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Robert Irvine “Takes His Samurai Pro With Him Everywhere”
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Robert Irvine, the guy best known for grossly over-exaggerating his resume and losing every culinary battle imaginable to Anne Burrell, is now the spokesman for a product called the Samurai Pro. Hey, it sounds Japanese and those guys know a lot about knives so it must be a good product, right?
I can’t embed the promo video here, but if you click over to the website you’ll see it is easily one of the cheesiest, least original infomercials ever filmed. We’re talking a tomato cutting demo, people. Need I say more?
The funniest part? Halfway through the video, Irvine declares he “takes his samurai pro with him EVERYWHERE.” Really? Has anyone reading this EVER SEEN ROBERT IRVINE WHIP OUT A SAMURAI PRO? ONCE?
And more importantly, how hard would you laugh in his face if you did?
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Robert Irvine Bleaches Hair After Losing “Worst Cooks”---One Photo, Five Photoshops: Robert Irvine Edition
---Chopped All Stars Recap: Anne Burrell, Claire Robinson, Duff Goldman, & Robert Irvine
---Anne Burrell, Robert Irvine, and Alex Guarnaschelli Will Compete To Become The Next Iron Chef
---I’m Sorry In Advance
- General: Food Network
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40 Responses
Two remarks
1. His accent is killing me. Someone should teach him how to speak properly.
2 I’m NOT going to sharpen my knives with the same utensil as my garden tools, please….
It is only $10.00. Buy two so you do not have to use the one for garden tools….LOL
I’m sorry but that looks like a butt plug. (Oh, yes, I went there.)
Yep, exactly why he takes it with him everywhere! “Knife Sharpener”, my ass!
Well, his ass technically
nice
Does he take it on airplanes with him? TSA might have something to say about that…
So now he’s a liar, a loser AND a sell-out! Your parents must be so proud of you, Robert.
I assume he stashes it in the crotch of his entirely too tight jeans if he takes it “everywhere”… we’re all onto you, Robert.
I often find myself wanting to sharpen my knives upside down. And now, I can!
He looks like he is using the Spray on hair Ron Popeil used to pitch. RONCO GLH ?
This guy is a massive tool.
Where can you take your Samurai Pro? EVERYWHERE! Here’s just a few of the great places you can put your Samurai Pro to work:
At the Pool: Burrs on your pool noodles? Hone them out with the Samurai Pro!
Dangerous Back Alleys: Seedy elements will keep clear of you when they see you’re sharpening your knives the Samurai Pro.
To the Courthouse: Bring along your FREE kitchen shears that come with the Samurai Pro for a tour of the holding cells!
Topless Beaches: Knives sharpened with the Samurai Pro make quick work of those pesky bikini tops.
Star Wars Conventions: Wrapped in tin foil, the Samurai Pro makes a great droid sidekick to complete your geeky-ass costume!
Las Vegas: When you’re at the craps table, slide the dice through your Samurai Pro for clean, sharp edges.
Daycare Centers: It is never too early to learn about knife safety, and the Samurai Pro makes it fun!
Where will you take your Samurai Pro?
Can I use it on my Home Circumcision Kit?
You know… while it was a stupid ad… I would still buy it over a lot of the other useless crap other food network hosts are selling (the garbage bowl anyone?) At least this has a distinct purpose.
Are you suggesting that the garbage bowl does not have a distinct purpose? It’s a bowl … to hold your garbage. It’s genius, really.
Why on Earth would someone want to waste their time walking to the garbage can … or bringing a plastic grocery bag to the counter with them for the veggie peelings and empty containers? Come on. The garbage bowl is the best product. Ever.
I agree! You give it crap all day long and it NEVER complains.
Why not just a bowl from home or get a plastic bowl that is C-H-E-A-p from a discount store? Serves the same purpose… =)
You know, I really like Robert Irvine so I was so sad to see him sink down to the level of doing infomercials for knife sharpeners….
Knife sharpeners are a great way to ruin the hell out of your knives and make sure they never hold a proper edge again. If you need your knives sharpened, find someone local and have them sharpen your knives. It’ll cost you like $10-20 a year for your whole set.
I can’t hate on him either, but I seriously had a WTF moment when I saw this.
I actually like Irvine. He got caught up in some crap, but he did his time and moved on. We should all be so lucky that we could be given a second chance like him.
However, this article was funny as hell!
