THIS” Thanks again for bringing this to the attention of the people.

  29. Chris says:

    I gotta say, there are many things about him that annoy me (i have inadvertently called people douchebags to their face by saying only douchebags wears sunglasses backwards) to no end, but he usually entertains me. Watching Guy’s Big Bite is too much for me, but Triple D is one of my favorite shows. I suppose it may be because I like uncomfortable situations and he is the king of making people uncomfortable. They ether look at him like they have no idea what the hell is going on or play along. both are fun to watch.

    That said it’s possible I enjoy your hatred of him more. You’re absolutely not wrong. Keep ranting!

  30. Zdubs says:

    Hate the guy, but I do enjoy Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. Forgoing the fact of having to watch FERRY stick his fingers in other people’s food and generally being a douche, I find the show interesting. Good to see what’s out there. Show would be much better if it didn’t have a host. Perhaps Food Network could re edit the show and take FERRY out. Just like how one brave person edited out Jar Jar from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Man I hate Jar Jar and Guy. But I do like Star Wars and Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

    Cognitive Dissonance I guess

  31. Diane says:

    Wow, the Guy Fietti fan club is out full force today. However, I’m convinced it’s just that butt-plug Kevin posting under different names.

    What’s the matter, dude? Did you run out of Funyuns and Yoohoo? Did your mom tell you she wants you out of her basement because she’s sick of washing the cum stains off everything?

  32. allen says:

    for some reason i like ‘guys big bites’, but i can’t stand DDD. every time i see an episode i ask myself, ‘is this a repeat?’, because they all look the same

  33. BE says:

    I can’t stand this guy, I want to punch him and his open-mouthed Trisket face.

    However, there’s nothing wrong with him taking the name Fieri. A lot of people Americanized their names to fit in or otherwise. Sometimes people further down the line go “Hey, you know, our original last name was pretty awesome” and revert back to it.

    I only say this, because I’m ACTUALLY Italian (1st generation). My family was lucky enough to not have Americanized their name when they came over here (and flip flopped back and forth) and had they, I probably would have very proudly reverted back to the original Italian spelling.

    That said, I can’t believe this twit is Italian, but to each their own at least in his last name. You’d think he’d want to stick with “Ferry” to promote a more American image with his shitty Diner show.

  34. Guy Fieri says:

    That’s it, you’re not getting a Christmas card this year!

  35. Goober says:

    Using his logic, shouldn’t he use the French pronunciation for his first name? GEE FEE-ET-EE!

  36. FatCat says:

    As an Italian myself, I say, learn to “roll” urrr rrrrs, Ferry. Or shut up with the FEEE-EEETTTTT-EEEE.

    • reneedog says:

      I’m Italian too and I just don’t get his pronunciation.
      It’s not an over pronunciation so much as it’s just WRONG.

      My family is Southern Italian (Calabria) and they DON’T rolls “rrrs”. Romans are known for rolling the r sound but not in the south.

      However, the “r” is sort of flipped and pronounced as a kind of dull “d” sound. So if he said Fiedi, I would give him a pass. But the “t” sound is wrong, and he also pronounces it as a double “tt” which is even more wrong.

      He’s a tool, basically

      • FatCat says:

        Yea, my family is Sicilian–Southern. Italy too. I agree, it’s just wrong and creepy. I don’t know where FEE=ET-EE is from way back in Italy but he’s just douchebagggy, period. He probably doesn’t even know.

  37. Kim says:

    Haha the comments section is almost as funny as the article. I too have to admit to occasionally watching D,D & D. But Mr. Ferry is a obnoxious douche, no doubt. I can slightly sympathize with the name change though. Mine was changed when my great grandfather came here so now I’m left with a name that resembles a old Jewish guy’s first name or a female sexual organ. But my original name would cause some of the stupider Americans fits because it’s Middle Eastern. :/ if he really changed it because it rhymes with fairy, that makes him even more of a douche. Do people even use ‘fairy’ as a insult to homosexuals anymore?

  38. Rich says:

    Jillian,
    I made the mistake of reading this at work and laughing for nearly 10 minutes straight because I usually use rants of that scale myself but damn did you hit it on the head. I watch the food network like most and have a few guilty pleasures But Guy Ferry and Rahm Fama from Meat & Potatoes are the fucking worst. I watch the shows to learn about places to eat but hearing shit bag Guy Ferry and fluff guy Rahm Fama carrying on like frat boys instead make me watch the show mostly on mute or fast forward. Keep up the great work Jillian .I read your blog daily and applaud your efforts.-Rich

  39. El Ahrairah says:

    I’m full blooded Italian and speak some, and there is no way in the Italian (or English) language Fieri can be prounounced Fietti…where the hell is he geting the Ts from?

