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THIS JUST IN: Paula Deen’s Face Is Now On Whole Chickens
---Paula Deen Has “Same Face” Syndrome
---FOOD FIGHT: Anthony Bourdain vs Paula Deen
---Paula Deen FLOUR
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Paula Deen “Recipe Writing Desk”
Paula Deen »
THIS JUST IN: Paula Deen’s Face Is Now On Whole Chickens
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Yes, we said WHOLE CHICKENS. You know, for those moments when having your own furniture line, eyewear line, apparel line, mattress line, and everything else just isn’t enough.
Here’s what ol’ Paula had to say about her new relationship with Springer Mountain Farms:
Hang on a second… let me just put that through the “CELEBRITY SPEAK BULLSHIT TRANSLATOR” for you. Ah yes. There we go:
In an unrelated note, Publix really needs to clean their disgusting, bloody meat case.
(Thanks for the pic, Matthew!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---SWINE FLEW: Paula Deen Hit In The Face With A Ham (With Video)---Paula Deen Has “Same Face” Syndrome
---FOOD FIGHT: Anthony Bourdain vs Paula Deen
---Paula Deen FLOUR
---Ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Week: Paula Deen “Recipe Writing Desk”
- Paula Deen
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
51 Responses
Nothing says fame whore like putting your face on the side of a chicken.
You have it backwards,
Nothing says fame whore than putting a chicken on the side of your face.
Nothing says ca-ching like putting your face on the side of a chicken. I can’t even hate on her for that.
She’s about as Photoshopped as Nancy Piglosi. They should put Nancy’s face on a pork package!! LOL
Good thing is when you’re done, you can stuff her face in the trash.
“Chicken is a very logical line of food for us to have”
Wow, does that sound stupid.
It sounds like the badly translated packaging I find at T&T Asian Supermarket.
“Stupid” is the appropriate adjective here, on many levels.
Couldn’t pay attention to Paula’s face at all because of that nasty ass meat case. That’s sick, y’all.
I thought the same thing, that’s just disgusting. If that’s the condition of the meat cases that the customers see I don’t wanna imagine how it is in the storage fridge/freezer on the back store.
I foresee even more refunds in Paula’s marketing life.
Her face has been photoshopped to such a zombie-like state that I feel like she is stealing my soul. Kill it with fire!!!
If they keep doing that, on the next photo of her the face will just be a blur.
“Hey, y’all! Now that I’ve gone through menopause, I’m as hormone-free as these all-natural cheeckens!”
I’m not a Paula Deen fan, so I have to ask: is this the ONLY picture of Paula Deen that her publicists will allow? It’s always the same look, same hair, *exact* same grin, on every single picture! I think the only thing they change is her shirt using Photoshop.
I am a fan and you do have a point! Ha ha I never even thought about it but they do you the exact same ‘look’ every single time. They could at least switch it up a little bit. I have to say that she is quite pretty in person and her eyes are craaazy blue.
Brings new meaning to the words, “what’s up chicken butt?”
ha, publix! only in florida….where my granny lived. and sadly, she would totally have bought these chickens. damn you paula deen!
Not that I need another reason to justlfy being a vegetarian, but that meat case would have done me in for sure. Not to mention Paula’s giant face on a dead bird. Yuck. No thanks.
I’m not surprised that she’s putting her face on chicken. (It’s already on Springfield hams)
I’m more surprised that she hasn’t put her face on butter yet.
That’s definitely backwards, it’s the butter that goes on her face.
Nah, butter goes IN her face
“Yet” being the key word.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Springer Mountain Farms was just another nasty factory farm that abuses their animals.
You mean like Smithfield? ;-)
On the contrary. Springer Mountain Farms is WELL known for their treatment of animals. They treat their chickens extremely well.
Stay tuned on that sir…A little bird told me that they may not be as ethical as you’ve been led to believe and that there is video to prove it…
oh the suspense!
I’d be curious to know how long the Photoshop artist worked on her. Those teeth! lol wow. I mean there is a point where it all becomes way too unnatural looking.
That’s how you can distinguish a bad graphic designer from a good one. When retouching you just need to get rid of small imperfections not perform plastic surgery.
And this is one of the best photos, the ones with the unnaturally blue/greyish eyes give me the creeps.
Aw,,, the Celebrity Bullshit Translator. Love it! Do you know if they make a politician bullshit translator? Probably not. I think the only translation that would come from it would be “fuck you all”.
Is it GOOD chicken? Oops, wrong celeb.
I shouldn’t be one to talk, but I am surprised that someone hasn’t made a joke about the chicken promoter missing her turkey neck.
Has anyone noticed that the photoshop team gave her the Britney Spears treatment? You know…slimmed her face, made her super tan and her teeth super white, and fluffed up her hair? They scaled down the “I’s country ya’aaaaall” but still can’t take the trash out.
