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NEW RULE: Stop Asking Celebrity Chefs To Re-Tweet STUPID SHIT
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I love Twitter. Without it, how would we learn behind-the-scenes facts about Kitchen Stadium, what Anne Burrell’s new tattoos look like, or that thousands of idiots thought Giada De Laurentiis was pregnant because her belly EVER SO SLIGHTLY popped out of her Victoria Beckham dress when she served the Royals earlier this year:
Uh, obviously you’re not pregnant, Giada. What do you weigh, 72 pounds? If you had any less flesh on your bones, you’d be the crypt keeper.
But enough about Giada. There’s a new trend on the horizon… a trend that is driving everyone absolutely insane: BEGGING FOR RETWEETS.
People of the world, STOP ASKING CELEBRITIES TO RETWEET STUPID, MUNDANE SHIT FROM YOUR LIVES. And celebrities of the world, STOP OBLIGING THESE PEOPLE!
The phrase “Can I get a RT” should be banished from Twitter. Whatever happened to the days when people simply retweeted interesting, helpful things without being begged to do so? Believe me when I say no one cares that your sister-in-law’s baby claps her hands every time Sandra Lee comes on the TV, or that the kid who cuts your lawn’s grandfather’s kitten has an upcoming birthday. Enough!
Hundreds of you have written in to FNH to complain about this, so I used Twitter’s search tool and compiled the 10 most obnoxious things fans actually asked celebrity chefs to retweet:
10. @paula_deen Can I get an RT and a plug for my food podcast It’s my 33rd birthday
[My reply: Why would Paula Deen promote some assclown she's never heard of?]
9. @TylerFlorence I learned 2 cook bcause of you! Its my birthday & all I want is a little tweet PLEASE
[My reply: Let me guess, you live alone in your mother's basement and never got invited to prom?]
8. @mariobatali can I get a RT of my spinach ricotta calzone http://t.co/bsrv36O
[My reply: No. No you can't. And do you know why? Because no one is impressed by or even remotely cares about your stupid spinach ricotta calzone.]
7. @GDeLaurentiis Your SO beautiful inside and out !! How about a shout out to a pisan !
[My reply: How about you learn the basics of grammar first?]
6. @GuyFieri My friend Leslie is a huge fan and she’s got a bday on thurs. Can I get a shout out to her from you? XOXO
[My reply: If she loves Guy Fieri that much, buy her a fucking cookbook instead of using YOUR twitter account to get HER a shout out.]
5. @chefanneburrell It’s my mothers birthday and she loooooves you and your awesome hair. Can she get a retweet?????
[My reply: Sorry, no. If only you used a few more ooooooooo's.]
4. @GuyFieri can I get an RT just made a group of orphans some jalapeno cheesy blasters
[My reply: It's not nice to be cruel to orphaned children.]
3. @GDeLaurentiis I bought some of your knives today! they are soo awesome!! :) can I get a RT?
[My reply: You got soo ripped off!]
2. @chefanneburrell I hate 2 spread my sorrow, but in late stages of HepC, really sick, but u ALWAYS can make me smile. Plz retweet?
[My reply: Great. Thanks. My grandmother died 3 years ago. Maybe we could talk about that next.]
1. @GDeLaurentiis My son Christopher turns 2 today. He kicked in my belly every time he heard ur voice. Can I get a RT?
[My reply: Your baby was kicking because he wanted you to change the channel.]
If the day ever comes when I have to reach out on Twitter and get a patronizing birthday validation from some celebrity stranger I’ve never met, take me out back and stick a fork in me – because I’m done.
Now can I get a RT on this article please?
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Stupidest Tweets To Celebrity Chefs: Part 1---Food Network Chefs Are Horrible At Twitter
---…And You Thought Giada’s Lemon Bars Were Gross?
---Dear Paula Deen, Please Stop Selling Your Nasty Pies At Wal-Mart
---Happy Birthday To Anne Burrell
- Twitter Conversations
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32 Responses
GOLF CLAP.
I can’t tell you how many celebrities (and not just chefs) I have unfollowed because of their lame retweets from people I don’t care about..
Oh. I love this. And I agree 10000%.
You know what’s even worse than the retweets?
When people ask them questions, and they respond without directly at replying to that person. So the entire world has to see that person’s question along with their reply.
IT ANNOYS ME TO NO END!!!!!!!!
I unfollowed Giada for this very reason.
I want to banish this too. It used to be people would only retweet interesting things but now my twitter time line is filled with birthday wishes and general retweeted crap. I hardly even use it anymore as a result.
What people need to realize, is that celebrities are not their friends. They are celebrities. And if they reply to you it is because they are just trying to be polite and they care about their image. Not because they genuinely care about you. Go spend your birthday with a friend or loved one instead.
Yes! There are websites that seem to feed this; I saw a site once where people were discussing how many times they’d seen a certain chef, and talking about how he was starting to recognize them at events. As if he was bonding with them somehow. Know what? I’d recognize someone too if they kept showing up where I was. It’s one thing to be grateful to a celeb for teaching you how to cook or make a flower pot smoker or make uranium out of common household products; another thing entirely to live or die by what they say.
Right. They’re thinking “Wow, he’s starting to recognize me!”