    • I was wondering that myself. I actually called my grandmother (who was born in Italy and speaks fluent Italian) how she would pronounce the word with a heavy accent and there were no T’s at all.

      • El Ahrairah says:

        You have no idea how much that confuses and infuriates me. Sure, I get it that people want to be Italian, but at least try to pretend like you know what the fuck you’re talking about, you know?

  40. Jen says:

    Jillian, you couldn’t be more spot on with how much of a d-bag Guy is. My husband actually LOVED him, so last year for his birthday i bought him tickets to the Guy Fieri Cheese steak battle at the AC food and wine festival. Although the cheese steaks were delicious, Guys attitude was not!!! He sat on his fat ass in a velvet roped off section and signed 10 or so autographs and that’s it. My husband was “lucky” enough to get an autograph, which simply consisted of a big GF (probably cause he couldn’t remember how to really spell his last name). We met other food network stars while we were there who walked around the whole place and not only gave autographs, but actually held conversations with the people. Guy’s ego was way too big for the already enormous room we were in. Needless to say, my husband is no longer a fan!!

    Just a few weeks ago there was some other kind of “Guy show” at our local community college. A friend of my husbands took his 9 year old daughter to see the show because she loves him. They were told upon entering the show that if they purchased his cookbook while they were there, Guy would autograph all of them after the show. Well the show ended and little Guy was sleepy so he decided not to sign any autographs. Everyone flipped shit on him cause the price of his awful cookbook was jacked up, and now they didn’t get an autograph either. So this poor 9 year old girl left the show crying.

    Please do yourself a favor Guy, and crawl back under the garlic rock you came out of!!!

  41. Ava says:

    Truthfully, I can’t stand him but I force myself to watch Diners, Drive ins and Dives because I am CERTAIN that he is going to explode one day by shoving so much fucking food down his throat. It’s coming. You mark my word it’s coming.

  42. Kathy says:

    Jillian, this rant deserves to be on a podcast. Seriously. I could hear your voice in my head as I was reading this. You need to put this on audio to preserve it for the ages.

  43. HookahSmookah says:

    Guy’s Road Show is coming to my city in the next few weeks, so I guess, unfortunately, he has a following here and ticket prices are quoted from $30-$250! I never watch his show because I don’t think he can cook worth shit. I actually find him to be this pathetic cartoon-ish character, so I find him amusing. He has been to our town for “Triple D” several times and once I has a group of out-of-towner’s in who were salivating to try a hole-in-the wall that he went to on DDD, although I tried to discourage them because it wasn’t a particularly safe part of town to be out wandering around in after dark. Also last year, GF was here for some type of burger show-down. A friend of mine was having dinner at one of the places, and she said GF was in their with some other kewl dude and they were desperately hitting on some attractive 20-ish women. The girls politely asked him to leave and instead, he and his buddy sat down at their table and my friend overheard him say, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m on TV.” Well, of course not, because the aren’t straight young men, and not in GF’s demographic. My friend said he looked 10 years older in person and was bloated and appeared to have poor hygiene. My friends were finally called for their table, so I don’t know how it all played out.

    • Ray says:

      “…and appeared to have poor hygiene.”

      Which should surprise no one who has ever seen “Triple-D”. Well, no one who isn’t wearing Rose-Colored Guy-Ferry Viewin’ Glasses(tm), that is.

      Any any C-list celebrity (ie, Guy) who says, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m on TV.” gets automatic, Titanium Card membership in the Douche For Life Club.

  44. RR's Pompoms says:

    OMG – this is a classic. Rant on Jillian, rant on! Don’t get where some of the posts came from but…whatebber.

    I wonder if he wasn’t talking to Giada who, as we know, just loves to mispronounce/overenunciate English/Italian or whatever language she is trying to make us think she is speaking. Anyway, I’m figuring he heard her say “hi Guy Fietttttti” and he thought damn, I should have changed my name to Fietti (insert smacks forehead here) instead of Fieri so maybe I’ll slip it in now and then and no one will notice. Next thing he’ll be saying is spagheeeeti.

    *waves to daddy Madison*

    P.S. I’m 100% blue eyed Italian and my grandfather’s name was shortened on arrival so I have a non-descript last name.

  45. rose says:

    This whole time I’ve been calling him Fry Ferarri. As far as I’m concerned, ever show he’s in may as well be called the fryer. That’s the only kind of food he eats. ugh.

    • Ray says:

      I can see how subliminal memories of Andy Kaufman’s “Vic Ferrari” might cause one to rename Guy “Fry Ferrari”. But, that’s probably because I’m old. And watched too much Taxi.

