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(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved












34 Responses
If Alton grabbed the fruit out of that bowl and started hucking them at the counter-jumping cheflette it would make my dreams come true.
I’m excited for this only because it’s always such a train wreck!
Right there with you.
I wasn’t going to watch, but now I will have to tune in to count the number of times Alton rolls his eyes at this bimbo. Maybe he can teach her how to spell “challenge”.
If he’s so disgusted, why is he hosting the show?
It’s called a “paycheck”, Fred! 8^)
probably a contractual obligation tied to the rest of the work he does for FN.
and there’s just something that tells me that being neck-deep in the chaos there would be as amusing as being the armchair quarterbacks that we are — maybe moreso. I’d bet AB sees it as much of a spoof of “reality” as the rest of us do (c’mon, he contribute$ to FNH, he’s one of the Good Guys)
“Hey look, Alton, I can sit on the counter like that cute girl in the ZZ Top video ‘Legs’. Look, look…OOPS!”
He’ll bet he ONLY reason we watch any of this show.
You bet!
She couldn’t just walk a few feet around the table?
Anyway I’ll be watching! I wonder who is going to get injured in some way this year…
I would like to see who is KOREAN this year.
Exactly! And even if she’d missed the platter, who would want to eat food that has been under her gluts and shoes?
I can’t wait for the recaps. They are always spot on and perfect
Can’t wait to see who they “accidentally” leak out as the winner.
Has anyone noticed that they’re not calling it “The NEXT Food Network Star” on the promos? They just call it “Food Network Star.” I wonder if this means anything … like maybe no more guarantee of a series?
Maybe it’s because in half-a-dozen seasons the show hasn’t produced the “next” Food Network star. The show has only produced one Food Network “star”, as far as I can tell. All of the others can be called “Food Network Hosts” or “Food Network Personalities,” at best.
So true. And some of the runners-up have been given consolation prize shows on FN or Cooking Channel.
You call McCargo or D’Arabian or Sequera PERSONALITIES????????
I call them losers.
The show has failed for several years now to come up with anything resembling a star.
What they have come up with are nervous, figgity, gigglers who get their “shows” scheduled in network deadspots.
I was thinking the same thing… this next winner is going to join the prestigous ranks of ‘stardom’ as Aaron McCargo, Mellisa D’Arabian, and Aarti Sequera?????
Really?? That’s about as exciting as winning a chance to be on a college radio station.
so far the commercials for it creep me out worse than any of the earlier seasons — those slow-mo heads turning with the vacant stars and empty grins. Reminds me of some sort of zombie show. Which actually might make the season more bearable if it were zombies.
Me no understand title of this post.
Yeah it should read, “Alton Brown Will *HOST* Sunday’s Premiere of Next Food Network Star,”
Thiis season looks awesome! I’m sorry but I happen to like drama and that’s what I love about this show.
I hope Alton tears her a new one!
LOVE LOVE LOVE AB!!
Whip ‘em into shape, I just wish they would batttle Robert Irvine against Alton.
Oh and I am worried about the no “NEXT” thing…DON’T CANCEL THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW IN THE WORLD
Oh and BIG FANS are DREW BARRYMORE TINA FEY
they know what’s good also love worst cooks in america
There are few things I love more on TV than this show. They’re bombarding the afternoons with last season’s episodes and I was lucky enough to catch the one yesterday when Dzintra “shushed” Aria when they were supposed to be presenting to the judges. Shushed her and nudged her. Priceless. Could not possibly have been scripted because no one would ever think that anyone could pull that off, if it had been scripted, as if it weren’t scripted. O god please let there be a Dzintra on this season….
I trust there will be every hackneyed stereotype your heart desires.
Lol, last season had its moments. I loved the one where Tom was in front of the judges and got flustered and said he liked to play with himself. That was classic.
I am eagerly awaiting the hilarious recaps for this trainwreck of a show.
Alton flinched because he was shown a picture of Bobby Flay rubbing BBQ sauce on his moobs.
^Ew. This mental image cannot be unseen. LOL
Almost worth watching, for Alton. However, it appears the show airs at the same time as Game of Thrones, so I’ll miss it. I’ll read the recap here, or maybe catch a rerun at some point.
Ray, discover the DVR and set yourself free.
wonder if AB’s excuse of the cable being out at his hotel is just so he doesn’t have to watch (on twitter he said that the cable’s on the fritz in his hotel room and he won’t be able to see the show – and he’s live twittering)
I think that Penny chick needs to go right away – what a major PITA