Meanwhile the celebrity is thinking “Oh no, it’s that strange woman who stares at me again. Why is she following me!”
Spot on. But I guess fake niceness is one of the costs of being a celebrity. You get a lot of perks, but this is one of the downsides.
I’m in a cover band and our female singer gets VERY freaked out about guys who come to every show. She purposely avoids them because she knows that they have that ‘stalkerish’ vibe to them and they have that “Because I go to every show, I feel like I know you” mentality. Acknowledging them too much only exacerbates the situation.
I think all the inane RT’s are one of the reasons I’ve stepped away from twitter.
Me too. I hardly use it at all anymore. It just got to be too annoying!
Perfect explanation for why almost everyone I know avoids the Twits.
Totally agree that this is the worst thing about Twitter. Not only do people have to stop requesting RTs, but celebrities need to stop actually giving in to the requests.
I don’t Twitter and have no plans to start…that just sounds seriously annoying. I stopped listening to a certain morning radio show because of the growing trend of people (who were calling in to participate in a trivia contest) asking to “give a shoutout” to their various damn friends and relatives. So annoying!
I guess it’s too much to ask that people concern themselves with THEIR OWN lives for a change, and stop hanging on every word that some so-called celebrity posts on the internet.
Good grief, “RT,” really? Do we need more stupid jargon in the English language?
Whew, glad to know Im not the only one annoyed by the stupid jargon and overused cliches so prevalent in conversation today.
Exactly. While I’ve been on Twitter for a couple years now, I don’t follow many celebs, and most of the time I don’t bother replying to them. No matter how much I might like their work, I refuse to follow them unless there are genuine tweets other than RTs, fan replies, and promotional junk I really don’t care about.
And, okay, I understand the thrill of getting a “reply” or acknowledgement from a fave celeb. Plus there’s the automatic boost in follower count. But to me tweeting a celeb the same tweet for hours hoping for one little reply is SO not worth it. Especially since you’ll probably just get a stupid smiley face if anything. I only reply to celebs unless I have a genuine opinion about whatever they tweeted, and that’s not often.
OH LORD!
I knew there was a reason I don’t twitter….
*shudder*
what’s a retweet?
Thank you. I was afraid to ask. Is twitter like texting?
When someone tweets something there’s an option called “retweet” where if you click on retweet it does just that. You retweet their tweet. Does that make sense? A tweet is like a status so if you retweet something it makes it your status so your followers can see the original person’s tweet as yours. I probably just made it more confusing :/. Hope that helps somewhat! :)
Agreed… Begging celebrities for RTs chafes me. No one cares if it’s your birthday, your kid’s birthday, your grandma’s birthday, that you got a job, got fired from a job, gave a blow job, learned how to boil water or make a suuuuper sssspecial tablescape. And yes, the chefs really need to stop supporting this nonsense.
Agreed to your point as well. But I seriously doubt all of the celebs read or retweet all the time…there has to be a groupie or personal assistant or someone (re: slave) doing all of that *tiresome* labor. And it is all for the loyalty of fans, blech.
Can we please just go back to the good ‘ol days when no one gave a shit what you were doing at every moment of the day??? Fuck me, I am so sick of twitter. Giada, you’ve got giant awesome tits, but I don’t care about your stupid overpriced target shit or anything else coming out of your mouth, just pop those puppies out and leave the twitter alone.
I see this as a new technological twist on an old practice. People have been asking their celebrity “heroes” for dumb stuff for..well, who knows how long.
I remember being at a Roger Waters concert many years ago where he had a mike set up for an audience Q&A session between sets. Some woman asked Roger to pray for her unborn baby, another guy asked for advice on what to do about his overbearing parents, etc. Geez.
But yes, RT *is* very annoying.
Just another reason for me to NOT use Twitter. Ever.
I really need to know when someone’s cousin’s kid has a birthday.
I tweet the kid BDay wishes and tell random strangers at Wal-Mart how we are celebrating a birthday today.
Celebrities, please keep RT’ing to make me feel like I have friends out there. Please?
.
Worst offender: Rick Bayless. Stopped following him because he retweeted every single frickin’ thing somebody sent him. Made my head hurt.
Yeeeaaaahhhh…that’s lame. I get it, fans love their celebs and some celebs try to be nice, but seriously?
I don’t understand the appeal of twitter. It’s actually kind of obnoxious. NO ONE CARES what you’re doing every second of your life. Celebrities included! And if you *are* someone who cares…well…well, you just need to get a life. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I honestly don’t get the hype.
“…Whatever happened to the days when people simply retweeted interesting, helpful things without being begged to do so?”
What ever happened to the days when people thought in more than 140 characters?
I hate twitter. I’m irritated that it exists, and im irritated that its popular, though i’m not surprised since its perfect for the “LOL IM AT #DENNYS” crowd. Im EXTRA irritated that twitter has become so prevalent that not only are people interacting with their favorite celebrity through it, but that in so doing, it requires us to further acknowledge it, as if twitter is some kind of great new paradigm of communication, instead of a continuing backslide of the average intelligence of the planet.
I once tweeted Anne Burrell when I made a recipe of hers to tell her how good it was and she replied to me. I thought it was very nice of her. :-)