  46. Mac says:

    Thank you so much for just stating an opinion, no holds bar. I do enjoy watching DDD sometimes with my mother, but she can’t see why he is annoying. Anytime I express the tiniest amount of distaste for any Food Network Star, she get’s mad and say she likes them, with the exception of Neely’s. And yet, with her loving Food Network, I never get to watch Alton. Anyway, the last name thing is worrisome. I have never known an Italian “r” to turn to a “t” or “d” sound. Also, this was helpful because I had no idea his real last name was Ferry, there is no denying that and I can used that against my mother. ;) Keep on rockin’ on!

  47. tony says:

    wow…jillian..what has this man done to you, besides being a douche and a poser, that really grinds your gears so much you had to go on a rant like that??

  48. MikeP says:

    I could care less for Guy either way. Used to watch DDD but he got on my nerves too much. But the hateful bile coated rant was a bit over the top for me. Then again…when it comes to Alton Brown or that smug prick Bourdain..or fucking Oprah…heh…i’d be spewing hate too :D

  49. Oob Oob Yittik says:

    Best. Rant. Evah.
    (and very funny comments)

  50. danielle says:

    Wow,
    I used to really love this website and read it daily, but I think i’m done after this tid-bit. It was pretty over the top – and I consider myself to be all over the Food Network Chefs more than anyone I know. This wasn’t, an ounce of funny you guys (authors) it was just a spewing of hatred. I’m completely shocked because this website used to crack me up – especially with the stabs at Ina Garten, but they never seemed so hateful. You should really re-read what you’re writing and think to yourself ‘is this even funny, or what am I trying to accomplish here?’. This should have stayed a comedy website, not one where you relentlessly bash on him – I get it, you’re not a fan, but do you realize how you made yourself look by writing such an ugly article?
    Totally not funny – and just purely hateful. I’m over this website, and not interested in your hate speech anymore. Hope you learn that there’s only a small percent of people who want to read such filth.

    • Amy says:

      Apparently most people here don’t share this sentiment, but I agree with you. Sometimes I don’t like Fieri, sometimes he’s bearable… but this is way over the top. And, no, I don’t “need to get a sense of humor”. Most of the bashing on this site is comical, but there is not one ounce of humor in this, it’s just pure hatred.

      I didn’t like his comment about how of course he does Italian food, his last name is Fieri, but there’s no need to get SO irate about it. Same with Giada over pronouncing Italian words, Marcela over pronouncing Spanish words, Ina and her gay friends, Sandra’s over the top glee… they’re all a bunch of phonies, why single him out like this?

    • Diane says:

      Gross. Danielle and Amy must be a couple of gals who somehow buy into Guido’s greasy persona. Is it possible that any women would actually find him….attractive?

      I simply cannot imagine being within a half mile of him, let alone having his slimy paws and chin pubes in close proximity.

      If i were bulimic, all I’d have to do is imagine his pork rendered sweaty bulk perched on top of me as he took a full 20 seconds to do his thing.
      Yep, I was right….I feel a massive puke coming on.

  51. uh oh says:

    can anyone top my upper decker at j garlics tho?

  52. Megan says:

    Seriously dying here! Hilarious shit!

  53. Ray says:

    Epic, Jillian. Absolutely epic! Comedy gold. Hell, this is comedy platinum. So perfectly summing up everything I loathe about Mr Ferry. The Citizen Kane of anti-Guy rants. I salute you. I bow to you. And, above all, Thank You!

  54. lolcat says:

    Probably already been said but…

    lolumadbro?

  55. MrPendent says:

    A-fucking-men, baby. the guy’s a douche to look at and I wouldn’t trust him to test my food for poison, much less suggest any sort of meal.

  56. aunty chai says:

    no need to apologize because all you said is true and I wish I knew what Food network is thinking leaving on the air. you rock!!

  57. Jimmy says:

    I found this on facebook:
    Fuck You, Guy Fieri is on Facebook

  58. Anonymous says:

    Whoa, ctfd…

  59. Finn says:

    :’D I had found my new home!

  60. riddler says:

    I don’t understand hate sites like this one. I guess it’s just an outlet for people with little or no talent to feel better about themselves. You’re doing nothing to contribute to society and eventually all the poison you spew will build up in your system and kill you. There used to be an anti-Rachael Ray website and the members there were dropping like flys. Many of the remaining members have one kind of illness or another. Positive thoughts lead to positive healthy and productive lives. Slamming people you don’t know is not a great way to spend your time. Turn off the computer and go outside or spend time with friends and family. You don’t want your obituary to read ” She was snarky about a TV show “

    • No, this site is an outlet for people to make fun of people who deserve to be made fun of. I’m doing a lot for society by making people laugh, which is a whole lot more than you’re doing, you holier-than-thou prick.

      Final word of advice: perhaps you should turn the computer off and go give Guy Fieri a blowjob. He’s waiting.