My wife who watches cooking shows obsessively claims that Jillian’s one-sentence summary of Robert Irvine is on the money–and that’s good enough for me. Love your word-slinging prowess, sister.
What a tool!
I think Anne Burrell is just as annoying as anyone else on the FN. Yeah, she’s a good chef, but she’s still a pain in the ass. All her damn, “OH-KUUUYYY” and *in a Cookie Monster voice “BROWN FEWD TASTES GUUDD.” crap.
Robert Irvine never annoys me. He can be a loud prick, but he’s not annoying to me. He doesn’t have those stupid quirks like Anne does.
LMBO…You are soooo right! It kills me to have to listen to that! But I agree, She is a very good chef!
Irvine is going to be on the Next Iron Chef (until he loses to Anne Burrell yet again). I hope he takes that stupid thing with him and Alton Brown spends an entire episode laughing at him for being such a moron.
This roided idiot used to sell knives (Porshe designed or something) on his tacky little website. This was before he got into trouble for lying. Don’t know iif he still does…sell knives.
I saw this commercial and I felt I was watching one of those infomercials that are on at like 4 AM. So cheesy, and just…agh.
I googled “samurai pro Robert Irvine” and was pleasantly surprised to see FNH already beat me to the punch and posted about it. Nice job Jillian :)
ROBERT…. I am sooooo disappointed!!
He almost had my attention until I saw him put a nice knife in the “butt plug!!” His no BS attitude on his shows have obviously not produced the pay he needed so he has stooped to Ronco levels.
What’s next after losing to Anne on the Next Iron Chef… Will he be the new face of the “Perfect Meatloaf?”
O yea I am going to sharpen my 200.00 richmond addict custom made knife with the same thing I sharpen my garden tools with. The problem with stuff like this is we let the food network get out of hand by supporting all this kind of stupid crap coming out of it. Like it or not its our fault.
I’m not sure that getting paid to hawk a product is exactly “sinking”
I really hate pizza rolls and think they are an abomination against food, but if the good folks at Totino’s called me tomorrow I’d rep the hell out of that product.
I hate them, but if there are people out there who are willing to pay to have their mouths raped with nasty who am I to judge?
P.S. Stop eating pizza rolls they are disgusting and make you less of a human being. O.K. so I do judge….
Yuh huh, I’m gonna pony up money for the Samurai Pro from the guy who falsified his entire CV. What was the director of this infomercial thinking? You want a front man people trust, and Irvine had his pants yanked down to his ankles in front of the whole world. What, was Anthony Sullivan too busy that week?
This from the same guy who according to his wiki, wears his chef jacket while working out. Talk about unsanitary!
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Irvine
Wow, 14.99 american dollars for this priceless item. I feel like I am ripping Robert Irvine off.
Whats next Robert, are you going to GIVE me cash for my junky gold? I love the knife sharpener and look forward to having it with me everywhere I go even on airplanes.
he opened cutting just fine. Also, he didnt slice the tomato, he smashed the knife into it…
i disagree i would buy it cuz it has his signature on it
Do not buy it!!! It breaks before you have a chance to try to sharpen anything!
Y’all are missing the point (pun intended) here. Ignore the pitchman. The concept of a tool sharpener that you can EASILY secure to a flat surface and then sharpen a knife/scissor/etc is pretty slick.
How many times have you tried to sharpen something with a block and are concerned about slicing off a digit or two? This product removes that concern.
All of you need to shut the fuck up, Robert is making more money than all of you with or without this product!
This product is a PIECE OF CRAP!!! Do not buy it! The company does not back up their product either! I bought it as a Christmas Gift and the first time my Mom took it out to use it, the suction cup snapped off. I called the company to get a replacement/money back, and all they would say is I “ordered it over 30 days ago and therefore I am not entitled to any compensation….A Policy is A Policy.” Policy my Butt!!!! Ordered Week of Thanksgiving, given Christmas Day, Tried to be used 2 days later and broken before it could be used.
DO NOT BUY THIS PRODUCT!!!!!!
If Robert really carries the knife sharpener everywhere, I’m sure it’s a recent habit. It will probably conclude when his contract with the sharpener maker ends. It’s sort of like when stars regain all the weight after they lose it using Slim-Fast/Nutrisystems, etc.
I recall an episode of “Dinner: Impossible” in which he used the bottom of pottery to restore a sharp edge to a knife. He came off a little anti-sharpener to me.
I own the original flat version of the Samaurai. It works well.