Guy Fieri »
If you’re new here, welcome. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jillian Madison. I like puppies, long walks on the beach, and making fun of Guy Fieri.
In fact, making fun of Guy Fieri is something we do fairly regularly here on FNH – and that is grossly apparent even after only the most cursory glance at this blog. That’s why it is absolutely hilarious to me that not one… but *TWO* separate people working PR for Guy Fieri have recently reached out to me asking me to RECOMMEND AND/OR HELP THEM PROMOTE GUY FIERI PRODUCTS HERE.
I know, hilarious, right?
Here are the details. Their names have been omitted to spare them the public humiliation, even though a stupid mistake like this probably makes them quite worthy of it.
On March 23, a self-proclaimed “social media specialist” from Ergo, the makers of Guy Fieri’s ugly Knuckle Sandwich knives, wrote us an email all but begging us to help them “get out the word” about Fieri’s “awesome knives.” He offered to send knives for us to “test” but since I didn’t want those things in my house, I just ignored the email.
On March 31, he wrote back – again – so I bit and asked which knives they wanted me to test. He immediately sent me back a link to Fieri’s full product line (I could sense the foam building up around the corners of his mouth) and asked me which item I was interested in. Not wanting to be greedy, I went with one of the lower-priced items: the $55 Knuckle Sandwich 5.5″ Santoku Chopper with Criss-Cross Crusher ( I just lost about 200 brain cells typing that). I emailed him back with my selection, but on April 6th, he wrote me back and said:
Jillian – I am waiting to hear from the marketing/pr guys. They’re not sure about this because your site is pretty negative on Guy Fieri. Let me followup and find out what they decided.
WELL NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. Shouldn’t you, oh, I don’t know, have realized that before emailing me like a lunatic for the past week?
Sadly, the douche never followed up. So on April 13, I wrote him again:
Are you still “waiting to hear back?” Where are your marketing guys, in Outer Mongolia? You’re not being a very good “social media specialist.”
Alas, he never replied. I spent the next several weeks in the fetal position, violently weeping whist rocking my body back and forth.
On June 10, I got an email from a PR rep asking me to “partner with them” to promote Fieri’s stupid new cookbook:
Hi Jill, we’d like to work with you to help promote an offer we are promoting for Guy Fieri. We’ll be selling hardcover copies of his new cookbook paired with a free Guy Fieri squeeze bottle on our website I was wondering if FNH would be interested in partnering with us to promote the offer or helping us get the word out? I’d like to reach as many foodies and Guy Fieri fans as possible.
Well, if you’d like to reach as many Guy Fieri fans as possible, you’re at the wrong website, darlin’. Actually, you’re probably on the wrong PLANET, but that’s beside the point.
I fired off the following email in response:
I’m sorry, but no, we don’t offer free promotion to anyone. Also, out of curiosity, why would you even ask me to promote Guy Fieri? That’s pretty ballsy. Have you ever even read my blog? Are you aware that I publicly regard him as one of the biggest shit stains on the sole of society’s shoe?
Sadly, they never wrote back. Once again, I had to find the strength and courage to not drive my car off the nearest cliff.
Frankly, there are only two possible reasons why Guy Fieri PR people would ask FOOD NETWORK HUMOR to promote something for them:
1) THEY’RE STUPID
or 2) THEY’RE DESPERATE
Or maybe it’s 3) ALL OF THE ABOVE.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---Guy Fieri and Mario Batali Start Fake Food Feud To Promote Charity Event
---Guy Fieri Knuckle Sandwich Knives
---Why People Hate Guy Fieri
---Guy Fieri Doesn’t Know Where To Sell His Knuckle Sandwich “Knifes”
---NBC Kicks Off “Minute To Win It” Promotion With Series Of Obnoxious Guy Fieri Photos
- Guy Fieri