    • Sarah says:

      You should work on improving yourself, Riddler, so your obituary won’t read, “Riddler had low self-esteem because he didn’t have enough talent to write his own funny blog, so tried to bring down the writer of another one in order to make himself feel better.” What a putz.

  61. M says:

    Jillian,
    I think I love you.

  62. newwife says:

    I once heard him say Guy Fiddy…like Fiddy cent….made me want to puke….hated him ever since.

  63. kelly says:

    I don’t understand why it’s a big deal if he went back to his family’s original name. I’ve known other people that changed their name back from the “Americanized” version. I’m glad that my ancestors didn’t change their name when they emigrated – I like having a unique name. I just think it’s ridiculous to get in a snit about it.

    That doesn’t mean he’s not a chach.

  64. Liz says:

    Sooo apparently Jillian censors out comments that criticize her in any way, because that’s exactly what happened to mine. I must have had some good points…

    But really, has anyone else been censored – or had their comments removed – just because they disagreed with this site’s creator?

  65. Chris D. says:

    Guy doesn’t bother me at all – but consider that Whore at Home Giada’s last name isn’t DiLaurentiis either – nor did she “graduate” Cordon Bleu, nor is she a “chef”. Much like Rachael. No credentials – burgers only – topped with tons of nutmeg (her latest fettish) Much like Melissa D”Asshole. $40 dinners she claims are $10. She needs a math course and a trip to a REAL grocery store. Much like Nigella who they threw off the air (there IS A GOD!)

  66. Chelsea says:

    I never knew his name used to be “Ferry.” I always figured you called him that as a put-down. But this is “CAPITAL T-TENDER!” as Guy would say :D

  67. em em says:

    Thank science this blog exists. I have never laughed so hard, or agreed so much.

  68. Sarah says:

    I love you Jillian.

  69. Your Name says:

    Ruined it with equally douchy stewart pic at end (whose name is not stewart, ironically)

    • Harli says:

      But what’s even MORE ironic, Your Name, is that Jon Stewart IS his name; Stewart’s just his middle name, not his last! (M. Night Shyamalan voice) What a twist!!

  70. jessica says:

    I knew I hated that guy…..stupid sunglasses. so annoying. now this.

    douche bag king.

  71. Bkhuna says:

    When the dog birts
    When the bee stings
    When I’m feeling sad…

    I read this post again.

    What, you expected Rogers and Hammerstein?

  72. patio farmer says:

    Do you bliss-ninnies who are acting all offended here on Fieri’s behalf do realize that:

    A) He literally stole the show from Page Productions? He got Page and the other people who started the show fired, because he is a control freak. Don’t believe me? Google it. Or simply watch any new episode and pay attention at the end when they roll credits. Page Productions are no longer credited. There’s an article in a back issue of City Pages (a Twin Cities, MN local monthly) which exposes all this.

    B) He is a major-league homophobe and one of the biggest blow-ups on the set while Page Productions was still in charge happened because Guy flipped out after he found out that the owners of one of the restaurants featured on one episode are lesbians? He threw a tantrum off-camera and told them that they had to warn him ahead of time if the owners were gay and that he didn’t want to do episodes if gays were involved?

    C) Is there ANY WONDER why he reverted to Fieri from FERRY? Perhaps it sounded a bit too much like FAIRY for his homophobic, fat-ass, fake mafioso self-image? I suspect he was called GAY FAIRY more than once, and so he over-reacted.

    This greasy, corpulent pig sits around in his spare-time with his “crew” and thinks up these asinine one-liners that he uses on the show. Now he seems to be passing this “talent” onto his son Hunter. *vomits*

    I like the concept of the show, and in fact, a BBQ restaurant that a friend of mine owns was featured on DDD, so by all rights, I should be kissing his ass, right? Wrong.

    Great show concept (which was not HIS concept) shitty, immature host.

    Now, let’s queue the apologists. I am sure someone will self-righteously tell me that I am a loser who didn’t succeed in life and that i must be jealous, which couldn’t be further from the truth, so fuck YOU in advance, Fieri ass-kissers. Be sure to over-pronounce his surname as you lick his boots.

  73. Diners, Douchebags, & Dumbasses says:

    Hahaha YESS!!!!

    At last someone shares my love of saying “roll that beautiful bean footage” and my hatred of Guy Ferry!! This is the first article I read on this site and I am instantly addicted. What a well-worded, truthful yet comical piece of art. Thank you for your brilliance!

  74. Timbo says:

    You’re dumb.

  75. Jim McBride says:

    Guy Ferry and Ann Burrell are symptomatic of the Food Network”s movement away from qualified chef’s to posers and personalities

  76. VLizzle says:

    WOW you have some fucking serious issues if you feel compelled to write on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about Guy Fieri and how he chooses to pronounce his name. Time for you to move on and get a real life!

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