She’s gonna have to stop doing “in person” showings because they wont recognize her.
$8.35 for a freaking chicken? Ok I am cheap. I will stick with Tyson.
ugh, wouldn’t eat Tyson on a dare. Mealy, watery, nasty
I’m happy to pay for a good chicken; Miller Amish in my area is a good compromise between Bell & Evans and Tyson/generic.
But unless I knew that PD chicken wasn’t factory farmed…NEVER
I’m waiting to see Rachael Ray’s ass on a rump roast.
And Aunt Sandy on a bottle of vanilla vodka, and Guy Ferry on a box of Summer’s Eve.
She is implying that she personally visited springer mountain farms and checked them out….
“Chicken is a very logical line of food for us to have”? Oh, you mean like the thousands of other naturally healthy items intended for human consumption? What a ridiculous thing to say…or have written for you.
What possible benefit does the claim “All Vegetarian Diet” provide? Birds aren’t vegetarians. Sounds to me like these are caged birds being fed bird chow from a machine. Just like pretty much any other chicken.
Wow, and what does “no antibiotics administered” mean? Does that mean the antibiotics are in the feed? I guess it hinges on how you define “administered”.
The federal government requires chickens to be fed vegetarian chow. This does prevent them from adding bone meal and other nasty stuff to chicken meal like they do (did?) for cows (which led to the Mad Cow Disease scare). Chickens that are free-roaming, cage-free, or any of that feel good stuff that indicates natural chicken behavior do indeed behave like normal chickens and eat anything that holds still long enough. But technically they are still “vegetarian fed.” Vegetarian feed includes marigold petals to tint the chicken skin yellow because the consumer associates this with quality, outdoorsy chickens (that come by the yellow in their skin honestly in the sunshine). Similarly tumeric is given to layers in battery cages because otherwise the egg yolks would be grey. (A farm fresh egg is almost orange. A battery hen egg is pale yellow).
I would wager that “no antibiotics administered” means that the chickens are not given antibiotcs in their feed as a preventative. Probably it is given out therapeutically when the flock is ill.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. The other half is blue and red lasers.
Mo money, mo money, mo money, ’cause you can never have enough y’all.
“What possible benefit does the claim “All Vegetarian Diet” provide? Birds aren’t vegetarians. Sounds to me like these are caged birds being fed bird chow from a machine. Just like pretty much any other chicken.”
You’re right! Personally I would like to think that any chicken I eat enjoyed a few juicy insects in its day.
by the way, I shop at Publix here in Georgia and our meat cases never look like that! I choose Publix because it’s so clean. I guess not everywhere.
You’re right about the “all vegetarian diet”. I would like to think that any chicken I might eat enjoyed life, including a few juicy insects in its day.
Also, I shop at Publix here in Georgia and the meat cases at all three stores in my area are sparkling clean. I choose Publix because it is so clean, but I guess not everywhere. Yeeshk.
If Paula Deen’s face is on it… it ain’t no spring chicken. Just nasty old hen.
Rachel Ray IS a rump roast LOL!!
Really? $8.35?? I can get a nice chix at Kroger for $4.00 without that fat bitches’ pic on it!! Know I’m from the South, but, still, $8. 35 for a chicken?
Is that…uncovered meat in the cooler? No, it can’t be…
Antibiotics normally go in the water, in fact I would much rather they be given standard antibiotic in the water so that tagline doesn’t impress me. Broiler chicks only live about 8-16 weeks with most high volume sellers using the fastest chicks so diseases often don’t have time to show much before they’re butchered (if it doesn’t kill the bird the butcher never knows)
Also an all-veg diet is pretty standard in broilers and has been, they’re just trying to use it as some sort of tagline for peeps that don’t have a clue.
It’s a chicken, nothing especially bad or good compared to any other whole chicken in a grocery store.
I hope you read these comments Paula, Cause I think you are sicking fucking BITCH. Your accent is fake. You look like another Tammy with all that crap on your face. I live in Savannah, but from Rabun county. Do you know where that is? Or where you just to busy checking out the chicken farm, and the dollar bills forming in you head. Why don’t you just put your face on the body of a chicken and a pig.Yea you PIG. I highly suggest Mrs. Wilks to anyone that comes to nigar filled Savannah.
WOW! You people really need to grow the hell up!! No wonder the world is full of all the problems we have….it’s caused by the hatred displayed here!! Personally I think that each one of your nasty comments is due to nothing more than pure jealousy!! Probably just sitting home, unemployed and have nothing better to do than run your mouth, about people you know nothing about!!!!! Remember one thing…..Karma, and it will come around someday and bite you in the ass!!! Geez……probably not more than maybe a 6th grade collective IQ if you put all the nasty comments together!!!!!